BETA READ by The Imperfectionist
The lyrics used in this piece of fan-fiction, are from Far away. I don't own anything; it belongs to Nickelback.
Dr. Brennan tiredly wiped at her forehead, lightly panting into the burning hot Egyptian sun while sitting beside the newly discovered remains. She carefully brushed some Sahara sand off the distal and intermediate phalanges to expose them better. She quietly continued brushing off the newly found human remains, and looked up at her companion seated on the other side of the bones. "All incontestably indicates a female in early teen years." Dr. Chigaru Hatshepsut, one of the famous local archeologists in Dayr al-barsha quietly nodded, agreeing. Dr. Temperance Brennan, one of the famous international forensic anthropologists and novelists, immediately lit up upon seeing that.
This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?
"Sweetie, when are you getting back?" Angela's voice sounded. Brennan sighed, looking at her colleague and best friend's sad expression onto her screen. Both women were video-chatting, made somewhat troublesome by the six hour time difference. With Brennan, it had already rolled around one in the morning, while Angela had only barely gotten home after a very busy day at the Jeffersonian.
"Monday. I haven't even been away for three days, Ange."
"So it's absolutely unheard of for me to miss you?" Angela chuckled. "I mean, everything's going insane here without you. Booth's…"
"I haven't taken any time off in years, Ange… I really enjoy returning to my initial passion, but what were you going to say about Booth?" Brennan's voice sounded, wondering. She quietly listened, eyes very carefully focused onto Angela's image.
"Sweetie. Please… I'm well aware that anything psychological and you usually don't fit together, but you aren't going to say that you haven't noticed that sudden, radical change into your relationship with him."
"We aren't having a–" "Sweetie."
"Oh. You weren't–" "No, I wasn't. Anyways… Booth and you really have been acting awkward around each other lately… and I'm not chiding him for that. I mean… after Rebecca and all… You very likely ruptured him inside, by not giving him a chance."
"Ange… You are making it sound only worse."
"You mean, it isn't that bad?"
"No, I wasn't actually saying that… I mean, I surely have noticed some alternation in our usual… communication, but that, I think, wasn't entirely inevitable after our… rather emotional conversation," she whispered, looking down, but then immediately up again by realizing that Angela could observe her every move. Brennan's legs were both curled up against her chest while sitting onto the desk chair, belonging to her very luxurious hotel room into the city.
"Yeah," Angela nodded. "I haven't seen him looking happy anymore ever since, and now since you have left for Deir el…"
"Dayr al-barsha."
"Yeah, whatever… He's even less happy looking since you left. I think that maybe he guesses that you left for him. Booth very easily admonishes himself for things that aren't really his responsibility, especially when it comes down on you. He really loves you."
"I'm well aware. I only… I'm no good in relationships. I really enjoy working with him. I would like it better not to endanger that for something that is very likely to be terminated badly because of me," Brennan whispered, tears welling up into her eyes while saying it, then composing herself again. "I really have to get up early tomorrow, so I maybe better go to bed. I'll trust you'll be online around the same time tomorrow night. Bye."
And that's when she suddenly ended their video-chat. Brennan didn't even wait for her companion's reply.
Just one chance 'Cause you know,
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
You know, you know
Booth sighed, leaning back into his not too comfortable desk chair, feet impolitely on the desk itself; hands weaved into each other behind his head while thinking. In Washington D.C. the time was only a couple minutes after six, so his shift wouldn't be going into motion for nearly three hours. She very likely had left for him, he thought. He couldn't think of anything else. He had… frightened her by admitting his feelings towards her. He had… fucked up their only chance for happiness together.
At home, everything reminded him of his Bones. He would imagine her vividly sitting into his couch, or looking through his kitchen cupboards in search for cups. He could locate her in his thoughts in nearly every single room but his bedroom. That's why he hadn't really been able to fall asleep ever since their fucked up chance for maybe a lifetime of happiness. That's why it had only gotten worse since Bones had left D.C.
