AN: I own nothing.
"So..." "So..." "Well this isn't awkward is it?" "Well that depends you could say it's awkward or hilarious take your pick." "We could say it's both." "Yeah we could." I looked at it there was no way we could fix this. Nagisa and I had broken our bed. Never you mind how it happened it just did, and we were kind of still on it. "So should we uhh finish?" "Well my mood's kind of gone so..." "Right yeah uhh we should probably buy a new one tomorrow." "Yeah that's probably for the best." "So Nakamura when do you think we..." "Nagisa I don't think we wanna know." "Right sorry." So basically Nagisa and I started dating and finally moved in together. There was only one problem. We went through beds once every two months... Okay that's a lie maybe month and a half... No that's a lie too... Try half a month. Why did we go through beds so fast? Well it probably has something to do with the constant abuse we make our beds go through on a day to day basis, and that's all I'm gonna say about it. For all you know we probably just have termites. Although I would go as far to say that we have super termites. Yeah that's it and they eat the metal bars of the bed. Damn those pesky vermin.
If you have not bought into the whole super termites thing then congratulations you have figured it out, and we have sex... Everyday... Okay so maybe not... That's a lie too we do it three times a day... Minimum... There was this one day when we did it at least... Okay I just realized how sick I'am... Which reminds me that we've had sex when either one of us is sick. Now you might be thinking why? Well have you ever seen Nagisa when he has a fever? I mean WOW besides it's good medicine I read that somewhere... I think... Anyways right now Nagisa and I were taking money from our 'special' jar. This jar had money in it for whenever this happened, and after breaking the first three we figured this was going to be a likely occurrence or habit. "So how much is in there?" "Enough... Hey maybe we can buy that Tempur Pedic bed or that Sleep Number bed." "Really?" "Nagisa at the rate we go through we'll be lucky if we can afford a decent one." "Maybe we should uhh..." "Nagisa let's face it we've had this conversation before, and how does it always end?" "Oh right I uhh..." Then we both remembered how many times we would say we would stop only to continue immediately after. "Well let's go."
So in case you haven't figured it out Nagisa and I don't go to the same furniture store. We go to several different ones due to... Shall we say... Fear of being recognized. We finally arrived at the store. "Okay so which one?" "Hmm ooh how about this one?" "Uhh Nakamura it's made of wood." "Yeah so... I get your point yeah." It was difficult to say the least. At first we bought wooden ones, but those didn't cut it then we bought metal ones and you saw what happened. "So Nagisa maybe we should consider..." "I thought you said..." "I know it's just that well we keep going through beds like they're going out of style and..." I saw it, and it was perfect. "Uhh Nakamura hello." "Yeah I found it Nagisa the perfect bed." I pointed over to the bed it had handle bars, and the head rest was cushioned. (This is actually my bed I'm describing.) "Whoa it's actually pretty good." I rested on it. It was actually quite comfy. "Man I can't wait to break it in." "Uhh Nakamura..." "Shh let me live a little." "Right." Man I can see it now tying up Nagisa's hands to this handle while I... Yeah that is awesome. "We'll take it." "Right."
Nagisa and I were finally setting up the new bed and laying the mattress. "So Nagisa want to break it in?" "Right now?" "Why not I'll get the handcuffs." I went to the drawer that had all of our... Special stuff... Oh shut up like you don't have any weird fetishes have you seen the anime that they put out now a days saying it's okay to bang your relatives... And don't even get me started on the loli crap they put out you people make me sick... Anyways I gathered all of the things and made way back to Nagisa. "Hey I brought all our toys." "All of them?" "Well why not?" "Nakamura we just bought the bed shouldn't we at least try to..." "Okay fine I'll put this all back, but in the meantime I want you to lube up and slip one on cuz we are still breaking it in." "Okay." It's awesome wearing the metaphorical pants in the relationship. Except for those times I don't which is like 60% of the time, but the rest of the time I do... Then again when Nagisa takes charge it's not all bad... IT'S FUCKING AMAZING!
I finally returned and saw Nagisa finish up. "So..." "So..." Agh screw it we are going to hell anyway. After several hours and seven times we were exhausted. "So Nagisa how come you don't ever..." "Nakamura I just don't like the thought of you sucking it okay it's nasty." Then again I could make the argument that when he eats me out for dinner it's the same, but I can understand besides it's probably for the best. Then it happened again. "Nagisa if you say a word..." "Yeah." Well we checked what had happened and the legs were broken. "Well let's keep it like this." "Yeah I guess you are right." "So Nagisa wanna try our bed without the legs?"