The Holiday Office Party

by Scout24

Nathan and Haley find themselves confronting the reality that their feelings for one another go beyond friendship. Nothing like a holiday party to help one realize that they are in love with their best friend.

1. The Realization

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill. It is of course belongs to Mark Schwahn and the CW. Anything you recognize from the show are not of my creation.

AN: It has been so long since I have posted, that it feels somewhat strange to do so. But nevertheless it feels good to be back and posting again. I know I've been gone for a fairly long time, which I first want to addresses by apologizing. I've had an amazing time writing for this fandom and being able to share my stories, especially because of the support I have gotten from so many. I can't find the appropriate words to express my gratitude, but I do hope that thank you, although simple, conveys my appreciation for all that have been so amazingly supportive of me throughout my several writing endeavors. It means the world to me and I apologize for being away for so long and not in much contact. I'm not one to make excuses, so I will just say that life has gotten a bit hectic in the past couple of months and as a result, my writing unfortunately has been neglected. However, recently I had a stroke of inspiration and used that fire to produce this story. I'm hoping that this inspiration will continue to burn and maybe result in some more writing. For those of you who have followed me in the past, I have opened up my PM once more if you want to message me. Please feel free.

This is an AU story, that focuses of course on Nathan and Haley. It will be a two parter.

I hope you all enjoy it.

Haley James felt some laughter bubble in her throat as she took in the scene before her. Bringing her glass of white wine to her lips, she took a slow slip as she attempted to hide and muffle her laughter, to no avail. It came out in a light lilt, causing her to cover her mouth in order to shield from her co-workers the fact that she was laughing.

She didn't know why she was trying so hard not to laugh. All her co-workers were. After all, it wasn't everyday you saw your boss in a drunken stupor, walking around in a santa hat, singing Christmas carols at the top of his lungs. Definitely not an every day occurrence, especially since in the year that she had known Doug Johnson he had always walked around with an air of dignity befitting the senior partner of one of New York City's leading law firms.

She remembered when she had come into the firm for her first interview, a complete nervous wreck, which was only increased when she met Doug Johnson. She had taken in his starched white shirt, pressed suit, buffed shoes, monogramed cuff links, confident stance, and knew he was as serious as they came. Doug Johnson didn't take things lightly, not at all. He had made that quite clear when he and his law partner Thomas Macnamara welcomed her into the firm, telling her that although they led a law firm that welcomed the intellect, drive, and ambition of newly minted lawyers, they expected that the young lawyers they hired to represent their law firm did so with the dignity befitting a successful team. For them, tom foolery was not only a waste of time but also a waste of intellect, a sign of a lack of respect. She supposed however, that that very dignified outlook on life had been lost on Doug Johnson tonight as she him break into a rendition of 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause' complete with cursing and innuendo.

Laughing once more, she tried again to hide her laughter, realizing she did a poor job when Joe from the finance department gave her a small knowing smirk in response. If she didn't think it was inappropriate she might roll her eyes, or hell flip him off at the display. Not normal behavior for her by any stretch of the imagination, but when it came to Joe Turner he was the exception.

He was a good fifteen feet away from her, thank goodness, and yet she could still feel the sleaziness that always seemed to hang around him as if it was permeating her skin. He was a creep to be completely honest. The guy in the office, who if he wasn't asking a female co-worker out, was instead blatantly checking her out. He had done both with her, numerous times, which all added to why she found him completely repulsive. That and the fact that he did those things as a married man, his gold wedding ring shimmering on his ring finger for all to see.

When she had been hired a year ago, as an associate for the law firm of Johnson & Macnamara, Joe had been one of the first of her co-workers to greet her. She had made the mistake of being friendly to him, shaking his hand in greeting when he had held his own out to her. Of course at that point she hadn't known the kind of person he was. Immoral and reprehensible. That and she was raised to always be polite, no matter what the circumstances. However, after he had held on to her hand for far too long and then followed that up by asking her out for drink that night, breakfast in the morning, she had gotten a pretty clear picture of the kind of person Joe Turner was.

Of course she had decided to give him a chance. Not only had she been taught by her parents to always be polite, they had also taught her to always give a person a chance. Don't judge a person until you really get to know him. That was the James Family motto for which she had stood by her whole life. So she decided to do just that, heading warnings she got from people who were well acquainted with Joe and his ways. She as quick to learn that those warnings, that her gut instincts had been right. The gut instincts she had felt when she had first met Joe, the instincts that told her to keep away from him, to try to avoid him as best she could, had turned out to be right.

About a month into working at the law firm, she had gone down to the Accounting Department to deliver a payment that one of her clients had given her. Joe had unfortunately been the only one around who could handle billing and so she had no choice but to seek his assistance. At first things had been fine, he had been nice, helpful, polite, but fifteen minutes later he was asking her out for a drink once again, placing his hand on her shoulder as he did so. It had taken her every once of control and decorum, not to slap his hand away, before kneeing him in the groin. She had after all grown up with two older brothers, a male friends. That's exactly what they would have encouraged her to do, and then some. But she had restrained herself, shrugging his hand off her shoulder before making her way back to her office.

Since then she had done a pretty good job at avoiding him for the most part, which wasn't too hard now since she had a secretary who could bring her clients' bills and anything financial down to the accounting department for her. Initially she had felt bad about subjecting her secretary to Joe. In all honesty Joe was pretty harmless. A bit sleazy, somewhat inappropriate, but pretty much harmless. Yet with a female secretary it just hadn't sat right with her to send the secretary down to accounting to deal with Joe. In fact, it had plagued her so much so that for the first three weeks that she had a secretary she had made all her deliveries to Accounting herself. However, that had stopped when she became well aware of the fact that her secretary, Peyton Sawyer, could hold her own.

She should have realized of course that Peyton would be able to deal with Joe from day one. Peyton was as feisty, strong willed, and confident as they come. It was one of the main reasons why she had hired Peyton in the first place. In fact, Peyton had said during her interview that she didn't "deal with the bullshit."

At first, she had been rather taken aback that someone would use such language during an interview at a prestigious law firm nonetheless. But she had soon found herself respecting the conviction with which Peyton had said those words. Peyton had been completely honest, trying to provide true insight into who she was as a person, and she had found herself quickly admiring Peyton's candidness. After an hour interview, she had been able to tell rather easily that Peyton was just the kind of person she needed as a secretary. A secretary who could handle the fast paced world of a law firm, be collected, confident, as well as hard working and diligent.

She found out rather quickly, that Peyton was all that and more, when four months ago, Peyton not only took it upon herself to go down to Accounting to deliver a client's bill, but also took it upon herself to let Joe know just how sleazy he was.

She hadn't actually seen the encounter between Peyton and Joe go down, but she had heard through the office grapevine that when Joe had asked Peyton out for drinks and then made the fool hardy mistake of putting his hand on her waist, she had quickly smacked his hand off before explaining to him the physical harm she would inflict upon him if he ever touched her again.

Okay fine, Peyton had said way more than that. From the rumblings she had heard from her very impressed co-workers, many of the threats were ones she could not repeat, not even in her mind, for fear of blushing a deep bright red. But she was proud of Peyton. Very proud. Proud to have a secretary that could more than hold her own.

A secretary. Her secretary.

She couldn't help but let out another laugh, this one however not having to do with amusement, but rather one having to do with disbelief. It was the same laugh of disbelief she had let out when Doug Johnson and Thomas Macnamara had called her into the law firm's boardroom one day, six months months ago, and had told her that not only were they giving her a promotion, but they were also going to provide her with a better office and a secretary.

As a lawyer fairly fresh from law school, a junior associate who had only been working at the law firm at that point for six months, it had been quite the shock. Hence the laugh of disbelief. She remembered asking Doug and Thomas if they were sure, positive that she was the the tail end of an elaborate joke. Silly question to ask your bosses, especially one of them was Doug Johnson. Of course Doug wasn't the joking type, but Thomas who was the polar opposite of Doug in every way, was.

Thomas was an incredible lawyer, smart, and highly skilled, but he was also more laid back and easy going. He was the type of boss who dropped by your office to catch up with you, not on how your latest case was going but instead to see how your spouse was, your family, your friends. He was kind and complimentary in a way that Doug Johnson most certainly wasn't. So practical joking was definitely Thomas' style.

But Thomas had not been joking, a fact she had become well aware of, when after she had finally quieted her laughing, she had looked up to see Doug and Thomas' very serious faces. She remembered praying then and there for the ground to open up and swallow her whole, her face blushing profusely in a manner that it hadn't done since she was in high school and had gotten herself in another embarrassing mishap in front the entire student body. Needless to say, when Doug and Thomas had asked her if she wanted the position, she at first couldn't find her voice to respond. She was sure she must have stared at them for a good minute, trying take in all that had happened. Their proposal, the fact that she had laughed like an imbecile in front of her bosses, two men whom she greatly respected and aspired to be, two men she was sure thought that they had just offered a very much sought after job to a crazed person. But when Thomas' repeated the offer, before giving her a kind smile, she had snapped out of her small reverie and had said yes. Yes…..about one hundred times, all in succession. Yes, yes, yes.

Of course she had said yes. The offer had only been one which she had been striving for her whole life. Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic. She hadn't exactly been striving to be a lawyer her entire life. Hell when she was five years old she had wanted to be a ballerina. However, that was until she almost drowned in the play balls at a local kid's indoor jungle gym and realized rather quickly that grace and poise just wasn't her forte. But two years later she had begun to dream about being a lawyer. Not exactly the typical dream of a seven year old, but then again she had never been a typical seven year old.

Like most kids her age she had spent most of her days being a kid, playing tag with her best friend Lucas, building forts, conquering jungle gyms, playing pick up games of basketball. Yet when she hadn't been doing those things, she was reading books, thinking, reflecting…...planning. Planning her future.

Yes, it sounded a bit ludicrous to her own ears. A seven year old planning their future. Okay fine, it was actually preposterous, but it was the reality. She had been a carefree, spirited child, and in so many ways she still was, but she had also liked order, plans, and certainty, very much in fact. So at the age of seven after a good friend of her parents had visited the family and regaled them with tales of her life as a lawyer, crusading for what was just and right, helping those who were given no voice, fighting to defend issues dear to her heart, she had known she had wanted to be a lawyer.

Everything she had done after that point had been in pursuit of that goal. She worked hard in school, especially high school, devoting herself to her academics. After four years her hard work paid off when she was accepted to Stanford University. There she continued to throw most of her energy into her studies. College had given her the challenge she needed, as well as the opportunity to focus her energy on law, as a pre-law major. It hand't been easy, especially what with balancing classes, two jobs, and other responsibilities, but she was able to survive, getting accepted into law school her senior year. If she had thought college had been a challenge, it hadn't compared to law school. It was at law school that she discovered that working hard, putting forth all of one's energy, striving diligently for a goal, did not always means things would go smoothly. It was a true reality check for her, for someone who had done so well in school, often surpassing her classmates. During her first year she found herself barely surviving, the coursework so hard, the dedication required often demanding so much of her that she had felt herself getting lost in the demands. But after a few months of continuing to focus her energy and the support of her friends and family, she was able to find some solid ground. From there she excelled, and graduated law school at the top of her class, with a magna cum laude degree.

She had been proud of herself, very proud. For working hard, for pursing her dream, for following her heart. Her family had been very proud as well, especially her parents. Of course at the celebratory party they threw for her the day she graduated law school, they had told her that she had sold out to the man. They had been joking of course, well half joking. As two very liberal social crusaders, her mother a photo journalist, her father a social worker, they had been a slightly appalled when their youngest daughter decided to take a position at a corporate law firm in New York City. Her father had said she had fallen into the slimy hands of the 'corporate leeches' who sucked the life out of the world,. But they had known her heart, had known that her intentions for taking a job at a corporate law firm was so that she could build enough capital in order to one day start her own firm. One that would be established to serve those who did not have a voice, those who were often taken advantage of by society, shunned by it, with little to no recourse. Plus, taking a job at a corporate law firm gave her the means to do pro-bono work until she was able to establish her own law firm. So her parents gave her their blessings, telling her that they were proud of her, that they would always be proud of her no matter what.

Macnamara, Johnson, and Associates truly was the ideal place to help foster the long term goals she had, which was one of the reasons why she decided to take the job they had offered her a year ago. However, initially accepting the offer had actually been hard, far harder than she imagined. Hard because working at Macnamara, Johnson, and Associates meant she had to leave behind her home in Tree HIll, North Carolina in order to move to New York City.

She had grown up in Tree Hill, North Carolina, had made memories with her family, had created long lasting friendships, had become so much of the person she was today in the small southern town. So it was hard leaving, even painful. She loved her home. It was a part of her.

Of course to most, Tree Hill, North Carolina was barely a blip on their radar. A small North Carolinian town few people knew about. But it was her home. A home she had loved, a home she still loved….and missed.

She missed the house she had grown up in. The house that she and her five brothers and sisters used to run around, making loud booming noise, so much so that the neighbors would drop by to complain, only making her mother encourage them to make even more noise. She missed the summer days she used to spend at Tree Hill's River Court. It was a dilapidated basketball court that few people paid attention to, but it was where she had spent so much of her childhood with Luke and her other friends, Mouth, Junk, Fergie, and Skillz. Sometimes she would play ball with them, although she had never been good, certainly not as good as they had been. Most of the time, she would sit on the warm metal benches that lined the court reading a book, watching every now and then as the guys would run up and down the court. She missed the afternoons she used to spend down at the Tree Hill Marina, looking out into the crystal blue water, often times loosing track of time, sometimes on purpose so that she could see the sun set over the town she loved, the water of the marina looking as though it would swallow the sun. She missed going into Karen's Cafe, the diner owned by Luke's mother, her second mother. Most of her childhood had been spent in the cafe, often on the roof playing on the miniature golf course Luke's father, Dan, had helped them built. Karen's Cafe had been a part of her which was why she had begun working there as soon as she could, saving up money to pay towards her college education. It was a perfect job. Karen had been a wonderful boss, the cafe a comforting place to be, the people of the town so friendly. She supposed that was what she missed most about Tree Hill: the people.

With Tree Hill being so small it was easy to know everyone in the town. It was not uncommon to walk into any place in town and be greeted by name, walk down the street and see a familiar smile looking back. That was hard to find in a big city like New York. She missed the comfort she used to feel knowing those around her, but most of all she missed the comfort of being around her family, her friends. She was very close to her family, pretty inevitable when you grow up in a small house with seven people. But it was more than that. They all had varying personalities, could clash and fight, like no one else, but they worked. They blended perfectly, knew each other so well, loved one another fiercely. It was hard being away from them. While her older brother Brian and older sister Vivian lived a couple of hours away from home, her other siblings lived either in Tree HIll or a few towns over. Being in New York, she was the one who lived the farthest, which was not always easy.

Yet while missing out on time with her family was hard, missing out on time with her friends like Luke was also hard. While she was close to her family, she was really close to Lucas. They had grown up together, had done so much together, were practically brother and sister. But since she moved to New York she had rarely gotten to see Lucas, since he lived in Tree Hill with his wife Lindsey and their newborn baby girl. The last time she had seen him, was about two months ago when Lucas had to make a trip to his publishers in New York to talk about an edit to one of the books he was currently writing.

Meeting up with Lucas in the city, being able to spend some time with him, had really reminded of her of the old adage 'there's no place like home.' There really wasn't. Which was why she was happy Christmas was in a few days. It meant she could head back home. She wouldn't be able to stay long, would have to return in order to come back to work, but even a few days in Tree Hill was a blessing. It was a few days that would allow her to go see Karen at the cafe, drink some coffee and eat the best apple pie, as she and Karen talked and laughed. It was a few days that would allow her to enjoy her family's annual Christmas festivities, where she was sure to see her brothers and sisters, Lucas and Lindsey and her new god daughter, Karen and Dan, and others that were close to her heart. It was a few days that would allow her to go down to the Marina, sip from a hot cup of hot chocolate as she watched the sun setting over the water as she had done so many times as a little girl.

