Disclaimer: I do not own anything/anyone that I use/abuse in this story.
A woman walks out onto a stage and stands in front of a camera wearing a fancy tux, complete with white gloves and top hat. Bowing to the camera, she pulls out a microphone and smiles cheerfully. "Hello everyone!" She said enthusiastically. "I'm here to introduce a brand new show. My name is Shad (Shadow of the Forgotten) and this is…" Shad paused dramatically as she tore off her tux. Noticing a slight draft, she looked down and laughed nervously. "Eh heh heh…wrong outfit." She said as she pulled off the Playboy costume (complete with tail and bunny ears), and tossed it aside to reveal a different outfit. This one had camo cargo pants and a black t-shirt with 'W.T.F.' written in red flames. "There we go." She said as she got back into her speech. "Now, as I was saying before that horrible wardrobe malfunction, welcome to my new show W.T.F." As she finished, pyrotechnics went off in the background showering her with sparks. "Eeeek, my hair's on fire!" she screamed as she patted her smoking, and slightly singed, hair. After taking a few moments to compose herself, she cleared her throat and began again. "Like I was saying, this is the first episode of my new show W.T.F. Now I know what most of you are wondering, 'what the fu--'? What kind of name is that, but I can assure you that is not the name of this show. The abbreviation stands for…Wacky Tournament Fighting!"
"This show will bring fighters from many different anime's and video games and have them compete in random matches. Each fighter will be vying for these." Shad said as she held a black token, with the letters W.T.F. printed in red, up in her hand. "I'll explain what they're for in a minute. Now, in normal tournaments, fighters that lose go home. However, this is an invitation only tournament and fighter's who've received invitations are free to come and go as they please. And as I said before all matches will be random, that means the fighters as well as the types of matches that they'll be competing in. Anything can happen on this show my friends. You'll laugh, you'll cheer…and generally just wonder what the hell's going on. But that's ok cause you'll have fun doing it."
"Ok, back to the tokens." Shad said as she held the token back up. "Fighters will earn tokens by winning matches. Each match, fighters will have to put up one of their tokens as a prize. Of course since no one starts off with a token, I will be giving them out to the winners. At least until the fighters have their own to put up. If a fighter that has no tokens loses, since the matches are random this is only fair, I will be giving the token to the winner. It is mandatory to put up one token per match, if they have one that is, but as long as both fighters agree they can put up as many as they want. With the exception of grudge matches of course, the fighter setting up the match is required to put up twice the amount of tokens as his opponent."
"Now, I bet you're all wondering what the tokens are for right?" Shad asked with a smile. "Well, I guess that means it's time to show you." Pointing to the shadows beside her, she waited for the spotlight. As soon as the light touched the giant black box, which looked suspiciously like one of those arcade prize games, Shad continued. "This is the prize machine. It takes five tokens to play and will randomly give out prizes. Somewhere in that machine is the W.T.F. championship belt, along with other odds and ends. It costs five tokens to play, so a fighter will need to have six tokens before he can try his luck with the machine. That way he'll still have a token to put up if he fails to get the belt. Which considering the odds, there are over a hundred prizes after all, is almost a guarantee. The fighter who pulls out the belt will become the first ever W.T.F. champion. And just to make things more interesting, any fighter who gets an item from the prize machine is required to use that item in their next match. Since I don't even know what all's in there, it promises to be very interesting."
"Ok, let's go over some basic rules." Shad said as she pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket. "Lethal force is not allowed in any fight, however, you can still use weapons like guns and such as long as the ammunition is designed to stun not kill. Outside interference is an instant disqualification, and the referee's decision is final. Specific rules for each match will be explained before the fights."
"Well I think that's it for the boring stuff, so now it's time to introduce some of my helpers." Shad said, tossing the paper aside. "First up is Kharma, my part time co-conspirator on the show." A giant video screen lit up to show a picture of a guy with his back turned towards the screen, currently playing some video game. Shad sweatdropped. "Eh, oh well, I guess he'll join us later. Anyways, next up are my techy's; Jim Hawking, MakubeX and Lopez." The video screen split into three sections showing each of the aforementioned people.
Jim looked up from his work and raised his hand in a small wave, before ducking under the console on the XGP and getting back to work.
MakubeX looked up from a wall filled with monitors and screens and smiled. "Hello, it's nice to be here." He said before lying back on a young girls lap.
