Little drops
Rain. I like rain. Drops hitting the windowright beside me. It's impossible to look outside now, all the world is merely a blur. It shuts me inside, locks me in a cage where I can't get out and nobody can get in. It's comfortable. It's safe. Nobody can touch me here. I'm safe.
"Draco!" He pounds on the door, yelling at me. "Open the damned door, Draco! Now!" The pounding doesn't stop, it just goes on and on. And on. I cower in the corner, looking out of the window, trying to ignore the voice. it's still raining. I can't get out now. I can't get away from the voice.
"Draco, I'm going to break into the room if you don't open the door. you've shut yourself in there for two days. you need food, you idiot!"
The voice refuse to give up, it shoots little holes in my soul, hurting my brain. There are white spots floating before my eyes, and screams ringing in my ears.
Flash. Darkness all around. Straps and blind-folds, clothes tearing, skin bruising, skin being torn apart. Bleeding, hurting. Arms and legs bent in wrong directions, joints almost snapping, my whole body being torn apart. No. Stop. It hurts. Nobody hear my anguished screams, my desperate pleas for help. please. Please stop. I can't.... It's too much..... Flash.
The door has been abandoned. The voice, still hard and angry, is moving away and away until I can't hear it anymore. But I know it's there. It's never far away.
I'm alone again, in the slowly darkening day. The rain doesn't stop, I won't see the sun today. It's okay, really. The sun shines too hot, it burns too much. I feel like Gollum, I prefer the dark.
There is noise outside. I'm too tired to care, I just crawl in the direction of the opposite wall, trying to get away. My head doesn't like the noise. I hear voices, several, arguing. It's because of me. Always because of me.
Steps. Strange steps, like someone going on a path that is too narrow to walk on. It comes nearer, and nearer. I tremble, shiver, as if I'm cold. But i'm not.
The window breaks easily, the voice doesn't even have to hit hard. It's fragile, that window. I always knew i would break. I can see the outside world now. It's not a blur anymore. The rain drips into my room. I can smell it, damp and hot. Earthy. The cage has been broken, the world comes in. Crash. The illusion has been shattered. I'm not safe anymore.
The voice is in my room. In. My. Room. Invading my space. Violating me for the thousand time. The voice is here. Here. Close to me. Here. Always here. In my head, intruding on my thoughts. it shouldn't be here, I don't like it. Make it stop. Please?
It's speaking to me, covering in the corner by the bed. I try not to be here. The voice is, and I don't want to be.
"Draco, you have to come down and eat. I know you're young and rebellious, but you can't do anything you please, and you know it. So, come on now, come down. That's an order."
Flash. Back in pain. It feels like I'm not even in my body, yet I feel everything that's being done to it. Wounds opening; some slow, some fast. Blood pouring, trickling. Through the haze I hear stifled moans, I feel his hands gripping me where they shouldn't. I can't help but cry, and beg. please, please stop. Don't do it, don't..... Flash.
I get up from the floor, slowly and wearily, like someone rising from his deathbed. The rain still hasn't stopped. It never will.
"I'm coming, Father."
Rain. I like rain. Drops hitting the windowright beside me. It's impossible to look outside now, all the world is merely a blur. It shuts me inside, locks me in a cage where I can't get out and nobody can get in. It's comfortable. It's safe. Nobody can touch me here. I'm safe.
"Draco!" He pounds on the door, yelling at me. "Open the damned door, Draco! Now!" The pounding doesn't stop, it just goes on and on. And on. I cower in the corner, looking out of the window, trying to ignore the voice. it's still raining. I can't get out now. I can't get away from the voice.
"Draco, I'm going to break into the room if you don't open the door. you've shut yourself in there for two days. you need food, you idiot!"
The voice refuse to give up, it shoots little holes in my soul, hurting my brain. There are white spots floating before my eyes, and screams ringing in my ears.
Flash. Darkness all around. Straps and blind-folds, clothes tearing, skin bruising, skin being torn apart. Bleeding, hurting. Arms and legs bent in wrong directions, joints almost snapping, my whole body being torn apart. No. Stop. It hurts. Nobody hear my anguished screams, my desperate pleas for help. please. Please stop. I can't.... It's too much..... Flash.
The door has been abandoned. The voice, still hard and angry, is moving away and away until I can't hear it anymore. But I know it's there. It's never far away.
I'm alone again, in the slowly darkening day. The rain doesn't stop, I won't see the sun today. It's okay, really. The sun shines too hot, it burns too much. I feel like Gollum, I prefer the dark.
There is noise outside. I'm too tired to care, I just crawl in the direction of the opposite wall, trying to get away. My head doesn't like the noise. I hear voices, several, arguing. It's because of me. Always because of me.
Steps. Strange steps, like someone going on a path that is too narrow to walk on. It comes nearer, and nearer. I tremble, shiver, as if I'm cold. But i'm not.
The window breaks easily, the voice doesn't even have to hit hard. It's fragile, that window. I always knew i would break. I can see the outside world now. It's not a blur anymore. The rain drips into my room. I can smell it, damp and hot. Earthy. The cage has been broken, the world comes in. Crash. The illusion has been shattered. I'm not safe anymore.
The voice is in my room. In. My. Room. Invading my space. Violating me for the thousand time. The voice is here. Here. Close to me. Here. Always here. In my head, intruding on my thoughts. it shouldn't be here, I don't like it. Make it stop. Please?
It's speaking to me, covering in the corner by the bed. I try not to be here. The voice is, and I don't want to be.
"Draco, you have to come down and eat. I know you're young and rebellious, but you can't do anything you please, and you know it. So, come on now, come down. That's an order."
Flash. Back in pain. It feels like I'm not even in my body, yet I feel everything that's being done to it. Wounds opening; some slow, some fast. Blood pouring, trickling. Through the haze I hear stifled moans, I feel his hands gripping me where they shouldn't. I can't help but cry, and beg. please, please stop. Don't do it, don't..... Flash.
I get up from the floor, slowly and wearily, like someone rising from his deathbed. The rain still hasn't stopped. It never will.
"I'm coming, Father."