Dear John
John was sitting next to me on the train just looking at the ground as i looked awkwardly out the window. I had only realized i was flushed for the idiot the three years we were on the meteor. I didn't want to believe that this stupid human with big teeth and messy hair had stolen my heart. I could feel someone's eyes no me and i turned to see john face to face with me almost close enough to kiss. He just giggles and i can't help, but stare helplessly into his dumb blue eyes. The train begins to move and he falls forward onto my lap.
"sorry Karkat i didn't mean to fall over." He said with his stupid mouth.
Before i could think about what i was saying, "It's fine fuckass i couldn't stay mad at someone as amazing as you."
It must have been a dream because i would never say something like that ever. he let me know it was a dream when he just sat up and put his hand on my cheek and kissed me. i woke up in the same spot on the train. I rubbed my eyes and inhaled.
"karkat you're awake!" John said moving closer to me again and poking my arm.
he flashed me a big tooth grin and started laughing at me for some stupid reason.
"what?" I half yelled at him.
"nothing you were just...umph" he was cut off by the train beginning to move.I blushed a bright red when he fell onto my lap.
"oh sorry Karkat!" he said getting up.
"Ahh" I yelp as his hand pushed on my bulge as a support.
"oh gog sorry Karkat." he looked scared. he rolled off of my lap and across from me.
"now I can't hurt you anymore." he looked down.
"it's fine John, it was an accident." I said getting up to sit next to him.
he looked up at me and half smiled. i looked at him and i guess i started to smile because he started to giggle and got close to me again.
"What?!" i asked him sounding mean again
"Nothing, it's just that you were so gentle." he said looking at me again.
"What?! No i wasn't John Egbert!" i said pushing him backwards.
"What ever Karkat you know darn well that you are a big softy deep down." he said softly punching me in the arm.
"Shut it Egbert!" i yelled at laughed harder at me and i blushed a bright red.
he wouldn't stop being cute. 'Dammit Egbert im trying not to fall in love with you' i thought as i looked at him with my usual scowl.
"Karkat you're adorable when you blush" he said grabbing my arm and pating it gently.
I smacked his hand away from me and glared "shut the fuck up!"
He looked utterly frightened of me and like he was about to cry right then and there.
"No john I didnt mean to scare you I'm sorry"i said really quickly because i felt bad.
"No its fine karkat." He started sniffling and wiped the fake tear from his eyes. "Because i got you!" He flashed a giant grin and i just wanted to slap him in the big buck tooth mouth that he has on his stupidly cute face.
"What the fuck john?!" I yelled right in his face.
He looked down because he could tell I was angry."sorry Karkat I really didnt mean to make you angry I just thought that it'd be really funny."
I stayed silent and just lifted that fucker's head up so I was like a stupid inch away and waited a few seconds before my lips brushed against his. They were a lot softer than I expected and he tasted sweet. Not more than 3 seconds into the kiss john begins to kiss back, putting his hand softly on my face running his tongue across my lower lip asking for entry. I soon granted it before trying to be dominant. We fought for it and he won. I could feel his tongue exploring my mouth. My hands found their way up to his hair and he pulled me up so I was sitting in his lap. I went to say something but with his mouth on mine it sounded like a moan. He ran his arms up and down my thighs stopping at my ass and giving it a small squeeze. We broke the heated kiss for air. I was panting and managed to say "I thought you weren't a homo john. Whatever the fuck that is."
"I'm not karkat." He said looking at me weird
"Then why did you kiss me back? Seems pretty homoerotic to me." I placed my hands on his shoulders and sighed which made me grind slowly and johns lap. John opened his mouth and blushed.
He looked down and to the right at the window."I'm not homo I'm bisexual." He said like it was nothing and that I was supposed to know what in the fuck that meant.
"What the fuck is a bisexual john you're not making any sense to me."
