As Roger stood on the stage of CBGBs playing his last song of the night he couldn't help but let his mind wander to Maureen Johnson. She had been his high school sweetheart but after high school the two of them had went their separate ways. The song he was singing right now was about her which was why it always reminded him of her. He closed each one of his shows with it and each time he would see her in his mind. Her pale skin, her bright green eyes, her beautiful brunette curls, her luscious crimson lips. It was only when he played that song that he could remember so much about her. He blocked her from his mind any other time but when he performed this song he remembered so much about her that it was like she was right out in that crowd and he was staring into her face. Tonight was different than every other time he performed this song though. This time he really was staring right into her face.
It wasn't until he was finishing the song that he realized it was her. She looked a bit different than she did in high school. She certainly grew up but his favorite features were still there. She still had the same pale skin, green eyes, brunette curls, and crimson lips but her overall image had changed. She looked older. Not in a bad way but she definitely wasn't little Maureen from Hicksville anymore.
He struck the last chord of the song and then walked off the stage, not even hearing all the cheers and applause. He wondered if her personality was still the same or if that had changed too. Most of all he wondered what she was doing here and how she had found him. It had been a few years since they had any contact at all. Roger thought it would be easier for him to be away from her if he could just forget about her so he didn't call her or write her. He didn't forget about her though. He never could. He could block her from his mind most of the time but then he played that song and she was in his mind. Every single time.
He sat down on the couch backstage and tried to clear his head. From the looks of her she had changed for the better but he had not. Ever since he moved to New York City he had been a downward spiral. It didn't appear that way to his fans or to people who didn't know him because he was getting a lot of gigs and girls were all over him. The truth was that he was now addicted to heroin. Heroin and alcohol after every performance. He usually had a few groupies who would do it with him and then he would get a good fuck out of them afterward. Typical rocker.
But he wasn't happy. He wouldn't admit that to anyone but he truly wasn't happy. Not without Maureen. He thought once he got to the city and got the career he had always dreamed of then he would be happy. He never thought one girl could mean so much to him but then when he was separated from her he realized how wrong he was. His career did make him happy but not happy enough. To achieve his full happiness he needed love. And not just any girl would do. It had to be Maureen. His soul mate.
He couldn't decide whether he should go out into the audience and talk to her or not. She would be better off without his drug addicted self leeching onto her but he did need her. It was selfish of him to only think of his needs though. Her happiness should come before his own. She wasn't the one who screwed up their life with drugs and alcohol.
Before he could debate with himself anymore, Maureen was already standing in the entrance way of the backstage area. Apparently she wanted to see him just as much as he wanted to see her. It wasn't just a coincidence that he saw her in the audience. And damn, she looked even better up close. Her body was even more amazing than he remembered it being in high school. She had the most amazing curves he had ever seen.
"Roger," Maureen said softly, a smile appearing on her face.
And there was her voice. The sweetest voice he had ever heard. She even used to sing with him sometimes. They would jam in his garage after school almost every day. He smiled as remembered those jam sessions. They always started as a jam session and ended as a make out session.
"Hey, Maureen. You look… amazing," he said almost breathlessly. "How are you doing?"
When she realized he wanted to talk to her and catch up she took a few steps forward and sat on the couch next to him. Being close to him again gave her butterflies just like it used to. In her eyes he hadn't changed one bit but she didn't know how untrue that statement was. He was much different than the old Roger and all because of his separation from her.
He really believed that if the two of them would have stayed together and not gone their separate ways then he wouldn't be in the rut he was currently in. He never would have started using drugs because he would have feared losing her but he already had lost her so what more was there to lose, really? In his mind there was nothing else. Sure, in reality there was his career but without her, without his soul mate, a career meant nothing.
"I'm doing good, Roger. I stayed in Hicksville for a while with our friends from high school and I had fun with them. I auditioned for some plays at the local theaters and got the lead roles and it was a lot of fun. I love being in the spotlight," she said with a giggle. But soon the giggle faded along with her smile and Roger could tell the conversation was about to get more serious.
Just as she opened her mouth though, Roger's groupies came prancing into the room. They were high as usual and probably drunk too. Roger winced when he saw them, knowing this was certainly going to make for an awkward reunion between he and Maureen.
Maureen's entire expression changed when she saw these pathetic, half naked girls waltz into the backstage area. She immediately did not like these girls. Just when she and Roger were about to reunite they had to come in and ruin everything? Not something that's just a coincidence.
"'ROGGY!" The groupie with dark brown hair yelled as she walked over to him.
More like stumbled over to him. And as she was stumbling over there to talk to him, she fell right into his lap. It didn't seem like she did it on purpose but once she was in his lap she made no effort to get up. In fact she made herself comfortable by straddling him and wrapping her arms around his neck. It was like Maureen wasn't even there!