Lopez stood on a grassy field in front of some kind of armored vehicle. "I am only here because my robot army failed." He said mechanically in Spanish, which was translated courtesy of the microphone he was using.
"Ok…" Shad said blinking, before going back into her introductions. "Jim will be in charge of keeping the equipment working, MakubeX will be running the randomizer, which he created himself, and Lopez…I think I'll move him over to head of security."
"Well that's it for the intros, so let's get ready for our first ever fight." Shad said as a small table and chair appeared before her out of thin air. Taking a seat, she snapped her fingers and a ring came up out of the ground in the middle of the stage. "Now, I know some of our fights probably wont even need a ring, what with the fights being random and all, but its tournament policy." She said, holding up a massive book entitled 'Proper Tournament Rules and Policies'. "Plus it makes it look more official." Pulling some papers out of thin air (presumably the same place the table and chair came from), Shad flipped through the first few pages before finding the one she wanted. "Since this is our very first episode, not all of our invitations have received responses. In fact we've only heard back from a couple of fighters so far, so unfortunately we'll only be having two matches tonight. Which to make things fair will only be exhibition matches and no tokens will be awarded. Don't worry though, things will definitely pick up before our next episode." Pausing to catch her breath, and get into announcer mode, Shad smiled widely before continuing. "And now, let's start our first ever episode off with a bang. First up i-"
BOOOOOOM
Looking stunned for a moment, Shad groaned. "First of all I said 'bang' not 'boom', and secondly I didn't really mean it." Shad said as she looked towards the floating figure with long silver hair, who had just blown a hole in the side of the warehouse they were currently filming in. "Ah, Sephiroth, our first fighter. So good of you to join us." Shad said, before glaring at the hovering male. "I hope you know you'll be paying for the damages."
Sephiroth ignored her last comment as he spoke up. "Where is my opponent Cloud?" He asked as his eyes surveyed the building.
"He's not here." Shad said as she inspected her nails and brushed some lingering dust off them.
Sephiroth glared at the woman before him, and was mildly surprised when she leveled him with one just as intense. They continued their little glaring contest for a while longer, until Sephiroth finally shook his head. That was not why he was there after all. "Enough of this." He said as he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. "I was given an invitation to fight Cloud. Now bring him to me."
"Actually, your invitation invites you to participate in a match on W.T.F. And although it does state that Cloud will be here, it doesn't say when." Shad said with a grin. "I should know since I wrote it."
"…" Was Sephiroth's reply as he reread the invitation. He thought about glaring at the annoying woman, but decided it would be embarrassing to be out glared again. "It seems you are correct." He grudgingly admitted. "But since the opponent I wish to fight is not here, I will be leaving."
Just as he got ready to fly off, Shad spoke up. "Are you sure you don't want to stay and fight, I set you up with a very strong opponent."
"No." Sephiroth stated as he took off, only to stop suddenly as he heard a new voice.
"What, are you afraid you're going to lose?" A ninja dressed in all black asked as he walked out into the ring, leaned against a post and crossed his arms.
Spinning around, Sephiroth drew his sword and flew back to the ring. "For that you die." He stated with narrowed eyes.
"And here it is folks, our first ever match and it's between Sephiroth and Ryu Hayabusa." Shad said as she pulled out a whistle. "I'll be the ref for this fight. Now MakubeX, the match stipulations if you please." The video screen came to life once again, only this time it had random numbers and words running across it. Suddenly it stopped, and a very unnerving smile formed on Shad's face. "And here are the results…it's going to be a weapons only brawl and the first to fall loses. Ready, fight!" Shad said as she blew her whistle.
"I won't need anything but my sword to b-" Unfortunately the rest of Sephiroth's speech was cut off as Ryu slashed at his head with a powerful slice of his Kitetsu. Barely blocking the cut in time with the Masamune, Sephiroth decided that now would be a good time to fight. Turning slightly, he tried to pivot his body using the momentum to slide his blade towards his opponent. It might have worked too, if Ryu hadn't dropped to a crouch at the same time and kicked his leg out. Sephiroth barely managed to stay balanced as he backed away slowly. "You are skilled." He said as he got back into a fighting stance.
"And you're much weaker than I expected." Ryu said with a smirk. Reaching behind his back he pulled out what appeared to be a metal blade and spread it open. It spread out into four equal blades with a hole in the middle. With a quick throw, Ryu launched the windmill shuriken at Sephiroth with pinpoint accuracy.
