Black clouds rolled in, the sky once blue now became dark as the sun was shrouded. Against the trunk of the massive oak tree that grew in the middle of the garden, I sat reading. Mother had bought a book for me to read, telling me reading and writing was the most important in this world. In order to survive. I read the lines, my ten-year-old mind able to read with words without hesitation.

My two little siblings, Azariah and Devyn who were both nine years old, sat beside me. Their heads peering over my arms as they listened to me speak. Azariah looked up at me, hazel eyes were wide and fearful, her mess of light grey locks wild. "Big sis… ta." She struggled a little to speak, "We should go into the house." She pointed to the little hut nestled between trees, smoke coming from the chimney.

"Of course, Mother would be mad if we stayed out here," I replied with a grin. I picked up Devyn, he could not walk properly or for long, and he was much lighter than an average eight-year-old boy. He hummed softly; murmuring incoherent words as he admired the little wooden doll Father had carved for him.

Azariah took off, squealing and laughing as she bounded through the grass, her too small silver wings flapping as her little feet thundered up the wooden veranda and into the house. Devyn looked up at me, his dark purple eyes held a thoughtful glint as if he knew the world and its secrets. "Will you… Keep me safe?" He asked, a wind picked up now, his dark brown hair whipping a little. "Of course, Devyn. Forever and ever." I kissed his forehead.

Once inside the little hut, smells of spices and herbs filled my nostrils and my mouth watered a little. It was an open plan house, except for two doors that lead into Mother and Father's room and my room who I shared it with my siblings. The walls were full of little paintings, handprints, and carvings. The hut was our canvas, a place of peace and love. Nothing could get in here, nothing at all.

Mother stood before the hearth, stirring something in the three pots that hung over hot coals. Her waist length hair, dark ash like the clouds outside, was loose and had flowers woven in. Her plain gown hugged her spindly form; I could see two lumps between her shoulder blades. But she was nonetheless beautiful. Mother turned, her grin spread across her oval face as I set Devyn down on his chair at the table.

"Dinner will soon be served." She simply stated, staring directly at me. "When will Father return?" I ask as I helped Mother, cutting some vegetables. "He will return shortly, he had to go collect some wood and…" She trailed off just as the sound of wings could be heard then a light thud outside. The wood creaked and moaned as Father walked into the kitchen, holding three rabbits and some wood. His hair was of caramel, his skin dark and scarred. His large wings which resembled like a bat, dripped from the rain.

"Father!" I beamed, he set the items down before he caught me in his arms, his laugh was booming. "Vivie." He murmured into my silver hair, stroking it slowly. "I am glad you are home," I whined as he set me down and patted my head. "I was only gone for a few hours." He grinned and pinched my cheek before he made his way to Mother. She looked so relieved and joyful as he picked her up and kissed her. "Ew!" I could hear Azariah make gagging sounds from where she sat on the couch.

So happy, so happy they looked. So content in each other's arms. They loved each other so much. Nothing could break them apart. Nothing.

But war was war.

The storm had raged on outside, lightning cracking the sky in a bright white light. The rain was relentless as it came down in heavy pelts. The wind howled and moaned a ghostly song, I stayed huddled in my bed my wings cocooning my siblings and me.

War was cruel.

I could hear Mother and Father speaking in the kitchen, the shadows I learned to control picked up their solemn voices. "How can you be so sure?" Mother asked. "I am sure. There is nothing around that shows we have been spotted." Father replied, he was so sure yet he was so wrong. "If they find us-" He cut her off. "They will not. I promise." That promise was not true.

War was evil.

Another crack and the room was filled with blinding light until I found myself on the ground, my gown ripped and my skin was torn and bleeding. I was no longer on my bed, but on the ground amongst rubble. Lightning continued to flash across the sky, illuminating my surroundings.

War was merciless.

Only pain and ice was within me, no warmth, no love, no joy, as I dragged my beaten body across glass and splinters of wood. To the sight, I had spotted.