She missed home. But that didn't mean that she didn't love New York. She did. A lot actually. The city was beautiful, spectacularly so. It may be difficult to walk down the street and see a familiar face like in Tree Hill, but that was because there were so many different and new people in the city. She liked that. Liked the fact that the city offered her the ability to gain new experiences. For someone who had lived in the same town all her life, for someone who was so used to doing precisely what was expected of her, doing precisely what she thought was expected of her because the people around her knew exactly who she was, she was able to step away from that. She didn't go too far of course. She was Haley James after all and staying within the parameters of rules, order, and expectations was a piece of who she was. But she had been able to push herself in the city, push her limits, find pieces of herself that she was sure she wouldn't have had the courage to look for had she not lived in the city.

It was hard being away from family and friends but she had carved out a life for herself. She had made a home, found places to love, friends to hold dear. It had been a hard transition but she had done it by trusting in herself and with the help of people that cared so much about her like Peyton, Peyton's husband Jake, their friends Sarah and Clay…...Nathan.

She smiled softly before coming out of her thoughts in order to scan the room around her. There were a lot of people around., Johnson, McNamara, and Associates was a big law firm after all, with two hundred and fifty lawyers, fifty paralegals, fifteen accountants, ten computer analysts, and scores of secretaries, assistants, and interns. They housed five floors of an office building in lower Manhattan, which was helpful, as the building had a large room where they were hosting tonight's festivities. It was a packed house with mostly every employee there, along with the spouses and friends that they had brought along to enjoy the night. It was so packed in fact, that it was rather hard to make one's way through the room without literally bumping into people. Luckily though, since she had arrived early she was able to find a spot in the room that afforded her some breathing room. It also gave her the ability to take in the entire room quite easily. She couldn't help but feel another smile come to her face as she did so.

Normally, every year the partners paid someone thousands of dollars to set up the firm's event room for the annual holiday party. Not only was paying someone to set up the party, seen by the partners as convenient due to the lack of time they had, but it also got them out of doing what they all saw as a painful task. It wasn't exactly shocking. She couldn't imagine Doug Johnson, Thomas Macnamara, or any of the other partners for that matter spending days on end decorating for the holiday. For people who saw little to no value in pomp and circumstance, whose free time was spent at the racquet ball club or a golf course, such an activity as holiday decorating wasn't exactly their cup of tea.

But it was her cup of tea. She loved decorating for the holidays, had since she was a little girl and her family would spend a whole day decorating her house for Christmas. Some of her favorite memories from her childhood came from those days. Memories of making Christmas cookies with her mother and sisters, as her father and brothers set up the Christmas Tree in the family living room. Memories of decorating the Christmas Tree with their family ornaments, all of them reliving stories of when they had gotten the ornaments, each one with its own special story. Memories of sitting around the Christmas Tree when they were finally done with all the decorating, eating cookies and sipping hot chocolate, singing Christmas songs and reliving their shared memories of Christmas. Her family had always gone all out for Christmas, her parents insisting they do all the decorating together. She remembered sometimes her older siblings complaining about the fact, especially as they got older and found some of their decorating traditions 'lame,' but she had always loved it. They had been a close family, had done so many things together, but it was during the Christmas season that she could always feel an overwhelming sense of closeness between them. It was the main reason for why she had volunteered to decorate for the holiday Christmas party.

The promotion that she recently got did not just come with a new office and secretary but also more cases to work on. She wasn't complaining. She admittedly was a workaholic, had been since she was a little girl and would ask her teachers for extra assignments. She liked work, it kept her busy, motivated, and focused, but the unfortunate part about having so much, at least right now, was that she wasn't going to be able to head back home to Tree Hill until Christmas Eve. As a result she was going to miss a number of the James family traditions. For the most part she had been able to keep her disappointment and sadness over the fact to a minimum. In the history of the firm, no one as young or as new to the firm had achieved such an accomplishment. But it was still difficult knowing she was going to miss doing certain Christmas traditions with her family, traditions she always looked forward to every year with anticipation and happiness. So she had volunteered to decorate for the firm's annual Christmas party as a means to ease.

She had known it wouldn't be the same. That decorating for the firm's annual Christmas party would not bring her the same joy she got when she decorated with her family for the holidays. There would be no food shopping with her mother for the ingredients they needed for the Christmas feast her mother and Karen always cooked. There would be no giggling with her sisters as they watched their father and brothers struggle to get the Christmas lights up on the exterior of the house, a mishap or small accident happening without fail. There would be no Christmas movie watching with Lucas as they sat comfortably on her family's overused couch, munching on popcorn. But even with those realizations she had figured that decorating for the firm's holiday party would at least give her some means to feel close to her family.

That of course was before it dawned on her that decorating a Christmas party for over two hundred people was not even close to being the same as decorating for her family's annual holiday get together. Granted, during Christmas Day her family had the entire James clan over, including her grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, as well as close family friends like the Scotts. It was often hectic at her house, especially since the eccentrics didn't stop at just her immediate family. Yet even taking into account her screaming nieces and nephews, her grandmother who always drank way too much of the spiked egg nog, and her crazy uncle Pete who managed to hit on at least one female member of the family, none of it compared to the craziness she had been dealing with the past two weeks as she prepared for the firm's annual holiday party.

Of course she had been warned. First, by the partners who had been weary of her taking on such a project when she was already knee deep in cases. But she assured them she could handle it, explaining to them that juggling many things was something she was more than used to, something she liked to do. Yet even with her assurances she could see that they were still hesitant about her taking on decorating for the holiday party, which had only made her that more determined to do it. This of course led to Peyton, Jake, Sarah, Clay, and Nathan all telling her that what she had volunteered to do maybe wasn't such a good idea. Like the partners they had told her that she had way too much on her plate, only to add to it. But like she had done with the partners she had assured them that she would be fine. Fine because once again she had found herself determined to do what she had volunteered to do. She hated backing out of things, just as much as she hated not finishing something, but most of all she hated accepting defeat. Stubbornness. It was one of her best qualities and her worst.

The past two weeks she had cursed her stubbornness and her inability to shy away from a challenge, as she had found herself overwhelmed with the details of setting up the party. She had known she was in way over her head when the firm's head secretary dropped by her office to deliver the list of people the partners wanted her to invite. Two hundred and fifty people. Two hundred and fifty people. That was how many people the partners had wanted her to invite, the same number she had repeated over and over again, not only to herself but to Peyton, Jake, Sarah, Clay, and Nathan when they went out that night for drinks. Two hundred and fifty people she had to feed, entertain, and impress. Impress because she had known she was not only being watched by the partners, but by the people around her. Twenty-six years old, fresh out of law school, almost a year into the law firm, and she had been given a promotion that most people who started out in the same position as she, had worked years to achieve.

She had been screwed. So screwed.

But her friends hadn't told her that. Not even Peyton who was as blunt and scathingly honest as they come. They didn't even tell her they had told her so. Instead for four hours that night they had sat with her at the bar helping her map out how she was going to create a holiday party for the firm.

Some of the ideas they had shot around had been good, some had been terrible, really terrible to be quite honest, especially as the night wore on and more beer was passed around amongst them. But she remembered taking it all in and feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness. Happiness when she, Peyton, and Sarah poked fun at the guys for suggesting that the menu should include beer and wings. Just that. Nothing else. Happiness when they all screamed 'no' when Peyton offered to help bake the cookies for the party. Peyton was an awful cook. Awful. Happiness, when she got Nathan, who was not one for holidays, to agree to dress up as Santa Claus for the party. Of course she had to bribe him by promising to come over to his apartment every night for a month to make dinner, saying her cooking reminded him so much of his mother's. But it was well worth it.

It had been a good night, a great night, and it had helped her in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Helped because Peyton, Jake, Clay, Sarah….Nathan…..they were like her own little family in New York. It amazed her sometimes, the fact that in just a few months, she was so close to them. Of course she had known Nathan all her life, but Peyton, Jake, Sarah, and Clay had only come into her life a few months ago, and yet like her family she couldn't imagine her life without them. They were important to her, special to her, and looking around the room she couldn't help but be reminded why.

Not only had the five of her friends helped her brainstorm that night at the bar for the firm's holiday party, they had also helped her set up for the party as well. It had been quite a two week project for all of them, which had culminated last night when the six of them spent practically the entire night decorating the room. To be exact, it had taken them about seven hours, four bottles of wine, two pizzas, some talking, some laughing, hell even some bickering back and forth, but they finished, the room looking fantastic as a result.

Looking straight across from where she was standing in the room she could see the Christmas stockings that Sarah and Clay had put up on the wall. Sarah who was a Kindergarten teacher had actually gotten some of her students to help her put some of them together. The rest had been left up to Clay to help her with, which hadn't turned out so well when he arrived last night to help with glitter literally everywhere on him. His clothes, in his hair, on his face. It had been quite the look for one of Manhattan's leading stockbrokers, a fact which Clay had lamented, saying there was no way he was going to work looking like a walking Christmas ornament. It had been amusing of course, even more amusing this morning when Sarah called her and told her that it had taken a hour and half shower, some primping, and some of Sarah's make up remover to take the glitter off. Even then Sarah had said there was still some left on Clay, confessing that she hadn't told Clay, finding herself humored by seeing her husband head to work with glitter still strewn through out his hair.

She laughed to herself at the thought, turning to take in the drawings that they had spent a good hour posting up on the wall. They hadn't allowed Peyton to cook for the party, hell no. She hadn't wanted to risk making people sick, especially her bosses. But they had allowed Peyton to make most of the artwork for the party. Besides being an incredible, wife, mother, and secretary, Peyton Sawyer was incredible artist. It was her passion, had been since she was a little girl and her parents had given her a watercolor set for her birthday. Peyton had fallen in love with art and so it became deeply ingrained in her life. Peyton had focused on art in high school, had majored in it in college, and it had been the major driving force for why she chose to move from Maine to Manhattan three years ago. However, Peyton pursing art in Manhattan was not so easy, especially once she was married, and then pregnant shortly thereafter. With rent, bills, and other expenses that were a natural part of life, Peyton had been forced to take a job to supplement her artistic endeavors. The ad for a new secretary, that she had put in a local help wanted newspaper had been one of the first few that Peyton had seen. A stroke of serendipity if you asked her.

Sometimes she couldn't help but feel slightly guilty about Peyton being with her. She and Peyton were very close and so she knew just how talented her friend was. So talented that Peyton being her secretary just felt…..wrong. Like she was being held back from what she was born to do. But she couldn't deny how much she loved having Peyton as her secretary. They were complete opposites with Peyton being blunt, a little corse, cynical, yet laid back whereas she was even-tempered, kind, patient, yet neurotic. It was their differences that made them work so well both as friends and in the work place. When she was stressing out over a case, it was Peyton who told her to snap the hell out of it. Literally. When she needed to take a stern stance with one of her clients, it was Peyton who helped encourage her to do so. When she was dealing with balancing life and work it was Peyton who reminded her that while work was important, it was a small importance in comparison to all the other things she had in her life. She honestly needed Peyton in her life, as she kept her sane most of her days, but Peyton also needed an outlet for her artistic energy. She was glad the party had given that to Peyton.

The art Peyton had done for the party was absolutely gorgeous, it really was. There were paintings upon paintings of winter scenes hung up on the walls that were shockingly sentimental and heartfelt. It was rather unlike Peyton, who was a little dark, her paintings a bit depressing. Of course she loved that about Peyton's artwork, most of her paintings having the power to evoke emotions and feelings within her, but dark and depressing were not exactly a good theme for the holidays. But Peyton had stayed away from her normal themes making paintings of winter landscapes, children sledding, people caroling. She had no idea how Peyton had found the time to make the ten paintings that she had, but she was so grateful as the artwork added a little extra something to the party.

Smiling to herself at her thoughts, she was broken out of them when she heard Doug Johnson break out into yet another song, this time "Winter Wonderland."

She was going to kill the boys for putting so much damn rum into the egg nog. Seriously. Then again she supposed it was her own fault for giving them the task of setting up the bar last night, so she, Peyton, and Sarah could focus on setting up some of the cocktail tables she had ordered. By the the time she had reached the boys, they had already poured a bottle and half of rum in the egg nog she had made. She had chastised them of course to which the boys responded, by joking that the spirits they had added to the egg nog would be sure make for a really fun Christmas party, since it would lighten up a room full of stiff, lifeless lawyers. She had laughed at that.

So far it had been fun, thank goodness, but some people like Doug Johnson were definitely having too much fun. Not only had her boss been breaking out into Christmas songs every time the music mix Jake had made for the party played one, he had also been going around the party engaging in other behavior that was definitely not typical for him. The highlight had been an hour ago when he had grabbed his wife of forty nine years and proceeded to kiss her over and over again, claiming she had been standing under mistletoe. She had been standing under a Christmas wreath.

She couldn't help but laugh to herself as the scene played over in her mind, Doug Johnson still singing 'Winter Wonderland.' She knew he wasn't going to be happy with his behavior come tomorrow morning, which frightened her a good deal as she was in charge party, but she couldn't help but feel slightly humored. There was nothing the screamed the holidays more than getting your boss completely smashed at the holiday office party.

She laughed once more at the thought, this time bringing her wine glass to her lips attempting again to hide her laughter. She was fairly certain that laughing at her boss after getting him drunk at the annual holiday office party was just not the way to go, especially since she valued her job. Definitely, definitely not the way to go, she couldn't help but tell herself.

Glancing to her left she spotted Joe Turner once again giving her a knowing looking, letting out a bit of laughter himself. Part of her felt the need to roll her eyes as she had yearned to do minutes before, but she couldn't help but give him a soft smile. She knew it wasn't probably the smartest thing to do, well aware of the fact that he could possibly take it as an indication that she was acknowledging him, but she couldn't help it. It was the holidays after all and her incessant need to be as kind as she could be was overwhelming her.

That and there was some comfort in the fact that someone around her was as amused as she was with the antics before her, especially what with the fact that none of her friends were to be found. Granted Clay and Sarah had called her earlier in the day to say they wouldn't be able to make it as both were too tired from the night before. She had been slightly disappointed as she had wanted to celebrate with them, have them enjoy all the hard work they had put into the party, but she had understood, especially what with Sarah being pregnant. Sarah wasn't that too far along, only in her first trimester, but she had been experiencing some fatigue every now and then. Clay who was every bit the adoring and dutiful father, excited and thrilled about he and Sarah's new arrival, was insistent that Sarah take it easy when she needed to. She missed them for sure, especially Sarah who was just as much in love with holiday festivities as she was, but she would rather have her friend take it easy. Like Clay and Sarah, she was completely over the moon that they were going to have a baby.

Smiling at the thought she scanned the room looking for any signs of Peyton or Jake, wondering if they had possibly gotten lost in the crowd. She knew for certain that Peyton and Jake were going to be at the party as Peyton had confirmed so at work. In fact, Peyton had been rather excited, to her surprise. With Peyton's often gloomy outlook, she wasn't too big on the holidays. She didn't hate them, but she wasn't the kind of person to look forward to them, only really putting effort into celebrating for the sake of Jake and their two year old daughter, Jenny. But when she had asked Peyton if she was ready for the party that night, expecting a sarcastic remark, instead Peyton had told her she was pumped for it. She was pretty sure her mouth had hung open in shock, only closing when Peyton admitted that the only reason why she was truly excited was to see what antics people would get into at the party. According to Peyton holiday office parties tended to push people to getting a little loose, engaging in behavior they did normally engage in, especially when alcohol was involved.

She couldn't help but chuckle a little at how right Peyton had been. Pretty much anyone who had touched the egg nog was in high spirits tonight, engaging in some outward behavior, rare in a firm full of lawyers, many of them pushing forty. Even those who hadn't touched the egg nog were happy, laughing and talking animatedly with one another. Peyton would be amused, highly amusing, which was why she wished she could find Peyton and Jake. She could definitely use some of Peyton's dry and witty commentary right about now. Definitely.

Sighing she looked around the room, giving a smile to some of her fellow associates who were talking amongst one another at a table a couple of feet from her. They signaled for her to come over but she politely declined, giving them a small wave and a smile. She felt rude doing so, especially since she was pretty much the host of the party, but she was hoping that Peyton and Jake would show up…..or hopefully Nathan. Though she wouldn't blame the latter if he didn't show up. Not at all.