"And Sephiroth manages to dodge the deadly aerial attack, but just barely." Shad said as she continued to watch the fight. Then she began to snicker. "I guess he didn't dodge it that well after all." She said as she watched some of his silver hair fall to the ground.
Sephiroth must have realized this as well since he suddenly became enraged. "How dare you touch my hair." He growled out. "Ice 3." He said as he used a spell to freeze his opponent.
Unfortunately for him Ryu summoned flames around his body and melted the ice as if it were nothing, escaping completely unscathed. Powering up completely, Ryu charged at Sephiroth and swung his sword down with incredible force. Sephiroth tried to block, but he wasn't quick enough and felt his sword get knocked from his grip. Suddenly, lightning appeared above the ring as Ryu unleashed The Art of Inazuma on the now weaponless fighter. Lighting bolts converged on a still stunned Sephiroth from all sides and the room suddenly became very bright. A few seconds later the light faded and Sephiroth stood in the ring charred and slightly smoking. Breathing out a small puff of smoke, he collapsed to the mat.
Blowing her whistle again, Shad smiled. "And the winner is Ryu!" Ryu bowed as Shad walked over to nudge the fallen fighter with her foot. His response was a slightly muffled grunt of pain. Reaching into his pocket, Shad pulled out the charred remains of his invitation. Crumpling it up, she tossed the pieces on the ground. "For cheating and being an all around pain in the ass, your invitation is revoked." Then with a smile she faced the camera once again. "Now I'd like to introduce the person behind the controls, literally, of Ryu. Everyone, please welcome Kharma!" Shad said as a guy walked out on stage, in jeans and a red t-shirt, with an XBOX controller in hand.
Kharma waved to the camera before turning and looking at the remains of Sephiroth. "You just got owned." He said with a smirk. "I guess you're not that strong after all." Seeing the semi-conscious Sephiroth's glare, Kharma laughed. "That was a good warm up though, feel free to drop by anytime and I'll give you another beating."
Having had enough, Sephiroth glared at the two before slowly standing and flying off. He may have been humiliated by a gamer and an annoying announcer/ref/owner/whatever else she happened to be, but he would have the last laugh. And then, as if someone was out to get him, he promptly ran head first into a pillar and fell to the ground unconscious.
Shad and Kharma watched his ungraceful exit and laughed. Calming down quickly, Shad headed back to her table and sat down. She had a show to finish after all. "Well since you're already here, you want to help out on the last fight?" She asked Kharma.
Kharma thought about it for a moment and shook his head. "Naah, I'm in the middle of a mmorpg and I need to get back to it. I'll see ya later." He said as he headed off to who knows where muttering about spells and destroying the undead.
Shrugging her shoulders, Shad got back to business. "Eh, suit yourself. Now our next, and sadly last, fight of the evening is between Vash the Stampede and Tex." Shad said as both fighters came out on stage.
Vash, dressed in his favorite red trench coat, smiled and waved at the camera. "See Meryle, I told you I wouldn't get lost." He said as Shad and Tex sweatdropped.
"As entertaining as it is watching this idiot make a fool of himself, I was paid to fight so let's get this match started." Tex said, getting into the ring.
"You weren't supposed to mention your payment." Shad groaned as she dropped her head to the table. "It makes me sound pathetic."
Tex just shrugged her shoulders. "I'm a merc. Do you really think anyone would believe I'm doing this for free?"
"Um…ok, you've got me there." Shad said as she pulled out her whistle and got ready to begin the match. Looking over at the ring once more, she realized something was missing. Namely, the idiot who was still over in front of the camera babbling on about who knows what. Groaning, Shad rubbed her temples in annoyance. "Vash." She said calmly, well somewhat anyway. "Get your butt in the ring now so we can start this match."
Vash stopped his little speech and scratched the back of his head nervously. "Eh heh, sorry about that. I kinda got carried away." He said, climbing into the ring.
Tex just stood there shaking her head at his antics, while Shad tried desperately to not bang her head against the table. Sitting up straighter, Shad looked up at the video screen. "MakubeX, the match stipulations please." Once again random letters and numbers ran across the screen before stopping. "And it looks like this is going to be an anything goes match. First person to land outside the ring loses. Ready, fight!" Shad blew her whistle and sat back to enjoy the show. After all, Vash's macho man act should be kicking in anytime now.