War took lives.

There, in the middle of the now destroyed hut, lay my Father. His body inert. I now knelt beside him, I will never, ever, forget what I saw. His skin was shredded, his insides spilt around, his limbs twisted in ways I didn't think would go. And those wings… Beautiful, powerful wings… Only the boning of it remained.

And what made it worse was the pillar above him, staked and skinned, was my Mother. Her eyes were nothing but black pits, her mouth open in a silent scream. I did not know what to do, so I cried… I cried… I cried.

War was not kind.

The only thing that stopped my sobs was the feeling of someone behind me. I pulled my bloodied hands away from my face as a hand gripped my shoulder and turned me around. A figure of nothing but blackness stood there, a feral smile that stretched right across its face. Six, glowing red eyes gazed at me. I knew it and it knew me.

"Hello, princess." Its voice was not of this world, nor was it. And I did not fight, when it lunged for me in a scream that sounded like a million voices.

I bolted upright, screaming and thrashing. My throat was raw and dry, only a hoarse cry came from me. Someone was trying to grab me, trying to pin me trying - I lashed out, a man's voice cried out as I hurled magic at him.

There was a thud and then a hiss. I hissed right back as I blindingly looked around, going on all fours. "Show yourself," I growled, baring my teeth as I heard footsteps going around and behind me. I felt hands on my ankles and kicked wildly, wanting those hands off me. "Stop it!" The unknown male cried as I was tackled down onto a soft surface.

"Viviana, stop it!" I knew that voice but I couldn't stop trying to fight him. "No! No, let me go, you monster!" I begged, wiggling around beneath that powerful body. "Snap out of it, it's me! It's Nate!" He kept crying out.

Nate. Nate. Nate. His name chanted in my mind, the darkness in my mind struggled to stay but it eventually works, it dissipating. Until I could see again. Wide, blue-green eyes looked down at me, there was a long scratch that came from his cheekbone down to his neck. It was bleeding. That lovely tanned skin was bleeding. And I had caused it.

The green light came from the siphons on the back of his hands, it covered my hands, which had blood. I breathed hard and again panic set in me. "Get off me," I growled, narrowing my eyes at him. "No. Not until you calm down." He replied, keeping my shoulders pinned to the bed. "Get. Off. Me." I demanded and using my legs, I kicked him off.

Nate stumbled backwards as I scrambled away from him, shadows coiling around my arms and making a shield before me. My body shuddered as I gripped the bed sheets, so tightly I ripped them from my extended nails. "Just calm down, please," Nate said softly, not moving closer to me, which was a smart idea. Though I took his advice and recollected my muddled thoughts, reaching up to grip the twin wings pendant.

And that instantly calmed me. The shadow shield went down and disappeared, and my breathing was back to normal. The bed shifted until his hands gently cupped my face; Nate pushed back my matted hair slowly running his fingers through the silver strands. I met his eyes again; they were full of worry, his brows knitted. His dark, chocolate hair was a mess, sticking out this way and that way. The way he looked now, made him seem younger than thirty-four, the elegant lines of his face softened.

I kept staring at what I did to him, reaching out and touching the skin. Slowly, it sealed until only blood remained. "I'm sorry," I whispered as he pulled me into his arms, my face burying into his leathers. "It's okay. Shh…" He whispered, letting me cry silently. "It was just a dream, it wasn't real." He reminded me.

'Just a dream, just a dream… It's all over now.' I repeated in my head until I stopped crying and pulled away. I rubbed my eyes as I looked over to my left, the heavy drapes were pulled back to allow the morning sun in. "I'll go get you some water." Nate kissed my forehead before he left the room.

I got off the large canopy bed, made to fit two sets of wings. The covers, which were in different shades of greens, were a mess and were kicked off completely. A low sigh escaped me as I hastily pulled them back over and fixed the bed before I tiredly made my way to my large armoire. The wooden floors were cold against my bare feet, I needed to put in more carpets, I thought idly to myself.