"Its when a human,like me, likes both genders. So to sum it up I am sexually attracted to females and males. Now can we just drop it. It's obvious that I like you Karkat." He was blushing like crazy and he looked like a bright red human tomato. Terezi would lick the shit out of his face right now if she could.
I went silent again and grabbed his face kissing him deeply again grinding on his lap as we kissed. "I like you too fuckass."
He moaned into my kiss and pushed me against the train wall as he deepened it once more. We were both breathing rather heavily and we were both blushing out of our minds. He brought his knee to my bulge and massaged it softly still keeping the kiss. I moaned accidentally bit his lip and tasted blood. He groaned and held me closer bringing my ass to his hardened bulge half pushing himself onto me and half pulling me onto him. We were both bright red and biting our lips.
The train stopped abruptly and i woke up to see my head on john's lap. Was it all a dream? It didn't matter because I was extremely hard and I needed to find a way to get it down. Touching myself was out of the question because we're in public and my thoughts are extremely sexual right now. I was suddenly panicked when John looked at me and smiled still sleepy from his little nap.
"Hey Karkat. Did you sleep well?" he rubbed his eyes and patted around for his glasses. 'If he cant see me then im good for now.' i thought before grabbing his glasses and putting them in my shirt.
"yeah i slept alright. what about you fuckass how did you sleep?" i asked sitting up on my knees.
"i slept good ,but i can't seem to find my glasses can you find them for me since you can actually see clearly." he said looking in my general direction.
"uh sure let me look." i got up and placed them on the floor. i was still extremely hard and when i bent down it rubbed roughly against my pants. "fuck" i said letting out a slight moan.
"What?! Are you ok?" John asked getting concerned.
"Its nothing I'm fine. you know what? As Dave says, YOLO!" I yelled and gave john his glasses and sat down. His eyes stayed on my face and grinned he kissed my nose and giggled
"Thank you." He said. I was blushing hard. I decided that 'it' waant going to go down so I just tucked it up so it didn't show.
I look over to see him biting his lip and being extremely adorable. He really doesn't know what he's doing to me at any moment. I realized was staring again and looked down at my hands. He lifted my chin and planted a kiss on my lips and i looked back at him shocked. He stayed in the position for a few seconds before I kissed back rougher than he was. When he moaned I almost jumped back in my seat but then a knock came on the door. It was the conductor telling us we needed to get off. We exited the compartment and soon the train.
"Do you want to go back to my hive?" I asked sheepishly.
"Yeah lets go!" He said almost immediately blushing like crazy and looking down. Had i had the same effect on him that he had on me.
We reached my hive and I let him in. I had just put in human furniture last week because Gamzee kept coming to my place and getting high on my slime so I just ditched the idea of having it all together. We headed for my respite block and I opened the door walking inside slowly. He threw me on the nearest wall and began kissing me again pulling up my shirt and rubbing circles into my chest. I kissed back and pulled his shirt up. I finally took off my shirt after he took off his. He kissed me deeper i guess trying to imagine me as a girl since he wasnt gay. I played with the hem of his jeans while still kissing him forcing my tongue into his mouth he moaned, oh how he moaned. It was like music to my ears. I unfastened the button and unzipped the zipper of them shoving my hands down his pants and palming him softly. He moaned again blushing. I pulled his pants down. Then began on my own. I kissed up his legs all the way up to his chin. He was blushing and moaning when i kissed those areas.
His hands went for me and he laid me down onto the bed so I was sitting on top of his lap. We kissed again and I grinded my hips against his blushing a bright red. He moaned slightly blushing brighter than I was.
"John.." I said in a low growl. He looked up at me with half lidded eyes. I could see the burning lust in his eyes and could hear the need in his breath. I kissed him again sliding my hand downward and kissing his neck searching for his sweet spot. I found it quite easily.
He stopped my hand when it had reached his bellybutton and I lifted my head and raised an eyebrow. "What you want to stop already?" I asked getting impatient.