"Ahem," Maureen fake coughed to remind both Roger and this…girl that she was still there.
She was aware that she and Roger had broken up so he was free to see other people but come on! He could do so much better than some trashy groupie!
When Roger heard Maureen he quickly sat up, helping Lauren, the groupie, off of him. He knew that hadn't been the best way to win Maureen's heart back but it wasn't his fault that the girl had fallen into his lap! He didn't exactly ask her to.
"Girls, could you give us some privacy?" He asked them.
Of course they all did just as Roger asked. You would think he was a god or something the way they worshipped him.
"I see you're not so lonely, huh?" She asked with a disproving tone.
"Maureen…. They're nothing to me. Honestly I haven't been dating anyone. I've been focused on my career," he told her.
He wasn't exactly lying. He was just leaving out the part where he got heavily involved with drugs and owed The Man lots of money. It wasn't exactly the kind of thing you wanted your soul mate to know about you though so he didn't want to tell her. Not yet. Not until it was necessary for her to know.
"Oh yeah, I'm sure I believe that, Roger. You're a fucking rock star here. You've got all these groupies and girls flinging themselves at you and you haven't been involved with them? You're quite a ladies man so I'm thinking that's a lie."
Roger shook his head. Why didn't she believe him? True, there had just been about five half naked girls in here and they had been all over him but why couldn't she trust what he said? He had never done anything to betray her trust. Nothing he was aware of anyways. He didn't know that it broke her heart when he didn't keep in touch with her. It was easier for him that way so he figured it would be easier for her too.
"Whatever, Roger. I'm obviously far from your mind these days. You're probably having a blast with your groupies in the next room so I'll just leave and stop distracting you," she told him before getting up and leaving. She walked fast and didn't look back, knowing it would hurt too much.
She knew she had overreacted but part of her had wanted to come here for a reason to hate him so much. She had built up so much anger towards him because he never called but they had agreed to go their separate ways so she knew she couldn't be too mad at him for that. She had always remained in love with him and part of her found him so she could get the love of her life back but then there was the part that came just so she could have a justified reason to hate him. Having five groupies backstage was reason enough for her. She hoped she would be able to put Roger behind her now and move on with her life.
Roger just sat there for a moment, unable to believe how badly he had screwed up in a matter of ten minutes. He should have told the groupies to leave as soon as they walked in, he shouldn't have had that goofy half smile on his face when Lauren fell into his lap, and he really should have confessed his feelings for Maureen. He had a feeling she had been about to do that just when the groupies interrupted them. He could have had her back. He wouldn't have to just live through the memories he got when he played her song. He would have had the real deal right in front of him every day.
After he took that moment to process everything that had happened within the last ten to fifteen minutes he realized he had to go after her. She was everything to him and he would never forgive himself if he just let her walk away like that.
He got up off the couch and went after her. He ran through the crowd and out the doors only to find her leaning against the building. He was so happy and relieved to find her there. It would have been his worst nightmare if she had gotten away because he still had no way to contact her. He threw her number away when he first moved to the city. It was his first step to forgetting all about her.
"I was wondering if you would come after me," Maureen said when she saw Roger standing in front of her. "I knew that if you did then I still meant something to you. Doesn't mean I'm not still mad about those girls but it means something that you chased after me," she told him with a faint smile on her face.
Roger practically melted when he saw that smile. It was better than the image he saw in his head every night when he performed her song. This time it was real.
"Maureen, I'm sorry about those girls but I promise you they mean nothing to me. I honestly haven't been dating anyone. I haven't been able to keep my mind off of you. You meant so much to me back in high school so when we went our separate ways I thought it would be easier for me to just keep you in the past. I wouldn't be reminded of how much I love you all the time. I couldn't forget about you though. Most of the time I blocked you out of my mind but every time I perform your song at a show I remember everything about you. And then tonight you showed up and it's more than I could have asked for. I thought I would be happy with my career but without you a career is nothing. I truly think you're my soul mate, Maureen Johnson. I really believe we belong together." He looked her straight in the eyes as he spilled his heart out to her and he could slowly see her forgiving him.
She was near tears by the end of his little speech. She could tell he meant every word coming out of his mouth and she felt the same way about him. Even though she had kept herself busy with plays and her friends back home she thought about him every single night. Every time she tried to go on a date she accidentally called her date Roger. She just couldn't seem to get him off her mind.
She didn't even know what to say in response to his words. She could only nod to let him know she felt the same way and then she took a few steps closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck before slowly pressing her lips against his.
Roger let his arms wrap around her waist as he kissed her. He could tell from that kiss that they would never go their separate ways again. They truly did belong together.