My room was not all so fancy; a single bookshelf beside the armoire was loosely filled with books and wooden carvings I did. On the other side of my room, there was a large fireplace, more wooden carvings sat along the mantle. A low table, two single plush chairs and one two seaters was situated in front of the fireplace.

My collection of gowns was simple, plain almost. I did not own a single expensive thing; everything was made of wool or linen. As much as my friends wanted to buy me new things, I always refused. I did not wish to waste their money on someone like me.

I pulled out fresh undergarments and slipped them on before I pulled on a white linen gown. On top of that, I wore a deep purple woollen gown with long open sleeves and had buttons coming down from my throat and stopped just below my rib cage. I was glad that Nate had returned, so he could help with the buttons on my back, where my huge wings were. The black tips of my wings dragged behind me.

He came over and silently did them up and slipped on my shoes. He brushed off some sparkles that dripped from my wings then sighed, as it did not come off his hands. "You can wash it off." I turned to face him. Nate was a tall male, his body muscular and lean over centuries of being in the Illyrian camps. His membranous wings had light scars that peppered them. I never stared at them for long, for the fear of unwanted memories.

"Still, it's a bother." I rolled my eyes as I took a drink of water before I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. We stayed like this for a while, before Nate spoke first. "It was hard to wake you up again." I looked up at him. "I could feel you shaking and when I turned to see you… Your body was covered in shadows. I couldn't get close or even touch you." His voice was low, anxious even.

I took his hands from my waist and held them to my chest, lacing my fingers in his. "Silvy…" His nickname for me. I looked away before I let go of his hands and walked to my dresser, picking up the comb and running it through my hair, being careful of the long feathers that grew. "You know what this means." Nate urged, standing beside me. I looked at him through the mirror.

"It's a no," I said simply setting the coral coloured comb down before I braided my hair and twisting it up into a low bun. I inserted a few pins to hold it in place. I stared at my own reflection.

It was more of a shock to see how pale my skin had become, how rough and ragged my face had become. My cheeks were shallow, the rosiness I had was gone and my freckles that covered my nose and cheeks had faded. The elegant lines of my face became sharper; my plump lips a fine line. My eyes, which always struck people by the shifting colours, were dimmed, washed out almost. Dark circles lined under my eyes. Even my generous curves and fullness had somewhat narrowed down.

"You don't even look like yourself. It's draining you." Nate gripped my shoulder, turning me slowly so he could look at me again. "Azriel can help you tame it, let you regain control. You've forgotten what to do, it's been-"

"I know how long it's been, Nate." I snapped. "But I have no time to mull over it. I need to go and help Devyn." I walked past him but he grabbed my arm, yanking me back and pressing me against the dresser. "Brea has already done it. Don't walk away from me." He growled. I instantly locked up, shrinking down, "Nate, please. I just need to get out of my room. I need air." I held his intense gaze before he stepped back. "Breakfast will be held outside." He told me. I only nodded as I exited my room and into the hallway outside.

The walls were a tawny colour, the dark floorboards bringing it out. Faelights were placed at equal intervals, enough to make the hallways bright enough. Paintings hung between each space, and sometimes windows. My room was in the east wing of the house, almost at the end of the hallway. I passed doors that lead to spare rooms or occupied rooms. I passed a few servants, bidding them good morning as I finally came to the foyer; I let my fingers run along the white wooden balustrade before I descended the extravagant staircase from the right side.

The foyer had a large dome made out of glass, with a huge crystal chandelier. The sunlight hit the crystals, and it reflected many colours along the sand coloured marble floor. There was a medium sized waiting room just behind me, but no one was sitting on the couches there.

Turning away I headed to where glass doors lined the back entrance of the foyer, it lead out to the gardens. I pushed open the doors and walked down a few stairs before coming to the pebbled pathways that weaved among the rose hedges, leading to other little spots in the gardens.

