The Grissom Song
Disclaimer: CSI's not mine. The song is, though, but I'm not making money out of it (if only…)
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The Grissom Song
1
When you were already a doctor
- We all know it's true –
She was in kinder garden
But, hey! Toddlers like bugs too!
Grissom, Grissom
You better just chill out
Unless you're her real father
There's nothing to worry about
If you'll dance around each other
Do it to some reggaeton
Because that sooner or later
Will turn your baby on
2
If you need to give your beauty
Something a little bit stronger
Lift your head off of the 'scope
And take her to a rollercoaster
Grissom, Grissom
You better just chill out
Unless plants are not her thing
There's nothing to worry about
Don't be too hard on yourself
If your speech goes for a walk
For what she wants you for
It's not like you need to talk
3
She goes to movies with Hank
So you scare her away
But you're the one in her heart
And he's a jerk anyway
(Wasn't it your idea after all, honey?)
Grissom, Grissom
You better just chill out
Unless you're not smart enough
There's nothing to worry about
If you feel like you don't know
What to do about "this"
Here it is what she would say:
"Do a strip-tease!"
4
You're afraid that if you love her
All your strength will be gone
Yeah, it will come in handy
When you're dying all alone
Grissom, Grissom
You better just chill out
Unless you're Homer Simpson
There's nothing to worry about
Your job has been your life
But you don't have to go nuts
If there aren't other crime labs
You can work at Dunkin' Donuts
5
In these times of Hef and Woody
You might want to learn from them
Instead of being all moody
And so jealous over Greg
Grissom, Grissom
You better just chill out
Unless you have lost your touch
There's nothing to worry about
You're a lot more than her boss
You've learned to be there for her
When she needs you the most
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING TO F--- HER?!
6
She likes you in your shirt
And your straw hat from Hell
If that isn't love
You must ask what it is, then
Grissom, Grissom
You better just chill out
Unless you're dying from cancer
There's nothing to worry about
She might have her doubts
About you two moving together
But everything will be good
She's Sara, not Pleather
7
A killer has your lady
And you couldn't send a letter
If you two can get out of it
You better give it to her
Grissom, Grissom
You better just chill out
Unless you're on HBO
There's nothing to worry about
CBS' not letting
It's ratings go downhill
So you can be sure
Sara will be back home, Gil
8
She's safe and back now
But you're out in the open
It so looks like you're getting
Burned in Ecklie's oven
Grissom, Grissom
You better just chill out
Unless it can get worse
There's nothing to worry about
You can bet he has his secrets
You can point out where he's failed
Or you could go for a lawsuit
What about a little blackmail?
9
Grissom, Grissom
It's cool that you chill out
Now that everything's OK
There's nothing to worry about
But whenever I walk
To a room you two have been in
I'll make sure I bring in my purse
My can of Nonoxynol – 9
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V
It doesn't rhyme but it's true