Sighing again, this time at herself, she couldn't help but turn to the big Christmas tree that was set up in the corner of the room that was adjacent to her. It was beautiful. Truly it was. Definitely one of the biggest she had seen, not including of course the tree in Rockefeller Center, which she had visited many a times since it had been put for the holiday season. That was enormous. But the one at the party towered a good couple of inches over the trees her family would buy for Christmas every year during Tree Hill's annual holiday fair.

She actually hadn't planned on getting a tree so large, especially since she and the others had already been dealing with so much with the party. She didn't want to add to any stress levels. However, the partners had insisted that the party have a large tree. So she had ordered one, taken aback by how large it was when it was delivered last night. At the time it had just been she, Peyton, and Nathan since they had a had to wait for the others to get off of work and then downtown to meet them at the firm. Nathan had immediately laughed, while Peyton had rolled her eyes stating dryly that she had really out done herself. It had taken she, Peyton, Jake, Clay, and Nathan about thirty minutes, to just set up the tree, it being far too heavy for the boys to lift alone. By then they had all been wiped out, Sarah having fallen asleep sitting in a chair as she had watched them set up the tree, not participating because of her pregnancy.

At that point she had told them all to go home, to which of course they objected, saying they didn't want to leave her alone to do the rest of the set up for the party. They had done a good deal of work, but even then there had still been a number of tasks left. Yet she had insisted once again that they go home, telling them they needed their rest. They finally agreed, Clay wanting to get an exhausted Sarah home, and Jake and Peyton wanting to pick up Jenny, from Jake's parents' apartment.

Nathan however, had still objected to leaving her alone, stating that he didn't want her heading home by herself so late. She had been about to object, joke about the fact that she was an adult and could handle herself, but had stopped herself when Nathan had given her the 'look.' The look that Nathan always gave when he refused to back down from something. She was well acquainted with the look. Very much so, because in the twenty years she had known Nathan Scott she had seen that look many times. In fact, Nathan was far more stubborn than she was. It was a fact she had learned when she had first met Nathan.

It hadn't been a good first meeting, a fact that she and Nathan now laughed about twenty years later. Yet back then, their first meeting had kept them at odds for a very, very long time.

The animosity between them had started over something inconsequential, pretty silly actually, but as children they of course had not viewed it that way. She in fact, had nearly declared war on Nathan Scott because of the incident, only stopping herself because he had after all been the big brother of her best friend, Lucas. But it had been hard, downright painful for her because Nathan had done something her six year old heart just couldn't take. He had hurt Mr. Waffles.

Of course Nathan to this day still denied the fact that he had, claiming it had been the Scott's old dog Scout that had attacked the beloved stuffed bear that her Nana had given to her on her fourth birthday. But she knew the truth, just like she had known it then. Known because she had actually witnessed him committing the crime….sort of.

Okay, fine she hadn't actually seen Nathan commit the crime a fact that had Nathan smirking years later. But she had seen mud on his clothing. The same mud that had covered Mr. Waffles when she had found him face down in the Scott's backyard. For her, that had been evidence enough.

That particular day, she had been over the Scott's house playing with Lucas. She and Lucas' had just become friends, after she had met him a few weeks prior. Lucas had just moved from Charlotte to Tree Hill with his family, a fact she had been very excited about as it had been very rare to see a new face in Tree Hill. To her dismay however, Lucas had said very little to her the day he arrived to her forth grade class, having been nervous about being in a new town. However, after a little coaxing from her, he had finally begun to talk. By the end of that day they had hit it off, a friendship solidifying rather quickly in the following days. They had spent every waking moment together as she showed Lucas around Tree Hill, had introduced him to her friends Mouth, Junk, Fergie, and Skills, had had help Lucas assist Karen as she set up her new cafe. They had been inseparable. Which was why she had found herself at the Scott's house that fateful day Mr. Waffles had been injured by Nathan.

Of course, up until Mr. Waffles had been maimed, as she liked to explain it, Nathan always rolling her eyes when she did so, everything had been fine. She and Lucas had spent the afternoon running around the Scott's backyard playing tag and other games.

Back then she had been accustomed to wearing a bright red cape, one that her mother had sewn for her. It had been a bit weird, she could fully admit that now, but back then she had loved the cape, always feeling so strong, so invincible, so fearless when it was adorned on her shoulders. That day she was with Lucas she could remember feeling like she was flying as she ran around his backyard with him, zipping past trees, jumping over rocks, rolling around in the grass. It had been a great feeling, an amazing feeling, one that had left her in a state of happiness when Karen had called she and Lucas into the Scott's kitchen for some fresh baked cookies. That was when she had finally met Nathan and the joy she had been feeling had immediately left her.

He had made fun of her cape. Of course it hadn't been the first time someone had done so. In fact, her brothers and sisters had often commented on her cape, rather scathingly so. She had built a thick skin as a result. But Nathan had broken right through that, rather harshly. She didn't know why, still didn't to this day. Maybe it had been the way he made fun of her, telling her that she looked 'so stupid in her cape.' Maybe it had been the tone he had said it in, full of contempt and hate. Or maybe it had just been the fact that he had just met her at that point, hadn't known her in the slightest, and yet was judging her. Whatever it had been, she had retaliated back by doing what she had often did back then when someone made fun of her. She had marched quickly up to where he had been standing in the Scott's kitchen and had kicked him in the shin….hard. So hard in fact, that he had began crying immediately, a fact Nathan still denied. Nathan Scott didn't cry. Oh but how he had cried that day, which only escalated his anger and her own, making the situation worse from there. Nathan had told her that she was a stupid girl, she had told Nathan he was a stupid boy, he had launched at her, and she had gotten in a swift punch to his nose before they had been separated by Karen, who had left the room a few minutes before the incident to answer a phone call.

Both of them had immediately been reprimanded by Karen, but Nathan had gotten the brunt of it, mainly because Lucas, who had witnessed the entire event, had laid full blame on his brother. Nathan had not been happy with the situation, not at all. Karen had told him to apologize to her and Nathan had refused, quite adamantly so, giving her, her first experience of how stubborn Nathan could be. Beyond angry with her, Nathan had stormed out of the kitchen when Karen sent him up to his room without any cookies.

She had thought that would be the last of Nathan's torment of her, at least for that day, but had found out she had been wrong when she and Lucas went back outside to play some more and found Mr. Waffles face down on the ground his head ripped off and floating in the Scott's pool. That was when she began crying…...hysterically, so bad in fact that her mother had to come pick her up.

It was after she had calmed down over a cup of her mother's hot cocoa, that she accused Nathan of harming Mr. Waffles. Her mother had told her that she shouldn't accuse someone especially when she had no proof, but she had proof. As she had left the Scott house in tears, she had seen Nathan at the top of the stairs, mud stains all over his clothes. If that hadn't been proof enough, the gloating smirk on his face had been.

Nathan to this day said that her evidence was circumstantial, that he could have gotten mud on his clothes from doing a number of things that day. God he was such a lawyer, sometimes. But it had been him. She had been sure of it, and it was that fact that kept her mad at him for years. Of course he had been mad at her too. More than mad. It wasn't every day that Nathan Scott got punched in the face, especially by a six year old girl. He had only been one year older than her, but being attacked by her had wounded his pride…..a lot. They had refused to talk to one another, let alone spend time with each other unless they had no choice but to do so. However as much as they had wanted to, they hadn't been able to avoid each. Not just because Lucas had been her best friend, but also because the Scott's became very close to her family. Karen had hit it off with her mother, the both of them having similar temperaments and interests. Their fathers as well became friends. Dan Scott had played professional basketball and her father had been quite the fan, so it had been common for both of them to get lost in hour long conversations about basketball. As a result, holidays, celebrations, family vacations, and the like were all shared between the James and Scotts, thus keeping her and Nathan in close contact, to both of their dismay.

However their antagonistic relationship eventually changed.

It had taken awhile, high school to be exact. With she and Nathan both stubborn, no one could keep a grudge like they could. Yet by high school, with both of them preoccupied with their lives, they had little time to put so much effort into hating one another. Yet the dislike was still there, intensely so. So intense, that when Nathan asked her to help tutor him for his classes her sophomore year she had flat out refused.

And yet, she had found herself completely shocked by the fact that Nathan Scott had turned up in the Tree Hill Tutor Room in the first place.

She had volunteered as a tutor at the center since her freshman year and not once had she seen Nathan anywhere near the place. Not at all. Hell she had been sure he didn't even know where the Tutor Center was. As Tree Hill's star basketball player, Nathan had focused all his time and attention on the game. Academics were not important to him, a fact he had made very clear, particularly to her when he would make fun of her over the fact that she treated school as her top priority. It was when Nathan had made fun of her for her love for school, that she had hated him the most.

As someone who loved school, found joy in tutoring, happiness in a book, it had been quite difficult for her to be accepted by her classmates. Like Nathan most of her peers saw no value in school, their energies and attentions focused more on the issues that they believed mattered. Going to the mall, hitting up the latest house party, attending the next basketball game, dating the most popular in school…..that was what most of her peers had concerned themselves with. But not her. She instead had thrown her attention towards school, her volunteer work at the Tutor Center, her job at Karen's Cafe. She had fun of course. Lucas and she had still been best friends, that solidifying even more during high school. Along with Junk, Fergie, Skillz, and Mouth they had spent their free time having fun, still hanging out at the River Court or Karen's Cafe like they had when they were kids. They didn't much bother themselves with the things that most teenagers did, not even Lucas and Skillz, who had both played for the high school's basketball team, and had been just as popular as Nathan. But they hadn't much cared for parties, chasing girls, and the like as Nathan had. Lucas and Skillz had been happy with just the five of them, doing the things they loved.

And she had been happy too, more than happy, being herself, pursing what she loved. That was of course unless Nathan made fun of her for it and made her feel like there was something wrong with her. He especially loved to make fun of the fact that she spent much of her free time tutoring. Saying it was so not so surprising that a nerd like her would waste her time tutoring complete losers. She had hated his views of the Tutor Center, of the people who sought out help. To her, her students weren't loser, but simply people who just need someone to help guide them. To her the fact that Nathan looked down on those who need assistance was disgusting. But his statements hadn't surprised her. That was the kind of person Nathan had been back then. Too cool for school, for anyone and everyone.

That was why when he had showed up at the Tutor Center that particular day looking for help, she had been shocked. At first she had thought Nathan being there was a joke. That maybe he had finally discovered where the Tutor Center was located and had figured that toying with her would be a good way to pass his time. She hadn't been happy to see him there, the Tutor Center being the one place in the halls of Tree Hill High School where she had felt safe. It was why when Nathan had walked through the door of the center and her initial shock had worn off she had asked him angrily why he was there. She didn't normally talk with such venom, especially to someone coming into the Tutor Center, but Nathan always had a knack for pissing her off and the smirk he had on his face when he saw she was none to happy to see him, had set her off. He had told her that it was a free country and that he was allowed to be there to which she had joked that she had been shocked he knew where the Tutor Center was since she had been sure he had only known the location of the high school's gym. Not her best come back, but it had done the trick setting Nathan off. They had gotten into verbal match of course and she remembered being thankful they were alone, since their fight had been made complete with yelling, name calling, and some pretty hurtful statements. She had been the one to stop it, at that point being too tired to go on, asking Nathan why of all places he had to bother her in one that she had loved and cherished so much.

That was when she witnessed something in Nathan change. The anger in his eyes that had been directed at her during their shouting match, the anger that had always seemed to be directed at her diminished, replaced to her shock by remorse. If that wasn't enough to shock her, he threw her for a loop when he actually apologized to her, saying that he hadn't meant to bother her at the Tutor Center, but that he needed her help.

At that…..she had laughed. A lot, loudly, intensely, so much so that she had ended up tearing up a little bit. It hadn't been every day that Nathan not only apologized to her, but also asked for help. In fact, up until then he had never done any of those things in regards to her or to anyone else for that matter . It had been….well it had been shocking. Shocking and….funny, which was why she had laughed, only stopping when she had looked up and saw not only the anger back in Nathan's eyes, but hurt as well.

She had felt remorse, had felt horrible for having such a reaction to what he had said. Really and truly she had. As much as Nathan tormented her, as much as he had made her life a living hell….the pain she had seen in his eyes that day in the Tutor Center…...she had never wanted to be the cause of that, not ever. It had been heartbreaking.

She had apologized, Nathan as shocked as she had been when he had apologized to her, before asking him what he wanted. That was when he had finally explained that he had meant what he had said when he had told her he had needed her help. Apparently Nathan Scott, star basketball player of the Tree Hill Raven's, most popular boy inside and outside the halls of Tree Hill High School, Dan Scott's prodige, the Scott brother that would definitely make it to the NBA…..had been in jeopardy of losing his position on the basketball team, and his purpose in life, due to the fact that he had been failing every one of his classes.

Of course it hadn't been the first time Nathan had been in jeopardy of getting kicked off the team. Not only had he failed classes in the past, but he had also gotten himself into some pretty bad situations, the worst of which was stealing a school bus after one of the basketball games and joyriding it all the way to a party he had thrown at the Scott's beach house. But no matter how many times he had gotten into trouble he had never actually gotten thrown off the basketball team, as Dan would always pull some strings to make sure nothing as drastic as that would happen. As a professional basketball player and Tree Hill's leading businessman, people were quick to do favors for Dan Scott, and Nathan had always benefited as a result. However, during Nathan's junior year, the high school hired a new coach, Brian "Whitey" Durham, which put all that Nathan and Dan had worked for in jeopardy.

Whitey Durham had been a coach of high reputation leading several high school basketball teams to their state championships. It was for this reason that Dan, as well as other parents of the Tree Hill Ravens had sought Whitey out. However, hiring Whitey to coach at Tree Hill High became an ironic twist of fate for many of the parents, became the same man they had sought out to help their sons make it in basketball, was the same man who threatened that very goal. Threatened that goal by making it a rule that every basketball player that played for him, had to maintain a B average in every class in order to qualify to play.

Of course Whitey had the players' interests at heart when he mandated his rule. He wanted his players to succeed in every way, both on and off the court. However, many of the parents didn't see it that way especially Dan who went on a crusade to get Whitey Durham fired. But to everyone's shock, including Dan himself, Principal Turner and the school board refused to get rid of Whitey. Turner and the school board had thought that Whitey's policy was a positive way to keep students on track academically. That and Turner as well as the school board had gotten sick of Dan Scott dictating what they could and couldn't do. As a result Whitey stayed, giving Nathan no choice but to work on getting his grades up. He hadn't been happy of course, had given Whitey a hard time, but Whitey Durham wasn't someone to be trifled with. About two weeks into Nathan acting like a prima donna on and off the court to no avail, he had come to her looking for help. And she had said no. A resounding no. A "hell no."

As much as she had felt bad for laughing at Nathan when he had sought her help, she hadn't been about to take on the task of tutoring someone that absolutely pushed her buttons. She had cherished her sanity back then. Really she had. Of course Nathan had been undeterred, immediately trying to butter her up. He had broken out the charm he had often used back then with the girls in their high school. As the high school's leading basketball player, popular, good looking, and charming, it had been rather easy for Nathan to get any girl to do what he had wanted. Not her. Hell no. She had know Nathan practically all her life, and his blunder and bullshit didn't mean a damn thing to her, which was exactly what she had told him. He had smirked at her in response to her rant, had gone as far as to put his hand on her shoulder as a means to win her over, and she responded by swiftly smacking his hand away, before once again telling him no, saying specifically that hell would freeze over before she ever tutored him.

He had left the Tutor Room after that. In a rage to be exact, complete with him slamming the Tutor Center door closed, leaving her to assume that his crazy notion that she would want to help tutor him had died.

But it hadn't. As stubborn and determined as she had been to not to help him, he had been just as stubborn, just as determined, if not more, to get her to do just that.

He pulled out the big guns of course. Hours later as she had worked a shift at Karen's Cafe, she had found herself pleased to look up from refilling some salt and pepper shakers, to see Lucas walk into the cafe. It had been pretty uncommon for him to visit so early on a school day, as he was usually at basketball practice. As he took a stool in front of the cafe's main counter, she had immediately poured him some coffee and plated him a slice of his favorite pie, immediately wanting to take both items back when he had finally confessed that the reason he had come to visit her was for Nathan's sake.