I turned to the west side; a massive gazebo was shrouded in star jasmines, the white flowers swaying a little in the cool breeze. It was mid-autumn, and most of the trees that lined the very edge of the gardens were bare. Though, some flowering bushes continued to bloom, magic kept them like so.

Walking up the few stairs, a table full of steaming food greeted me. My mouth watered as I gawked at it all. "You are welcome to take some." I jumped at a females voice behind me. She was of average height, earthy coloured skin that stood out from her multi-shade blue hair. Her eyes were spring green and glittered with mischief. Her attire this morning made me feel cold, she wore a halter neck top that exposed her midriff and her bare arms, and a high waisted, pants that flared out. It matched the colour of her hair.

"I know, Nishka. I am always so amazed by how good it looks." I hugged my friend, before she pushed me to a seat and pointed at my plate. "Yes, yes, now eat. You look like shit." She didn't hesitate to speak her mind; she was very outgoing and didn't care what others thought of her.

I filled my plate with the various foods before I dug in. Just then, my siblings made an appearance, followed by Aida who was helping Devyn. I quickly stood but she waved me to sit down. I pursed my lips, feeling guilt rise in me. Aida always aided me with Devyn, followed by Brea who usually looked after them.

Azariah, who scowled at me sat across from me, wore her favourite yellow dress. It had little orange flowers sewn at the waist and stood out. "Good morning." I said to her, smiling at her. "Morning." She replied as Aida helped Devyn beside her, setting his walking stick beside him. He wore just a simple mahogany tunic with a long sleeved shirt underneath. Devyn smiled at me, but didn't say anything as he helped himself with the food.

Aida fixed her eyes on me; one was brown while the other was green. Her skin was always tanned, I always wondered if it was just a genetic thing that Spring Court residents had. Her hair was in loose golden strands, stopping at mid-back. She took a seat beside me, she wore a simple gown made of thick green velvet, the neckline had cut right across and the sleeves sat just off the shoulders and came to her wrists. A white chiffon shawl wrapped around her shoulders to finish it off. "How are you feeling?" She asked me, she noticed my crappy state as well. "I'm okay. Just tired." I replied as I went back to eating.

"I saw Nate rush into the kitchen this morning, he looked a bit beat up." Nishka spoke up from her spot down the table. "Probably because he was fucking Viviana again." Azariah muttered and I dropped my fork. She met my glare, shrugging casually, "What? It's the truth. You two are always at it." She said apathetically.

"Azariah! Don't say that." Aida gasped, looking appalled. She rolled her eyes, "Everyone swears. You can't keep me in the dark forever." Azariah was eighteen and was a big troublemaker and tended to do the opposite of what was asked. Devyn was the same age but a year younger than me; his head was always tucked in a book and usually kept to himself.

"It does not matter, you don't need to speak you your sister like that." Aida sternly said, holding the stubborn gaze of Azariah. "Whatever." She replied as she ate, muttering something under her breath.

Aida sighed softly and gave me an apologetic smile. In silence we ate, all lost in our thoughts. The sound of crunching could be heard then Nate sat beside me, kissing my cheek softly. "Morning, Nate!" Azariah beamed, she liked Nate even though she disliked it that he was with me. "Morning, Az. Devyn." He shook hands with my brother.

A tall male had followed after Nate. His near-white hair stood out against that dark mahogany skin, as well as his sea-foam coloured eyes. The planes of his face were soft, baby-like, but still nonetheless downright gorgeous. The attire he chose today was a light blue tunic with a white undershirt. The tunic had peach embellishments along the edgings, in shapes of waves. "Hello, everyone." He smiled ever so kindly; his eyes hovered over Nishka for a while as she expressed a shy smile. "Morning, Rahuel." Nishka giggled softly, both of them came from the Summer Court.