"No its just I don't know. I never thought we'd get this far is all. I was trying not to fall for you and look where I am head over fucking heels for one of my best bros who is a man i might add." He said blushing and moving his hands from my shoulders to my hips. " i know that your culture doesn't go by genders but mine does and I don't know if I'm comfortable doing this with another man. I mean its still a little weird for me and this is not like the yaoi anime's dave has shown me. Its real and its happening an..." I cut his off with a kiss.
"John you've got me, a troll, to fall for you, a human, in a red way. At first I thought that I hated you ,but then Dave showed up, and i thought I was pale for you ,but then Harley was there. And then I thought i was ashen for you and davesprite ,but that made no fucking sense because you two weren't kismesisy at all. And then I realized on the meteor that I was flushed for an idiot like you." I was ranting again and I could feel john start to get uncomfortable so I got up and sat on the edge of the bed. "If you're not ready for this I won't force it upon you , I love you too much to do that to you."
"Thanks Karkat. I appreciate it. And I'm pretty sure I probably love you." He said looking down. "Well uh goodnight then." He got up and went to go to my human couch to sleep. I grabbed his arm before could leave the room.
"Oh no, you sleep in here tonight. I'll go to my couch you are my guest." I threw him onto the bed and got up to leave the room. "Goodnight Egbert."
I woke up in the middle of the night to john yelling in his sleep. I went to my respiteblock to check up on him. He was squirming around and it looked as if he'd been crying. I woke him up by shaking him. He woke up very scared-like. It was a few seconds before he buried his head into my shoulder and began to cry again.
"Oh my god Karkat thank god you are ok." He was sobbing.
"What do you mean fuckass?" I said rubbing the back of his head and patting his back
"My dream,just now, was so real I thought I was awake. It was the worst thing to ever happen to all of us and it scared the shit out of me." He began crying again. " I hate crying because even when you try you can't stop. Even if you wanted to you can't stop. " he sobbed again.
I stopped him with a just looked up at me with a blank expression. "See you've stopped. The power of a kiss. Its the only way to cheer up someone you love." I said with a smile. He giggled and punched me in the arm.
"You're silly Karkat." He flashed a big toothy grin.
" well goodnight then sleep well." I said getting up from the bed. He grabbed my shirt before I could get all the way to my feet.
" actually I was hoping that you could sleep with me i here for the rest of the night so that I don't get scared again." He was blushing and looking down again.
"Sure john i'd like that." I smiled and climbed into the bed and under the covers. He moved closer and snuggled against fell asleep and stayed that way for the rest of the night.
I woke up extremely tired next to john. He was still asleep and looked really peaceful. I was thinking about what he had said the night before. "I was trying not to fall for you and look at where i'm at, head over heels." Those words just burned into my skull as i thought more and more about it. Was trying not to fall for him and he's fallen for me. What the hell is even going on? In so confused about everything nothing's the same. Nothing ever will be now that he's done that. FUCK. Stupid human boys went so they have to do this to a troll? Why couldn't they just keep their alien asses out of our lives. Everything could have been fine,but john just had to show up with his stupid hair and teeth and ruin everything.
"Good Morning Karkat." John said sleepily wrapping his arms around me and placing his head on my shoulder. "How'd you sleep?"
"Just fine how about you?" I asked trying not to just kiss him right here and now.
"I slept great!thanks for sleeping next to me, it really helped to feel the touch of another. I missed it so much." He said blushing and smiling.
"Three years is a long time to not have someone to cuddle or hug everyday." I said petting his hair softly.
"Yes it is." He said with a sigh.
"John you really are an amazing person. I couldn't last 3 days without the touch of another. I'm truly impressed with your accomplishment of 3 years." I replied in a serious tone.
He giggled and layed back down. "Sooooooo." Je said awkwardly.
"Yeah?"
"Well i was wondering."
"What is it fucker?" I said getting impatient again.
