Mr. Icicle

Author GwenStacy

Disclaimer I wish.

Summary He found her on the sidewalk lying with a snowball. His name is Mr. Icicle, she said. Season 2. Jess. Rory. And sometimes Lorelai.

Notes I love season 2 Lits that focus first and foremost on their fantastic friendship chemistry.

"Can't breath…through nose!"

"I can't either!" Cough. Cough.

Sniffle. "My ears are ringing! Very loudly!"

"My throat feels like a I'm swallowing sandpaper!"

"My nose is red!"

"So?"

"So!? I can't let Luke see me with Rudolph's missing nose!"

"Why not?"

"Because last year when I was sick he kept making fun it. I can't go through that again! It was completely and utterly damaging to my self esteem!"

"Oh! So you'd send me to go get the damage!"

"Luke would never say anything about your nose!"

"Yea, but what if…"

"What if…"

Cough. Cough. "Never mind."

"Well, if Jess makes any Santa comments on your nose I'm sure Luke would kick his ass."

"I can't go get coffee. Me sicker than you."

Sniffle. "Please?" Sniffle.

Rory walked down the street in the blistering mid-winter cold of snowy Connecticut with her jacket and her scarf fluttering in the chilly wind. Every step was plain torture to her ill limbs and her mind was practically becoming delusional. She even began muttering to herself.

"Can't believe--" shiver, "that I even fell--" shiver, "for her silly little…"

A little yelp or yip (most of the sound was carried by the breeze) escaped from her mouth as she slipped on an icy patch of sidewalk. Her balance was screwed and her arms flailed out miserably before her legs were out from under her, and she landed flatly with an, 'Oomph'.

The poor girl lay there unable to move. She was just too cold, too tired, too humiliated, and lastly too sick to get back up and hurry on her merry way to retrieve the coffee her unwell mother so desperately desired. Sighing, Rory tried to get as comfortable as she could on a slick slab of ice. Her fingertips grasped snow and decided in her slightly neurotic brain that if she were Tom Hanks and she was in Cast Away, she would need her Wilson. Thus, Mr. Icicle.

She fashioned him in a minute or two, a snowball with a five-inch diameter and two pebbles for eyes. There wasn't any more room on the face for any other features, so Rory made up a story about how he lost the rest of his face to Frosty the Snowman who was really a vicious, vicious creature.

She couldn't help all this madness really. She thought this was the end. Rory Gilmore, found frozen three hundred yards from her house and six hundred from her destination with a snowball that had a pair eyes lying next to her head. It was as tragic as they come.

"Ah jeez. Now they'll blame the dead body on me too."

Her eyes stayed shut.

"Huh. Maybe she is dead. Oh well."

At this Rory opened her eyes and glared heatedly at Jess who towered above her. Her gaze softened when she saw what he was carrying. A container that no doubt contained coffee since the aroma was already thawing her bones. He also carried a large Luke's bag that's bottom sagged from weight.

His eyes followed hers and when he saw what she was looking at he clarified. "Your mom called Luke and told him that you both were sick. Next thing I know he's whipping up mashed potatoes, chicken noodle soup, ravioli, chocolate pudding, and he even went out and bought a bag of multi-colored marshmallows."

Rory's mouth watered.

"His name is Mr. Icicle," was what she came up with. It's the cold, friend, the cold…and the cold medicine.

"Huh?"

She glanced pointedly to the snowball, "Mr. Icicle this is Jess. It's okay Mr. Icicle, just don't make eye contact."

"Oh." Awkwardness presided. It wasn't every day you stumbled across a beautiful, almost dead girl that was talking to snowball with…were those eyes? Only freaking Stars Hollow. Only with one of the Gilmore girls.

"I can't move."

"It's following me."

"What?" she asked confused.

Jess's face contorted as he moved from left to right, "His eyes are following me. It's disturbing."

"Your disturbing."

"I have," he smirked, "the food and the coffee."

She now wished she were dead.

"I can't move," she repeated.

"Huh."

Rory closed her eyes in annoyance and pretended he wasn't there. "So Mr. Icicle, I know it's difficult to talk about, but can you please once again describe Frosty's rampage…Oh my…uhuh…yes…yes…"

"He's still looking at me."

"No, he's not."

"Yes, I can feel it."

"No, he's not. He's afraid of you because you have the same disposition as Frosty. Frosty is the horrible creature of snow that destroyed Mr. Icicle's face. He hasn't made eye contact with you."

Jess shifted again. "He's looking at me."

"Whatever. Mr. Icicle? Continue."

He realized he was wasting time and that Rory really did have the danger of getting even more sick lying there, her jacket and pajama bottoms now damp with melted snow, and he had to get her home. Plus, the stuff was getting heavy, but he'd never admit that.

"Your coffee's getting cold. Come on let's get you home"

Rory looked up at him. "I already told you. I can't move. I hurt."

