Neko: Okay everybody! This is a ONE-SHOT! I've had this idea going around in my mind for a week now so I just need it to get out of my system so I can try and focus on my other stories!

Allen: This is really cruel Neko

Neko: Don't care hon. I do what I please, as I please!

Allen: E-evil...

Neko: Anyways, back to the point. I have already posted a chapter for one of my KHR stories. I decided something quick and simple with put people to ease about my updates and sorts. Though not many seems worried. *sigh* I am not sure what to think of that... Allen, will you do the disclaimer?

Allen: Sure... Tamashi Shimai does not own D. Gray-man or any characters. Just her depressing story plot...

Neko: My warnings for you is: BoyXBoy love, Suicide, Murder, Cursing, and an abusive relationship, mention of rape... also Lavi bashing... Sorry Lavi!

*Lavi cries in the background while Lenalee tries to cheer him up.*

Neko: Enjoy!

~Allen's POV~

Have you ever thought about death? Have you visioned your death at least once in your life? I have, and I never thought I'd go in the arms of the one I love, thanks to the person who lied about their love to me. That person is already gone now, but it's not like my time can be rewound. Nothing can take back this moment I share with the holder of the midnight blue eyes, looking down at me with scared eyes.

"Allen, come on dammit! The medical team will be hear in a second! Just hold on!" I distantly hear Kanda yelling at me to hold on, but onto what? I lazily look around and see Lenalee crying nearby a window. Wasn't Lavi just there?

I try to process everything going on when it finally clicks. Almost audible to my near deaf ears. I was dying. Lavi was dead. And Kanda was scared for me to leave him. I didn't mean for it to happen like this. All I wanted to do was stand up to Lavi before leaving him for good. Tell him that what he did to me, was something unforgivable.

It all started six months ago. Me and Lavi had been in a happy relationship for a year by that point, but I knew we were fading fast as a couple. I tried to reason with Lavi about it, but he just snapped. That was the first time her beat me. He called me in-grateful, and a whore.

I forgave him of course. I knew what Lavi had suffered. Though he finally got over Roads mind torture, when Bookman died of old age, Lavi didn't seem the same. It was almost like he was recovering again. Just like that year so long ago.

Was it even that long ago? Couldn't have been more than half a decade.

I believed Lavi. He was right. I was in-grateful. Lavi was there for me when I needed him most. He asked me out, when I thought nobody could love me. He showed me happiness without having to wear a clowns mask over my true emotions and feelings. I was a whore for letting myself get raped by Tiki while on a mission.

That's how it started. I would accidentally say something to trigger Lavi, and the next thing I knew, he was either beating me or starving me. I think only Kanda noticed, but if he did, he left me alone. He did exactly what I told him to do when he found me crying in a meadow near the order.

I tried to be the best boyfriend I could. I let myself thin out, I used multiple face-washes and creams to make sure my skin stayed perfectly clean and smooth. I used makeup to hide the cuts, scares, and bruises that blossomed everywhere. I only spoke when spoken to, and made a mask so thick, not only the best liar could tell what I was feeling.

I knew the real term of what was happening to me. I just didn't want to admit it. I loved Lavi, at least the happy Lavi. The one who asked me out that day a year and three months ago. Not the one I fooled myself into loving.

Kanda was the one to point me in the right direction. It was also that day I knew I had fallen for the Tall male. That was the first time, my little world was broken, it's beat stopped so anew could start.

I was running through the halls. I had just came from the library located in the Order, and what I had found made me cry. All I needed to do was a little research on Lavi's condition. There had been a small part about the victim of a Psychological disorder/condition like his to result in abusive and domestic violence. Curious about what the site was talking about, I clicked on the link leading into more information.

Lavi was abusing me. The very idea scared me, yet fit our situation. Unable to comprehend my unwanted feeling, I ran out of the Library, crying and lost. Because I had my head down, I ended up running into the second to last person I needed to see at that moment. I knew from the sudden burst of Lotus shampoo and conditioner that filled my senses.

"Hey! Watch where you- Moyashi? What are you doing?" Pushing me away from him, he inspects my sobbing form and his slightly damp shirt. I blushed and looked away from him, shamed in being caught in sure a weak a state. "Moyashi? What's going on? I just the Rabbit, did something happen between you two?

I was confused at his questions. So out of character for him. I shook my head 'no' even though I just wanted to scream everything racing through my mind. I had turned to leave when Kanda called out to me one last time. I had ended up leaving with a small smile, though I don't think he knows that.

"You better stay strong Moyashi, I don't want a wimp being one of the so-called 'protectors of the Order'." I could tell what he really meant behind the hard words. 'Stay strong, I don't want to see you so sad.'

