Adrian Veidt, the insiduous body-switcher!
October 12, 1985
Eddie Blake came into his apartment building in early evening. He sat down in his armchair, lit his cigar, and began reading The New York Times. Just then, the doorbell rang.
It was Adrian Veidt. And he was completely naked.
"The hell..." Eddie began to ask, but was interrupted when Adrian punched him swiftly in the jaw. Eddie fell to the floor, unconscious.
One down, one to go, wrote Adrian in his journal. Now, Rorschach is going to arrive at any minute.
Meanwhile, outside Eddie Blake's apartment...
Hurm. Filthy bastards lying in rein, thought Rorschach. Filthy streets. Filthy people. Filth, filth, filth.
Just then, his reverie was interrupted when he heard an awful scream that could've come from no one other than...
The Comedian, thought Rorschach, snapping his fingers in shock. And now, he falls. Must help him.
Rorschach used his grappling hook to scale the walls of the apartment building where the Comedian lived. He positioned himself discreetly on the fire escape outside the Comedian's window. He tried breaking the window, but it was made out of unbreakable plastic. Someone kindly opened the window.
It was Adrian Veidt.
"Adrian Veidt..." growled Rorschach. Ever since Veidt "sold himself" when he revealed his identity, Rorschach hated him. However, something caught Rorschach's ever-observant eye.
He was shirtless.
"Definitely homosexual. No need to investigate further," said Rorschach distastefully. "Checking up on Comedian?"
Veidt giggled like a little schoolgirl. Rorschach's eyes narrowed. The features on his face shifted to signify irritation.
"You could say that," said Veidt. "Actually, I'm checking up on you, too."
On me, too... thought Rorschach. On me, too... Good God!
Rorschach jumped inside and punched Adrian in his Adam's apple.
"Jesus!" spat Veidt. Blood oozed from his throat. Rorschach gripped Adrian from his ear.
"You're butt naked," accused Rorschach.
It was true.
"What the fuck's your problem, you asshole? Can't a guy get a word in edgewise?" snarled Veidt. "And, anyway, you're grabbing on my ear! It hurts like hell!"
"Sorry," said Rorschach sarcastically. "Now, Veidt, listen carefully." He shouted in Veidt's ear, "Where... is... Comedian?"
The mighty businessman and ex-vigilante whimpered.
"He's downstairs in the basement. I'll even let him go. Send me to jail! Just please don't hurt me!" begged Veidt.
Easy, thought Rorschach, Too easy. Must be a trap.
It was a trap. When Rorschach wasn't looking, Veidt stabbed him in the butt crack.
"Huuuurrrrmmmm!" shouted Rorschach, who promptly let go of Veidt. "Hurm! Hurm! Hurrrm!"
In Rorschach's moment of weakness, Veidt gave him a sedative that sent him fast asleep.
"You should be in bed, anyway, hot stuff," said Veidt. "I'll see to you in the morning."
And then, Rorschach passed out.
The next morning...
Rorschach was tied to ropes to a metal platform. He was positioned upright, and he was completely naked. The Comedian had suffered a similar fate.
"You, too, buddy?" asked Eddie.
"Not buddy. Rorschach," said Rorschach in an inflection which indicated he sympathized with him.
"I'm glad you're feeling like yourself, buddy," said Eddie.
Veidt came into his laboratory wearing nothing but a miniskirt, thigh-length stockings, and fuzzy bunny slippers.
"Veidt," reproved Eddie, "You wear those things in private, not with us. You know us better than that."
Good old Comedian, thought Rorschach.
"Do you know what I'm going to do to you?" asked Veidt.
"No," said Eddie matter-of-factly.
"No," said Rorschach astutely.
"Well, now, we're going to find out, shall we?" asked Veidt.
Veidt pulled a lever, and both of them immediately went under.
At around noon...
"Hurm," said Rorschach.
"Oh, fuck," said Eddie, "I feel like shit. How do you feel- Aaaaaa! I'm in your body!"
"Hurrrrm! Correct!" said a now alarmed Rorschach.
It was true. Anyone would've noticed it on their faces. Walter Kovacs's face looked shocked, but he looked completely out of character. He looked like he had laughed a lot in his lifetime. Edward Blake's face looked shocked, but he also looked completely out of character. His face showed forty years of grim suffering.
"What am I going to do?" asked Eddie frantically. Rorschach was alarmed that the Comedian was so violently expressive and emotional in his body.
"Easy," said Rorschach. "Easy. Look like an idiot. Rorschach doesn't look like an idiot."
"Well, look at my body!" shouted Eddie. "I look like I haven't laughed in forty years!"
"Rarely laughed," admitted Rorschach.
"Wait a second... we're free," said Eddie. He jumped off the platform with great agility. "He let us go."
"Trap," said Rorschach.
"I bet it is," agreed Eddie. "Well, I'm on vacation for the next month, so that's no biggie."
"Oh, thank God," said Rorschach. "Hate work. Anything better than work. Prefer being bum."
"I wish I was like you, buddy," said Eddie. "You always know exactly what to do with yourself and your life. Me, I don't have a clue."
"And now, you are," said Rorschach grimly. "Where's Veidt?"
"Let's search the place," said Eddie.
They got dressed, and set out and searched Eddie's apartment. Veidt had vanished. He left no clues or anything else behind. They slunk on the upholstery, looking pretty defeated. Eddie called the police, and was informed that they would arrest Veidt shortly... when they could find him.
"Feel terrible," said Rorschach.
"You'll need a cigar, buddy," said Eddie.
"No!" shouted Rorschach.
"It's not the end of the world," said Eddie.
"Have lived through worse pain," said Rorschach firmly. "Will survive."
"You're a brave man," said Eddie. "My doctor was doing everything he could to get me to quit, and nothing worked."
Rorschach muttered something indiscernable to himself. It didn't sound very pleasant.
"Well, look at it this way," said Eddie, "By the time you're back in your own body, you'll have cheered up. Right?"
"Don't know," said Rorschach. "Don't understand brain. Don't understand others' brains. Funny organ."
"Yeah, you're right. If you had my logic in mind, I'd be as depressed as you if- when we come back to each others' bodies," said Eddie.
"Hope not. Lived through rough times. Don't want disease to spread," said Rorschach, heaving a sigh.
"You hate feeling depressed, don't you?" asked Eddie.
"Yes," said Rorschach, surprised that he was being open. "Hate depression. Kills."
"I feel for you," said Eddie.
It was so wrong, so utterly, utterly disturbing, for Rorschach to view his own face with warmth, trust, compassion, sympathy. All those things that he had craved in childhood but never recieved, thereby seeking vengeance on humanity. He wondered now if it was really worth it. He decided to make up his mind. It was now or never.
"Let's hunt for Veidt," said Rorschach astutely.
"Well, I need fuel," said Eddie. "Goddamn, buddy, don't you eat?"
"Rarely," said Rorschach honestly. "Eat what I can. Raid Dan's house."
"Damn," said Eddie. "Well, you can stay here. I have money."
"Not hungry," said Rorschach.
"You're in my body," said Eddie. "I don't want to go to the hospital for lack of blood sugar, the way I'm feeling now. Let's go to a restaurant."
"Hurm," said Rorschach. "Don't usually go there. Try to look inconspicuous."
"You look fine," said Eddie. "Now, let's go to my favorite place. I'm sure that I'll blend in, let alone you."
"Fine," said Rorschach in approval.
The two comrades-in-arms left Eddie's place to go to his favorite bar.
So, what do you think will happen next? If you want to share your opinion, review!