Nathan's sake. She had laughed at that, before telling Lucas a resolute no, knowing that Nathan had sent Lucas to talk to her in order to persuade her to tutor him. Even though the two brothers could fight, fists and all, they loved one another deeply, a bond similar to the one she had with her own siblings. Lucas would do anything for Nathan, and vice versa. So when she said no to Lucas' request to help his big brother, she had known immediately that she had let Lucas down. She had seen the shock on Lucas' face in reaction to her statement, the disappointment, and for a moment she had once again felt guilty for her response to the idea of helping Nathan. It wasn't in her nature to turn people down when they asked for her help. It was one of the main reasons she had become a tutor in the first place. She had wanted to help people, wanted the chance to show a person that they were capable, that they could do even what seemed impossible.

But with Nathan…...it was so hard to want to help him, which was what she had explained to Lucas. She told him that it was difficult enough for her to be around Nathan without wanting to strangle him. She hadn't been able to imagine what it would be like to sit with him for hours on end tutoring him.

Lucas had tried just a little more to persuade her before giving up, throwing out an excuse that he had to meet Skillz down at the River Court.

That was when she had gotten pissed at Nathan. Really pissed. Not only had he not taken no for an answer, he had to sent his brother, her best friend, to do his dirty work. She would do anything for Lucas Scott, a belief she had stood by since she was a child. But she had let him down, the disappointment radiating from his eyes, and it had been all because of Nathan. Nathan freaking Scott.

She had been so pissed at Nathan that as she returned to the task of refilling the cafe's salt and pepper shakers, she had been banging things around….loudly. So loud that Karen intervened, a smile on her face as she did so. That was when she had prepared herself. Prepared herself for what she thought was inevitable. Karen was after all Nathan's mother, and she had been around both of them enough to know how much Karen loved her son. So she had assumed Karen would naturally ask her to help Nathan.

But she hadn't. In fact, all Karen had said was that things were going to be okay.

She remembered taking in those words, the soft smile on Karen's face, and feeling her anger and annoyance diminish. It was then that she explained to Karen all that had occurred that day, how she had felt when Nathan had asked her to tutor him, how she didn't want to do so, how she couldn't help but feel that he didn't deserve the help, but that she didn't want to let anyone down, especially Lucas. By then she had been on the brink of tears, doing her best to hold them back as she told Karen that she had been struggling with the fact that while she didn't want to help Nathan, so much of her felt so wrong for turning away someone who not only needed help, but had sought her out for assistance. When she had finally stopped talking, a sad sigh emitting from her lips, Karen had just smiled at her once again, the smile that had often calmed her during, before she had told her that things would be okay, that she would find a way to do the right thing.

And she had. An hour after her shift at the cafe, a hour during which she had gone back and forth over what she should do, cursing Nathan over and over again, cursing herself, she had walked over to the Scott's house to talk to Nathan.

She had been taken aback when she had knocked on the door and Nathan himself had answered it. She had thought she would have a few minutes to prepare herself, her steadfastness fading quite quickly as Nathan looked back at her.

There had been shock written on his face when she told him that she had wanted to speak to him and she had immediately figured out that Lucas had told him that his mission to get her to help him had failed. It was the shock on Nathan's face that had helped her find her voice and hold her ground.

Before Nathan could even talk she told him that she would tutor him under the condition that he would take it seriously. She explained to him that tutoring meant a lot to her and that if he thought he was going to blow off their sessions or her, like he did with his classes or most things in his life, he would have to find another tutor.

She had rambled her mandate so quickly, that when Nathan had said nothing after she had finished, she had been sure he hadn't understood what she had said. That or he hand't cared. But finally he had slowly smiled at her, before simply saying, "fine."

At first she had looked him up and down, seriously contemplating if he was truly messing with her. He had been smiling after all and Nathan Scott never smiled, especially not when it came to her. But as she took him in, to her shock she had been able to tell that he had been sincere. Not just because of the soft smile that had been playing on his lips…..but the look in his eyes. His blue eyes. Deep and dark like the ocean, crystal clear and striking, yet soft, always full of emotion. She remembered just taking in his eyes that night as she stood on the Scott's porch, feeling herself get lost in them, in the blue, in the emotions that emitted from them, before she was snapped back to reality when Nathan had said her name.

At that she had shook her head at him, asked him what he had been saying, rolling her eyes at him when he explained that he had been trying to set up a day and time to meet for tutoring, when she had "totally been gone on him." She of course quickly denied the fact, telling him to shut up and wipe the stupid smirk off his face.

Gone on Nathan Scott. That had been a preposterous idea. Insane.

She had told Nathan that they would meet the next morning, six o'clock sharp down at the docks, which of course Nathan objected to as they would be meeting on a Saturday morning. Sighing at his whining, she had explained to him that early Saturday morning was the only time when she was free, take her or leave her. In response, he had smirked at her once again, slowly, confidently, looking her up and down before telling her that he would take her.

At that she had done something she had never done. She had given him the finger, smiling with satisfaction when he looked back at her with shock. Definitely not her normal behavior, but it was either that or smacking Nathan in the face.

God he had been such a leech.

Satisfied with their conversation she had told him she would see him bright eyed and bushy tailed the next morning, walking down the Scott's driveway as she did so. But before she had walked very far, Nathan had gotten in the last word.

To her shock he hadn't said anything hurtful or scathing. Instead Nathan had just said a simple thank you, smiling at her before giving her a nod, and returning to the Scott's house.

She could still remember smiling to herself at that, knowing Nathan very rarely thanked people. Standing feet away from him in the Scott's driveway, the dark night surrounding them, she had once again seen the sincerity in Nathan's eyes…...and it had made her smile.

Of course he had a poor way of showing his thankfulness their first tutoring session. As she had anticipated, Nathan had turned up an hour late to the docks, a big ass grin on his face. That was when she had finally done what she had wanted to do since he had asked her to tutor him. She had smacked him.

She didn't smack him in his face, although it was quite the fight not do so. Instead she gave him a quick, but hard smack on his arm, before telling him he was late. He feigned hurt of course, saying that she was so mean to him even when he had gone out of his way to bring her a coffee, which he swiftly placed in front of her on the picnic table they had been sitting at. It had been a sweet gesture, she had admitted that much to herself, but she had been pissed off, telling him that she wasn't a fan of coffee and preferred tea. That was when Nathan had gotten annoyed, stating that he couldn't win with her, that he never could. Shaking her head at him she told him that he had never tried winning with her, that he had always made her life miserable, and that he was only adding to that by being late. Even in high school she had taken on so many things in her life. Between school, tutoring, working at the cafe, volunteering at a call center and a youth outreach program, she was constantly busy with little free time. When she had set up Nathan's tutoring session for that Saturday morning, it had truly been because she had no other time to help him. But of course Nathan had thrown that back in her face, treating her as if she didn't matter.

When Nathan had apologized, she swiftly brushed it away, telling him she didn't need his apologies, but needed him to take what they were doing seriously. She went as far as to tell him that even though he was Nathan Scott star basketball player of the Tree Hill Ravens, she didn't give a damn, and neither did the courses that he was taking and failing. She had been in such a rage and had expected him to be in one too after what she had said to him, but he hadn't been. To her shock, Nathan once again had said he was sorry, that he was serious about needing help, but that he had only wanted to push her buttons by showing up late because she was "so damn uptight."

At that she had done something unexpected. She had laughed. Loudly, profusely, without any inhibitions. She still remembered thinking back then, that the laughter had probably erupted out of her because she had been tired or her emotions had come to a boil. Whatever the reason, she had laughed and laughed, it increasing when Nathan joined her. The only difference was that his laugh had been a nervous laugh, probably scared she would smack him again. She hadn't exactly been happy with Nathan telling her that she was uptight, but then again she had known it was fairly true, especially in comparison to Nathan. They had been complete opposites of one another, both finding importance and joy in so many different things. She had gone through life taking things, okay taking everything, seriously while Nathan had looked at life as one big party.

It had been then that she had realized that maybe she was being too tough on Nathan. She hadn't been about to admit that to him, hell no, but she had told herself that the fact that Nathan had made a few mistakes didn't mean that he didn't deserve compassion or help.

She accepted his apology, apologized to him as well, before telling him that she would try to be "less uptight" when it came to tutoring him. Nathan in turn promised not to be such a "prick," to which she laughed once more, Nathan joining in with her again. When their laugher had died down, and she took in the smile Nathan had given her, sincere, genuine, she had remembered telling herself that they would be fine. That they didn't need to be friends, that they didn't need to get along, they just needed to keep things pleasant enough in order for their tutoring sessions to work.

Oh how things changed.

To her shock, as the weeks progressed their tutoring sessions actually did go smoothly, hell more than smoothly. Although Nathan had been notorious for blowing off school work or anything to do with academics, he had really tried his best during their sessions. It hadn't been exactly easy for him, and there had been many times when he had gotten frustrated and annoyed, but he continued to strive and had really made great strides.

She remembered being so proud of him.

Of course pride had been a typical feeling she experienced when someone she was tutoring succeeded, but with Nathan she had discovered that the pride she felt for him was a little different. Different because he had really done a complete turnaround in such a short period of time. He had gone from not giving a damn about school to really taking his classes seriously. So serious in fact, that soon enough he was asking her to tutor him more than once a week. Then, twice a week became four times a week, and four times a week became practically every day.

It had been somewhat of a burden for her to be tutoring Nathan so much as she had to find a way to balance Nathan and all of her other commitments, but she hadn't been able to turn him down. Not just because she had promised to help him, not just because she found a happiness in helping him, not just because he had asked her…..but because she and Nathan had become friends.

It had happened quite naturally, quite quickly, ironic since fighting and being at one another's throats had shaped their relationship for so many years. But the more time they spent together, the better their relationship became.

It had been the tutoring of course. At first their time together had been just strictly that, tutoring. She had always taken her tutoring sessions seriously, and Nathan hadn't been the exception. What that meant was the hour or two they had spent together was devoted to learning and nothing more. However, that began to falter and then collapse, as time had progressed. Their discussions began to leave the parameters of books, math equations, historical events, and scientific formulas and instead turned into discussions of everything and anything.

Initially, most of their conversations were just small talk. What Nathan planned to do that weekend, what new movie she and Lucas were going to see, what joint family vacation their parents wanted to go on for the summer. But soon their small talk turned into real conversations. Not just conversation that passed between two people who were acquaintances, two people forced together because of a circumstance, but rather conversations held between two people who trusted one another, respected one another…...cared about one another.

However, things took a real turning point one day during one of their sessions.

She could still remember that day. Quite vividly as a matter of fact. It had been three months into their tutoring sessions, a point at which she and Nathan weren't completely friends, but were getting along. During one of their scheduled tutoring sessions, Nathan had turned up about forty-five minutes late, literally running into the Tutor Center before abruptly sitting in his chair across from her at their usual table.

She had been about to lay into him for being late, when she had realized quite quickly that he had been upset.

It had taken her aback. It was rare to see Nathan upset, very rare, and the extent at which he had been upset that day had never been to a degree that she had witnessed before.

At first she had told herself to ignore it, telling herself it was none of her business, and that if he wanted it to be he would tell her. However, after an unsuccessful attempt at going over one of Nathan's assignments for school, she couldn't help but ask if he was okay. Not just because he looked so upset, but because she had felt herself grow worried about him by the second.

He of course, initially tried to play it off, brushing off her concern by saying that he was fine. But when she gave him a look of skepticism, he finally confessed what had been plaguing him.

Apparently on his way to their tutoring session he had run into his father. Dan had come home early from work, stating he had done so, so that he and Nathan could do some training for the Raven's latest basketball game. Since Nathan had a tutoring session with her, he had told his father he couldn't train with him, to which Dan responded by going off on a rant, saying that Nathan didn't take basketball seriously, that he had never taken basketball or anything for that matter seriously, and that he was never going to succeed, most surely not like Dan Scott had.

She had been shocked by what Nathan had told her. Shocked. She had been aware for some time that Nathan and Dan weren't exactly warm with one another, but that was the first time she had gotten a true understanding of the kind of relationship they had.

She remembered feeling her heart break as Nathan continued talking about the pressures his father put on him, about Dan constantly telling him that he was weak, that he didn't try enough…..that he was nothing. He had explained that as the oldest son, Dan expected him to be the perfect reflection of him, the pressure of that sometimes making him feel as if he would suffocate. Nathan had stated that he loved basketball, that it was the one thing he was good at, the one thing that made him feel good, but that his Dad's treatment sometimes made the game he loved so much, become a complete nightmare.

Not knowing the right thing to do or to say at that point, she had done the only thing she could do, which was try to take Nathan's mind off of things.

She had told him that for the day they were going to blow off tutoring and instead do something fun.

Nathan of course had looked at her in shock, before laughing, pointing out that blowing off tutoring was supposed to be his thing. She had smiled at him, told him that it wasn't true, that he had put so much effort into succeeding in tutoring, had been flourishing, and therefore deserved a break.

She could remember him smiling at her, his genuine smile, the smile he only used on occasion, the smile that at that point he had directed at her rather often, before saying, 'okay'.

Hours later they had found themselves down at the Scott's beach house. As they sat out on the sand watching the waves of the ocean crash over one another, she and Nathan had talked.

Mainly it had been Nathan talking, him laying out his relationship with Dan, with Karen, with Lucas, but she had talked as well about the things that plagued her, bothered her. She hadn't planned to. She and Nathan getting away, escaping, had been for him, to allow him to gain some peace of mind. She hadn't want to inhibit that by laying out her own problems. But most of all she hadn't planned to talk about herself, because back then it had been hard for her to share certain things. Not just with Nathan, but with most people. The things that made her sad, made her scared, made her doubt herself….those things she had usually kept hidden within her heart, on the rare occasion confessing them to Lucas when they became a heavy burden on her.

But sitting out on the beach that day, the sun over them shining brightly, the deep blue waves of the ocean crashing over one another, frothing, the sound humming like a melody, the warm sand playing at her feet, the delicacy of the grains feeling as though they were floating against her skin.….she had felt a sense of peace, a sense of comfort, a sense of serenity that made her feel…..safe.

For the most part, when Nathan had talked about what he had to deal with he had looked out in front of him, towards the beach, almost as if he was mesmerized by the crashing waves of the water. Sometimes looking back, as she often did to that day, she always thought to herself that maybe he had just been mesmerized by the world that laid beyond, mesmerized by thoughts that one day what was weighing on his heart would all be a distant memory. But when she had talked to him, when she had confessed the things she sometimes had trouble confessing to herself, he would turn to look at her.

It had been why it had felt so easy to talk to him. When she had looked back at him, looked into his intense blue eyes, the eyes that had often been so full of emotion, passionate and fierce, and yet at times soft, gentle, she had known that he was looking at her, really and truly looking at her. She remembered at points during that day, feeling off balance from him looking at her so intensely, looking so deeply within her. No one had ever looked at her like that. No one. But most of all, when he looked at her the way he had, she had felt safe. Safe because in his eyes, his deep dark blue eyes, she didn't see any judgement, disgust, or pity, she saw understanding, care…..concern.

That day they had been the only two people on the beach, no one visiting since it had been a pretty dreary day, storm clouds threatening to erupt at any moment. But even had people been there, going about their business, playing in the water, walking along the shore, with the way Nathan had looked at her that day…..she had known that she would have still gotten that feeling that it was just them. Just she and Nathan.

She had gotten lost in that, lost in that realization, in the feelings it conjured up, in the feelings that had been within her for weeks at that point, only snapping out of it, when it had suddenly began raining.