And sure enough, Vash had started walking towards Tex with a suave look on his face. "Hello beautiful lady, there is no need for you to fight any longer as I offer myself as your bodyguard. I will protect you even if it costs me my life." He said as he attempted to woo his opponent.
"Vash really should have paid attention earlier." Shad said with a grin. "It might have prevented him from saying something as stupid as that."
Tex just blinked; well at least we assume she did, it's impossible to tell with her armor on. "For your sake, I hope that was a joke." She said, becoming slightly annoyed with the blonde haired dolt. "Cause if it wasn't, then I'd have to assume you're insinuating I'm too weak to protect myself. And if that were the case, I'd be forced to rip out your skull and beat you to death with it."
"That doesn't seem physically possible." Vash said, paling at the thought.
"Funny." Tex said with a smirk. "That's exactly what Jimmy said when I did it to him."
Vash gulped and backed away from the psychotic woman.
Seeing her opponent turning green, Tex chuckled. "Oh you don't have to worry about that, I was only hired to fight. I'm not here to kill anyone."
"That's good." Vash said as he calmed slightly, only to pale again as she leveled a glowing green gun on him.
"Lucky for me though, this plasma pistol doesn't kill on the first shot." Tex said happily as she pulled the trigger.
"SCARY!!" Vash screamed as he ducked and rolled away from the blast. Pulling out his own weapon, he fired off two rounds, which bounced harmlessly off her. "No freaking way! You're invincible." Vash stated dumbly.
Tex slapped her forehead and groaned.
"She's wearing armor you moron." Shad said as she mimicked Tex's actions.
Vash blinked. "Oh yeah, I forgot." He said sheepishly.
Shad and Tex promptly facefaulted.
Getting back up, Tex shook her head. "That's it, I'm finishing this." She said as she pulled out a rocket launcher and fired it.
Before Vash even knew what happened, he was blasted out of the ring and sent flying. He landed with a loud 'thud' on several boxes, and after muttering something about donuts, collapsed.
"And it looks like the winner is Tex." Shad said as Tex exited the ring. "Although the match was a little one-sided."
"Well I would've played around more, but he wasted so much time before the match that I had to end it quickly." Tex said sounding annoyed. "I'm on a schedule after all, and speaking of which I need to get going. I'm supposed to be beating up Church in 15 minutes. I'll see you later." She said as she walked towards a green portal and disappeared.
"…ok." Shad said blinking. "Well that was a little weird, if not unexpected." Shaking her head, she got back to the show. "Well folks, that's it for the first episode of W.T.F." She said with a smile. "I wish I could say it was a great show, but honestly it was kind of boring. Sorry about that, but it's taking longer than anticipated to get all the invites out. These people don't live around here after all. And it's not like I can just have the post office deliver them, some of these places either don't really exist or aren't on this planet. Besides, the postage alone would bankrupt me. I called all those that I could, but do you have any idea how much a phone call to Blood Gulch costs? It isn't cheap, I'll tell you that." She said shaking her head. "So unfortunately that meant I had to scrounge up people so that I could even have fights tonight. But hey, it all worked out in the end, and next time will be even better. Ok then, I hope you'll join us on the next epi-."
"I demand a rematch." A voice said from the shadows.
"Oh boy, it looks like Sephiroth is awake." Shad said sarcastically, and with a just a hint of annoyance. "Go away, you're no longer allowed on this show." She waved her hand dismissively in his direction and hoped he'd get the hint. Damn, no such luck.
Sephiroth stalked out of the shadows and approached Shad menacingly. Pulling out his blade, he placed it before her throat. "I want a rematch now." He growled. "Decline and die."
Shad raised an eyebrow. "If you don't put that toy away, I'll give you a fight all right. But it'll be against a far scarier opponent." She threatened. When Sephiroth failed to heed her warning, Shad smirked. "Fine, have it your way." She said as she pushed a small button on the table.
Moments later, a tall blonde (dressed in a pink dress with high heels and glasses) walked out on stage holding a clipboard and carrying a bag with a small Chihuahua in it.
"A girl." Sephiroth scoffed. "How pathetic." He said as he turned back towards his prey.
The 'girl' began tapping her foot in annoyance before clearing her throat to gain the silver haired mans attention.
"Can I help you?" Sephiroth asked sarcastically.
"Yes you may." The woman replied as she fixed her glasses. "My name is Elle Woods and I am Miss Bona-." She cleared her throat. "Excuse me, Miss Shad's attorney."
