Old Memories~ By: Sarah
5/20/10
A loveless Fanfic Novel
Prologue~ The beginning. As well as the end.
It was pitch black outside and the sky's color reminded the young cat-boy of the charcoal pencils Shinonome-Sensei, His six grade class teacher, had been instructing them to use in arts and crafts block. The were no visible stars in the charcoal-black sky. It was too cloudy. The night air was humid and luke warm, creating an uncomfortable, sticky feeling on the child's pale complexion. He grimaced at the feeling but decided that being out in the center of town on a humid night sipping mango juice was better than being at home and having to endure all the pain from his mother. The thought of his mother brought a vail of sadness down over him. He loved her; she was his mother of course. She had raised him, fed him, loved him. Until two years ago; she had been a normal mom to him. Smiling when he got a good grade on a test, coming to open houses at school, playing word games with him. She was fun and kind. The ideal mother. Soon after his tenth birthday, his brother, Seimei, his role model. The person he looked up to most died. No one was sure what exactly caused his death, but the child's personality did a complete three-sixty. He became cold towards others, anti-social, and only seemed to care about school work and grades. This sudden change in her son's personality greatly disturbed his mother. Since Seimei's death, his mother had changed as well. From kind and caring to violent and hostile. Crying and throwing fits and screaming those hurtful words he'd tried so hard to become immune to. "Ritsuka! You aren't my Ritsuka! Come back! Bring my Ritsuka back!" They still stung however many times he heard them; just like a bullet to the heart. Ritsuka shook the thoughts from his head and took another sip of mango juice. He considered stopping by Soubi's apartment to say hello, but he dismissed the idea because it was getting a bit late and he didn't want to bother him. Soubi was a man and art college student who claimed to be his brother's friend. He had, surprisingly enough to Ritsuka, grown quite close. Soubi, although a hypocrite, and a creep (In Ritsuka's mind) was very special to Ritsuka. Although he wouldn't dare say it in person and risk embarassment, the thoughts felt comfortable in his mind. He knew the thoughts remain; those three seemingly small words trying so desperately to escape from deep within in him. Ritsuka sighed. "I want to tell him…But what if…" What if? What was the 'What if?' Was there even one? I mean Soubi had already stated countless times that he loved him. "Ritsuka…I love you." Those words echoed through his head, and a red blush filled his face. A wonderful, warm bliss. He fished around in his pants pocket for something to write on. "I know love letters are cheesy…But this is different! I don't need to write anything else. Just three words. Just three little words." He mumbled nervously to himself. He found the receipt from the can of mango juice he had purchased earlier and a ball-point pen. He put the juice down on the sidewalk where he had been walking on for a moment and placed the receipt on the palm of his left hand. He uncapped the pen, squinted his eyes and turned his head. He messily scribbled "I love you" on the back of the receipt and signed his named at the bottom. He put the receipt back in his pocket. He knew that handing the receipt to Soubi would be easier than actually telling him verbally. But there was something about speaking the words that seems like it might portray his feelings more clearly. He sighed again and took a long deep breath. He picked up his can of juice and proceeded on his silent but thoughtful walked through the quiet town. He was getting tired now and his mind had grown hazy. For a moment he thought he had seen a bright light emerging from the charcoal-black night. As well as a loud and obnoxious honking noise. He began to cross the street that would, if he kept going, lead him to Soubi's. Though he wasn't actually intending on staying to say hello (It was way too late for that) he might as well try to slip the receipt under the door or something. He stepped out onto the open road and something hit him. Hit him with a force stronger and more painful than his mother's mindless abuse. He called out for Soubi. His voice hoarse and weak. He saw bright, blinding lights and heard more obnoxious honks. Just as quickly as it all happened. Everything, his world, His mother, Shinonome-sensei, his friends, Yuiko, and Soubi disappeared as his mind became blank and he lay there on the cold and barren street engulfed in a eternal crimson red nightmare.