A/n: Gakurin craving. You guys know the drill by now, methinks.

S'an AU. Based on the song She Never Cried In Front Of Me by Toby Keith.

Warnings: 10 year age difference, language, a crappy attempt at hurt/comfort/angst, etc..

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

–

The Ones You Can't See

When he first met her, he was twenty and she was ten.

He'd taken over babysitting duties for his friend, Lily, who'd wanted to go out that night, but she'd promised her mother that she'd take care of her little siblings. He didn't have much to do that night, and besides, he liked kids, and had volunteered.

He was put up against two little demon twins, a boy and a girl who looked exactly alike.

That wasn't exactly fair, he supposed. The boy was alright, albeit quiet. The girl, however, screamed at him for a good thirty minutes, then hid in her room, then emerged an hour later demanded dinner. When he told her that, no, she couldn't have orange flavored ice cream for supper, she'd thrown a tantrum and yelled words at him that he wasn't even sure were legal for little girls to say.

This girl, he'd figured, would grow up to be either a terrorist or a tyrant. Or maybe both, now that he looks back on it. She certainly set off a bomb right in the middle of his life.

–

Like most children do, Rin got better over the years. He often babysat in place of Lily, and after a while he was sure the blonde girl had grown to like him well enough.

When she'd gotten her first kiss with Mikou, he friend's cousin, when she was about twelve, Gakupo had been the one she told, blushing all the while. While the purple-haired man hadn't exactly cared about the affairs of pre-teens, he'd paid attentions and listened to he because he cared about Rin in general. About when she began liking him, he bagan growing a soft spot for her, and believed himself her protector.

There was one thing about Rin, though, that he didn't understand. And he never gave it much thought until she was fourteen.

Kagamine Rin never cried. He'd seen the child ("Young woman!" she would protest) battered and bruised from fights she'd gotten into at school, hurt from falling out of trees and down stairs, emotionally damaged from arguments with boyfriends and her brother, but not once did she shed a tear in front of him. He was sure she wept. Many times, he'd seen her with red around her eyes and tear tracks still staining her cheeks, but whenever he was in vicinity, the flow of sadness would stop abruptly and she'd smile at him.

It bothered him, if he were to be completely honest. Why did she feel as though she had to hide her feelings from him?

Four years he'd known her, and he still couldn't figure the girl out.

–

He was twenty-six and she was sixteen when she confessed to him. She no longer needed a babysitter, but she'd often end up at his home just to hang out with him. Gakupo never minded in the slightest, but he wondered what her friends her own age were doing. What she was missing out on by being with him all the time, as innocent as it seemed.

It had been an awkward, stammered event, with her shaking a bit and stuttering all while blushing. At first, he hadn't been sure why she had been acting. Rin was usually outspoken, direct to a painful degree and never unsure. And she surely never blushed this hard before.

They were sitting on his couch playing video games. He was sad to say she was dominating him at Mortal Kombat, when she suddenly paused the game and turned to him.

Her face highly resembled that of a tomato, and he opened his mouth to call her out on it as well as ask her what was wrong when she grabbed at his hair and pulled him roughly forward as his eyes widened in surprise, crashing their lips together in something that he supposed was an attempt at a kiss.

Okay, it wasn't an attempt. So young, he though, he so seemingly experienced. She knew how to move her mouth, to twine her tongue perfectly with his. So perfectly, he forgot himself for a moment and pulled her closer by her hips.

It was all passion, he thought as his eyes closed. As if she had been waiting for this for forever. It wasn't until she was in his lap, grinding down on him that he realized, no, he wasn't supposed to be doing this with a child. It was wrong and a stupid thing to do and slightly gross. He was ten years older than her, for God's sake.

What the hell was she thinking.

He pushed her, not too roughly, but enough that she got off of him, falling to her side of the couch as he leapt up. He was sure his face was as red as hers by this point, but she didn't comment on him, only giving him a confused, and slightly hurt if he could read her expression correctly, look. "What's wrong?" she asked, tilting her head to the side and seeming so small and helpless on his sofa.

"This," he answered, motioning between the two of him, and he was sure he saw hurt in her eyes that time.

"Why?" she inquired harshly, chin tilting in defiance. "I love you, so what's wrong with it, Kamui?"

She loved him.

A little girl ten years his junior was in love with him. And the fact made his heart race in a way that was certainly not innocent, so he turned away from her, crossing his arms, and then spinning back to her.

"Y-You don't know what love is yet," he told her, and she glared at him, shooting to her feet as well and placing her hands on his hips. She looked so strong, seemed so delicate. A walking contradiction.