"You know how you said that you thought you were black for me?" He said slowly.
" yes. Get to the point if there even is one."
"But then Dave came along.. Are you two uh, you know..." He hesitated.
"Are we what?!"
"Kismesis?" He said implying that we hate fucked or something of that nature.
"No remember you are still human and couldn't possibly wrap your tiny think pans around the concept of troll romance." I said getting red because i was so serious.
He giggled "you're so cute when you're mad, you turn red like a tomato." His hand went to my face and an extended finger poked my cheek.
"Shut it." I blushed and looked down.
He grabbed my face and brought it up into a soft kiss. I kissed back but this time the kiss was different. It wasn't lustful at all,it was more passionate and loving. I felt fireworks go off and my heart beat faster and the butterflies in my stomach sprung to life and bounced against the sides of it. I really truly wondered if this is what love feels like.
The kiss ended and we both looked each other in the eyes and smiled. I Karkat Vantas was smiling. I Karkat Vantas was truly in love. In love with an alien that loved me back. It was the greatest feeling in the world I never wanted that moment to end.
" Karkat you're smiling." John laughed.
"Shut up" i was blushing but i looked down with a from on my face.
He kissed me again and the fireworks and butterflies went off again. Does this really happen every time? I thought about how john said he wasn't homo. And how he might not want to be with me and how he led me on and how I loved him. The more I thought the worse I felt.
"John I need to know. When we kiss it's like fireworks go off and flapping bugs ram into the sides of my acid pouch. I'm in love with you. Do you love me too?" I said looking him straight in the eyes. When he was quiet my heart dropped. Tears began forming and I just sat there looking at him.
"Karkat... I.. I don't know what to say." Was the only thing he said. I started to cry and looked down.
"You could say you love me its that easy john." I said sobbing.
He lifted my head and kissed me gently. " don't cry karkat . like you said, a kiss is the perfect way to cheer someone up. Confessing love isn't as easy as you say it is Karkat. I'm not sure that I love you. I mean I think do ,but i know how you feel about the kissing it almost feels the same. I didn't realize when you kissed someone that it was supposed to feel like that. I didn't want it to end but all good things do I guess. Sorry now I'm babbling." He said smiling looking down. I was shocked by his words. I threw myself at him and gave him a big hug.
"I love you john Egbert. No matter how i deny it i've fallen horns over heels." I said.i stayed like that for a while.
"I know you do." He said. That made me kind of sad I mean I know that he said that he thinks he loves me but he didn't have to say I know you do. Out of all the things to say ,your dumbass says 'I know' what the fuck Egbert talk about a mood kill.
Should I say something? I dont know I want to buy I love him to much to call him out and stuff like that. I wanted to kiss him again but would that be too much? I decided to let it go and just get over it, i mean it's not like i can force him to love me. Love takes time and it cannot be rushed.
A few days passed and Egbert hadn't really talked to me. I he was just trying to sort things out for himself. It sucked because i always wanted to be around him and love him and feel loved bit that wasn't going the way it was supposed to now was it. Why do humans have to be so complicated? I don't think I'd cried before now since i was a wriggler. I Karkat Vantas was crying like a baby over someone who doesn't realize what he is fucking doing to my think pan and my blood pusher. Whenever i said anything to him it felt like I was floating. It was really difficult when he didn't even acknowledge me because I'm not used to anyone not acknowledging me. I've never given anyone a reason to ignore me. I started to cry again, but this time i didn't have my moirail to help me get through this one but then again when did he ever actually help me. i mean he was always too high to even know what was going on. I was shaking and rocking back and forth wishing I had never even spoken to him in the first place. All of this wouldn't be happening I'd still be the same old Karkat vantas with the mystery blood color and the cracked out friend and the leader complex. I wouldn't be a god and I would be in love right now. Alternia would still be there and i'd still be watching rom coms with crabdad and crying with him and laughing with him. No one would have died. No relationships would be ruined. Everything would just be normal old alternia.
