To put it mildly, Ike was not happy. There he was in Hyrule, lost in the middle of an endless forest thanks to his horse getting spooked by some bizarre flying creature with spikes, sent to be the ambassador from Crimea. He slashed at the underbrush blocking his path, wishing once more than Elincia had allowed him to take Ragnell on this goddesses forsaken trek. He knew the main reason his queen had sent him and not any of the other, more politically correct lords, which made him cut down the thick grass and thorns with more gusto. Elincia was hoping he would catch the crowned princess's eye. Rumors flew about her unparalleled beauty, but for as many tales as he'd been told of her aesthetically pleasing face he also heard how she refused any suitor sent her way. He had no intention of even offering himself up as a suitor to the obviously stuck up bitch, a thought that made him smirk. Elincia wanted the union because while Hyrule was currently facing another Gerudo uprising, they were still a rich nation, more riches and soldiers than any ruler could ask for, a thing that would please his queen. He huffed as he continued onward, consumed in angry thoughts of how obnoxious royal people really were.

He slashed at a particularly sturdy little tree popping out of the ground as if to defy him, growling low curses about fertile land when he froze. Just beyond the defiant tree lay a clearing. As quick as he could he sheathed his blade and moved into the space, noting the dead grass with worried eyes. A tiny house, more a shack than a cabin, sat in the middle of the cleared land. The chimney puffed dark grey smoke, the walls overgrown with ivy that looked poisonous. "Hello?" he called out warily, his boots crunching on the dead grass as he moved forward slowly. A noise like metal getting struck sounded from the back of the shack and he froze, his hand going to his blade.

"Around back boy!" the sound of an old woman's voice made him relax a little and Ike moved to the back of the tiny hut. He rounded the corner and froze in shock for the second time that day. There, hunched over a cauldron that was boiling and spitting grey goop, was the undeniable figure of a witch. She stirred the cauldron more, obviously focused on her task, as Ike watched, dumbfounded by the fact that a witch existed out here.

Finally the witch looked up at him with hazy gray eyes, her hooked large nose almost comical. "Don't just stand there boy!" she snapped as she motioned around her. "Make your muscles useful and add a few of them logs to the fire."

"Oh... Of course," Ike released his grip on the blade and moved to the wood pile, grabbing two of the bigger logs. He hauled them over to the witch with ease, easing them onto the fire carefully. She nodded and began to stir faster, Ike stepping back quickly to avoid getting any of the boiling mixture on himself.

"Good boy," she mumbled as she stirred some more and Ike swallowed.

"What are you making?" he inquired politely and she paused in her stirring, her glare she sent his way making him regret asking.

"A potion," she replied after a minute and he nodded.

"Do you know how to get to Hyrule Castle?"

"Have business there do you boy?" she asked distractedly as she pulled a vial of what looked like blood from a pocket in her cloak. She poured a few drops into the cauldron and a foul scent hit Ike's nose.

"I do," he replied, trying not to gag. "Can you give me directions?"

"Go north," she pointed vaguely out of the clearing behind her with a wrinkled hand.

"Thank you," he tried to keep the sarcasm from his voice as he moved off, his boots crushing more dead grass under his steps.

"Boy," the witch called and he halted, half turning to face her again, "you go straight out of this forest now. Don't stop and talk to anyone else. Understood?"

"You got it," he moved on again, once more drawing his blade.

"I mean it boy! Not a soul!" He waved to indicate he heard her, but didn't stop moving out of her clearing.

XxX

Whack after whack Ike cut down the underbrush, checking the moss growing on the larger trees every so often to make sure he was still heading in the right direction. About another hour into his quest he came across another hut. A groan left his lips as he thought he had somehow just made a complete circle. A heavy sigh mixed with curses growled out of Ike's throat as he stomped into the clearing, ready to give the old witch a piece of his mind. The door opened and Ike halted in surprise. The figure of a well endowed young woman dressed in nothing but a simple shift appeared in the doorway, a smile on her full lips.

"Are you lost handsome traveler?" she asked as she tossed a lock of honey colored hair over her shoulder. Ike felt his feet taking steps towards her his brain had definitely not approved and soon found himself right in front of the young woman, her smiling up at him coyly. "Come inside," she cooed gently, "I'll set you on the right path."

XxX

"Boy!" The screech of the witch pulled Ike from his sleep with a jolt. He blinked in confusion, his brain a fuzzy cloud as he moved away from the naked body in the bed next to him. His eyes widened at the sight of the honey haired maiden smiling at him devilishly, not a care in the world that she was in bed with a man who was just as naked. "You monster! You slept with my daughter!"

"I-I," Ike tried to shake his head to clear the fog, his mind blindingly blank after stepping into the clearing. He stood up quickly, grabbing his discarded pants in an attempt to try to regain some semblance of dignity. "I know what this looks like but I swear I-"

"This is how you repay my kindness?!" the witch hobbled forward and Ike backpedaled, his back hitting the rough wall lined with herbs. He raised a hand in front of himself, trying to think of a way to explain what he didn't remember.

"Listen, please I-"

"No," she growled and flung something at him. The gray goop from the cauldron coated his bare chest, the smell of herbs, sulfur, and death filling his nose. "You're no better than an alley cat! You..." The room started to spin and Ike fell to his knees, the witch's words going unheard as he screamed in pain. He fell from his knees and tried to brace his fall with his hands, catching sight of both of them doing something strange. They were both shrinking and growing thin blue hairs, his fingernails growing and curling.

"Don't worry," the witch hissed at him and he managed to look up at her, "it'll wear off eventually." Ike howled in pain once more, the sound growing more feline to his ringing ears before the world went black around him.

XXX

This is... another short multichapter story I came up with after a funny dream I had. Don't ask, my mind is twisted. Cover art soon to be posted and drawn by me! Yay! I'm just waiting on it to be colored by by the best babe in the world, my Tin~Tin (if I even attempted to color it... it would look so bad and I accept my lack of skills). Special thanks to concisponci for listening to me pitch this weird new idea! Anyway, let me know what you think. Much love, Leigh