She had quickly stood up, scooping up the blanket that she and Nathan had brought with them down to the beach, before Nathan had grabbed it from her and thrown it back down onto the sand. At first she had laughed, confused by his behavior, telling him they needed to get inside before the both of them got soaked and more than likely sick. However, her laughter turned into a shocked scream, when Nathan had swiftly thrown her over his shoulder, before heading down the beach. Quickly realizing what Nathan had planned to do, she had threatened to kick his ass, it falling on deaf ears as Nathan ran them into the water, going far enough so that the dark blue waves were at his waist. When he brought her to his eye level and smirked at her, she threatened him one more time, pointing her finger at him and giving him a glare. But her threats once again fell on deaf ears, as Nathan plopped her unceremoniously into the water. When she resurfaced she had been about to give him his last rites, before she saw the amusement in his eyes, a sense of happiness within him that she hadn't seen for so long. She remembered just taking it all in, the glint in his eyes, the smile on his face, the happiness radiating from him…...and she had felt happy too. Granted she had been soaking wet and freezing due to the ocean water and the rain that had been pouring down on them, but she had been happy. To see Nathan feel so free, to feel that herself, to be able to share the moment with him…...she had felt alive.

After horsing around awhile in the water, they had finally headed back to the beach house to warm up. They both had dried off and changed into some of Nathan's old clothes stored at the beach house, before relaxing on the couch. She could remember the minute Nathan turned on the television, a fight breaking out between them over what they would watch. But it hadn't been like the fights they had in the past as children, both of them saying such hurtful things to one another, trying to hurt the other person. Instead, it had been bantering, and she could remember not helping but smile at the fact that although her and Nathan's relationship had changed, they were still themselves, could still be themselves around one another. They had no problem challenging one another, that their arguing could bring out an energy within the other. To her shock she had won out, Nathan conceding to her. He had told her that he had simply done so since nothing good was on Sports Center at the time, but she knew as she had known then, that he had let her win. That he had been trying to do something kind for her.

Kindness quickly became such an integral part of their friendship, a friendship that became very important to the both of them as time progressed. Growing up Lucas had been the closet person to her, the person she could be herself around, the person she could laugh with, feel happy with, the person she could run to when life got hard, the person she knew would always protect her, would care for her as fiercely as she cared for him. But soon, Nathan had become that person too. The person she could go to and know without a shadow of a doubt that he would be there for her. The same way she was there for him. But it was more than that.

Nathan pushed her in a way that no one else had ever done. Of course that had always been a facet of their relationship, Nathan being able to push her buttons, to get her angry, to make her lash out like no one ever could. But once they were friends it became more than that, much more. Nathan pushed her to be the person she thought she could never be. Her life had been dictated so much back then by expectations, demands, rules, much of which she had placed upon herself. So much of that became who she was. Someone who did exactly what they thought they should do, be the way they thought they should be. Someone who followed the rules to the degree, never stepping out of line, never.

Nathan pushed her out of that mentality. He made her feel carefree in a way she had never experienced. He made her see that she didn't need to meet the expectations she thought she had to meet. He taught her that she could be herself, pushed her to find out who that was, even if it meant stepping out of the neat little box she had placed herself within. He encouraged her to be her, to be Haley. He let her know that being Haley, klutzy, opinionated, passionate, sometimes zany Haley, was more than okay.

He had made her feel okay with herself, and at the time when high school had been so hard for her, when she felt the judgement of people breaking through the shell she had created to protect herself, his support had meant everything to her.

He meant everything to her. The way he could make her laugh, the way he encouraged her, the way he supported her…..he meant the world to her. Nathan Scott, her friend, her best friend. As their friendship quickly blossomed, it hadn't been hard to see why.

It had been because of Nathan, because of the person he was.

For so many years, she had thought that Nathan was horrible, had no heart, cruel and dark to the core. She remembered thinking so many times, how Nathan and Lucas could be brothers, because she had never known Lucas not to be kind and loving. She had accepted that the two brothers were polar opposites, the notion of that helping her to justify why she could be so close to Lucas, love him so fiercely, and yet despise his older brother. But she had quickly realized as her friendship with Nathan developed, that the way she viewed Nathan had been so wrong. So wrong.

Of course Nathan had been perfect. Even after they became friends, she was more than aware of that. But getting to know Nathan, spending time with him, learning more and more about the person he truly was, the person he let her see….she quickly realized how similar Nathan and Lucas truly were. That Nathan wasn't horrible, cruel, and dark to the core. He had a heart. Of course he hid that, quite expertly so, behind the blunder and B.S., behind a calculated smirk, and nonchalance that showed everyone around him that he didn't care about them, about anyone. But it wasn't true. Nathan cared. He cared.

Behind the facade of being a local God, Dan Scott's son, Lucas Scott's older brother, he was Nathan. Just Nathan. Kind, warm, loving Nathan.

It had been shocking to say the least, for her to discover the heart that Nathan had. But it was big. Big, in the way he respected his mother in everything that she did. Big, in the way that he protected his little brother, helped him in any way that he could, Big, in the way that he stood up to his father, trying to make him see how truly passionate he was about the game.

He was inspiring, not just in the dedication he gave to basketball, but the dedication he began giving his studies, seeking out ways to become a better student.

He was staggering, in the way he held himself with such confidence, in the way he could be so sure of himself, and then in the next moment have doubts, question who he was, wonder what he could be. Nathan was secretive, protective of himself. Even after they became friends, the Nathan he allowed her to see, still was not that Nathan he allowed the world to see, but she was enthralled by that. Captivated by the way he fought with himself to meet people's expectations, while hiding on to who he truly was. Captivated by the way he could take on the persona of Nathan Scott, but then joke with her about the way people treated him like the second coming. Captivated by the way he could be so open with her, show her his heart, and then close it off to others.

She fell in love with that. She fell in love….with him.

God it had been so shocking to her. So shocking.

Boys hand't exactly been something she had occupied her time with, ironic since most of her time had been spent with boys. Lucas, Junk, Mouth, Skillz, Fergie, Nathan. She had boys in her life, many boys, but unlike girl's her age, she hadn't swooned at a good looking boy, hadn't thought about her next boyfriend, or dream about her future wedding. To her, none of those thoughts were worth anything, when she had goals, aspirations.

Of course she had a pulse, she was a teenager for God's sake. She was aware of the opposite sex, had a few crushes, had been attracted to a boy here or there, but she didn't spent her time romanticizing about boys.

That all changed with Nathan. She fell for him and fell for him hard. So much so that she had been blindsided by the way she truly felt about him.

They had been out one night walking along the dock of the Tree HIll Marina. Nathan and she had just finished up dinner and a movie, a movie they had been chatting about for an hour. She remembered Nathan abruptly stopping what he was saying, before pulling her quickly over to the the railing of the dock, positioning their bodies so they were looking out onto the water.

She remembered laughing, asking Nathan what his actions had been about, taking in the smile he gave her, before he shrugged and looked out onto the water.

She had been bit concerned, especially since she had felt Nathan a little off that entire day, but she had decided not to push him on it, knowing that when he was ready he would talk to her.

It was a little routine they had. Nathan would come to tutoring upset or angry and she would start the session knowing that at some point he would reveal what was eating at him. They would be hanging out in his room Nathan not saying a word to her, entranced by something on Sports Center or his latest game of NBA live, and finally tell her the latest thing Dan had done to him. They would be at the latest party Skillz, Lucas, and Nathan had decided to drag her to, Nathan off doing his own thing, before she would suddenly see him in a sea of people, before he gave her a nod, signing that she should meet him somewhere to talk.

Nathan had always told her that she had a way of making him feel comfortable, of comforting him. That his day would be shitty, that the latest thing that Dan said to him would put him in a foul mood, that he would find himself pissed off at the world, and then he would find her, would know that she would listen to him, and he would find himself talking to her, taking in the comfort that she always gave him.

So they had just stood there for a couple of minutes, trying to give him comfort, neither of them saying anything, she taking in the silence, Nathan taking in the water ahead of him, before he began telling her about how he been approached earlier that day at the high school by a sport's recruiter from Oak Lake Academy.

At first she had been confused, completely in the dark about what he was talking about, before he explained that Oak Lake Academy was a private school in Charlotte. It not only had a high reputation for academics, but also for its sports teams, most of the school's student athletes getting recruited by top colleges and universities. Oak Lake had approached him that morning wanting him to finish out his junior and then senior year at the school.

She remembered being shocked, not knowing what to say, before she had immediately felt her heart drop as Nathan's words began to wash over her.

Nathan was leaving.

She remembered letting out a small gasp at that realization, stunned when Nathan turned to look at her, and she saw so many emotions swirling in his eyes. She could see that he was torn, conflicted….scared, and while so much of her wanted to tell him right away not to go, not leave, she hadn't said a word. She just listened, listened to him like she always did, listened to him like she knew he had needed.

He went on to explain that he had immediately left school and had headed over to Karen's cafe, only to find his mother and father in a heated argument. It was then that he discovered that the sport's recruiter hadn't showed up on a whim. He had showed up because Dan had called the school.

Apparently at that point, Dan had had enough of Whitey. Seeing that the school was doing nothing to curb Whitey, Dan had decided to take action himself. With his connections and his reputation, along with Nathan's talent, he was able to get Nathan in to the academy with no problem. All Dan had needed was Karen's agreement.

Nathan said he had felt so angry, so upset, so betrayed in that moment as he heard his father speak. But that hadn't even compared to what Karen had voiced she felt. She had been beyond angry and upset that Dan hadn't even told her anything about what he had been plotting, betrayed that he would take so many actions in deciding their son's future without even letting her know. Dan had became angry at Karen's accusations, accusing her of not caring about their son's future, about not being able to understand how important it was for Nathan to go to Oak Lake, where he could be a big fish in a big pond, Dan explained that if Nathan went to Oak Lake he would be able to show recruiters that he was a Scott in every way, a high caliber player, which would never happened if Nathan stayed in Tree Hill.

That was when the fight between Karen and Dan got really bad, only stopping when Nathan had taken a glass off a nearby table and threw it against the wall that was adjacent to him.

He had told her, that both of his parents had been stunned, Karen crying a little. But he hadn't cared, telling them in anger that no one had bothered to ask him how he felt, what he wanted. Karen of course had reassured him that she did, had rushed over to comfort him, but Dan began to tear into him, telling him that he didn't know what he wanted, that he was too stupid to know, and that Nathan had better start listening to him before he completely, 'fucked up his future.' Nathan had said he flew into a rage after that, telling his father that he had never loved or cared about him, that him shipping him off to another school showed that quite clearly, and that he wasn't going. His mother again tried to reassure him, folding him into her embrace, but he had pulled away from her, telling his father to 'fuck off,' before leaving the cafe quickly.

She remembered being stunned once again listening to Nathan's story. Stunned at what Dan had said to Karen and to Nathan, stunned at the situation. But she kept listening, not saying a word, knowing that it was what Nathan needed. That so much of his life he had been told how to act, how to feel, how to be, primarily by Dan, and all he wanted, all he needed, was someone to just listen to him.

He had explained that he just walked around town after the confrontation with Dan and Karen, which had explained why she hadn't seen him in the hallways at school or at lunch which they usually spent together with Lucas and Mouth. He said he hadn't been able to go back to school, needing space from everyone and everything to clear his mind.

He had said he was angry. Angry at Dan for dictating his life, the way he had always dictated it. Angry at his mother for not standing up more for him, the way he felt she should. Angry at himself for being so weak, for not being strong enough.

That was when she had spoken up, telling Nathan immediately that he wasn't weak. That he was just shocked and confused, and that it was okay to feel that way. He pointed out that his father would disagree with that, and she responded quickly by saying 'screw Dan Scott, he doesn't know everything.'

She remembered him giving her a look of shock, but also a look of pride at being so candid. He asked her how she could be so strong. She smiled, before telling him that she had learned to be strong from him. That he made her strong, that she saw his strength everyday.

He had nodded at her, giving her a small smile before looking out ahead of him, looking at the water once again.

They had stood once more in silence, before Nathan broke it again, saying that his Dad wanted him to go. That Dan Scott always got what he wanted. She responded by saying once again, 'screw Dan Scott,' before asking Nathan what he wanted. She remembered him turning to her, shock once again in his eyes. But it had been more than just shock swirling in his eyes.

She had found it difficult to discern the emotions swimming within his eyes, but she had seen the intensity in them, had felt it. It was like he was taking her in, trying to see her, more than he had tried to see her in past couple of months of their blooming friendship. It had caused her to feel off kilter.

She felt herself lost, both of them lost in their own little world, before he broke the silence by telling her that he didn't want to leave. That he couldn't leave.

She had smiled softly at that, though taken aback, asking him why not.

She remembered shaking her head at herself. She had wanted Nathan to get everything that he deserved, everything that life could offer to him. Nathan worked hard, strove like no one she had ever seen, was the type of talent that was so rare to find. But it was more than that. He was dedicated, he put his heart and soul into everything he did, and she truly believed that he deserved to be successful in anything. So if going to Oak Lake meant he would succeed, she had known she would be okay with that.

However, she hadn't been okay with him leaving. Not in the slightest. The minute he had told her about Oak Lake, the minute she had heard about Dan Scott's involvement, she had felt like her whole world was crashing in. The thought of Nathan not being around, the thought of losing him….God her heart had truly sunk. Nathan had become such an integral part of her life that she hadn't been able to fathom that not always being the case.

But God her heart had lurched at her questioning of why he didn't want to leave. She remembered the feeling of it being so staggering that she hadn't heard what Nathan was saying to her, hadn't realized Nathan had been talking about the reasons for why he wanted to stay, until he said her name.

She had looked up at him, had seen slight amusement in his eyes, before he began repeating what he had said. Repeating the fact that Tree Hill was his home, that he had lived in Charlotte before and had been completely miserable. He told her that in Tree Hill he had found a sense that he could be happy. He explained the fact that he couldn't leave his team, his brothers, and although Whitey drove him absolutely crazy, 'he couldn't leave the old man either.' Dan may have taught him how to play basketball, but Nathan told her that Whitey was the one who had taught him the true meaning of the game. That the game wasn't just about him, about his stats, about winning the next game, or far away State Championships. It was about working with the team, about growing as a player, about finding the peace, the grace, the beauty of playing the game. He would lose that, he had been sure of it. He told her that he couldn't leave his mother and he sure as hell couldn't leave his brother. He explained the fact that while Dan was hard on both he and Lucas, he was the worst to Nathan, a fact she was more than aware of. He explained his fears that once he was gone, Lucas would take his spot as being the target for Dan's judgement, abuse, and cruelty. He said he couldn't let that happen to his brother, that he wouldn't. That he would take on Dan, that he had taken on Dan all his life, knowing that it would protect his brother.

She remembered smiling at that. Though it broke her heart to know about the way Dan treated his sons, especially Nathan, she couldn't help but be reminded at the moment once again of the heart that Nathan had. She had placed her hand on his upper back at that, leaning her head on his shoulder, just taking him in, taking it all in. However, she broke out of that when Nathan confessed that he also couldn't leave her.

That had really shocked her.

I can't leave you Hales. The thought of not seeing you, of not being able to talk to you…...I just….God I can't leave you Hales.

She had felt herself tear up at that, a tear slipping past her eye. She could remember quickly wiping it away, before she felt him suddenly fold her in his arms. He held on to her tightly, so tightly her mind had wondered how she could breathe. But she had felt fine, in his arms, in his embrace. She had felt perfect. She had cried a little more, embarrassed at her display. She wasn't a crier, something she always had prided herself on. But she couldn't stop the tears, hadn't wanted to, given the situation. So she had buried her head into Nathan's chest wrapping her arms around her back, as she felt his hands begin to rub her own. She had known he was trying to give her comfort, some ease, and she hadn't been able to stop herself from laughing a little at herself. Nathan had his world turned upside down in a span of a day and he had been the one comforting her. It should have been other way around she had told herself. But she hadn't been able to stop herself, hadn't wanted to break the moment. She had taken him in, the way he had smelled, the way he had felt, and losing herself in the feeling of being in his embrace.

They had hugged before of course. Numerous times. But that day on the docks as he held her in his embrace, their bodies pressed tightly together, so perfectly so….it had been different.

Both of them grasping on to one another, both of them holding on to each other, of what was them, of what they had. It was different. He had whispered to her all the reasons why he didn't want to leave her, why he couldn't, and while it was a little hard hearing what he had said, she had listened to all of it. Had know that he was whispering so it was only she that heard the way he felt about her, about them, about their friendship.