There was a knock at my door. I rushed to answer it expecting it to be one of my lame ass friends or the pizza delivery guy. But it was no other than the bucktooth wonder himself, john fucking Egbert. I answered it slowly
"What the fuck do you want?" I said harshly.
"I just wanted to say ive been thinking lately, and I came to the conclusion that in our current situation.."
"Get to the fucking point Egbert!" I interrupted impatiently.
"Im in love with you." He leaned in for a kiss. I almost kissed back but then put my hand over his mouth.
"You really think that you can just waltz your ass to my hive and just say something like that and expect it to be ok again. You really think that that is going to fix you fucking ignoring me for a whole fucking month?!" I shouted at him. His smug little grin faded and he looked down.
"Well, no I know that it doesnt fix it, but I was hoping that you would at least be happy to her that I love you. Karkat I'm sorry about what I did. You can call me a dick or an ass all you want, but that doesn't change the act that I love you and want to be with you. I'm ready to fill a bucket as you trolls say I want to fill many buckets with you." I sacked him across the face
" what the fuck Egbert that's fucking gross. Don't bring up buckets that's a sensitive subject. " I said looking at him with a bright red blush. He looked surprised and started to shake his head
" oh karkat im.." I cut him off with a kiss."what?" He looked stupid
"Are we going to fucking fill that bucket or what?" I said kissing his neck and sliding my hand up his shirt. His hands traveled to my waist and he pulled me closer
"Are you sure you want to do that?" He said sliding them up to my arms and pulling them up. He pinned me on the wall and put my hands above me. He then began to kiss me grinding on me ever so slightly. I moaned into the kiss.
" whoa there don't be so loud. I'll stop now if you don't stay quiet." Normally if anyone said this I would have left or kicked them out right then, but this time it only made me hard. It was the sexiest thing i've ever heard someone say it crawled up my body to my ear and nipped at it. He started to kiss down my neck after pulling off my shirt. He had seemed more experienced this time and I think I know why. He had been spending a lot of time with strider and strider likes to show off that human cartoon porn shit.
He'd already made it to my jeans by the time I had collected my thoughts. He looked up and unfastened the button and zipper. He pulled them down and kissed my hip bones and close to my bulge base. He pulled down my boxers with his mouth and licked my thighs. I bit my lip and let out a small moan trying to keep quiet. He kissed the tip and licked the slit. I gasped and let out a moan. He put the whole thing in his mouth and deep throated my bulge. I was sweating and then he started to Bob and suck. I was moaning and cursing. The knot in my stomach tightened and I knew i was close.
"Im going to... Mmm...cu..." I said. He pulled off of me and stood up.i sighed and looked angrily at him.
"Not yet Karkat I want to do something else before you cum." He said in a seductive tone. Walking to my room giving me the 'come here' finger. When I got to my room he was already getting undressed. He was naked by the time i had the chance to even touch him. My erection brushed against his ass and he jumped slightly.
"No no no. I'm seme Karkat now wait." He looked at me and winked. What the fuck is a seme? Why does he say these things like I know what they mean? It didn't matter anymore because one way or another a bucket would be filled.
He placed me on the bed and spread my legs upward. He slid a finger inside of me before I could say anything. It felt strange at first. He added another finger and did a scissor motion and pumped and out. It started to feel good and i whined. He added another and he hit something inside of me. I moaned louder and then he took them out. The fingers were replaced with something a little harder and warmer. My eyes shot open and i looked at him before he shoved in. It surprisingly didn't hurt as much and slid in very easily. I moaned and gripped the bedsheets. He started to move and he went faster and faster. I could suppress the moans any longer and I let them out one after another. He was moaning too so I know he was feeling great just about now. I decided to take it up a notch and I started to buck my hips slightly causing him to curse and moan. ."oh yeah Karkat ahh don't stop."he said panting. I didn't stop but went a little harder. I was so close to cuming that i almost had to stop but I didn't because i could tell he was close too. He gave one more thrust and came inside of me before I came as well all over our stomachs. He slid out and licked me clean. It was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen him do. i fell asleep on his chest after I flipped him.
