Author's Note: Reviews from 'No Words' inadvertently prompted this. Spoilers for 4x04. I'm not anti-Chandler... it's just where my muse took me again.

Random Stranger

Tom had imagined this day for 486 days, he'd wondered what it feel like. Would be like old times? Would it feel like putting on a comfortable pair of shoes? Would it feel right? Would he be welcomed back? So many questions, so many scenarios and he didn't expect a tickitape parade, nor did he expect a fanfare.

He'd had dreams about it, about still being on the ship, still being Captain. The dreams he was always sidelined, he always felt out of place like he no longer belonged. That no one needed him anymore. He'd wake up feeling empty and anxiety ridden as he hated the feeling of years of hard work and building relationships could be gone forever.

That same feeling filled him right now as he stood in the closed up Helo bay. He'd met up with Sasha and the rest of Vulture team. He'd immediately butted heads with James, MI5 agent that everyone trusted. The man who replaced him in more ways than one. Azima, a new recruit; introduced herself, telling him it was an honour to meet him. The others were with him but he felt a wall between himself and them. Like they trusted him but it had limitations unlike before when he wore a uniform and had their undying devotion.

Sasha? well she went between annoyed and indifferent. Indifferent because she clearly moved on from him and their kiss. Annoyed because he overstepped his position as a team mate taking control of the situation and giving orders. Just like old times, but it wasn't the old times at all. He couldn't help himself, he knew she was a capable operator. It was never in question, it was that he was impatient and driven to find his best friend. But she hadn't appreciated what she probably felt was his lack of faith in her.

Now, they all returned to the ship. He walked in last, his breath stuck in his throat as he felt like he'd walked onto a different ship. The sailors barely noted his presence. No one came up to debrief him, to give him an update status on the Nathan James... You're not the Captain anymore... he reminded himself. Mike was, then who ever was XO stood in Mike's steed until he was back on his feet. Tom was now the equivalent of just some random stranger.

He watched as the teams disarmed themselves and passed their gear over to the Master of Arms and his team. His eyes landed on Sasha first, to find her fussing over James and his injury. It was barely a graze but the fact she put importance on it and James. It made him realise that this was the man she moved on with. James reassured her he was fine and she smiled at him. A smile that should've been for you... a dark voice in his head told him.

He watched waiting for her to look at him. Silently begging her to look at him, but she didn't, she had lost sense of him as he knew she wasn't blatantly ignoring him. She had moved on and he lost his pull on her. He looked away unable to watch her any longer when his eyes landed on Kat.

She looked at him, watching him just as he did her. He didn't know what to expect from her. But he had to admit the flash of anger and resigned disappointment seemed appropriate as she looked away to speak to another crew member. He should've been there for her when Tex died, should've written a letter in his absence. Anything, but he hadn't and he had learned over the months that there were a lot of things he should've done differently that couldn't changed.

He looked to the others, unsure where to go or what to do. No one seemed to care, at least it felt that way until Jeter came through the centre of the room and stopped. He and Tom locked eyes, Tom waited for anger or indifference but instead, the man looked hopeful, he looked grateful to see Tom. He rose his left hand and saluted Tom.

Tom just stared at the respect Jeter was displaying, it touched him but it also stung as there were over 15 people in the room. Not one of them joined in, they watched with closed expressions and Tom could only interpret as 'Why is he saluting the leader who completely abandoned us?'. Tom wanted to return the salute but he kept his arm down out of respect of the crew, he wasn't one of them anymore. That cold realisation, deeply pained him more than he ever expected.

End