Burry Brendan
"Look, there!"
"Where? That tree?"
"I'm telling you I saw a thing there!"
The two circus owners argued incoherently to one another as they traversed the African Rainforest. The men, named Herbert Walastramopulus, and Betford Albertbrowncock, were looking for some sort of new attraction at their circus. They were extremely gifted in their field of work, looking for snacks.
"Betty I don't know how we'll find anything good here." spoke exasperated Wallycakes, wiping bloodied sweat from his aching brow.
"Now look here Wallycakes, I'm not taking any bullshit cracker from your fat ass!" Betty gave a hardy slap on Wallkycakes' behind, watching the fat linger in waves. They were so close to finding something good, and Betty could smell pie.
"I'm going to check over here, you just stay there ok?" said Wallycakes with a sinister grin. He stumbled off into some dense bush with Betty watching him with a piercing glare.
Wallycakes slipped and fell on some loose stool. Wallycakes got up and tasted a sample of the stool before realizing that it was no animal stool. It was from human. And not just any human.
"Brendan?" Wallycakes demanded, looking up at the imposing silhouette casted upon him through the sunset. Brendan's voice spoke through the heavens in a mere whisper.
"Kill my wife Wallycakes," Brendan's eye was seen through a small portion of the clouds, peering into Wallycakes. "Kill my wife and I'll give you dollars!"
Wallycakes had to smile at this statement. Dollars he loved and dollars he would acquire.
"Deal!" rasped Wallycakes, heaving his fat ass off the ground. "Shit not again!" bellowed Wallycakes. Fuck he had to piss so bad. Wallycakes waddled off into a small corner of the forest and quickly undid himself. Wallycakes let himself loose. But he never realized that it was Betty he was pissing on.
"What the fuck is this game?" demanded Betty in a sexual whisper. Betty lifted his blouse in a fluid motion and bore down on Wallycakes. Up in the clouds, Brendan smiled inwardly. He was going to need a new servant.
With a flash of lightning, and a touch of fairy magic, Brendan Fraser materialized in human form. He looked at the jungle around him and planted his muscular arms on his hips. Then, the unthinkable; Brendan breathed. In through his nose and out through his mouth, letting in all the little aromas which surrounded him. Brendan took to owning the land.
"Georgie no understand!" Brendan said before shitting his pants. His shit excavated the new land of paradise for all the creatures God. Antelopes of every flavour, size, and gender grazed the newfoundland. All possessed the heads of Brendan's lioness wife Matilda.