His eyes rested on me finally, I sensed the question that was forming on his lips, so I said, "And before you ask, yes I am fine. Don't worry too much." Rahuel closed his mouth and a low laugh came from him. "Of course." He nodded, giving Nate a quick look before he filled his plate.

I felt it before they appeared beside Devyn, the icy darkness that rolled over me and stirred my shadows awake. Two males took shape in the seats, looking exactly the same in facial features and clothing. Only one had pale green eyes, his skin the colour of moonlight and seemed to have trapped the light beneath the shimmering skin. His hair was brown near to black and was short cropped. He smiled, exposing needle-like teeth, "Everyone looks cheery today." Ereus mused looking over at the other. He had the same skin; his eyes were a darker shade of green and his hair completely black. "Yes, I agree, brother." Vhen smirked as he fixed the navy blue jacket he wore; beneath it was a velvet vest then a black shirt. Both brothers had an air of cunning and always looked up to no good. They were part of the Night Court; they left the Court of Nightmares for unknown reasons.

Vhen, with his cat-like eyes, seemed to bore into me, his smirk faltering a little. "You seem to be nervous, little bird." He always called me by that title, nothing else. "Just had a rough night." I replied, he cocked his head to the side, his brother freakishly mimicking it. "I can tell." Ereus said. They both shared one mind, always knowing when to speak and act. "Where is Brea and Raella?" Vhen asked, not taking any food. They had a strange diet that consisted of blood and other materials that they ate privately.

"Brea had left early this morning to collect some shipment that came in, and Raella is still asleep. She returned from a club like an hour ago." Nishka replied, making a face. "That's pretty standard for Raella." Vhen said sharply, somewhat looking annoyed. "I'm surprised she didn't bring someone home again." Ereus raised an eyebrow.

"Rare but I'm glad." Vhen muttered then realised something, "Ah, before I forget. Feyre will be having a party, her birthday is coming up and I was told that we are invited."

"Ooh! She has not had a party for a while, I wonder what changed her mind." Nishka mused. "Who knows, but apparently invitations are being handed out lately." Vhen continued. "It'll be at the House of Wind."

I had been to the House of Wind; it overlooked the beautiful city of Velaris. Our home. Still to this day, I was eternally grateful for Rhysand allowing me to live here, to make it my safe haven after the War with Hybern had ended about half a century ago. Velaris was still recovering but the love and happiness stayed strong, the Fae still continued on, never skipping a beat. Buildings had been destroyed but the residents here turned them into shrines to honour the dead and the bravery of others that fought in the War.

It's what drew me to this colourful city. The determination of the people. How they were all so selfless and never seemed to let the horrors affect them. Rhysand and Feyre had rebuilt this city, using all might, passions and determination to make this city great once again. And those actions brought a communing amongst the Fae, both High and Lesser Fae. Even the mortals as well. Some mortals still lived in fear, but that was only a small percentage. The rest had come to understand and welcome the Fae.

Looking around, I found myself sitting in silence. Everyone looked content and relaxed, enjoying the peaceful sounds of the waking city. I could hear distant voices, too far for my normal fae hearing. Only because of my shadows picking it up. I still remembered in some ways to use them to my advantage, Father had taught me briefly. But I knew, deep down, I could do more than just 'hear' and 'feel'. And that side usually became extremely hard to tame.

"Stop." I did, holding the fork to my lips, looking up and staring at Azariah. "What?" I asked, confused at her demand. "Stop eating?" She narrowed her eyes, her hazel eyes glinting with disgust. "Don't play stupid." She spat.

"Hey, calm down." Nate gently said, his hand instinctively going on my thigh. "No. I am sick of Viviana having those stupid shadows around her. Stop trying to show off." I set the fork down; my shadows twitched as light anger flared within me. "I'm not showing off, Az. It just happens." I placed my hand over Nate's, my hand was shaking.