When he had finished he had kissed the side of her forehead, asking her to say something, say anything. It had taken her awhile to do so, a lump of emotion in her throat, threatening to spill more tears. But she had pushed through telling him that while she didn't want him to go, that she would miss him like crazy, that if he did go he better plan on getting unlimited minutes on his phone, she would support him in whatever he decided.

He had kissed her again on her forehead, thanking her, telling her that he needed that, her support, that it meant everything to him, before reiterating that he couldn't go, that he wasn't going to go.

She had smiled at that. A wide, big, happy smile that she could feel throughout her body, one that matched his own, before joking that she was glad he decided to stay because if he had decided to go she may have had to maim Dan Scott. They had laughed at that, full bellied laughs, before Nathan grew serious and whispered 'thank you, Hales,' tucking a strand of her hair that was blowing due to wind, behind her ear.

That was when she knew. When she had no doubts, no reservations, no questions.

She had fallen in love with Nathan Scott. In that simple action, in his words, in the intense look in his eyes, she had known how deeply her heart felt for Nathan. She had also been aware of the fact that her feelings for him, her love for him had been brewing for a long time. That once hidden by the anger and hatred she felt for him, her feeling began to change as they became close, hitting her that day down in the Marina, when she had almost lost him, when she had realized that part of why he was staying was for her. In the softness of his touch, in the feel of his lips on her skin, in the intense look in his eyes….she knew he had sited for her and God she had loved him for that. She had been in love with Nathan. Madly.

But she didn't do anything about it. Not that day or the day after that or the day after that. She kept silent.

It had been hard. God had been hard. Every minute she spent with Nathan she felt more and more for him, and it became all the more harder to not confess to him the way she felt. The way he smiled at her, those secret smiles he saved for her. The way he would joke around with her, smirking in a way that would partially piss her off, partially make her swoon. The way he would seek her out, just to talk to her or be around her. It had been so damn hard not to tell him she loved him. God it had been so hard. But what was harder, the reality of what would happen if she did.

She was always an optimistic person. She wasn't naive of course. She didn't see the world through rose colored glasses. Yet she always found herself looking at the bright side of things. As her mother always said, 'when life hands you lemons, you can make a mean lemon martini Haley-Bob.' Yet she was also a realist, someone who when making a decision, whether big or small, looked a the reality of the situation, the reality of the circumstance, the reality of the consequences. She weighed the pros and cons of everything. What would happen if she did this, what would happen if she didn't do that. It was sometimes suffocating, part of the reason why she stayed in line so much throughout her life. But it was who she was. Even at sixteen years old. Loving Nathan wasn't the problem. It was so easy. It just was. One look from him and she knew how she felt, no reservations. But pursuing that, pursuing the way she felt, that to her was the problem.

Her friendship with Nathan had been so right, so perfect it had sometimes boggled her mind to think back to the years they had been at each other throats. Although the friendship came quickly, was still new in so many ways, she hadn't been able, couldn't imagine living without his friendship. That's why among many other reasons the threat of Nathan going to Oak Lake had been so devastating for her. She hadn't been joking about him having to get more minutes on his phone, because had he decided to leave she knew they would need to talk to him constantly. But she also knew the reality. That phone calls once a day would turn into phone calls once a week. Nathan would get busy, would get tied up at Oak Lake Academy, in basketball, in preparing for college and she would get tied up with school, tutoring, and volunteering. The communication would dwindle, reduced to awkward phone calls where they try to catch up after weeks, maybe even months of not talking. The friendship would be strained so much so that when Nathan came home to visit, the air between them would be just as strained if not more. The happiness of seeing one another, coupled with the reality that they didn't know one another like they used to, would have made things unbearable.

They were scenarios she had run through her mind, as she and Nathan talked that day down at the Marina, her thoughts leaving her when Nathan had been so adamant about staying in Tree Hill. But those thoughts had not been gone for too long.

The realist in her told her a relationship could never work. The pessimist in her told her that Nathan Scott would never give her the time of day.

Though Nathan had changed in those months their friendship developed, he had still been the same in so many ways. He had still been a basketball God, the most popular student in school, the boy all the girls wanted to be with.

She used to be disgusted by the rumors that would float around about Nathan's latest conquest, the details about his love life, about how he moved from girl to girl. When they became friends it still disgusted her, but she learned to live with it because he was her friend, because it was his life, and if that was how he chose to live it, then that was what she had to accept. But it had been hard seeing the way he acted with girls, knowing he was better than that. The pain she felt however, got worse when she realized that she loved him.

It wasn't because he was with other girls. Of course, that fact didn't exactly thrill her, okay fine she had hated it. It wasn't such a great feeling to be at a party only to find out that Nathan went off with his latest girl. But it more so hurt because seeing him with girl after girl after girl had made her realized how she was so far from what Nathan wanted, that she could never be, would never be, the kind of girl he would want to be with.

She had been Haley James. Bookworm, nerd, tutor-extrodinare. The girls Nathan dated would never be described as such. They were cheerleaders, the popular girls in school, the kind of girls who spent their days in the mall, wore tight shirts, short skirts, and heels to school. She was the practical dresser wearing jeans, t-shirts, sweaters, and sneakers. It had been high school for craps sake, not a fashion runway. She had been inexperienced, not having a boyfriend until college. The girls that Nathan chose…..they were very experienced, knew how to play to what Nathan wanted from a girl. She hadn't been it, and the fear of rejection, of telling Nathan how she felt about him, and hearing him turn her down, or take pity on her, or hell even laugh…..she couldn't put herself through that. She'd seen her sisters lament over their breakups, over this guy or that guy not giving them the time of day, over crushes remaining just that and she hadn't wanted that for herself. Hand't wanted to subject herself to the heartbreak.

So she told herself that what she felt for Nathan was a crush. A strong crush, but a crush nonetheless and instead focused on their friendship. A friendship that to this day still meant the world to her.

It hadn't been easy to keep the friendship going. Often times they had to fight like hell. They had to fight keep it alive when Nathan moved away to attend Duke University, they had to fight to keep it alive when she went even further away to Stanford, and they had to fight to keep it alive through every fight, every tear, every hurdle that they faced. It hadn't been perfect, it sure as hell hadn't always been easy, but it had been everything. Everything.

Haley smiled at the thought, scanning the room once again to see if she could find Nathan in the crowd of partygoers. When she saw no trace of him, she felt her stomach drop.

God their friendship meant meant everything to her, but after what had happened between them last night…...she may have ruined that.

God what was she going to say to him when she saw him? What the hell was he going to say to her.? It had been a long time since they had been nasty with one another. But she knew all too well, that Nathan could get nasty, very nasty, especially when he felt wronged. It made him a great lawyer, and a terrifying adversary. She didn't think she could take seeing the latter tonight. Definitely not.

Feeling her nerves get the best of her, her stomach dropping once again, she took a sip of her wine trying to calm herself down. But she couldn't. Not only was she certain he was mad at her for what happened between them this morning, but she was certain he was also mad at her over the fact that she had been avoiding him all day.

If there was something Nathan hated more than being wronged, it was dealing with someone who refused to deal with him. He hadn't accepted that on the basketball court, he didn't accept that in a court of law, and he sure as hell didn't accept that in his life.

God what had she been thinking?

She hadn't been thinking, which was part of the problem. But she was certainly thinking at this point, that she was a little priss who couldn't deal with her problems.

It wasn't the type of person she usually was, usually dealing with things head one, but today she had made that exception, even going as far as instructing Peyton to tell Nathan she was out of the office if he stopped by.

Stupid, it had been really stupid, which was exactly what Peyton told her, pointing to the fact that not only was Nathan her best friend, they also worked at the same law firm. He would know when she was in her office and he certainly would know that she was avoiding him, avoiding his calls. But she had begged Peyton to do what she had asked, trying to ignore the curiosity on Peyton's face.

This morning she had barely been able to deal with things herself, hence what she did this morning. She sure as hell hadn't been ready to tell Peyton.

"Look at you, gorgeous as ever. Just my luck we're not standing under some mistletoe."

"Well that would certainly get the company fodder going," Haley laughed, as she turned around to see one of the subjects of her thoughts standing before her.

"Well with Johnson singing his ass off and Joe Turner hitting on Julian Baker's new secretary, why not add another topic of conversation to Monday's daily gossip. Good way to bring in the New Year don't you think," Peyton Sawyer stated with a small laugh.

"Ugh I can't believe Joe is hitting on that poor girl. Someone should have warned her that he's a slimeball" Haley stated, laughing when Peyton gave her an eyeroll. "What?" she asked in amusement.

"Poor girl? Haley I know Candy is not the sharpest tool in the shed, but it's pretty hard to miss that Joe Turner is married what with the gold ring he's sporting on his left hand. Oh and let's not forget the wife he brought along with him" Peyton said with a laugh. "And slimeball? I've taught you far worse language than that. You can do better."

"Asshole?" Haley said lowly, ever mindful of the fact that while they were at a party, they were still around her co-workers as well as her bosses.

"Asshole! That's fantastic Hales!" Peyton stated in a rather loud voice, laughing when Haley hit her arm as a few of their co-workers looked over at them in amusement.

"Peyton. Jeez," Haley attempted to admonish, smiling at the people who were looking at them, hoping they would return back to their conversations. She could feel a slight blush start to bloom on her face, as one of her colleagues clearly tried to asses what she and Peyton were talking about.

She let out a little laugh. She was a bit mortified, but more so amused. This is why she loved having Peyton Sawyer in her life. She reminded her that she didn't always have to be serious, a fact that was hard to remember when working in a law firm.

"Oh come on Haley. You think by Monday Johnson and McNamara are going to be worried about you saying asshole? I say one more cup of egg nog and Johnson is going to have to worry about a whole lot more. I think I saw him attempting to strip off his shirt before McNamara stopped him," Peyton stated in delight.

"You're finding joy in this, aren't you? You're terrible," Haley joked, shaking her head in reprimand. "So are the boys. I told them not to put that much rum in the egg nog. Now half the party is drunk," she sighed, though she couldn't help but smile as Peyton let out a small laugh.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Peyton whispered conspiratorially into Haley's ear.

"It depends. Are we walking into Peyton and Jake's sex life secret territory, because then I have to pass. The story you told me about Jenny's conception still haunts me. Talk about party foul of the mental image," Haley joked, watching as Peyton gave her an impressed look.

"Woah ho, ho. Looks like someone other than Johnson broke into the egg nog," Peyton laughed, shaking her head in mock disappointment at Haley. "We're friends Hales, friends share those sorts of things."

"You forget I grew up with Lucas as my best friend. If I told him about my sex life he would probably want to cut off his ears. With you and I, a few details sure. Painting the whole picture? Umm no. I swear I still blush sometimes when I see Jake," Haley stated with laugh, before taking a sip of her wine.

"What about Nathan?" Peyton asked, with a small laugh as Haley coughed a bit.

"Nathan?" Haley stated, coughing again.

Peyton bringing up Nathan had surprised her to say the least, causing her sip of wine to go down a little wrong. She coughed again, trying to clear her throat. Peyton couldn't know about…..no, no. She couldn't. Could she?

"What does Nathan have to do with Jake and your sex life? Want to tell me something?" Haley joked trying to change the subject.

"Do you?" Peyton asked, searching Haley's eyes, giving her a smile.

"Me? No. No. I thought you wanted to tell me something. A secret" Haley said, encouraging Peyton to tell her what she had intended, in an attempt to once again get Peyton off the topic of Nathan.

She was going to tell Peyton. Really she was. God she just didn't know how to.

Growing up she hadn't had many girls for friends. She of course had contact with women. Her mother, Karen, her sisters. She was close to them all, but growing up she had never been friends with girls her own age. Instead, all her friends had been guys. It was great as a little girl, because she hadn't been a typical girl. Instead of wanting to play with dolls and tea sets, she had preferred to play tag and make mud pies with Lucas and the boys. She had just felt comfortable with the guys. Safe, secure, which did not change once she got to high school. She still preferred her time to be spent with the guys, especially when she realized the gulf between she and the girls at school was far larger than she had realized. Yet she could admit sometimes it had been hard, not having a girl friend in her life, someone who could understand entirely what it was like to be a girl, a teenage girl. She was close to Lucas, and of course Nathan, but there were some things she couldn't talk to them about. Boys, her period, getting a new bra, she could just imagine the look of horror that would have befallen the Scott boys' faces had she brought up any of the sort. Instead she relied on her mother, Karen, and her sisters for those conversations.

However, that changed when she went away to school at Stanford. She still had Lucas around since he went to Berkley only an hour away from her, but at college most of her friendships were with girls. Her closest was with Lindsey Strauss, her freshman year roommate.

Lindsey and she had hit it off right from the start, finding a rather quick bond. She had been happy to have a friend in her life that she had similar interests with, that she could get along with so easy, that she could talk to. When she found herself interested in a boy in her freshman year English Lit class, it was Lindsey she had talked to. When she had questions about make up, about what types of clothes would appeal more to guys, it was Lindsey she had talked to. When she had sex for the first time with her first boyfriend in college, it was Lindsey she had talked to. She loved having the boys in her life, but she had realized through her friendship with Lindsey how important it was to have the perspective of a girlfriend. She could talk about things like sex and not have to worry about feeling uncomfortable, or having Lindsey lose it, as certainly Lucas or any of the guys would have. It was common for the boys to sometimes forget that she was their friend, not their little sister. So she valued Lindsey, and she certainly valued Peyton, who opened her up more, who pushed her to be the confident, strong woman she had always wanted to be. But God it was just too hard to tell her what happened. She didn't even know how to breach the topic.

"Yeah okay," Peyton laughed, shaking her head. "My secret is that I told the boys to put a ton of rum in the egg nog" she stated in amusement.

"What?! Peyton!" Haley scolded, watching as Peyton shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. She should have known.

"Oh come on Haley. I know you're a lawyer like half the people in this room, but you and everyone else need to loosen up a little. It's the holidays. What better reason to get drunk?" Peyton laughed, brining her glass of wine to her lips and taking a sip for show.

"Loosening up is fine. That is not," Haley said, as she pointed over to Johnson, who was now singing along to Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas."

"You're right. He's no Mariah" Peyton joked, laughing when Haley hit her arm once again. "It's fine Haley. God I can't wait for Jake to come. He'll love this. It reminds me of the time when we spiked the punch at our senior prom. Classic."

"What is wrong with you two?" Haley laughed, not helping but be amused by Peyton's antics. "Where is the better half by the way?" she teased, laughing again when Peyton stuck her tongue out at her.

"You're such a mean boss" Peyton stated in a dramatic fashion, putting her hand to her heart. "He's on his way, he just had to drop Jenny off. Jake's parents are going to watch her overnight."

"Oh that's nice of them," Haley stated with a smile, as Peyton nodded at her.

Although Peyton and Jake loved their little girl immensely, she knew it was hard for the both of them to sometimes balance taking care of her. With Peyton working for her, as well as devoting herself to her art, and Jake a music teacher as well as a musician, they had little time to themselves after working and parenting. She was glad they were getting a night to just be.

"Yeah well Jake practically begged them after I came out of our bedroom wearing this little number," Peyton stated, as she pointed down at her dress. "He's so easy. I swear he was on the phone asking them to take Jenny for the night before I had made it two feet into the living room."

"Well I'm glad you two are getting a night to yourselves. You both certainly deserve it. Just keep the really graphic details to yourself, please" Haley joked, watching as Peyton smirked at her. "By the way you look gorgeous. The green looks fantastic on you" she commented as she looked at Peyton in her knee length dress.

It was a perfect dress on her, really it was. Elegant due to the thick black belt adorned with a sparkly broach around her waist, but a little edgy due to the slit that ran up the side of the dress. They had gone shopping for dresses two weeks ago, but Peyton had trouble finding a dress she liked, stating that everything was so generic and obviously mass produced. She remembered they had gone to about fifteen stores, until Peyton had finally found the dress she was wearing now.

Peyton had been nervous about sporting it since it was a little tight, lamenting that she still carried around a little weight from her pregnancy, but she admonished Peyton telling her she was silly, before encouraging her to get it. She had told Peyton that the dress had seemed as if was made for her, it fitting perfectly.

"Thank you. And thank you for encouraging me to get it, despite the girly moment I was having" Peyton joked, shaking her head at herself.