Booth certainly was aware of her not having had any time off in years, and accepted her need for it – even though what she would likely be doing right now didn't sound to him as relaxing or anything of that. He, however, couldn't get that nasty thought off his head that it had been due to him. He couldn't really think of it as not personal. Temperance's sudden leaving had maybe been a little too coincidental; too soon after his faux pas.
Even though his Bones never had exhibited herself as picking up non-verbal communication that easily; he highly doubted that she hadn't experienced his love for her before. Maybe she had tried to repress it? After all… She didn't love him.
Booth sighed, thinking that maybe her not having been ready could be another option. Both of them never ceased sharing their intimate occasions. He vividly had their dance at her reunion in mind, and thought maybe their not being in an intimate relationship while sharing these occasions would eventually be enough to open up her being. He sighed. 'That neither of us…' Booth had said to her, which would mean that he no longer felt anything for Bones. 'I've moved on,' he had said to Sweets, which would mean nearly the same.
Liar, Booth whispered to himself in the otherwise empty office. He wanted to be walking through that door, with her. And he for sure hadn't moved on.
That I love you
That I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
Bones… so beautiful. He had loved her all along, ever since that first case together. Even though both of them were so incomparable in mere aspects, something particular had already sparked between them at that occasion. It lingered within him until meeting her again, and becoming her definite partner.
And over the previous years, since becoming partners, Booth felt like their relationship had only become stronger. Their issues had been solved, and a high level connection had come to exist between them… something that hadn't gotten a chance to form before.
He really missed her. Booth really missed having Thai with her after solving murders; missed always finding himself lightly amused at her poor humor, and even being offended by her while meaning well.
His emotional distance had very likely pushed her even further towards leaving.
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
Dr. Brennan couldn't really deny that it felt particularly odd to be abroad without Booth. She could take care of herself perfectly well, but she still couldn't repress that awkward feeling in her lower abdomen. She couldn't think of anything that could possibly cause it. Was this what others called heartache?
Of course she loved him back… However, she couldn't bear to gamble with what Booth and she now had together… because that meant simply too much for her. She never wanted to let him go, even though it surely sounded so irrational; even though she, like no one else, comprehended that in life, people would always continually come, and go.
She quietly swallowed an immense, non-existing lump though her throat by the thought of never seeing him again. Her breath caught thinking about how Booth would feel right now, with her not there… having run for him. Even though her needing some time off hadn't really been a lie, it had certainly disguised the real reason… She only wanted to evade his sad gazes for a little while, because it made her crumple inside, as irrational as that sounded as well… maybe give him some time to get over her… She really wanted him to be happy, and since she couldn't give him that…
What if by the time that she got back home, he had given his resignation? What if he couldn't bear it to work with her anymore after all? Booth wouldn't be fooled by her real reason. He wouldn't have to search much to find it…
Oh, what was she doing?
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand
Booth chuckled sadly, thinking about the years having worked with her having been the better of his life. His eyes silently ran over the bobble-head bobby. Nothing between them would ever be the same again. He would really have to move along with his life, and find someone who would love him for thirty, forty or maybe fifty years, like Parker's mom never had, or she… Bones. Temperance.
Something within him had felt the need to crouch down on his knees for her, and beg her to please give him a chance. And now he actually wondered if maybe it hadn't have been better if he had. Maybe it could have lead to her admitting things she never would have otherwise? Maybe, if she actually did love him, that had been enough to have her put all her rationalities aside and simply admit?
Together, the two of them had looked Death in the eyes. Together, both of them had made it through, though. Seeley Joseph Booth highly doubted that without her, he would still be alive, and able to hug his son and everything. Teddy's ghost wouldn't have saved him off that ship mere seconds before detonation.
That's when a rap of knuckles against his door brought him into the now again. "Come in," he sounded, but immediately regretted that seeing Sweets enter his office.
"Why haven't you met me in my office?" Sweets sounded.
Booth briefly looked at the dial of his watch, indicating somewhat before nine. Whoa, had he been here for nearly three hours already?
