Chapter 1, Beca and Chloe
If I fell in love with you
Would you understand me, dear
Love is weird
I colored you a valentine
Struggled just to stay inside the lines
I lose my mind
I really can't believe
I lost myself again
It's a clear Thursday night and Beca is sitting on a bench outside Barden, smoking a cigarette. She is wrapped in a blanket she stole from a stranger's house an hour ago.
She's tired. Not sleepy, though. Just tired. The wind is drying the tears she's shed, leaving her eyes red and puffy. It's weird because she's not sad. She's just really confused and even though she wouldn't admit it, she is angry.
There was a party. She didn't feel like going that night but of course, Chloe dragged her there. "But you have to go! All the acapella groups are going, including the Bellas. And you are a Bella!" The redhead said when she came to pick her up. She promised Beca she would hang out with her the whole night. So Beca agreed. At least she wouldn't have to meet any new aca-people. Or so she thought. She was actually having fun with Chloe. There was drinking and dancing and most importantly, singing.
And then there was him. "Who?" Beca yelled at Chloe over the loud music. "Tom!" Chloe sang as she ran over to a guy standing at the bar. They hugged. No big deal, Beca thought. Probably a friend. Okay, maybe not.
She watched and waited for Chloe to come back. She watched and waited for Chloe to stop making out with Tom. She just watched. And suddenly she felt dizzy. She needed to get the hell out of there. She almost got out when someone yelled her name. But it wasn't the person she wanted it to be.
"Becaw!" Oh God, she needed to run. "Becaw! Where are you flying?" He yelled after her. "Home! Feeling sick!" She lied.
She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. After a few minutes, her short breath took the best of her and she collapsed on a bench and broke down crying.
It's not like anything happened between her and Chloe. They're friends. But if they're friends, wouldn't Chloe tell her about her boyfriend? Her dumb, stupid, handsome, not-handsome-enough-for-Chloe boyfriend? She throws the cigarette butt on the floor and lights up another one immediately. She doesn't feel like going home. And she's definitely not going back. Suddenly, her phone starts ringing. It's Chloe. She waits while it rings, trying to fight back the tears in her eyes. But Chloe doesn't deserve this. She doesn't know. Beca grows impatient after the fourth ring.
"Hello?" She manages to choke out.
"Beca! Where are you?" Cheerful as ever.
"Home."
"Liar. Is something wrong?" Not that cheerful anymore.
"No, why?" Wow. Nice high-pitched but barely audible ending, Beca.
"Then why are you crying?"
"What?"
Something moves in the bushes behind her. "Holy crap!"
Chloe walks over and sits next to the scared, crying burrito.
Beca looks down at her feet.
"I thought you stopped smoking." Chloe says after a few minutes.
"I thought you were busy having wild sex with Thomas but I guess we can both be wrong sometimes." Beca says, annoyed. "And I did. But that's none of your business."
Chloe looks at the brunette and frowns, "What is wrong with you?"
God, she just has to sound like a wounded puppy, doesn't she?
"Nothing. Just tired. Sorry." She throws half the cigarette away.
"Beca..."
The brunette's face is in Chloe's hands now. Her tears are wiped by the senior's soft palms. How are her hands so warm?
"Why are you crying, baby?" She asks.
"Don't call me that. And I'm not crying." She turns away and Chloe's hands fall to her lap.
"Is it because of Tom? He's just a friend, Becs." Chloe holds her hand, trying to look into her friend's eyes.
"Well it didn't look like it back there! And I waited! I waited for you to push him off and tell him to stop! I waited for you to come back to me! I'm fucking tired of waiting!" Beca turns her body away, not daring to face Chloe after she just raised her voice at her. She can just imagine the hurt on her face. And now she can hear it in her voice.
"I'm sorry."
That's all. That is all it takes for Beca to turn around and close the distance. She looks into those big blue eyes and time stops. Without thinking, she crashes her lips against Chloe's. She can taste the saltiness of her tears and feel her warm, shaky breath on her cheek. It feels like two universes colliding. She remembers every moment she's ever shared with the girl. Every little detail. It's all there. In her mind, everything is alright. Except, it's not.
I wrote a song about your eyes
Ate a slice of cherry pie
I cried all night
On the bench inside the park
I'll kiss you slowly in the dark
I'll never stop
I really can't believe
I lost myself again
She thinks Chloe's about to make a move and kiss back, when all contact is lost. Her heart sinks in her chest when the redhead stands up and looks away.
"I'm sorry." It's her turn to say it. Even though she doesn't mean it. Well, she wasn't supposed to mean it. It feels like hours before Chloe turns back to face her. She looks sad and Beca knows where this is going.
"You don't have to say anything. I shouldn't just kiss you like that. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking... I'll leave you alone." She stands up, stopping momentarily to look at the sad girl before walking away.
One... two... three...
"Beca, wait!" Oh thank God.
"Hm?"
"Don't be."
"What?"
Chloe walks up to her.
"Don't be sorry. Beca, I punched him in the face. Right after you left." She lifts up her fist, her knuckles a bit bloody. "I punched him because he wouldn't let me go after you."
Beca's eyes widen at that.
"Holy shit."
"You were right. He's not a friend. I hate him."
"But then why did you kiss him?"
"Honestly? I didn't know he would kiss me. But when he did, I thought of you. And then I thought of Jesse. And I knew you were watching so... I didn't stop. I wanted you to know how it felt. And I am so sorry for doing that to you."
If anything, Beca is even more confused now. What is Chloe saying?
"Wait, are you... jealous? Of Jesse?"
"Damn it, Beca! He's always there. Always! And I know you say he's just a friend but Jesus, when does it end? He is absolutely in love with you and seeing that every day and not being able to do anything about it makes me so, so angry."
"So you're saying you want to spend more time with me than Jesse does? Or?"
"No. I'm saying I want to wipe that grin off of his face. I want him to know he'll never have you."
"Hm... and why is that?"
"Because you're mine. You're mine, okay? I'm not taking no for an answer."
There's no going back now. Beca can't screw this up. Tell her you love her, idiot! Now! She opens her mouth to speak...
"I've never been more attracted to you."
Baby take me for a ride
Maybe get a little high
In a place we've never been
Time is nothing but a line
We leave everything behind
It'd be so wonderful, wonderful
Looking for something crazy
Beautiful love and nothing now
I'm talking in circles again
Have my love, baby
Are you hungry for wonderful
'Cause I am, wonderful 'cause I am