AN: While writing something else I was listening to some songs and this popped into my head. The first hetero relationship I write on here and I still manage to make it horrible. First attempt at Stiles/Lydia. I'm not sure if I'm proud of this or not yet but hey, when don't I write some angst right? I'll play around with a fluffier Stiles/Lydia plot line next time I write it, if I do.
Also, title's subject to change.
Warning: Abuse.
Summary: He loved her, they all knew that, they all saw that. He actually loved her and she thought he'd be a change from her normal boyfriends. She was right, he was but that doesn't mean he was right for her, he was even worse for her.
She never thinks to give him a chance when everything first happens, doesn't give him a second glance before that so why should she after that. She was well aware of his crush on her, she had been when it started. He doesn't hide it, in fact, he's quite blunt about it. She's sure most people know he has a crush on her but he never gets a second glance from her until all these weird things start to happen when Allison moves into town. Then she gets to know him but she doesn't think to give him a chance. At the time it all starts happening she's with Jackson. And when Jackson leaves she doesn't think of dating Stiles because he's not her type. Things just seem to get more and more hectic after that and they're there for each other, he's important to her. They get closer. And he's nice to her, he's different from everyone else she's dated or been with. He's so different from them, he's kind and he sees past the pretty face and short skirt the rest always seem to think she is. He sees her inside beauty more than just the outside beauty. It takes a while and some convincing from Allison before she finally decides to pursue Stiles because he loved her. They all knew that, she knew that. She saw that and she needed a change from the guys she usually dated. The jerks with a soft side. Stiles was a sweet guy and she wishes she knew that meant he'd have a jerk side.
It doesn't come out right away. It doesn't come out at all during the first three months they're trying this...thing. She doesn't call it a relationship because it's not. Not really. She sees Stiles more than her mom and some days more than she sees Allison, who's off with Issac a lot more now. Stiles is nice to her, doesn't push her into things and she likes this pace. She's used to a faster pace and it's pretty easy to convince Stiles to sneak off and make-out with her in school and sometimes he even asks first with a small smirk. It's nice to not constantly be dragged somewhere and touched, it's nice to feel loved. To feel appreciated. It's nice to have that person that looks at her like she's the only star in the sky on a dark, dreary night look at her all the time and not duck away or hide the gaze when she looks over to him but instead smile at her and continue admiring her. She doesn't have to pretend in front of him or hide anything. At least not until after their first fight. She was a little shocked on the anger on Stiles face when he comes over but he doesn't look at her, he pulls out his phone and text someone and she can't help but wonder if she's done something in the past few days or if somethings happened prior to his arrival. She's never actually seen Stiles mad, scared and sad, maybe upset with someone but never mad.
"Stiles?" She's hesitant, a little scared. She doesn't know what happened but there's something in her, warning her. "Are you okay?" He looks up at her, eyes slightly narrowed before he stands.
"Did you talk to Aiden today?" She tilts her head and raises a brow.
"Yes, why?"
"Why were you talking with Aiden!?" He asks her and she raises her brows. She doesn't understand. Is he jealous? Why is he jealous? She hadn't done anything. She talked to Aiden for a minute in the hallway. Stiles has no reason to be jealous.
"Can I not talk to Aiden?" She asks, instead of answering the question.
"No, Lydia, not without a reason." Stiles says back looking at her like she's crazy. "Why didn't you tell me you talked to Aiden, clearly it wasn't a big deal so why wouldn't you tell me?"
"I just did." She says, pursing her lips. "And like you said, it's not a big deal so why are you so mad about?"
"I'm not stupid!" He screams at her and she flinches back from it, shock filling her features. "I know you, I know him. I don't trust that combination."
"Are you saying you don't trust me?" She asks back, her own face forming into one of anger and Stiles almost rolls his eyes at that.
"Would you trust you?" He asks and she gapes at him, offended. "You wouldn't. Did you run off with him? Is that why you didn't tell me?"
"Screw you, I wouldn't cheat on you but you know what I damn well should've." She doesn't expect the slap and hits the ground, gripping her cheek and looking up at Stiles who looks down at her horrified. His lips are parted and his eyes are wide and she knows his heart is pounding. He swallows and blinks before kneeling down and grabbing her hand, words falling out of his lips rushed.
"Lydia, oh my God, I didn't mean to. I don't...I...I..I don't know what happened. Oh God, Lydia, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." His fingers are gentle across the red hand print and she stares at him, unsure of what happened. "Oh God," He chokes and she blinks, frowning. "Lydia, I'm so sorry." He removes his hands real fast to rub at his own, tears rolling down his cheeks. His hands tremble against his face and Lydia doesn't know what to say. She stays where she is, blinking at him. Stiles hit her, he hit her.
