Title: Tangled
Date: October 14, 2013
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Shingeki no Kyojin characters.
Levi was known to be cool and collected… silent but strong… precise and perfect. So as he's hanging upside down, wrapped in knots of iron wire it just had to be intentional. Right?
Tangled
Levi wasn't one to gloat… but he was the best.
Everyone knew it.
He knew it.
And he honestly didn't mind the rumours. He didn't mind the looks of admiration in the faces of his comrades, recruits, the civilians. The whispers that he was a lot more tougher and talented than the entire Military Police combined. The rumours that there was no one behind the wall better than him at using the three dimensional maneuver gear… although, honestly there wasn't anyone he could think of better than him. So he supposed they weren't rumours, so much as truths.
And he had that reputation to uphold…
… not that he had to put much effort into being the Scouting Legion's prodigal Levi.
Except… the other day he saw one of the new recruits do something absolutely fantastic during practice training. And it wasn't even one of the better newcomers! It was just some plain, uncharismatic newbie whom… he hasn't seen in a while, so was most likely eaten by some titan. Regardless, be it a stroke of luck or crazy natural talent, that (probably now dead) recruit was able to twist in the air, wires doing some spinning thing, blades swiftly slicing through the air like double lassoes or something before hooking into the wall and then bungee jumping to take hold of the handgrips once more.
It was insanely awesome!
And as everyone watched (jaws dropped in amazement), he had to do what was expected of him: cross his arms, shrug and pretend like he had done it numerous times in the past…
… except he hadn't.
So instead, he waited until the dead of night, determined to conquer that ridiculously cool looking move before the sun rose the next day. Unfortunately for him, after his first attempt he found himself hanging completely upside down, wrapped in knots of iron wire, unable to move his hands or legs. The best he could do was wiggle. So he wiggled… and wiggled… and wiggled… and made absolutely no progress.
He dreaded the sunrise…
… and what the sunrise would bring.
"Good morning Captain Levi." Hanji was always such an early riser.
He nodded his head. He had to play it cool.
"What are you doing?" She asked, tilting her head the slightest as through trying to get a better angle of him.
He had to think fast, "Abdominal workout."
"Hm…" Her glasses flashed, "Abdominal workout you say?"
He nodded his head. Just play it normal.
He could see her probing brown eyes do a once over… is this how Sawney and Bean (may they rest in peace) felt?
"Hm…" She hummed, eyes inquiring.
That's right… just pretend that his hands were supposed to be tied awkwardly behind his back like that.
A sudden grin made its way onto her face, "Alrighty then! You're always working hard! Don't put too much strain on your muscles!"
He slowly nodded his head once more.
And sighed out in relief, as she turned and walked away.
Despite making it past Hanji, there was still the glaring fact that he was still tied upside down and had absolutely no way-no how to get down from here. Dammit… if only he could reach for the handgrip… maybe with enough gas he could circle around and hopefully loosen these ridiculous knots. All he had to do was reach for it… reach for it…
"Captain Levi?"
Even though he was upside down, he could recognize that unhealthily strong smell of horse manure anywhere…
"Ness." He nodded in acknowledgement.
"Are you okay?" The aging man arched a brow.
"Abdominal workouts." He grunted, pretending to do a crunch. The story worked for Hanji… it should probably work for bandana guy with a weird fetish for his horse… what's its name again?
"Oh…" Horse man didn't sound too convinced.
He needed to play it cool and change the subject, "So… you're up early to feed the horses?"
"That's right! Shallot has such a healthy appetite. I know she's always got my back, the best I can do is make sure she has the best grub!" Ness gave a hearty laugh.
"Isn't that right?" He replied, really hoping for this guy to leave.
"She loves carrots! And apples. Can't get enough of them! I know I shouldn't spoil her, but Shallot deserves the best! I can't help but give her all her favourites!" Ness was irritatingly loud, and being loud meant-
"Oh! Ness you're up already! Going to visit Shallot?"
"Mike! Good morning!"
"I smell some apples on you."
