All Characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Yes, all of them.
And this is my first fan fic in ages, so it would be nice if you would review and tell me how it is. Thanks!
Um…
I think I'm supposed to say
Dear diary,
Or something like that.
Oh bloody hell
Who knows?
Not me for sure.
Why I'm writing a diary,
Well,
It's supposed to
"Build character"
Ha
I have plenty of character.
That much is certain.
God,
How am I supposed to do this
Nearly every single bloody day,
For an entire bloody month?
They're insaaaaaane.
What am I supposed to write about.
Stupid parents.
Dumb, retardo, idiot, bloody parents.
"Oh Ronny-kins,
Keep a diary,
A journal,
It will help you build character."
To hell with it.
To hell with character.
To hell with bloody diaries.
Diaries are for girls
And Slytherins.
If there was only some way around it,
But no,
Magical bloody parents know magical bloody spells.
I'm going to die.
Wither away and die.
Nobody will even miss me
I can see the headlines now
Ron Weasley: Death by Diary.
Oh Merlin.
This is bonkers.
Bonkers bonkers bonkers
Bonkers bonkers bonkers
Bonkers bonkers bonkers
Bonkers bonkers bonkers
Bonkers bonkers bonkers
Bonkers bonkers bonkers
Bonkers bonkers bonkers
Bonkers bonkers bonkers
Bonkers bonkers bonkers
Bonkers bonkers bonkers
Times one million
At least.
Worst thing is
They'll know how much I've written
So I can't be finished yet.
Never,
I'll never be finished.
I wish a thousand spiders would come and eat me or something.
Okay, that may be a little drastic.
How about…
A dementor.
Yes,
A dementor could come and suck out my soul.
At least that might be slightly more entertaining than this
And slightly less painful.
My hand is cramping.
It'll probably fall off soon.
At least they couldn't make me write anymore,
Ever.
Bloody hell,
I'm going mad.
Maybe it's cabin fever,
Or was that cabin flu?
Who cares?
Not me,
Certainly not me,
Anyone except me.
I think I'm dying.
Yes.
I can feel death building inside me.
The bright light…
I can see it.
It's coming for me.
I hear the angels.
Oh,
Take me now cruel world!
Damn it Neville.
You and your stupid magic.
You're toying with my emotions.
Emotions,
That's what mum says to write about.
She's bonkers though.
Can you blame her really?
I can hardly believe she survived raising the devil twins,
At least after them she was blessed with me.
And then the joy was ripped away when little Ginny was born.
If mum knew half of the things she did when she's at school…
I think mum would lock her in a cupboard.
I would,
That's for sure.
Oh look,
There goes Harry,
Off to play quidditch I would suppose.
Lucky him,
He still has a life.
No I can't go.
Yes, it's a bloody diary.
Mum's making me.
Shut up you git.
If he wasn't my best mate I swear I'd hate him.
Especially because of his not-so-secret love of my sister.
That'd make me beat the Bertie Botts right out of him.
If he wasn't my best mate that is.
Well, that made loads of sense.
See,
I'm going mental.
I have to stop this.
I can't take it anymore.
If I'm not done soon,
I'll simply vanish.
This must be enough.
The field is screaming my name.
I quit.