"Stiles?" Her voice is soft and he just grabs her, holding her and apologizing.
"I'm so sorry, God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I'd never hurt you. Never, Oh God, Lydia. I'm so sorry. Please, please. Lydia, Oh God." He buries his face in her hair and just breathes. All she can do is hug him back and whisper it's okay because she doesn't understand it either.
Neither of them bring it up after that. Stiles lays with her in her bed, ignoring the fading red mark on her cheek and promises it will never happen again, tells her that he didn't know what happened. He's not really talking to her as he rationalizes it to himself, muttering about Scott and Aiden and being tired. She decides that he didn't mean to hit her, that it really was pent up frustration. She thinks maybe he even forgot for a moment that he was talking to her and not Scott or Aiden, who must've been on him before he came over to see her. And when Scott asks her about her date with Stiles, Stiles' eyes plead with her and she's not sure if he's telling her not to bring it up or to forgive him but she decides not to bring it up, not to talk about it. No one talks about it, it's just a past memory as the hours turn into days and the days turn into weeks and the weeks pass by. It's almost two months later when she sees this side of Stiles again.
The two of them are in his room, trying to figure something out. There are papers on the floor and pinned up on the wall. His eyes are roaming over words and pages and he lets out annoyed, irritated noises every so often that cause Lydia's heart to speed up for a second. It's always a thought in the back of her mind, that he'll hit her again. She's read somewhere that in most cases if they hit you once they'll hit you again. But she just can't believe it, Stiles isn't like that. Stiles is nice, Stiles is kind, he loves her. Everyone knows Stiles isn't like that, everyone knows Stiles loves her. She jumps as he slaps his hand against the wall and tears down a paper, throwing it towards the side while growling in frustration.
"Stiles, maybe we should take a break. We've been at this for hours, Allison and Issac are looking into it too. We can call them, see how they're doing." She pleads with him, hating to see him so frustrated with this. She frowns when he growls and waves her off.
"They said they'd call if they found anything. Did they call?"
"Not yet."
"Then don't be stupid, Lydia." He tells her before pinning another paper where the one he shred off the wall had resided only moments before. Her shoulders sag before she puts the book in her lap down onto his bed and stands, walking towards him.
"Stiles, we've been at this for hours. You're not gonna find anything if you're tired and frustrated. Let's just g-" She hits the floor when he spins, shoving her to the ground roughly. She looks up at him but he just glares down at her and points to her.
"Just shut up for a second, alright?" He tells her before turning back towards the paper. She stays on the ground, looking up at him. He runs a hand through his hair and rips another paper off the wall before tearing three more down and throwing them to the floor. "It doesn't make any sense." He whispers to the wall, in a tone much different than the one before. His shoulders slump and he shakes his head. "Call Allison, see if they've gotten anywhere." She doesn't answer him, just pulls out her phone and dials her friend. Her hands visibly shaking as she hits call. Her eyes never leave Stiles' back.
When everything is calmed, Allison and Issac informing them of their partial success and Stiles' walls being cleared of the information they had printed, Lydia sits on the bed with Stiles not talking to him. They're both quiet, staring at the floor before Stiles looks to her.
"Lydia, I didn't know you were that close." He says and she doesn't bother to look to him. "I was just frustrated, it didn't make any sense. You talking didn't help, I just...I needed you to be quiet. I didn't know you were that close." She licks her lips and he uses on hand to tilt her head up, her eyes meeting his. "I'd never hurt you on purpose, Lyds, you know that. I love you." He says, lips twisting up into a smile. "And I didn't hurt you...did I?" She blinks before shaking her head, smiling back at him. "Good, because I never want to hurt you." He tells her and she doesn't know how to respond, just kisses him back. She doesn't tell him anything except goodbye when she heads home. She looks in the mirror and sighs at the forming bruise on her back from where she hit the bed. She swallows back the tears at the thought of Stiles bruising her and rationalizes that he was right. That he hadn't meant to because he loves her and he probably didn't know she was that close to him. He probably thought she was still on the bed. She doesn't bother to think about how his fingers wrapped around her shoulders tightly before he shoved her away, doesn't bother to think about how he glared at her after and told her to be quiet, doesn't think about how prior to that he had asked her not to be stupid. She ignores all that because he didn't mean, couldn't have meant it. He was frustrated and tired, so was she.
It doesn't take months this time, it's fairly quick this time. Only a week and a half later. Lydia goes shopping with Allison and then out to eat with her friend, talking about how sweet Stiles has been and asking about how Allison's doing with Issac. She doesn't tell Allison about the shove because she doesn't think it's a big deal anymore. Stiles was clearly not that kind of man, he loves her. He had made that much obvious in these past few months, in these past few years. Aside from those two slip-ups Stiles hadn't done anything to hurt her ever and those were clearly accidents. She drops Allison off and helps the girl carry in some bags, greeting Chris before heading home. She gets home to Stiles laying on her bed and narrows her eyes at him slightly, confusion filling her.