"Okay then…I can't put this stuff anywhere…Okay, Rory…"

"Jess…"

"I'm going to bend down, and your going to maneuver yourself into like a piggy back ride position. Can you do that?"

"I think."

"Well, hurry. We really need to get you home."

After much groaning and complaints, Rory finally scrambled her way onto Jess's back and he achingly straightened out. She was heavier than he expected. He wasn't so sure that with Rory hanging on to him and his delivery in his arms he'd be able to make it all the way to the Gilmore house.

After two steps he hurriedly turned around and kicked Mr. Icicle.

"Hey!" Rory cried out.

"Hey yourself. That Mr. Icicle was going to kill me in my sleep! I swear!"

Lorelai had been sneezing on clockwork since Rory had left for coffee. Every minute and half her nose would scrunch, her eyes shut and her mouth would open. A loud 'Achoo' cold be heard ringing all around the household. She was extremely upset because she was unable to watch Janet Creed: the Story of an Orphan turned Fanatical Animal Activist and Her Alleged Affair with Brad Pitt on the Lifetime channel without interruption, and after deciding she really didn't want to see Christmas Shoes with Rob Lowe on Hallmark, this was obviously important. She needed to learn how to have an alleged affair with Brad Pitt. Granted she ever survived this horrible, fatal, deathly, terminal sickness.

Where was Rory?!

As if on cue, the front door burst open with a gust of spine chilling air rushing into the room. Enter huffing and puffing Jess Mariano and Rory Gilmore pale and shivering falling off his back. Lorelai really wanted to End Scene.

"Move!" shouted Jess.

Lorelai scared out of her wits of what he might have done to her daughter complied and was hastily handed…mmh…coffee, and, oh, is that pudding?! Oo! Oo! There's mashed potatoes.

Her daughter. Oh right.

Jess gently laid her out on the couch. Her lips were blue and she couldn't stop shaking. "H-h-hi Mu-om," she grinned.

"Oh, sweetie, what happened? Why are you all wet?"

Jess came back into the room with blankets he had stripped from Rory's room. "I found her on the sidewalk. She says she slipped on ice. She was talking to a ball of frozen water."

"M-mr. I-ci-c-cle," Rory clarified. She sighed, getting warmer, when Jess stuck all the blankets around her, wrapping her in her own cocoon.

"I was just coming over to give you the food Luke said he'd make you."

"WHAT! I n-n-eve-r-r ha-ad to g-go!"

Lorelai eyes widened, "I forgot! I pinkie promise! I swear on Jon's hair! You love Bon Jovi! They can't be without hair! It was this cold, and I'm so sorry, Rory."

Jess slipped to the door, "You should get her out of those wet clothes," and he was gone.

"M-mo-om!"

"I forgot!"

In a warmer, dryer house, with two warmer, dryer girls, food was being consumed at an inhuman rate. Even with Rory's new fever and migraines, and Lorelai's ignorance on the Brad Pitt subject, they were okay. The ravioli had done its job.

Sniffle. "Did I tell you I was sorry?"

"Yes." Cough. Cough.

"Okay…hey! Luke forgot hot cocoa mix! How are we supposed to eat our marshmallows without hot chocolate? This is a tragedy. We'll end up like the Donner Party, because we had to resort to eating you, because we did not have hot chocolate to eat our marshmallows! Hey, Rory, which body part do you think you can do without?"

"Ew, Mom! We'll just eat the marshmallows without anything else."

"No! Go and--"

"I am not going out there again. I'm already sicker than I was before."

Lorelai frown in thought for a moment before turning to Rory with a sly smile on her face, "Is Dean working at Doose's today?"

"Yea, he gets off at four."

"Do think you can convince him to bring us over some cocoa."

"He's working and Taylor watches him like a hawk."

"So?"

Rory pouted, "If he comes, he'll see how terribly ill I am, and feel compelled to stay and make me feel better. Then he'd have to make up those work hours on one of my healthy days. That's the way Dean is."

"Oh yes, he's too sweet some times," Lorelai said sarcastically.

"I didn't mean it that way."

"If he stays, we'll put in 'Mermaids'. He hates that movie."

"Fine." Cough. Cough.

Rory gingerly got up and walked towards the kitchen. She grabbed the phone and stared at it blankly for a few seconds. Turning back to her mother, and seeing she was totally engrossed in an episode of 7th Heaven, she took the phone further into the kitchen. She dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

"Hey!"

"I kind of need a favor."

"Huh."

"You going to help?"

"Maybe."

"What does it depend on?"

"Admit that your snowball was evil and was staring me down."

"No!"

"I'm hanging up!"

"Fine…he was a not very nice Mr. Icicle—to men—and he was staring at you."

"Thank you. Now what did you need?"

Rory smiled, "I need hot cocoa mix, because my mother is threatening to eat me, and…" She went on to tell him other little things about their day, and wish maybe he'd stay for a little while and watch 'Mermaids'.

Maybe.

And…CUT! Yes! Awesome!