Haley smiled softly as she patted Peyton's arm. "That's what friends are for "Peyt, I swear I don't know what I would have done without you the past couple of months. You keep me sane here, really. You're one hell of a friend" she said, smiling again when Peyton gave her a rare smile of her own.

"Ditto," Peyton stated, throwing an arm around Haley and giving her a squeeze.

"Besides which, if you're and I quote 'as fat as a cow,' then I don't know what I would be categorized as" Haley joked, repeating what Peyton had said when they had been shopping.

Letting out a small laugh when Peyton rolled her eyes at her once again, she brought her wine glass to her lips before taking a sip.

"What does Nathan say?" Peyton asked, laughing as Haley coughed again.

"Nathan? What? Huh?" Haley rambled, coughing as she once again tried to relieve herself after her wine went down the wrong way.

Looking over at Peyton she took in the small smirk, the curly blonde had plastered on her face.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Peyton knew something was up. But how...how did she know?

"Nathan. You know New York City's leading attorney, the firm's most successful associate, your best friend. Dark hair, blue eyes, as handsome as they come. Nathan Scott" Peyton stated dryly, before flapping her eyelashes in an exaggerated way.

Haley cleared her throat, searching Peyton's eyes. "I umm…..I haven't see Nathan today."

What does she know? Oh God, what does she know?

"Yeah I gathered that since you seemed to have made it your mission today to avoid him," Peyton stated with a laugh as she shook her head.

"I have not!" Haley denied, sighing when Peyton arched one her eyebrows at her.

"Oh no? Peyton, if Nathan drops by tell him I'm not here. Peyton, if Nathan calls take a message or tell him I'm in a meeting. Peyton, if Nathan asks what I'm up to, tell him I really busy," Peyton mocked, doing her best to sound like Haley. "If that's not avoidance I don't know what is."

"I well…..I umm….." Haley began to ramble not sure what to say, not sure where to start.

Damn Peyton was good.

"Oh and let's not forget today when Nathan did actually stop by your office, you saw him as you were headed back from a meeting with McNamara and freaked. I've never seen you run so fast, and into the ladies room nonetheless" Peyton laughed, shaking her head. "Real smooth by the way Haley. The 'ole bathroom ditch'."

"Ugh. I was hoping no one had seen that" Haley stated, feeling herself blush at the memory.

She was a coward. She really was. But when she had gotten back from her meeting with McNamara about her latest case, and saw Nathan standing in front of Peyton's desk, just outside her office, she had freaked practically bolting into the ladies room. Having been submerged in legal jargon and talks of New York State mandates, she sure as hell hadn't been prepared to switch gears and talk about her life.

What a mess she had made.

"By the way Nathan didn't see you, thanks to me. Of course, now he thinks I'm weirdly into the stapler I keep on my desk," Peyton stated with a laugh.

"What?" Haley asked, laughter calming some of the nerves she felt by the mention of Nathan, of her reliving what had happened between them, about how poorly she had handled everything.

"When I saw you were headed towards your office, and knew you realized too late that Nathan was there, the only way I could get him from turning around and seeing you was by pointing to something on my desk to distract him. I ended up telling him all about how much I love my stapler" Peyton explained sarcastically, giving a small glare to Haley. "Now, if I get a stapler for Christmas from Nathan, I'm going to be really annoyed" she warned.

"Noted. No office supplies for Peyton this Christmas" Haley joked, blowing out a baited breath at Peyton's story.

"So are you going to tell me you and Nathan had sex last night or am I going to have to keep putting you on the edge, until you cave, and finally spill your guts?" Peyton asked bluntly, before taking another sip of her wine.

"I….I….what….how did you….I what?" Haley rambled once more, feeling an intense blush bloom on her face.

She couldn't help but quickly scan the people around her, making sure they hadn't heard what Peyton had said. She had enough to deal with what with having slept with her best friend and Peyton apparently knowing about it. She didn't need her colleagues to know, especially with the firm's rule about interoffice dating.

God did sleeping with her best friend count? She took another sip of her champagne. Thankfully most of the people around them had congregated to the center of the room to watch Johnson bolt out "Silver Bells".

"I believe I said something about you, Nathan, and sex. Something you conveniently forgot to tell me today might I add" Peyton said pointedly, raising her eyebrow at Haley.

"What in the hell did you and Nathan talk about when he came to find me? I thought it was staplers" Haley sighed, still in a little shock that Peyton knew, still in complete shock that Nathan had talked to Peyton about the fact that they had sex.

Nathan and Peyton were close, but it wasn't like Nathan to tell an intimate detail like that to a friend. Nathan was secretive with most, not one to bare what was on his mind or plaguing him. Unless of course last night meant nothing to him, she meant nothing to him, and he hadn't cared about telling Peyton.

She shook her head at herself at the thought. She had no idea what last night meant, what was going to happen between she and Nathan, how the hell she was going to deal with the fallout from this morning, from avoiding him all day, but she knew enough to know that last night wasn't meaningless, that she did mean something to him.

"Nathan didn't tell me Hales. I know I may be blonde, but I ain't stupid. It was pretty obvious what with the way you both were acting" Peyton responded, laughing at the confusion etched on Haley's face.

"Well than you are more powerful than I thought. Or maybe I'm just that transparent" Haley stated, watching as Peyton shrugged her shoulders at her.

"The former is obvious. I am powerful, bow down" Peyton teased, with a small laugh. "And yes you my friend are extremely transparent."

"God. Do you think people know?" Haley asked worried, scanning the room around her once again, thankful to still find that Peyton and she were alone in the corner of the room they were occupying.

"What? That you and Nathan had what I'm sure was very hot, very passionate sex last night," Peyton stated knowingly.

"What? Oh my God Peyton" Haley groaned, covering her face, attempting to hide the crimson hue she knew she was sporting.

"So it was hot and passionate. I knew it!" Peyton stated triumphantly, raising her fist in the air in victory.

"Please ground open up and swallow me whole" Haley mumbled, glaring at Peyton when she raised her fist in the air. "Great now you know I had sex. I'm sure everyone knows I had sex and if they didn't it won't be too long. Oh my God what if I get fired? What if Nathan gets fired? Oh God?" Haley rambled in a panic.

"Haley calm down. No one is getting fired. As far as I know, I'm the only one in this office besides you and Nathan that knows" Peyton said softly, giving Haley a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"God was I really transparent?" Haley moaned, although finding relief in Peyton's words.

"Let's see, you avoided Nathan all day, which you never do. Whenever I went to go ask you something you were either frazzled or had a faraway, dreamy look on your face. Plus add to the fact that despite all the emotions you were going through all day, you couldn't help but sneak out some very big, very obvious blissed out smiles…..no it wasn't that hard to figure out," Peyton explained, smirking at Haley who groaned before she put her face in her hands. "I mean that evidence would have totally helped me figure it out, if Jake hadn't spilled the beans."

"I'm sorry, what?!" Haley asked, getting thrown for a loop once again by Peyton.

Now Jake knew. Or wait, what was that? Jake had told Peyton. Who in the hell had told Jake?

"Apparently Nathan called Jake earlier today needing Jake's advice. He said at first it was just about a girl, but Jake picked up really quickly on the fact it was about you," Peyton explained, as Haley listened attentively.

"Advice? About me?" Haley repeated, biting her lip as her mind began to go into overdrive thinking about Nathan, about what kind of conversation he could have had with Jake, about why he went to Jake in the first place.

"Yeah. Jake said he was upset and confused about what had happened this morning with the both of you," Peyton said with a little sympathy, before letting out a small laugh. "I mean I never pegged you Hales as the 'hit em and quit em' type. Nathan yes. You, definitely not."

"Ugh God. It's such a mess Peyton. I've made such a mess" Haley stated, feeling herself get overwhelmed with everything, about the fact that she had truly made a mess, a mess she might not be able to fix.

Nathan had sought out Jake's help. He had been upset, confused…...God she had made a royal mess.

"Don't do that. Don't get upset Haley," Peyton told her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"How can I not Peyt? I mean not only did I sleep with Nathan, my best friend, I completely abandoned him the morning after. I didn't say anything to him. Not one word. And oh no did I try to fix that? Nope! I just went right on not talking to him, avoiding him the entire day. God he probably hates me or at the very least is super pissed off at me," Haley sighed, holding back the tears she could feel welling up, tears she had been keeping in all day.

She had been on an emotional roller coaster today, feeling all so much, so quickly, barely being able to process any of it. Of course it all had to surface at the office holiday party. Great. She was going to need a glass of the eggnog in about two minutes, because her wine was surely not helping her frazzled nerves.

"Haley be serious. Nathan doesn't hate you. I don't think he could even if he tried. It's so clear that man is head over heels for you. I still don't understand how you have denied it to yourself all this time, but I glad to see you finally opened your eyes" Peyton stated with a small smile.

"Peyt come on. Nathan, head over heels for me? I don't think so," Haley sighed, shaking her head as Peyton looked at her pointedly.

It wasn't the first time that Peyton had voice such a notion. In fact, the first time Peyton had met Nathan, Peyton had pulled her aside and asked her to explain their entire history. When she had finished, Peyton had asked whether or not they had ever dated. When she had laughed at the question, Peyton had held steadfast. She denied it, rolling her eyes when Peyton told her that if Nathan and she hadn't dated yet, it would eventually happen. She had laughed once again at that, Peyton responding by telling her it was written all over Nathan's face the way he felt about her. That something happening between them was inevitable.

"Haley I know you're smart, hell probably the smartest person in this room, but I swear you can be so dumb sometimes" Peyton stated dryly with a shake of her head.

"Well gee, thanks Peyt," Haley stated dryly, rolling her eyes at Peyton.

"What? It's true. Haley, how can you not see how much Nathan loves you," Peyton said, shaking her head at Haley in disbelief.

"Love? I…..love…...no. Peyton, how many times do I have to tell you that…" Haley started, stopping when Peyton held up her hand.

"Haley you can tell me all you want about how you and Nathan have never been together, how you are friends and only friends, that you could never be with him, that he would never want a girl like you, which by the way is still as preposterous today as it was the first time you voiced it to me, but honestly it's all preposterous. You don't have to say anything, because it's as clear as day when he looks at you. I mean….have you taken in the way Nathan looks at you? I'm serious," Peyton asked, searching Haley's eyes.

"I…..I….I don't know….I…..I don't" Haley rambled, shaking her head watching Peyton smile at her. "How does he ummmm…..how does he look at me?"

"He looks at you like a man that is completely enamored, completely captivated, completely in love" Peyton said, her smile growing more with her words.

"In love" Haley repeated, taking in Peyton's words blowing out a slow breath.

"Last night, when you guys were together…"

"Peyton I'm not giving you a play by play" Haley couldn't help but laugh, Peyton joining in with her.

"We'll work on that. But what I was going to ask, before you interrupted me," Peyton stated pointedly, "was how did Nathan look at you last night, what did you feel, how did you feel?"

"I…..I….gosh...I" Haley rambled, shaking her head before closing her eyes, contemplating Peyton's questions.

The way Nathan had looked at her last night….God it had taken her breath away. Even before they had sex, even before they had gone to his apartment, even before they had kissed…...the way he had looked at her last night…..she closed her eyes at the thought.

After the others had left last night it had just been she and Nathan finishing up the preparation for the holiday party. They had gotten everything done quite quickly and efficiently by splitting up the tasks she had left on her list. The last thing that had to be done was decorating the large Christmas tree that they had displayed in one of the corner's of the room.

Although they had been talking most of the night, by the time they were almost done decorating, they had been silent, going about their task, comfortably so. It had reminded her so much of when they had been teenagers, of the days they had walked along the Marina so many years ago, sometimes saying nothing, but comforted by the silence, by just the mere presence of one another. At the thought, she had looked over at Nathan, smiling to herself when she found him in deep concentration as he decorated the tree. She had smiled at the sight, at the reminder to herself that although Nathan hated the holidays, he had been participating in getting the holiday party ready for her. Smiling wider she had called out his name, feeling her breath leave her when he had turned to her, the look in his eyes so intense. The intensity so much like what she had experienced many times before, it easy for her to see that he had a sea of emotions swimming in the dark blue of his eyes. Sometimes she had been able to discern what he was feeling, what those emotions meant, and sometimes she couldn't. But last night as he looked back at her, only a few feet between them, the air around them crackling, she had found herself thrown of kilter by what she saw within his eyes. Admiration, appreciation, respect….want, desire, need.

She told herself that she had to be wrong. Wrong of course to think that Nathan could want her. That Nathan could need her. That Nathan could desire her. She had to be wrong.

She had shaken her head at herself, tried to break the moment by asking Nathan what his favorite Christmas memory was. She had needed something to take her mind off of what she was so sure could not exist.

She had watched him smile at her question, had sucked in a breath when he moved closer to her, before smiling herself when he said that his first Christmas in Tree Hill had been his favorite.

She had remembered that Christmas, quite vividly so. It had been the first Christmas that her extended family had gone to her mother's sister's house, her family staying home in Tree Hill. It was a rarity, since they always hosted Christmas for the whole family at their house, but that year her parent's had wanted a quiet holiday since it was the last Christmas Vivian, her oldest sister, would be spending at home before she went off to college. It has also been the first Christmas celebration at her house that the Scott's had attended.

Her parents had initially intended to only have a celebration between the family, but when her mother and father found out that the Scott's too were planning a small celebration at their own home, they suggested bringing their celebrations together. What with her friendship with Lucas strong, the friendships between her parents and the Scott's growing every day, her parents wanted to make sure that the Scott's first holiday in Tree HIll was a happy one.

And it had been. She remembered worrying if her family would be too much for the Scott's, that the way they celebrated Christmas would make the Scott's uncomfortable, but she had been wrong. The Scott's had fit in perfectly, even Nathan to her surprise.

Up until then they had still been holding a grudge against one another. They had still remembered that they hated one another, she sure as hell hadn't forgotten what he had done to Mr. Waffles, but they hadn't been at each others throats, avoiding each other for most of the night. That was until she went to go turn on the Christmas Tree lights as her mother had asked, finding Nathan standing in front of the tree just staring at the ornaments. She had found it a bit strange, couldn't help but point out the fact, rolling her eyes when Nathan had turned and gave her a scowl before turning his head back to the tree.

Fighting the urge to tell him off, she had turned on the lights, with all intent and purpose to return back to the dining room where everyone was sitting, when Nathan had stopped her. He had asked her what was her favorite ornament on the tree, a question that her surprised her coming from Nathan. She said as much, then asked if he wanted to know so he could do something to it like he had with Mr. Waffles. Nathan had stated he hadn't done anything to her 'stupid bear,' before explaining that he just asked her what her favorite ornament was because he was curious. Intrigued by his question, she had sighed to herself before pointing to an ornament on the tree.

It hadn't looked very special. Not at least when compared to the other ornaments on the tree that had sparkled with glitter and sequins, vibrant colors popping out, their shapes intricate and detailed. No her favorite ornament was a plain red sphere, with the simple saying, 'Joy to the World' etched on it in script.

Nathan had asked her why it was her favorite, and she had explained to him that it was the last thing her grandmother had given to her before she had died.

She remembered a sense of sadness overwhelming her, having been close to her grandmother, her death divesting her. While her grandmother had given the ornament to the entire family, it was she who her grandmother had presented the ornament to her, her grandmother telling her that she wanted her to remember that when life got tough, when bad things happened, when she was frightened, or believed something was impossible, to always remember that there was joy to be found in the world. In triumphant, in success, in failure, in living.

She remembered telling Nathan about her last days with her grandma, the story of the ornament as she stared at the red sphere on the tree. When she had finished and looked over to Nathan she found to her surprise that he had been listening to her intently, sadness in his eyes. Sadness not in reaction to the story she had told him, not in reaction to her memories, but sadness for her. It had surprised her. The realization that Nathan could feel more than just hate for her.

But what had really surprised her was when Nathan had told her that he was sorry.

She had joked, asking if he was apologizing for hurting Mr. Waffles, laughing when he broke out into some laughter of his own.