"Stiles?" He sits up and looks at her, he stands off the bed while she places her bags near her closet. "What are you doing here?"
"Your mom let me in before she left." He lifts his phone, jaw clenching slightly. "I've been here for a few hours actually." He informs her, looking at her like she should've been here waiting for him.
"Sorry, if I had known I would've..." Her sentence is cut off when Stiles grabs her wrists. She looks to him with confused and scared eyes.
"Are you cheating on me?" He asks straight out, eyes narrowed and lip curled dangerously.
"What? Stiles, no. That's ridiculous." She says. "let go of me."
"Ridiculous?" He asks her, his voice dangerously low. "What were you doing then? What else do you do than open your legs Lydia?" He yells at her and she winces at the tone, at the words, at the person saying those words in that tone to her and meaning it. It hurts, cuts right through her.
"I was with Allison. Now let go of me Stiles."
"If you ever cheat on me..." He says to her, pointing to her and glaring. "I swear to you, Lydia, I swear you'll regret it." He lets go of her and she stares at him, wide eyed. He stares back at her angrily before his face falls slightly. "I don't know what I'll do without you, okay? Don't even think about cheating on me, okay?" She frowns.
"Stiles, I'm not going to cheat on you. I'm never going to cheat on you." Thoughts of breaking up with him cross her mind but his hurt eyes stare back at her and she can't help but think someone put this into his head. That someone was getting to him, that maybe this was somehow her fault for not reassuring him earlier. Maybe because of the amount of time she spent avoiding him before this. She needs to figure this out and help Stiles. "Why do you think that?"
"You never even knew my name, I'm not gonna lose you, Lyds. I can't lose you." And she frowns. "The way people talk, even Allison and Scott. I'm not enough for you." He steps back, sitting on the bed and looks up to her. "I'll never be good enough for you and I can't lose you, I love you." She swallows and walks to him, running fingers through his hair when she stops in front of him.
"You are enough, Stiles. And I love you too but this...this has to stop." Stiles brings shaky fingers up to the wrist he grabbed, gently trailing them over the soon-to-bruise skin. He sighs.
"God, Lydia. I don't know why I grabbed you, I needed your attention. I grabbed you so hard." He swallows and she frowns at him. "I don't know how I could apologize for this." His fingers are gentle and cold. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I grabbed you. I needed you to look at me. Needed to see your eyes but, Lyds, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I never mean to hurt you." He nods at her, looking up into her eyes. "This will stop, I promise. I promise." And she believes him because he's Stiles and Stiles doesn't lie. Stiles isn't the other jerks she's dated he just has his moments.
She wore long sleeves for the next few days, frowning whenever her eyes saw the bruise from his hand. She would watch how his eyes would zero in on the bruise and his lips would frown, causing her to cover it up as fast as she could to stop him from seeing it. He would blink a few times before looking up to her and smiling at her, as if the bruise didn't exist. As if somehow if he couldn't see it, it didn't exist, it never happened. She thinks it's all over and after a month passes, she stops holding her breath for the next blow. After two months pass she thinks the stress has faded and Stiles is aware of his actions more. She can't help but fall back into Stiles, glad he's the Stiles she's always known. Another two weeks pass when it starts all over again. First it's just Stiles screaming and sometimes throwing things and then breaking down and telling her about whatever made him so mad. She'll sit with him and comfort him and tell him that everything will be okay.
Then it takes a darker turn and he starts shoving her around again and every time she's close to breaking up with him he grabs her and apologizes. He cries on her and tells her that he didn't mean to. It starts to sound like the same speech said over and over again, while he holds her close and ices wherever he's hurt on her that day. His words fall out of his mouth after that and it sounds like the first time all over again, like he's reasoning with himself and she's not even there. She never knows what to do, his angered words come back to her mind when she looks in his eyes after that. Words of being called a slut, stupid, useless, pathetic. All the insults come to her mind when she thinks of his rough hits. Words of being perfect, gorgeous, genius, important, stunning, beautiful. All the compliments come running to her whenever she thinks of him. When she thinks of Stiles and his brown eyes looking at her like she's the most important person in the world to him, a smiles on his lips when she kisses him before school. But when she closes her eyes and when that all fades away all she sees is he scowling lips and his angry slurs, eyes looking down on her like he'd rather be anywhere else but here.