"Listen, Sweets… since Bones is doing some digging in Egypt, I thought that…"
"That actually gives us the opportunity to chat some more about your feelings since Dr. Brennan's…"
"Listen, Sweets. Listen," Booth sounded, rather agitated. "I really, really… don't feel like sharing any of that with you. I'm good."
"You're one of these people not comfortable sharing their emotional pain, and I think maybe you're internally condemning me for it."
"Sweets. Maybe you better leave my office before I condemn you to a bullet between the eyes. Okay?"
"That's a very obvious indication of you returning to violence, which… Alright," Lance Sweets suddenly interrupted himself upon seeing Booth's furious gaze directed towards him. "I uhm… I gotta go." He couldn't have left the office any faster.
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
You know, you know
"Agent Booth."
"Agent Perrotta," Booth voiced in utter surprise upon arriving at the old warehouse where four bodies in advanced decomposition were found sitting up, and bound together by their wrists. Cam wasn't going to be happy having to identify them all, especially without Bones being there.
"All female," Cam sounded upon seeing both FBI Agents near where the corpses had been found. "I would say all of them were around the same age – late teens. I would guess around four days since death. I don't immediately see any signs of trauma on either, but–" "Were you aware that almost four times as many males as females die by suicide?" Mr. Nigel-Murray piped up.
"And what does that have to do with the case?" Cam said, looking up.
"Yeah, does that knot look like it was made by any of them themselves?" Booth wondered aloud, looking at Mr. Nigel-Murray. He immediately looked down, under a very girlish giggle of Payton Perrotta. "That's a very complicated one that I assume is only learned in the navy. Who found them here?" Hodgins looked up, nodding towards a somewhat older man sitting on a bench further away.
Booth nodded in reply, making his way to the man, while being followed by Agent Perrotta. He briefly looked up at her, twinkling eyes. He would give anything for Bones; for them. That she didn't feel like committing herself to a relationship with him, didn't necessarily have to mean that he couldn't ever be happy with another woman again.
Maybe he would ask Agent Perrotta for dinner after this case had been solved. He had already often noticed her eyes going towards him every now and then, on earlier cases and now as well. He hadn't forgotten about the chili yet. Yeah, he would ask her for dinner after this case.
It somehow felt like cheating on Bones, but he would have to move along with his life. She knew that he really loved her. She knew. If she ever changed her mind about her feelings towards him, she would come find him, he tried to make himself believe. What if she never changed her mind, which he internally suspected? He couldn't wait forever, even though his heart always would.
That I love you
That I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
Dr. Hatshepsut nodded. "Of course, Dr. Brennan."
"I'm sorry," she said. "I in all likelihood have conducted a… terrible mistake." That said, she quietly turned around to leave the sandy site excavation, to go back to her luxurious hotel room to check online when the next flight back to D.C. would be leaving. Temperance really hoped that that would be very soon.
She certainly loved him; she only hadn't been ready to say these three words to him. She had always been pretty timid to verbalize them seriously; it wasn't really about Booth. Being so far away, is what had set her to thinking, and realizing more than ever that she really needed to fix this before it would be too late. Three months had passed by since she had said no to his love. Four days had gone by without her being there – which may have lead him to make that one move he hadn't dared make with her there; her absence may have pushed him far enough.
She undoubtedly missed him, and hoped the same would go for him as well right then. Oh, what did it sometimes take to realize your mistakes? She shouldn't have left D.C.
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
Temperance quietly clicked to verify her flight. The next one back to D.C., back home, would be leaving at Cairo International Airport around 4:35 that night, and taking her to Frankfurt, Germany. She would have liked Business or First cabin above Economy, but since that appeared to be the only thing available so soon… She sighed. Four hours, and fifteen minutes later, at 1:10 PM, another airplane would pilot her to Dulles International Airport in an estimated eight hours and thirty-five minutes, thus arriving in Washington D.C. at 3:45 PM local time. In total, Dr. Brennan would be on the way a little over seventeen hours. She nodded to herself in satisfaction, even though she didn't particularly look forward to sitting in Economy… Booth, she pictured. Booth… Everything would be worth it.