It was the power that coursed through me, through my blood. Whenever I was threatened, angered or scared, it's spike up and start to 'protect' me in a way. But sometimes, it wasn't necessary and always caused trouble. Especially if I didn't have a good grip on it.

Azariah held my gaze, reflecting my own anger. And sadness. Deep sadness swelled in her. I felt for her, I really did. But her stubborn self always proved difficult to tame. Devyn had sunk down into the chair, his eyes darting between his sister and me.

"Sure. It happens. Your excuse for all the crap that has happened." I stood up, the chair being thrown back as I stared down at my sister. She never broke a sweat. "You and your special powers. Oooh, look at me, I'm Viviana! I'm so strong and powerful, look I can manipulate shadows. Wow!" She was edging me closer, that familiar cool darkness sweeping over me as it began to cloud my thoughts.

Nate stood up quickly, as well as the rest of the group. Devyn had made a good choice in backing away, Aida coming to his side to help him. "Azariah, enough. You have no right to-"

"Oh shut up you Illyrian bastard." She snapped at Nate, clearly taken aback at her remark. "I've had enough of you and her, both of you are disgusting. Whenever I enter a room you're either kneeling before her or she has her hand shoved down your pants. Why don't you just take her away, huh?" Nate glared at Azariah, but she still did not back down. "Take her to your camp where you can fuck her all night long."

Nate slammed his hand on the table, the plates shuddering and a few goblets toppled over. Aida was trying to pull Azariah back but she snatched her arm away, hissing at her. "You watch your tongue, girl." Nate… Nate only used that tone when he was seriously pissed. Those siphons flickered.

"And what are you going to do about it? Hm? Hit me? Smack me around a little? Go on, I dare you." He did not move or raised a hand; he knew very well if he did strike my sister I'd kill him.

"Come on! Hit me-"

"ENOUGH!" I screamed, tears brimming my eyes as I honestly felt like exploding. Azariah whirled to me, her eyes blazing. "And what are you going to do, huh? You don't fucking do anything for us, so why should I listen to you?"

"What are you saying?" I snapped. "I've kept you and Devyn alive during the War. I spent most of my money that I saved up to keep you happy. What more do you want?"

"What I want? I want someone to actually give a shit, to be concerned for my wellbeing." Azariah spat maliciously, her hands balled up. "So all those years of me breaking my legs to keep you alive wasn't enough? Azariah I do give a shit! I do care! I care so damn much that I put you two first! I always have!" I cried, tears running down my cheeks.

Nate place his hand on my shoulder, I only shrugged him off. "You will never understand the hell I had to go through. Never." I said all to quietly, wrath leaking from me, my body shaking now. "Alright. Stop. No more." Nate made a gesture for Azariah to go and she did, throwing her napkin on the table as she stormed off.

Devyn grabbed his walking stick and hobbled after her, Aida following him. I sunk back into my chair, hunching over as I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. That delicate wall I had built over the years, cracked at the edges. But not enough to shatter it completely.

Nishka and Rahuel had left, leaving us alone, Vhen and Ereus simply disappearing in misty darkness. I felt Nate tug me into his lap and so I moved, wrapping my arms around his neck as I buried my face into him. "Shh, Silvy… Shh…" He gently soothed me, stroking my hair. "Come, let's go to your room, okay?" I gave a slight nod as he swept me up in his arms, being extra careful with my wings. I kept my head tucked into his neck, the tears had stopped coming and now nothingness settled in my gut.

Absolutely nothing.

Azariah always started this, always blaming me for the shitty life she and Devyn had to endure. No matter what I did, it never satisfied her. I didn't know if admitting to it would help it. I guessed not.

The rest of the day I spent in my room, the gardens or the waiting room that was more like a mini library. Nate had tended to me, and then went off to do some business in the city before coming back to me.

I did not attend dinner that night; I stayed in my room in bed with Nate cuddling me. He tried to cheer me up, but it didn't work. My day had started horrible and would end horribly.

Another fitful and horror filled night wracked my tired mind.