A/N My frustration with Rachel's choices in season 2 and 3 have finally reached the point where I even dream about it. I woke up in the middle of the night and jotted this story down. I'm beginning to think that Pod-person Rachel just isn't worth Jesse's time. I hope her Dads use reverse psychology on Rachel to make her see some sense. But ideally I'd like Jesse to be the one to get through to her, and hence this story. Does he reach her? I'll leave that up to you to decide.
JESSE'S GIRL
Rachel was exhausted. Who knew looking at wedding dresses and lingerie could be so tiring? It was too bad Kurt and Mercedes had to cancel out at the last moment and so they'd been unable to accompany her. That flu bug had certainly hit them both very quickly. Still, Rachel consoled herself, they could come back next weekend with her and she'd show them her favorite five and they'd help her make the final choice.
After placing her order for a soya latte, Rachel turned her attention to the people around her. People watching was always fun, she liked to create stories about them. It was then that she saw HIM, right in the line next to hers. "Jesse, what are you doing here?" As the words escaped from her mouth she mentally kicked herself. Why did she always find herself saying that to him?
He turned towards her, his gaze raking her from head to toe in a calm deliberate manner before he replied "I'm sorry. Do I know you?"
Rachel gaped at him in bewilderment. "Don't be silly, of course you know me! It's me, Rachel."
"Rachel?" Jesse frowned and stared at her again as if trying to recollect where he'd seen her before.
It was beginning to freak Rachel out. She looked at him closely. No, she hadn't made a mistake. It was definitely Jesse not some doppelganger. His hair was shorter then when she'd last seen him in New York but the rebellious curls were still trying to free themselves. As usual he was dressed all in black and wearing his favorite black leather jacket-the one he used to drape around her shoulders when she showed the least sign of being chilly. For a moment the memory of the smell of the leather combined with Jesse's scent rose to the surface of her mind and a wave of longing hit her. She forced herself to dismiss it. She was Rachel Berry, soon to be Rachel Hudson, no longer was she Jesse's girl.
But just what was wrong with Jesse? Had he had an accident and lost his memory? She collected her latte then moved closer to Jesse and asked hesitantly, "Did something happen to your memory? I'm Rachel. Rachel Berry. We used to date and we went to my junior prom last year with Sam and Mercedes. Then you helped our show choir prepare for Nationals."
"Yes, I knew a Rachel Berry." Jesse said, his melodic voice threaded with sadness. "The Rachel Berry I knew and fell in love with was smart and talented and beautiful. She was driven by her dreams and goals; she knew exactly what she wanted out of life and how to obtain it. But then she disappeared."
"Don't be silly! I didn't disappear! I'm right here, Jesse!" Rachel reached out and placed her hand on the sleeve of his jacket.
Jesse coolly surveyed her for a moment before replying. "I admit you resemble her, but no, you aren't Rachel." At that his voice changed and angry disdain flared in his blue eyes. "You see the Rachel I knew wouldn't have applied to only one Performing Arts College. She would have had applications completed and mailed out months ago to at least five. She wouldn't have jeopardized her school record by doing something as silly as over stuffing ballot boxes, nor would she have allowed herself to be so sidetracked by other people's dreams as to end up in the audience at Sectionals instead of performing center stage where she belonged. She wouldn't have let adolescent emotions so overrule her intelligence that she'd agree to marry before she had at least one starring role on Broadway if not a Tony. And she certainly wouldn't, at the age of seventeen, agree to attach herself for life to someone who has no future plans, no money, and who needs his self-esteem constantly propped up to the detriment of her own.
The Rachel I knew would be practicing every spare moment for choir competition! She'd be making lists of everything needed to win Nationals and for a move to New York after graduating. She'd be honing her talent until it was as polished and deadly as sharp gleaming dagger." The anger and disdain in his voice suddenly disappeared as quickly as it had come and when he spoke again it was with regret. "So you see, you cannot possibly be the Rachel I admired and fell in love with. That Rachel is gone and it's an immense tragedy, because that Rachel really could have had it all." At that Jesse calmly removed her hand from his sleeve and picking up the tray of coffees that had just appeared before him, turned without another word and walked away.
Numb with shock at his words, Rachel watched as Jesse made his way over to a table by the window. He sat down and placed his arm in casual familiarity around the dark haired girl seated next to him. A girl that, Rachel realized, looked all too familiar. One who was very talented and ambitious. A girl named Harmony. Rachel stood in quiet misery for a few minutes, eyes brimming with tears but unable to wrench her gaze away from the two of them, as she remembered what it had been like to be Jesse's girl. Slowly she turned and made her way to the door. She glanced back one last time before going out into the street, but Jesse never looked up at her, not even once, why would he? His Rachel no longer existed.