AN: I don't know where I came up with these… It must have been the boring torture of having to be cooped up in the living room with my dad and watching "Bridge on the River Kwai" as some bizarre source of "family entertainment"… Anyway, these all popped into my head and I decided to type them up for my good friend Kyree, who has an incurable case of HP obsession. J
Disclaimer: These are all book and movie titles, yadda yadda-hoo, and all da HP characters belong to JK Rowling…
Harry Potter and the Titles of DOOM!!! (bwahahahagh!)
~Rice (Fred Weasley)
Pottership Down
Summary: Harry Potter takes one trip too many into the Forbidden Forest and is bitten by Lupin the werebunny! You can guess what happens next…
"Blast-Ended Spiderman"
Summary: An almost ordinary young wizard named Harry is blasted by a blast-ended skrewt and becomes the very stupid-looking opposite of a superhero! "Explosive and action-packed!" says the Ballstreet Journal! Rated "R" for "RETARDED!"
Potter Pan
Summary: Harry and Hermione alope to FeatherFeatherLand on Harry's firebolt. "Deeply moving!" says The New York Crimes!
"Planet of the Snapes" (OMG, where do I come up with this?)
Summary: Due to a freak potions class accident, Harry and the gang are sent to an island deep in the heart of another dimension! Upon encountering the greasy-haired creatures that inhabit the island, the team finds out that they can lose more house points than they ever thought possible! Rated "D" for "DEEPLY DISTURBING!!!"
Little House on the Quidditch Field
Summary: A touching classic about a hobo-hermit named Harry and his routine life of having his house daily knocked down by bludgers. "*sigh…* It's so sad!" says Whoopi Goldberg (what was she doing reading that?!)
Snapenstein
Summary: Harry's potions teacher LIIIIIIIVES!!!
"Sirius-ly Blonde"
Summary: Sirius Black dyes his hair, becomes a gay lawyer, and sues Reiss Lupinspoon! "Dude, I think Sirius is hott," says an anonymous guy who lives on a parkbench! Rated "P" for "PERVERTED!"
The Snapes of Wrath
Summary: You DON'T wanna know!!!
"The Slutty Professor"
Summary: Professor McGonagall decides to become a British Britney Spears! Rated "O" for "OLD MEN 80 OR OVER ONLY!!!"
"Paulie-Juice Potion"
Summary: Everyone at Hogwarts is turned into parrots!!! "AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!" says the Ballstreet Journal! Rated "P" for "PARROTLICIOUS!!!"