Brennan easily took her phone, and selected Angela's number into her list of contacts before hitting the button to connect. She briefly checked the local Egyptian time, and quickly worked with the six hour time difference into her head, confirming that it indeed would be around lunch at the Jeffersonian right then. Angela's reply came really soon; it hadn't even taken two beeps.
Brennan, however, didn't give her any chance to say more than a hello, effectively ceasing her unuttered surprise. "Ange, I'm coming home. I'm leaving here in about ten hours, so I really should get packing. I only wanted to let you in on it. I would like it if you didn't say anything to the others, but I should be arriving at Dulles tomorrow afternoon. Bye." And that's how she ended.
Temperance sighed. Alright, get packing.
In D.C., Angela had been left very confused, and thinking about maybe telling Sweets about her BFF's sudden decision to come back… for one reason or another that she would hear sooner or later. Sweets had actually been the one indirectly parting Hodgins, and her… Ange sighed; if the too rational anthropologist really was returning so suddenly because of the reason she was having in mind, then Sweets surely shouldn't be hearing about it. Sweets maybe already had done enough damage by subtly pushing them, leading especially Brennan to panic... and turn down that man she loved. Sweets shouldn't be getting another chance to shatter their one chance to reconnect; only time could be in their favor now.
So far away
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know,
You know, you know
An unfolding into the case only came in the late following afternoon. Agent Perrotta and Booth found themselves satisfied after locking up their murderer. Booth quietly hesitated for a couple of minutes, then wondered, "Uhm, Agent Perrotta…"
"Payton."
"Payton," Booth corrected himself. "How would you feel about dinner tonight… with me?"
And so it happened that both FBI colleagues had dinner, and both ended up at Booth's address to continue having fun there, him for once in months being able to forgot about Bones, even if only momentarily.
That I wanted
That I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
Everything had gone right until Frankfurt, with basically no delay. That's where everything had gone awry, though. Bones' flight to D.C. had been delayed because of bad weather… and so she only managed to get herself onto another flight at five in the morning… and in Business, too. She hadn't thought about taking a hotel, really… having walked around the airport a couple of times instead, and having bought some little things for everyone back home… for which she hadn't had any time in Egypt. She hadn't actually been able to get something suitable for Booth, though.
Bones' airplane arrived at exactly eight in D.C., local time, with twenty-two minutes delay. She easily gathered her things, and was able to catch a taxi to the Jeffersonian… where she would arrive considerably late for shift. Even though she had immediately gone there after arrival at the airport… ending up taking her things along. She didn't really care much about it. There always had to be a first for everything… well, not everything…
Wendell, Hodgins, Angela and Cam's attention had only barely been caught by her appearance, when both Booth and Payton Perrotta came walking in after her. "Bones!" Booth uttered.
Brennan quietly turned around, gaze going over both FBI colleagues' disheveled attires, immediately connecting it with them coming in late together, and more. She only looked at them astonished; at Booth in particular. Of course… She had… Unshed tears too easily formed in Brennan's eyes… a very unfamiliar feeling washed over her being. She didn't immediately recognize it as jealousy, mainly because she hadn't really experienced it before.
Turning around, she immediately began towards her office. Booth however caught up with her easily. "Bones… this isn't what it is looking like; nothing happened between me and Agent Perrotta…"
"That's fine. I shouldn't…" she breathed, continuing towards her office… but Booth again interrupted her.
"No, Bones… nothing happened between us. I… I couldn't do it. I only wanna have you… I won't be able to move… Bones. I never wanted you to leave because of me… I have been going entirely insane here with you gone… I mean, we haven't actually been apart for more than a day in six years…"
That I love you
That I loved you all along
That I forgive you
For being away for far too long
"I… I only wanted to hear you say it, Bones," he continued. "I… You are surely gonna have to do quite a lot to… how would you say it, 'elucidate'?... irrationally leaving that archeological dig in Egypt early. We don't really have to rush things…"
Bones' bright blue eyes continued focusing on his chocolate brown ones.