She's scared of him when they're alone, always afraid to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and make him just snap. She's afraid to go out with Allison and show up at her house or to Stiles' late. She's scared to talk to Aiden or Issac when she sees Stiles' brown eyes following her. She knows she needs to get out but she doesn't know how. That wasn't the Stiles she knew, wasn't the Stiles any of them knew and she couldn't help but think there was something darker lurking just below the surface. Under the skin was something darker that wasn't their Stiles but looked like her Stiles. She knows that's probably just hope that Stiles really was what he wasn't behind closed doors. Then she's afraid to ask, to bring it up to Scott or Allison and she's scared to leave Stiles. His words burning into her mind every time he hurts her again, when he leaves an ugly bruise on her beautiful skin. Her heart pounding as she stares at his angered face, horrified while he tells her things she knows her Stiles has never even thought. And when she questions him again he tells her he doesn't know why she's with him. There are tears in his eyes and his hands are shaking while he stares at them, as if he had no control over them and they were just some monster connected to him, forcing him to do these terrible things. She admits to him that she doesn't either and he grabs her face, forcing her to look at him, his eyes desperate, grip loose and hands still shaking. He pleads with her 'you can't leave me, Lydia, you can't. I don't what I'll do without you...I'll...I'll die without you, Lyds, you can't leave me. Please, please, promise you'll never leave me. I'll stop, I'll stop. I promise.' and there are tears glistening in his brown eyes. 'I promise, I promise, I promise.' I lie.
She's never seen him this angry before, his face red, eyes wide with anger. She's seen him angry a lot now. It's nothing like when they first started out with lies about how Stiles could've been her best, almost prefect, boyfriend. Where there had been delusions that Stiles was just this happy, sarcastic, hyperactive, sweet guy. No, the delusion had long been killed and while he still was her Stiles in public and she still believed one day whatever was happening would stop he was probably the worst guy she's ever gotten involved with. She was used to dating jerks with the sweetest side between closed doors and when they had first started out she had known Stiles would be different. And he was, he was the sweetest guy but behind closed doors he wasn't just a jerk, he was cruel and mean, he tore her down. He was the worst guy she's ever gotten involved in and she still had never seen him this angry. Through all his bursts of anger he'd never been this mad and he doesn't even tell her why.
She winces when he throws a lamp that hits the wall behind her, smashing and hitting the ground in shards. She jumps at the crash and he stalks to her, yelling words that hurt her head. Her head doesn't even take time to process them as she stares at his moving lips, eyes darting to his quickly. She's unaware she's shaking as he get closer but she stands her ground. She expects him to turn into something, to prove to her that this isn't her Stiles, this isn't the Stiles they all knew but instead he backhands her, sending her sprawling to the floor with a cry at the pain in her face. She can't even make sense of his words as he yells at her, just her heartbeat in her ears and the fear that pulses through her veins. He's never hit her and kept yelling at her, this is usually when he realizes he's done something wrong. This is when he breaks down and apologizes and she accepts it though she knows she shouldn't. Her heart pounds in her chest as he turns and knocks things off her dresser, sending them colliding with the wall and floor, somethings breaking on contact, some just falling noisily to the floor. She swallows, the apology was skipped and Stiles was still angry. Stiles turns on her, eyes narrowed at her as if she had done something wrong by standing there and letting him scream at her, letting him throw things, throw her. She watches him and calls out to him as he stalks to her, eyes intent on hurting her some more.
"Stiles?" She calls, her heart pounding as she stands and backs away from him. Her fearful, wide eyes meet his angered, narrowed ones.
"Shut up." He tells her, his voice growling at her harshly, coldly. "Just shut up." He says again, advancing on her, like she's some sort of prey. Eyes trying to keep her in place as if he can control her and she does the only thing she can do, the only thing she can think to do. She opens her mouth and screams. Screams until her breath gives out, closes her eyes and screams. She screams.
AN: I have no apologies but before you go complaining(which seriously, feel free to do) to me about how out of character Stiles was I thought about that. I totally thought about that and debated putting it in the warnings but for all we know he really isn't out of character. I actually over analyzed this story a lot because of the couple. Stiles, someone who I don't think many think he's abuse someone, and Lydia, someone who most people would probably assume couldn't be in an abusive relationship. And that's, exactly why I chose this couple because you never know who's abusive and everyone could be in an abusive relationship. I have met the sweetest, most amazing people who have turned out to be abusive and I have met the toughest, smartest, prettiest people who have been in abusive relationships and couldn't get out even though they knew they had to. So I broke stereotypes.
I'm also not gonna apologize for the cliffhanger either or the fact I will probably never look at this again. This is gonna be a one-shot and that's how it's gonna end, play with it in your mind.
However, let me know what you thought. (I need to write happier fics.). All mistakes are my own, clearly.