Sephiroth paled slightly. This was not good. Lawyers were the worst of the worst, they could do anything.
"Now I have here a copy of W.T.F.'s contract, signed by you, and in section 3 paragraph 7 it states that you are not allowed to threaten or harm the creator of the show in anyway." Elle said, holding up the document. "If you choose to continue with this illegal action, I will be forced to take you to court, where Miss Shad will sue you for all you're worth."
Normally the would-be-god would not be threatened (much) by the mere mention of being taken to court, but all that pink was starting to give him a headache. And was it his imagination, or were those hearts he saw in her eyes. Yes, leaving seemed like a very good idea right now. "Very well, you win for now." Sephiroth said as he sheathed his sword. "But I will get my revenge." And with that he flew off, this time successfully exiting the building without any other mishaps.
"Thanks for your…never mind." Shad said as she realized that the blonde was drooling and had little hearts in her eyes. Shaking her head, she continued. "Ok everyone, that's it for tonight. Come back next time for more insane action on W.T.F." She said with one final wave to the camera. Muttering and shaking her head, Shad proceeded to drag the blonde haired woman off the stage with her as the camera faded to black.
Behind the scenes
"Hey Tex, this is Shad from W.T.F. I have a proposition for you." Shad said into the receiver. "I'd like you to come and fight on my show."
"For how much?" Tex asked, and Shad heard another voice and then what sounded like a 'thud' followed by a 'thump'.
"Well, I can't afford to pay you." Shad said. "But I can give you one match of your choosing. You can do anything you want."
"Hmm." Tex said thoughtfully. "Anything?"
"Yep, anything." Shad said with a smile.
"I'm game." Tex said after a moment of thought. "It'd be nice to get out of here for a little while too. The guys are becoming quite irritating."
"Great, well I'll see you tonight then. Bye." Shad said as she hung up the phone. One match was a small price to pay to have another match for the opening episode. Besides, whatever match Tex comes up with should be very interesting.
ooooo
"See Meryle, I told you I wouldn't get lost." The TV said.
"You idiot!" Meryle screamed at the TV. "I told you not to embarrass yourself." Pulling at her hair, she wondered for the thousandth time why she put up with the moron. Oh that's right, cause she likes him.
"Meryle, you shouldn't get so worked up. It's unhealthy." Millie said from her spot at the table. "Besides that just how Mr. Vash is."
Meryle sighed. "You're right, it's ju-" She suddenly paused and whipped back towards the TV.
"Hello beautiful lady, there is no need for you to fight any longer as I offer myself as your bodyguard. I will protect you even if it costs me my life." The image of Vash said.
"Now he's flirting!" Meryle screamed as she picked up the TV. "He's so dead!"
"Meryle, put the TV down, it didn't do anything to you." Millie said as she tried to stop her friend's wrath. "Besides, we haven't finished paying for it yet."
Unfortunately, her words went unheeded. "DIE!!" And thus the poor TV met with its demise.
ooooo
"I'd like to thank you for your participation." Shad said to the blonde actress. "And as promised, your payment." She said as she handed her an autographed picture of Sephiroth.
"Eeeeeeeee!" The actress screamed as she hugged the photo. "Thank you sooo much."
"It's no problem. Well, I'll see you later." Shad said as she escorted the woman to the door.
Giggling, the happy actress left with a huge smile on her face.
Closing the door, Shad shook her head. "Girls and their crushes. Maybe next time I should just fight Sephiroth myself and be done with it, won't he be in for a surprise then." Shad said with an evil gleam in her eye.
Fighter's Standings
Sephiroth—Beaten by Ryu, humiliated and banned from the show, permanently. Plots his revenge.
Ryu Hayabusa (Controlled by Kharma)—Beat Sephiroth, badly. Will fight, but not compete for belt.
Vash the Stampede—Beaten by Tex in exhibition match. No tokens awarded.
Tex—Beat Vash in exhibition match. No tokens awarded.
And now, for some after show fun, here are a few random anime trivia questions.
1.) In Trigun, what are the names of the two insurance ladies?
2.) In Outlaw Star, Aisha Clan-Clan is a member of what 'Mighty Empire'?
3.) In Descendants of Darkness, what is Dr. Muraki's first name?
4.) In Bleach, what is the name of Ichigo's zanpakuto?
5.) In Naruto Shippuden, who are the two Akatsuki members that kidnap Gaara?