"Don't tell me what I feel!" she practically shouted, stomping her foot like a petulant child. Belatedly, Gakupo noticed that that's what she was. Funny, how he kept forgetting. "I'm in love with you, Kamui Gakupo. Don't tell me it's not true. Why would I make something like this."

He put his hands out in front of him, trying to calm her, but he saw her eyes flare even more so, so he put them back down. "I'm not saying you're lying," he said calmly. "I'm sure you think this feeling is love, but it's not. Kids your age confuse love for crushes all the time."

Her lips thinned out into an extremely pissed off line, and he watched her bite the inside of her cheek, something she did when angered. "'Kids my age'," she repeated heatedly. "How kind of you, to lump me in with a group of dumb teenagers I don't even get along with half of the time."

Gakupo shook his head. "No, no, no." He reached forward, to touch her, but then snapped him hand back figuring it was a bad idea. "I just—Rin, please think this through. I'm ten years your elder. I'm old enough to be your—"

"My what?" she demanded. "People get married to people twenty years older than them, Gakupo!"

"And they're stupid!" He barked, and watched her physically shrink in on herself at his tone. Taking a calming breath, he continued, "Rin, people do that for the wrong reasons. People with large age differences can't work out. They have nothing in common."

"We're not like that, though," she muttered. "We're friends. Friendship turns to love all the time."

Gakupo's stiffened, knowing his next statement, no matter how gentle he broke it to her, would hit a nerve. "Not for me," he said. "I'm not in love with you, Rin. I love you, but like... Not like that." His heart squeezed again, this time in pain, and he vaguely wondered why.

"...Oh."

Her whole demeanor changed in an instant. Her shoulders slumped, and she gave him a sheepish smile, dry eyes meeting his hesitantly. "Oh," she repeated, then laughed hollowly. "Why didn't you say anything then, stupid?" She waved her hand, as if dismissing him, and started for the door. "Geez, Gakupo, you should have started with that." She put on her tiny shoes, laughing again, not sounded anymore convincing. "Sorry," she apologized. "I won't bother you with this again." She waved again before opening his front door, closing it behind her.

"...Bye," he said to the hard wood.

–

Three years later.

He was sitting on worn out couch, flipping through his mail when a letter caught his eye, the return address familiar until he remembered.

Rin.

After the incident, she'd all but stopped visiting him. Once every two weeks, maximum, until two weeks turned to three, then a month, and then not at all.

And now she was writing to him?

Dropping all his bills, he tore into the envelope with his teeth, heart pounding in excitement and wonder.

You have been cordially invited...

His brows furrowed. This almost seemed like—

Rin and...

It couldn't be a—

...in Holy Matrimony...

It was.

Rin's wedding invitation. He supposed it was inevitable. Rin was a pretty girl, probably couldn't keep the boys off her. And she was nineteen now. Children grew into adults, and often married.

And Rin wasn't a little girl anymore. She didn't need him any longer.

–

He was being selfish. Incredibly so, but what else could he do?

"I love you."

Rin stood in front of him, aged two years, in a beautiful wedding dress, hair curled and face made up into something even lovelier than usual, which was really saying something. Her mouth opened and closed for a moment, and then she squinted. "...Gakupo?"

He supposed he could have started this conversation a little better. But it was too late for that now. "Yeah."

She bit her pink, full bottom lip. "What are you doing here?"

What was he doing here? Storming into her dressing room, announcing himself and his feelings just like that on her wedding day? What an idiotic thing to do!

"I—" He stopped, licked his suddenly dry lips, "I love you."

She froze, then glared. "Who the hell," he muttered, "Do you think you are? Coming today of all days—and telling me that? Why?"

He'd stupidly assumed she'd take this better. But what could he expect? That he could just sweep her off her feet and they could ride off into the sunset? Not likely.

"I'm sorry," he said, "But I thought you should know."

"You...You fucking idiot!" Her face was red with anger. "How could you just—What in the world—I can't believe you!" Her eyes were watering now. "Of all times..."

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"I waited for you," she said, this time softly. Her tears that threatened to spill over were gone. "For two years, I waited until I was eighteen, thinking you'd come back for me then. When you didn't, I moved on. And now... now you love me."

"I've loved you since—"

"You rejected me!"

There was silence. Awkward quiet. Then, she broke it. "You should go."

With a silent nod, he obliged.

–

He didn't leave. He waited for the ceremony. And as she walked up the aisle, she caught his eyes. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Maybe more, but it could have only been a moment.

Turning away, he saw a tear finally roll down her face.

She finally cried in front of him.

–

A/n: Gawd. How's that for angst? Did it suck? Tell me!

R&R!