Day to Day Idiocies
Summary
Ulquiorra was a patient Arrancar, dutiful and doubtless in his purpose to serve the great Lord Aizen. So when the Cuatro has to deal with the severe lack of intelligence from his fellows who share this common goal he is sorely reminded that he can't simply kill them. Sadly.
Chapter one
Tea-ching Grimmjow
If anyone asked Ulquiorra what he thought of the Sexta some hour ago, he'd had called the Panther Arrancar brash, stubborn to a fault and entirely too disrespectful when Lord Aizen wasn't around to cow his sense of ridiculous pride that should have been abandoned in the grander scale of serving his new Lord. But, Ulquiorra supposed that some "personality issues" would arise with so diverse a gathering of the ten most powerful Arrancar gathered by said Lord.
But now? Ulquiorra was sure that "completely lacking in anything resembling tact" was now among those listed qualities about the Sexta. Because frankly it was far too early in his existence to be bothered by the stained air that had been sent forth from the panther's crass lips. So surprised was he that for a rare occurance, one of which had happened only, ironically, three times before to make this number four, he was lost for words and so settled on a one.
"Pardon?"
Grmmjow only added to this ever stranger conversation by looking at the Cuatro like he was the one dealing with a mental invalid. "I asked if you know what sorta' damn tea Neliel likes, dumbass." He repeated for the "sake" of Ulquiorra.
Dumbass. How apt. Ulquiorra thought with a dryness that would parch the sands of Hueco Mundo itself. "I see," The same dryness, the same disinterested gaze and the very same thoughts running through the mind of the Cuatro as he considered how best he wanted to end this conversation that didn't involve robbing Lord Aizen's Espada of a number. "And why, Sexta, do you believe I know what she tea she likes?"
The Sexta, for his part, didn't even look a touch doubtful in his misguided convictions that Ulquiorra apparently had the answers he sought. "Because you're smart, and I've seen you making tea in the kitchens whenever Aizen," Grimmjow would never know how close Ulquiorra had come to punching him in the solar plexus for the disrespectful lack of "lord" there. "Asks for some. You make it, you know tea. So you gotta know somethin' about what Neliel likes."
It wasn't entirely flawed reasoning, Ulquiorra could admit that he could see how the Sexta had come to it, after all, Aizen demanded that he knowledgeable and Ulquiorra took such a duty to heart and soul that he woould read extensively on materials that hadn't even been outlined by their Lord, and thus, if Lord Aizen required something it would often his first pick to send Ulquiorra to acquire it.
The Cuatro in turn would never allow himself to admit that his apathy was briefly broken by pride.
But on the current matter he couldn't begin to try and wonder how Grimmjow assumed that because he made tea and acted as a full time butler to Lord Aizen that he would know what tastes their senior Tres had was based entiely on the simple fact that Ulquiorra had experience with tea. And apparently inherited all tea related knowledge and question.
Tea-ch support, some witty pun maker could say. Ulquiorra however would call it utter foolishness.
"Can you not ask her yourself as to her tastes, Sexta?" The pale Arrancar questioned flatly.
"And look like a stalkin' creep? Hell no!"
Ulquiorra blinked. "And going behind her back and gathering intelligence as to her favored tea flavors is not a manner of stalking?"
That shut up Grimmjow so fast Ulquiorra almost berated himself for somehow not saying something of the sort earlier. Even now he could almost hear the gears in the Sexta's head grinding to a bitter halt as the sheer logic of the situation he was hoping to avoid and in turn had happened anyway crashed into him, then left him entirely speechless in it's wake.
The silence, Ulquiorra would admit, was sublime.
"Shit." Grmmjow hissed. Ulquiorra didn't respond, not that he needed to because the blue haired Arrancar went on anyways. "Fuckin' shit."
Interesting mental image aside. "Indeed, But if it aids you," And in turn gets the panther out of his presence faster. "Go to the kitchens find the container marked "Earl Grey", beside it should be the various Teas that we have access to. It should prove a good place to start." Ulquiorra didn't bother adding that if there were multiple flavors then he might be a touch troubled, but then, with how enlightened Grimmjow's expression became, the panther was satisfied all the same.
"Right, I'll do that!" Without even a "Thank you", or parting, Grimmjow turned and rushed off towards the kitchens of Los Noches.
And once alone, Ulquorra allowed a small curl to appear at the corner of his lips as the only sign of the small bit of mirth he felt bubbling in his otherwise apathetic being. Why? Well that was simple.
He hadn't bothered to inform Grimmjow that the larger container marked "Earl Grey" was Neliel's favorite tea flavor. How did Ulquiorra know? That too was simple.
She'd threatened him with a glare when he asked how the tea tasted and if Lord Aizen would like it. Her defensiveness spoke volumes of her like for the flavor. But really...
Grimmjow need not know that this very instant.
The Cuatro turned on his heel and proceeded along the hallways of Los Noches' inner chambers uncarring even as he passed the lounge area where the Tres Espada sat, nursing a cup of her favored flavor of tea, and upon seeing him, she pulled the cup from her face where she'd been basking in it's steaming scent to offer him a polite greeting.
"Cifer."
Of all the Espada, only Lord Aizen, Neliel and Starrk bothered to address him formally with his name. Lord Aizen always received the highest respect, of course. And Starrk as the Primera, received it as well. Neliel on the other hand received it because she was simply one of the more pleasant Espada to be around.
"Oderschvank." He walked past her place on one of the many seats by the entertainment center and found his preferred one in the corner.
No further conversation taking place or being needed, Neliel went back to happily enjoying her tea and Ulquiorra sat in satisfied silence that he'd inconvenienced Grimmjow without a single hint of a lie.
Just another idiocy in his day to day life as the Cuatro, really.
End of chapter one!
Now, this isn't some updated on a schedule story that I will post up a new chapter for every other day, this is purely to fulfill my current need to write something related to my second fav Espada, my first being Grimmjow, and this seemed a good thing to start off with. And yes, I do ship Nel and ol' Grimmy. Sue me! That said. Hope it was a fun little read for you folks.
Your thoughts, suggestions and such can be put into a review! Adios!