He grabbed her neck and pulled her in for a soft kiss before placing his forehead against hers. "Sam, you mean so much to me. I love you so much. No matter what happens, please don't forget that."
A forbidden tear escaped and slid silently down her cheek. She placed her hand on his chest, over his heart. She could feel the sharp staccato beat and heat rushed through her veins. She couldn't let him go. She couldn't say goodbye.
"Don't cry, Sam. Please. I promise it'll be okay. We might not be together physically, but emotionally we'll always have each other. I'll never forget about you. I never could, even if I tried."
She couldn't forgive him for this. He betrayed her. He did what he said he'd never do.
He gave up.
"You don't have to go, Jack. You don't have to…"
"Sam, I DO. You don't understand, do you? We don't have a choice. Regulations forbid us from loving each other and I've finally found someone else who I can love. You have Pete. Why does it matter?"
Truth be told, she didn't have Pete. She broke off the engagement when she couldn't stop dreaming about Jack. Every fiery night in bed was with Jack. Every soft touch was Jack. She couldn't get him out of her head.
And truth be told, she was stalling. She wanted an excuse to tell herself and everyone else that she didn't love Jack. She wanted someone else to concentrate on. She thought she could wait it out. The feelings, the passion. But with every snowfall and rainfall and every sunny day, her feelings just grew stronger. She gave everything she had to him and she had nothing left for anyone else.
And he kept everything for another girl. She was selfish but she needed his love.
She needed to cry. Let out everything. Every joy and sorrow and loss she's felt. But not now. She'd wait until he left her for the beautiful woman he was no doubt spending the night with.
She wanted that.
"Sam, please. Don't let me waste anymore of your time. Forget about me. I'm moving soon. You're taking control of the SGC like you so rightly deserve. I'm happy and you're happy. Don't waste anymore dreams on me. Any more chances."
He held her close to him, feeling her warmth against him one more time.
"Promise me, Sam. Promise me that we won't grow apart. Promise me you'll be okay."
She pushed him away. She stood up and looked at him, refusing to show him that she was breaking.
"Okay, sir. I promise. We'll be coworkers as always and friends forever. Sorry for believing things could be different."
That stung; she saw it on his face. His mouth pulled into a tight grimace and his eyes closed briefly before reopening. He looked almost sad, desperate.
"Sam…"
"No, Jack. I don't want to hear it. I understand. You've found the perfect woman. You deserve her. You deserve to be happy. Please, leave."
Jack stood up and reluctantly took a step towards the door.
"Okay, Carter. I'll do what you want." She breathed a sigh of relief.
"Good…"
He quickly spun to face her and placed a hard kiss against her lips. He pulled away and she stood there, staring, too stunned to do or say anything.
"But please know that I have always loved you and I always will. I'll always be here for you, no matter what. That's one promise I'll never break." He kissed her cheek and swiftly walked to the door. He was gone before she could blink.
She stared at the closed door and felt the crisp wind whisper through her window. She heard its soft cries. She knew how it felt. Lost and aimless in a world where direction was everything.
And the only thing guiding her had deserted her.
She didn't know where to go from here.