"You got me!" Ness' volume got even louder.
"Levi… What are you doing?" Mike was frowning.
"Abdominal workouts." Ness explained, and he merely nodded his head.
"Oh." Mike was still frowning, "Like that?"
"How else do you do them?" He replied, keeping his voice casual like this was how he's always done his abdominal workouts.
"Okay." Mike nodded before turning to Ness, "I'm heading over to the stables too."
"Let's go." Ness replied, "I don't want to keep my Shallot waiting."
And he waited… until they were both out of sight. Thankfully, that guy's disgusting horse fetish was useful for once. Hopefully if he wiggles enough he can-
"Captain?"
Dammit! Who was it now?
He squinted his eyes to get a better look… It was… Hm… Definitely one of the new recruits. He couldn't quite place a name on that face, but… Oh! That was right! Jean or something along those lines. A pretty talented boy, a little too blunt not that he minded… he actually like that type of honesty. It was refreshing when surrounded by people who develop immediate god complexes after killing one measly titan (AKA: Auruo… that cocky rat-faced bastard… that beautiful chiselled jaw of his being his only redeeming feature). He was one of the better recruits, great at assessing situations and- Dammit!
"Do you need help getting down?" He hit that spot on.
As his childhood ever taught him: When caught in a lie, always… deny! Deny! Deny! Do nothing but deny!
"Maybe you need help getting up." He retorted, "These are the best abdominal exercises."
"Huh…" Jean didn't look convinced at all, "I… I won't tell anyone. I promise."
"Tell anyone what?" Now he just needed to stick to his story, "The secret to my amazing abs?"
"…" Jean wasn't impressed, "… Here, let me just…"
"Nope." He wiggled, hoping this nosy bastard would back away, "I need at least twenty more minutes of this to maintain my rock hard physique."
"Captain Levi, if I get you a ladder maybe… not saying you should use it. But if I left it beside you…"
"All our ladders are positioned at strategic locations, for quick evacuation in case of emergency." He gave the new recruit the darkest glare he could muster, "Do you see any emergency here?"
"N-No." The boy stuttered.
"Good then. Be on your way." He ordered.
"Yes sir."
And as he watched Jean's retreating back, something dawned on him… Dammit! He was still stuck! And a ladder would have actually been perfect for this situation. But then again… He couldn't lose face in front of this new recruit. He had a feeling this kid would probably live through for the next few missions… not saying that Jean would go back on his word and spread lies that the great Captain Levi was tangled in… Dammit! He was still tangled! But a thought came into mind…
What if he made one of those nameless (certainly to die next) character untie him down?
He racked his mind on possible candidates…
Oh! How about that boy… the one with the crew cut. Nothing particular outstanding about him. A plain face, no notable features. Half decent at the 3D Maneuver Gear… probably going to die soon and never utter this story to anyone.
"Levi?"
He breathed a sigh of relief… It was only Petra. She practically worshiped him… as she should. She would believe anything that came out of his mouth… as she should.
"Petra." He gave a firm nod. That was right… pretend like everything was normal.
"What are you doing?" She blinked.
"Abdominal workouts." He grunted.
A bright blush made its way onto her face… Good girl…
"Oh… I see." Petra kept darting her eyes away. She probably can't handle his clean-cut six pack.
"Say Petra," He started, "Who's that balding boy? Part of the 104th trainees squad? New recruit?"
"Hm…" She pressed her index finger against her lip, deep in thought.
"You know… the kid who comes from that southern town inside Wall Rose?" He added.
"Uh…"
"Plain looking." He described.
"Hm…"
"Not the brightest of all the colours." He pointed out.
"Oh!" Her eyes lit up, "Connie!"
"That's right… Connie." He practically spat out the name, "Can you get Connie here?"
"Sure thing!" She saluted.
That was right… Connie… It wasn't short for an awesome name like Conan, or Conrad, or Constantine. It was just Connie. Wonderfully plain, boring Connie. Next to die, swallowed alive, Connie. Beautiful, lovely Connie…
"Connie." He greeted upon seeing that brilliantly plain face upside down.