From then on out, it has been small messaged of encourages and love between the two of us. I knew Lavi was getting jealous of our flirting. He proved it to me when he started to hurt me during our small moment of making love with each other. They had been my only since that he loved me... it changed once he forced me to do things I wouldn't dare trying otherwise.

as a month or two passes, me and Kanda started our own secret relationship. Only Lenalee knew because she could tell the difference on how me, Lavi and Kanda acted. I tried to break up with Lavi, but only ended up roughly fucked, and beaten within an inch of my life.

Another month passed, and my hate for Lavi, and love for Kanda only grew. I finally just started to ignore Lavi, treat him s if we weren't a couple. If he wasn't going to accept it by my word, let my actions speak loud. To say Lavi wasn't pleased would be an understatement, but since Kanda was there with me, he did nothing. If there was one thing Lavi was smart about, it was to not piss Kanda off enough to actually pull of his treats.

I eventually moved in with Kanda, and to everybody but Lavi, it was basically official. I didn't love Lavi. I had nightmares about him with every second I was asleep. It worried Kanda, but I blew it off. I'd rather be abused in my own mine, then suffer that Hell once again.

Lavi's quietness just seemed to settle everything even more. Though he rarely hung out with us anymore, We just suspected it to be him trying to accept what has been accepted by everybody else. Nobody suspected a greater evil brewing around in his mind. We didn't suspect the dark thoughts running rampaged with each passing second.

If we had, I wouldn't be dying, and Lavi would be dead. Kanda wouldn't be hurt, holding my cold body, and Lenalee wouldn't be mourning over two lost friends.

It had happened so quick. I had promised Kanda to be back in five minutes flat. Just enough time to go down the hall, tell Lavi that we were totally over, and give him a piece of my mind. I did just that, but what I didn't care to notice was the gun sitting near the open window.

I was about to leave the seething Lavi when I had felt a burning sensation that seemed to come before the gunshot. I turned slowly back to Lavi with wide eyes, registering the barrel pointed at me. I noticed the red-heads eyes glowing with hate and what little sanity he once had, was gone.

Apparently I had taken over my time and Kanda ended up bursting through the door. Once he registered what was going on, he attacked Lavi. I was on the ground, bleeding slowly as the fight went on. I knew I was dying, almost like I could feel it. Not from the pain in the middle of my upper back, but something deeper.

The fight ended relatively quick. Kanda was about to kill Lavi, when Lavi jumped out of the widow. Lavi's room is on the 6th floor, promising no survival. Kanda, not even bothering to check him wounds, came over to me and grabbed me before pulling me close.

We stayed like that for a minute before Lenalee came crashing in. Her eyes were wide with horror and listened as Kanda told the quickened version of everything. Sobbing by the end, Lenalee used her Golem to contact her brother, and once help was promised the call ended.

That leaves us to now. I know I'm not going to make it. Raising my hand up slowly, I try to reach for Kanda's face. Helping me, The now out-of-character crying samurai grabbed mine hand with his own, and brought it to my wanted destination. I smile sadly as I let my breath slow down. I see Kanda begin to freak out, but shake my head.

I open my mouth, and breath out my last words before my body shuddered lightly, and I seemed to fall asleep. Sadly, there are no dreams for the dead.

I look around as my eyes once again open and grin as a tall mad stands before me, gaze sad, but smiling. I slowly walk over to him before bursting into a run. I engulf the only man who took me in and raised me. I take in a huff of air and breath out a sigh of happiness when I take in the familiar scent of my foster father.

Together, we walk through the gates. I knew that I was not in heaven with Mana. In a few years, Lenalee and Kanda would join me, and I could finally introduce them to the one man who made me have a life. Together we walk over to where another male was waiting for us.

Somebody I loved even though I constantly called him the devil. Smiling I wave at the redhead while gripping Mana's coat. Cross waves back before turning around and slowly walking away, waiting for us to catch up. Once we do, we finally enter the light and fade away. I was finally at peace. I was with my two fathers, and now could watch over the person I love...

"Keep walking Kanda, I'll see you soon"

Neko: I'm done! All done in one day! MWAHAHAHA!

Allen: Like I said, cruel...

Neko: You just don't want to be the one dead! Hehe, It had to happen! I love you man, but if you gotta die, then die. And please, let's stay dead!

Allen: Yea yea... Lenalee! could you come help me?

Lenalee: With what?

Neko: I was gonna have Lavi do the Honors but... I don't want him to die and all that...

Lenalee: Oh... I understand. Okay! Please Favorite and Review I'll See You Soon! Also, Follow and Favorite Airashi Neko!

Neko: Until I update my other stories! See-ya!