That had been the first time she had seen Nathan Scott laugh. He had told her absolutely not, but that he was sorry about her losing her grandmother. She had smiled at him, a genuine smile that he was quick to return. It had been a nice moment between them. The anger they had for one another, the hatred, had still been there, it hadn't been forgotten, but for that day, in that moment, they had forgotten all that happened between one another, and just simply were. Together.

She had smiled at him once again before gently taking the ornament down from the tree, holding it out to him.

She had remembered the look of surprise etched on his face, a look that remained as she told him that she wanted him to have the ornament. He had refused at first, shook his head at her, but she had insisted telling him that her mother had told her that her grandmother had presented her the ornament so she would remember the beauty that life could bring, that the ornament would help her to remember to find peace in the world even when life sent her struggle.

She had seen he was about to object again, so she grabbed his hand, placing the ornament in his grasp, before giving him a smile as he clutched it. He had said thank you softly, so softly that she had barely been able to hear it, but when she looked at him, looked into his eyes, she could see the gratitude swimming in them.

It had been a nice moment. A good memory. One that she had easily forgotten during the years when she and Nathan had been at one another's throats. But as she stood next to Nathan last night in front of the christmas tree that they had decorated together, she couldn't help but smile at how vividly she could recall that moment between them. What she had said, what he had said…..the way she had felt.

When she asked Nathan why that particular moment was his favorite memory of Christmas, he had smirked at her, joking that it was his favorite because he had realized that day, that not even Haley James could resist his charm.

She had laughed at his words, smacking him on the arm playfully, rolling her eyes at him when he feigned hurt. He had laughed too, before growing serious, the intensity within in his eyes once again taking her breath away. He explained to her that it was his favorite memory because that day had been the first time that he had been around the entire James family. The first time he had really gotten to know them and understand them. He had discovered how close they were, how fiercely they loved one another and it had given him some solace at a time when he had felt that his own family was falling apart. He had explained that by then Dan had been riding him hard about basketball. While Karen had tried to protect him as best she could, she hadn't done enough. But seeing her family together, had reminded him of memories of his own family. Memories of his mother tucking him at night, memories of his father taking Lucas and him fishing or teaching them how to shoot a two pointer as they horsed around on the family basketball court. It had given him hope that his family could get back to that, get back to being a family. But he said most of all, it was his favorite memory because she had been there for him. Even if she hadn't known it, even if it hadn't been her intention, she had been there for him. He explained that her story of her grandmother, she giving him her ornament, had helped him realize that she had seen him, that he had existed to her, and that had helped to push away the loneliness he had been feeling at that time. That deep down in some way, she had cared.

That was when she saw it again, in his blue eyes. The same blue eyes that had intrigued her when she had first met him. The same blue eyes that had set her off so many times. The same blue eyes that she had often found herself lost in. Lost in the way that they could peer into her, lost in the way they could make the world around her disappear, lost in the way they could make her feel safe, make her feel comforted, make her feel needed…..make her feel wanted. The way he looked at her…...it set fire off within her. As a teenager that had scared her, scared her because of how intense it was, how intense it made her feel about him, about them. So she denied that the fire existed, not within her, because that was too hard to ignore, but within him. She told herself that the intensity she felt for him…..he couldn't possibly feel that too. The all consuming need to be with her, to have her, it couldn't be true. The passion, the want. He couldn't feel it too.

But last night as he looked at her, his blue eyes so deep, so soulful, so full of want, of need, of desire…...she knew he felt it too, the fire that was quickly threatening to consume her. The fire she had felt for years. The fire that began to grow more and more intense when she had felt him place his hand on her arm, when he slowly brought her into his embrace…...when he whispered her name….when he brought his lips to hers.

He had kissed her, an action that at first had shocked her. She had seen the look in his eyes, the want, the need, the desire for her, but she hadn't expected him to kiss her. Definitely not. So she had held still, taking in the feel of his lips against hers, the mingling of their breaths, the beat of their hearts in sync with one another. But when he whispered her name against her lips, this time shaky, still full of want, but a want that was desperate, she felt the desperation within herself and began to respond to his kiss.

Throwing her arms around his neck she had sunk further into his body, moaning his name as he slowly sucked on her bottom lip, before he did the same to her top lip. She could feel him savoring her, tasting her, taking her all in and she had kissed him back with more fervor, doing as he had done, sucking his bottom lip, before doing the same to his top lip.

They had kissed like that for several long minutes, only breaking apart when the need for air became too strong. But they hadn't separated, her body still aligned with his, his arms wrapped around her, his arms splayed on her back, her hands still gripping his shirt. He had rested his forehead against hers, their breaths once again intermingling before he whispered that he had wanted to kiss her for so long, that he had wanted her for so long.

That was when she had felt her control snap, the control she had been holding onto for so long. She had captured his lips once more, moaning into them, as she felt him kiss her deeper, his tongue begging for entrance, which she had quickly granted him.

It all happened so fast. Their talk, their kiss, Nathan confessing that he wanted her…..she telling Nathan that she wanted to go back to his apartment.

It hadn't been like her. To move so fast, to lose her inhibitions so quickly, to let her need and want consume her so much so, that she could feel her ability to think, to rationalize, to be realistic slowly slip away. But it was Nathan…...and none of that had mattered. Reason, rules, consequences, repercussions. None of that had mattered. All that had mattered had been Nathan, them….being with him, giving in to the need, the want that had been consuming her. The need and want that had her body screaming out for him.

They made love twice last night, Nathan making her feel…...God it had never felt like that, with anyone before. Granted she had only slept with two other men in her life, and while her sexual experiences with them had been fine, they were nothing like what she had experienced last night. The way Nathan had kissed her, the way he had touched her, the way he had moved inside her….it had all be so intense. Not just because it had been so passionate, not just because it had felt so damn good, not just because he had her reaching peaks she had never reached before…..but because she had felt so connected to him.

His eyes, his beautiful blue eyes, had stayed locked on her practically the entire time they had made love. Like always they saw right into her, but it had been more than that. She could feel him taking her in, more than he had ever before. Taking in the way she had smiled at him when he had laid her down on his bed. Taking in the way she had bit her lip as he began to undress her, his hands whispering against her skin. Taking in the way she had tipped her head back when he brought his lips to her throat, to her breasts, to her sex. Taking in the way she had cried out his name when he finally joined them, the feeling of him inside of her exquisite.

He had watched her, kept his eyes connected to her as they moved against one another, each of them bringing pleasure to one another in their movements, each of them bringing one another ecstasy as their hands touched and caressed, each of them bringing the other to the edge, to the point of no return.

It had been amazing. Far more amazing then she had ever thought it could be. Not because of the way it had felt to have Nathan kiss her, to touch her, to join them together, though all of that had been out of this world. Last night had been amazing because of the way he had made her feel.

She had felt connected to him. Completely.

Even after they had made love the second time, and Nathan had fallen fast asleep she had still felt that connection as he laid behind her, his naked chest against her bare back, his palm resting below her breast, his lips placed on the back of her neck.

It had been perfect. What she had been feeling had been perfect, being in his arms had been perfect, making love…..had been absolutely perfect.

And all of that, the night, what had happened, what had transpired between them….it had all scared her. Being with him, being them, getting lost in that, in him…..it had been perfect, and the threat of losing that, it had scared her.

Scared her so much that she had run.

As the light of dawn had seeped slowly through the windows of Nathan's bedroom she had panicked. Making sure not to wake him, she had moved out of his embrace, had dressed quickly, and had left his apartment. Left him behind, left him alone, without any word or explanation. Nothing because she she couldn't, didn't know what to say to him, too scared of what would come from what had taken place between them.

That was why she had been avoiding him all day, knowing that everything between them had changed, everything. She didn't know how to deal with that, couldn't.

"Hales?"

"God I'm sorry Peyton," Haley apologized, realizing that she had zoned out on Peyton.

"It was that good, wasn't it?" Peyton laughed as Haley blushed a deeper red.

"I uh….I umm…." Haley began to ramble, before letting out a small sigh as she took in Peyton's waiting face. "Yes. God yes," she confessed, letting out a small laugh as Peyton gave her a knowing smirk.

"So let me get this straight. Nathan finally confesses to you about the way he feels, you guys have what I'm sure was one hell of a night, and then you left him without saying a word?" Peyton asked, the confusion evident in her voice.

"Yes," Haley said, not missing the pointed look Peyton gave her. "What Peyt?"

"What Peyt?" Peyton repeated, before shaking her head at Haley. "Are you crazy, Haley? Or is this the 'smart girl being so completely stupid' thing again. I mean I know you told me that you used to have a crush on Nathan when you were younger, that it died, that you moved on, but it's clear to anyone that you're just as in love with Nathan as he clearly is with you. What gives?"

"I'm scared," Haley stated, the surprise she felt matching the surprise written on Peyton's face at her confession.

"Man. I thought I was going to have to wrangle the truth out of you. I have to say it's been one hell of a day" Peyton laughed, before quieting when Haley began biting her lip. "Haley what's there to be afraid of?"

"Are you serious Peyt?" Haley asked, not helping but let out a small laugh. "Oh I don't know…..everything" she stated in exasperation.

She knew what Peyton was doing. Knew that Peyton was rying to make her see that what she had been worrying about, what she had been brewing over, not only today but the past ten years of her life, was stupid. But it wasn't. She couldn't lose Nathan. The fear of that still as strong as it had been when she was fifteen years old.

"Don't be so dramatic Haley," Peyton laughed once again, rolling her eyes.

"Dramatic?" Haley repeated, not helping the small glare that came to her face.

"Too much tough love?" Peyton asked, tipping her head as she looked at Haley.

"Just a bit" Haley said with a small laugh, shaking her head.

"Sorry. I'll take in down a notch" Peyton told her, watching as Haley laughed at her. "Look Haley, there are things far more scary than finding out you're in love with your best friend" she stated with sincerity.

"Acid wash jeans?" Haley asked, smiling when Peyton let out a little laugh.

"Oh hell yes. Acid wash jeans, my mother-in-law, people who don't drink coffee, Doug Johnson's singing….."

"Clowns," Haley added, shuddering at the thought.

"What is with your excessive hatred of clowns?" Peyton laughed, shaking her head.

"Ummmm hello? The make up, the wide grin…...the giant shoes" Haley stated with another shudder, smacking Peyton's arm playfully as she laughed at her. "And I still promise I will not speak to you for an entire month if you still plan on getting that clown to come for Jenny's birthday."

"Alright, alright. I guess poor Jenny will have to do without a clown since her Aunt Haley is such a big baby." Peyton joked, with a grin.

"Whatever. They're scary. Just like your cooking," Haley teased, laughing as Peyton glared at her.

"I am not that bad!" Peyton protested, folding her arms across her chest.

"Sending Jake to the hospital for food poising isn't bad?" Haley pointed out.

"It was one time. Plus I stand by my argument that there was no expiration date on that cheese that I used," Peyton stated, with a triumphant nod to her head.

"Jake said the cheese was blue Peyt," Haley laughed, it increasing when Peyton rolled her eyes.

"He's such a whiner. Was it my fault I thought it was blue cheese?" Peyton said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Yeah, especially since you thought blue cheese would be a good addition to a chocolate chip cookie recipe," Haley said, shaking her head at Peyton.

"Whatever. He's still alive. Jeez. You would think I was the worst wife ever with the way Jake tells that story," Peyton pouted, as she shook her head.

"Oh stop. You know that's not true. That man loves you. Bad cooking skills and all," Haley stated, smiling as she watched Peyton smile back at her in content.

"Yeah. I know," Peyton whispered, another soft smile coming to her face. "And that's what I want for you Hales. To be with someone who loves you, and loves you so completely. I think you already have that with Nathan," she explained, as she gave Haley another smile.

"I know you want me to be happy and I appreciate that. I just don't know…..I don't know if pursuing something with Nathan would ensure that," Haley explained, listening to Peyton scoff at her.

"What? Are you serious? The happiest I've seen you is when you're around Nathan. You practically light up the room whenever he comes around. And trust me it's the same for him. I swear I've only seen him smile because of you. Puts the stereotype of lawyers being cold and hard to good use," Peyton explained, watching as Haley smiled at her words.

"I know I light up when he's around, Peyt. God I…..I love him. I do" Haley confessed, feeling herself smile more at her words. She thought it would be scary to say it out loud, to hear it, to fully accept it. But it wasn't. It felt….it felt right. "I have loved him since I was fifteen years old. But even at fifteen years old I knew that he and I….it could never be. It shouldn't happen," she stated with a sigh.

"What? Why not Haley?" Peyton said, shock and sadness evident in her voice.

"I just….when I was fifteen years old I told myself we could never be together because what I felt for him was one sided. That he couldn't possibly feel about me the way I feel about him. That pursuing something with him….that it would probably leave me in tears since Nathan would inevitably reject me or turn me away….."

"And now?" Peyton asked, encouraging her to continue.

"I know the way he looks at me Peyton" Haley whispered, watching as Peyton slowly nodded at her. "I've been denying it for ten years, telling myself it couldn't possibly be true, but after last night…..I now know he feels something for me. I don't know exactly what, maybe attraction…...maybe love, I don't know. And that scares me because the way I feel about him…..I'm crazy about him. Intensely so and all that brings me to, is thinking about what if he doesn't feel the same? What if he does and changes his mind? What if he just wanted to be with me to be with me last night for sex? I just….I can't deal with it, deal with what any of it can do to our friendship."

"That's a lot of what ifs Haley. You can't live your life like that" Peyton said, shaking her head when Haley made an attempt to object. "Look I know that's who you are. It's why I adore you. The way you have this inherent need to make sure everything is right. I think it's what makes you an amazing friend and an amazing person. But it holds you back sometimes and that's not fair to you…...it's not fair to Nathan."

"I know" Haley whispered, blowing out a shaking breath as she brushed a hand through her hair. "I know."

"You should talk to Nathan, Haley. From what Jake said, he's just afraid as you. Afraid to ruin what you guys have, afraid that you don't feel the way he does, afraid that he has hurt you in some way, but he wants you Haley. If you're afraid of anything at least don't be afraid of that, afraid of the belief that he doesn't want you" Peyton explained, wrapping her arm around Haley, bringing her into another hug.

"Thanks Peyt" Haley said with a smile, squeezing Peyton back, letting her know in unsaid words how much she appreciated her advice.

Peyton was right. She needed to talk to Nathan. She was petrified to do so, her stomach flipping at the mere thought, her nerves almost getting the best of her. But Nathan deserved as much. They both did.

"Now what do you say we get some egg nog? Maybe in a few hours we'll be putting on a show to rival Johnson's" Peyton laughed, Haley joining her.

"I would love to, but I think first I'm going to take your advice and go talk to Nathan," Haley said, watching Peyton's face showcase her surprise. "What? I know I've been a coward all day….well actually for years, but it's time I suck it up and put my big girl panties on" she stated, giggling when Peyton nodded her approval.

"Go get 'em tiger!" Peyton cheered, giving her a thumbs up in amusement. "According to Jake, Nathan was running a little late but is coming. They met up after work for drinks before Nathan came back here. I'm guessing since he's not here at the party, he's probably up in the offices."

"Okay. I'll be back soon. Will you be okay alone?" Haley asked, feeling bad for abandoning Peyton at the party.

"Of course. Jake should be here soon. Till then maybe I'll go find Joe Turner for a little chit chat," Peyton joked.

"Yeah you go do that" Haley laughed as she began walking away from Peyton, stopping when Peyton called out to her. "What?" she asked.

"I said you're not a coward Haley. You're just in love. It makes you do crazy things" Peyton said with a warm smile.

"Don't I know it" Haley laughed, before smiling in gratitude at Peyton's words.

"By the way, I left you an early Christmas present on your desk" Peyton smirked, laughing when Haley raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'm partially thankful, partially intrigued…..and definitely scared" Haley laughed, watching Peyton wiggle her eyebrows.

"Oh I have a feeling you're going to be very, very thankful" Peyton stated, winking at Haley.

"Ooooookay" Haley laughed again, giving Peyton a smile before she made her way through the crowd to go find Nathan and finally hash out the events of last night, about what it all meant for them.

AN: So that is the end of chapter one. I hope you all enjoyed it. There will be a total of two chapters to this story. The second chapter will be up soon. Please feel welcome to leave a review.