"Uh…" The boy fidgeted around nervously, "D-Did Captain Levi… Am I needed?"
He glanced over at Petra… Dammit… why did she come back too?
"You're not very outstanding." He pointed out, watching as the boy fretfully shuffled around. Why wasn't Petra leaving? She brought the boy, she can go.
"S-Sorry."
"Petra, can you grab his 3D Maneuver Gear?" Hopefully that'll give them enough time alone, "We're going to train together. I'm going to make sure you don't fall behind."
"Wow!" Petra looked amazed (as she should be), "I never knew you cared so much about your subordinates, Captain Levi! You're truly amazing! You're great! … I'll be right back!"
That was right… take your time…
He turned towards the plain looking boy, "So Connie, here's the deal-"
"Good morning Captain Levi." … FUCKING BULLSHIT!
He recognized the voices of Eren and his sidekicks: that girl who was probably a boy in disguise and that boy who was probably a girl in disguise. What terrible timing…
"What are you guys up to?" Eren asked, his voice a little too eager… always wanting to be the centre of attention… So what? He can turn into a naked monster. Nothing spectacular really… No need to parade around like he deserved the hero attention. Like sure… go on a rampage, throw those fists around like a baby tantrum, kill some titans. But using the Three Dimensional Maneuver Gear actually took skill. And sure he didn't want to brag, but he was known to be the guy with the highest skill.
That was right… Captain Levi of the Scouting Legion. The human races' most skilled badass… Tangled in his own wires… Crap faces!
"Captain Levi is going to help me develop a six pack." His precious dimwitted Connie explained.
"A six pack?" Eren was frowning, "Can I join?"
"No." He practically growled, "Only Connie."
"How about me?" That blond boy asked, and he was pretty sure he was a blond girl… damn… he'd make one pretty girl.
"Only Connie." He repeated.
"Like this?" That half Asian girl… Might be a high possibility of being a half Asian boy, anchored the hook of her 3D Maneuver Gear onto the wall, flipping over so she too was upside down… show off. No one liked a show off… raw natural talent whatever. She wasn't as good as him… No one was as good as him.
"I'm back!"
Dammit all to hell!
"Can you help me up Petra?" Connie… Not his only hope…
"Mikasa, are you going to stay?" Eren was talking to his girlfriend or sister… or whatever they were.
"Coming." She did a little flip; landing on her feet… untangled show off… with her freak obsession with her freak of a monster brother and… He really didn't mean to sound so bitter… but he's been hanging upside down since last night and the blood was really rushing to his head and he could feel his chest tighten uncomfortably… he wasn't going to cry… the great Captain Levi doesn't cry… but it was just so frustrating! This whole thing is just so frustrating!
"Keep up the hard work Captain Levi." That little blond boy saluted… such a good kid…
"Captain Levi… Is this right?" Connie was upside down… and wrapped in knots of iron wires… Shit. This was the worst situation possible.
"G-Good…" He couldn't stop his voice from cracking… he was fucked… No… he was completely fucked and now stuck with the Scouting Legion's dullest member. And to think… he was going to die like this… next to freaking Connie. Now he really felt like crying…
"Well, I'll leave you two hanging." Petra followed in the direction of Eren and friends.
And if he could untie his hand and reach forward, he would have… because he really didn't want to be left alone, inescapably tied up next to… Connie.
"So now what?" The idiot seemed all too eager to learn.
"We wiggle."
"And I'll get abs like this?" Connie seemed impressed.
"Sure… Whatever."
And they wiggled… and wiggled… and-
"I just realized something." Connie's face scrunched up, like he was using that puny brain for once, "… Captain Levi… Are we stuck?"
"… Maybe you are." That was right… Deny, deny, always deny.
"This is starting to hurt… Can you help me down?"
He could only deny for so long, "Yea… We're stuck."
The End.
This is my first story for this fandom… So I really hope you all like this fic! Thanks for reading! And please tell me what you think!