"Bones, you said that you can't change, but you don't have to for me… I love you only the way you are. I love you for your silky soft hair, and your pretty blue eyes, and for your really nice bone structure… and for your smile, and for your laugh…"
Temperance chuckled, then suddenly became serious again, before looking into his eyes. "I love you, too," she whispered.
"I forgive you for leaving," Booth sounded. "If that's what made you say it."
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
"I wasn't ready," she whispered. "I couldn't… even though it meant only saying those three words, but I really do love you. I- I realized what terrible mistake I made… I'm so much unlike you, but if you think that we should give it a chance, that this could be working… then I trust you."
Booth's arms wrapped around her, holding her against him, and whispering into her ear, "Thank you."
"I won't leave anymore."
"I believe you," Booth whispered, holding onto her as if he never would be holding his Bones again. He could feel her wrapping herself even harder around him… secretly wishing that she would never ever release them, and let him go again.
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
Agent Perrotta eyed them both with downright fury in her eyes, and wide open mouth of surprise. Everyone else in the lab watched them with a smile, subtly widening upon seeing them leave the building, him tagging along her suitcase for her.
"Agent Perrotta," Cam sounded, making the only blond woman look up at Brennan's colleagues. "You should be happy for them, because actually you would have never been able to really get Booth." Angela's smile widened even more upon seeing Payton Perrotta's reply on that.
"What do you mean, Dr. Saroyan?" she sounded, doing a very bad job to hide her anger, and sounding a little too sweet. Her eyes were blazing.
"A piece of Seeley Booth shall always belong to the mother of his child… and everything else to Dr. Brennan."
That's exactly when Agent Perrotta really lost it, putting down a very good similarity with an angry fire-breathing dragon, whose dilated nostrils exhibited dangerous clouds of smoke. She furiously directed her gaze upon every single one of them again, before turning around on her heels and fumingly leaving the lab.
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go
Both of them believed that it would be fine between them; lips crashing upon each other's, tongues fooling around in then hers, and then his mouth; entirely wrapped around each other upon the Jeffersonian parking lot, heavily leaning against his departmental Toyota… stretching that instant before getting into the car, and going to solve murder.
Sweets couldn't really believe his eyes upon seeing them together like that. He wasn't getting any psychology anymore, or at least not theirs. After what had happened three months before then, Booth and she would still get together? Sweets had actually thought that that would have rather meant the end of their partnership, but he couldn't have been any more mistaken.
Of course the FBI Psychologist had known for a while that Booth, and Dr. Brennan were madly in love with each other, but this… after that? Anything that contained serious relationships and committing herself frightened Dr. Brennan more than anything because of her childhood.
He looked at them in a somewhat shock, thinking that both partners' love had been even stronger than he would have ever guessed. Gordon Gordon had been so right… Where were the differences between them now, seeing them so wrapped up in each other? Sweets chuckled to himself in satisfaction, for he had actually been so right about their being in love with each other.
A rather loud crash made Booth, and Brennan lazily release each other, immediately directing their gazes at that old blue car both recognized to be Sweets'… up against a huge sequoia tree. Both hastily made their way to him, to check if their crashed psychologist was alright.
Dr. Brennan immediately opened his door, Booth reaching for him as he threatened to fall aside without the support of his door. "Sweets, are you alright?" Brennan wondered, even though not immediately perceiving any damage.
"I'm fine," Sweets uttered, yet moving back and forth towards unconsciousness. "I gotta say something, though: I was so right."
Booth, and Brennan briefly looked up at each other smiling wickedly. In that one instant that Booth even only partially released Sweets' weight, he suddenly tumbled to the empty passenger seat, over the gear shifter, accidentally hitting the lever to set the windshield wipers in motion. Both of them looked down again with open mouth.
"I guess we better drive him to the hospital anyways," Brennan whispered, looking up at her lover again. He immediately nodded in seriousness.