"Karkat wake up." I heard a distant voice calling me into reality.
"Go away I'm sleeping." I said snuggling whatever i was on. Which was surprisingly boney
"I would if you weren't sleeping on me silly." He said shaking me and calling again.
"Fine fuck im up." I said looking into his deep blue eyes. Gog he's beautiful. He lifted his head up to mine and gave me a kiss.
"I love you." He said smiling.
"I love you too Egbert." I said looking grumpily to the only chuckled. pushed me to the side and sat up.
"I'll be down stairs" he said getting out of bed and putting his clothes on. He walked out of the room. i got up and followed him, but I was naked.
He turned into my living room and I heard two voices. I walked out of hiding and saw him talking on the phone.
" whoa Karkat put something on."he said blushing covering up the speaker.
"Who are you talking to?" I ignored the comment.
"I'm talking to my dad." He lied."No its just Karkat he wanted to know who I was talking to " he said into the phone. I heard a slight lisp in the voice on the other side.
"Ok whatever you say." I said before I grabbed the phone out of his hand.
" karkat what the fuck its a private conversation. Give it back." He yelled at me. He tried to take it back but I was too quick.
" what the hell are you two talking about Sollux?!" I yelled at him.
"None of your damn bithneth kk." He said in an asshole tone.
"I'm the leader fucking tell me fuckass " i could feel the smirk on his stupid grey face.
"Fuck fine we were talking about all the thingth that we're going to do to each other when he finally cometh over to my house. " he said laughing at my anger and distress.
John snatched the phone back and apologized to sollux before hanging up. I slapped him right in the face.
"Ow what the fuck Karkat?" He asked in a slightly angry voice.
"When were you planning on telling me?" I asked, starting to cry.
" what do you mean?" He asked rubbing the cheek I had slapped.
"About how you and Sollux are messing around. What is he not good enough for you? Am I the side bitch? You said you loved me john. What the hell did he mean by 'all the things you guys are going to do to each other when you go over there?'" I began to yell.
"No It's a misunderstanding . Nothing's going on between me and Sollux. I'm going over there to video games. That's it." He explained hugging me and pulling my puffy red face into a kiss. " don't believe him he's only trying to make you jealous. "
I stopped crying and fell into his arms.
"I'm sorry John." I said sniffling and kissing him. He kissed back. " one more thing though. " I said in a serious tone.
"Yeah what is it?" He said looking at me with a smile.
"Will you be my matesprits?" I asked blushing.
"Uh i thought we already were but yes i will." He kissed my nose. And that is how I met the love of my life john Egbert.
I read that last sentence blushing.
"What the hell is this Dave?" I asked looking a little angry.
"Its the story of how you and egderp met and fell in love." He replied smirking.
"That's not how it happened fucker." I said not realizing what i had just said, "I don't act like that fuck you i'm not fucking sappy like that, and anyway who the fuck would be jealous of Captor?"
"Oh, but it did happen." He said smirk getting larger.
"Fuck no it didn't." I said trying to hide it
"Don't deny it karkat. You know that you and john are totally matesprits." He said pinching my cheek.
"Gog I fucking hate you." I said smacking his hand away.
As we argued Terezi walked up and began to read the story Dave had wrote.
"Hmmm. What's this?" She asked herself before dropping it and blushing."oh well never mind that's enough for today." She walked out.
An/ omg guys that took awhile cx. Well thank you for reading I really enjoyed writing this one. I want to thank all of you for the feedback that really helps. On my other fanfiction I have 5,000 something reads omg thanks guys that makes me so happy. Well happy reading lovelies
~Riri-chan~