New Habits
One.
Summertime has always brought me joy, always pressured me to just go outside in the middle of the night and look up at the stars, and sometimes to just fall asleep in the prickly grass. I never imagined that there would ever be a summer when I didn't wish to go outside, to enjoy life, but instead to sit inside my boyfriend's apartment and think about how bad my life is.
Some people could say that I'm crazy, my life is wonderful. And from the outside perspective, I would agree with them. My boyfriend is making a wonderful amount of money in the business industry. And I would never complain about this apartment, it has an excellent view of the city, is furnished with all the modern styles, and allows me to store all the clothing that anyone could ever afford. So, why am I sulking? Thinking about how bad my life is?
My boyfriend is the issue. Yes, he's making wondrous money and allows me to stay in this lavish apartment but that's all he does.
At first our relationship was glorious, full of love, hugs and kisses. Our relationship was the perfect setting for a fairy-tale book. But we slowly started to plummet, or maybe I should say, he started to show his true self. What used to be sweet, loving and glowing from the feeling of love is now mean, loveless, and dull. He may be able to fulfill my wishes of one day owning a Ferrari or buy me all the high-tail designer clothes but without his love, or happiness, I don't want any of it. Because apparently, money can't buy love, no matter how many people say it can.
I've tried to bring up the conversation, telling him that our love isn't love anymore. But he just pushes the subject to the side, slinging his coat over the back of the couch, claiming that he's tired before heading toward the bedroom to sleep. If he isn't willing to talk about it, then there isn't a chance in the world that our relationship will ever work out.
Major decisions need to be made, and I'm not the best person to deal with decisions. That's why I have a counselor, who helps me think things through before I make rash decisions. Unfortunately, my counselor left town for two months for a vacation. And I'm not quite sure that I can wait two more months without doing something. I have a feeling I'm going to do something that could end up being completely and utterly the worst mistake that I've ever made.
On the positive side, my decision could turn out to be one of the best choices that I've ever made. Let's just keep focusing on the positive side.
My finger swirls around the top of my glass; I have a habit of pouring myself a glass of champagne when I'm trying to think things through. I've discovered that not even drinking it, just holding it a glass in my hand really helps the process. My eyes look down into the light brown liquid, my reflection staring straight back at me. Except, this isn't me. My reflection has been a totally different girl than I once knew for months now. I don't want to continue to look at her, I want to be able to look in the mirror and be able to tell that it's me. That I'm happy.
The door pushes open and I slowly look toward the door, not even bothering to put on a smile. He walks through the door, pushes it shut, removes his jacket, hanging it sloppily on the coat rack beside the door. He doesn't even acknowledge that I'm sitting on the couch, never mind the fact that there might be something wrong with me. He ignores me altogether, walking into the kitchen to get him a bite to eat before going to the bedroom. It's become a ritual; this is what he does every night when he comes home from work. Nothing more, nothing less.
A sigh rips from my mouth; I look toward the glass balcony door in the living room, staring out at the bright lights of the beautiful city. I've always loved the city; it's always been my home. I never thought that one day I would look out a window that overlooked it and wish that I were somewhere else. But tonight, that's exactly what I'm doing.
A couple few hours later I rise from the couch, champagne glass in hand. My feet lead me to the kitchen; I quickly gulp down the remaining liquid in my glass and stick it in the dishwasher. I look toward the bedroom door, the lights are off and the door is shut. No doubt, he is lying peacefully in the bed, not a care in the world, as he sleeps, a light snore erupting from his mouth every ten or so minutes. My eyes flutter shut, salty water building up in my tear ducts. I push them away and open my eyes once again.
Without a second thought I turn off the kitchen light, walking back into the living room. I turn off the light and climb back onto the couch, pulling the cover resting over the back of the couch onto my body. My hand slips up under my head and I look back out the window, allowing the bright city lights to put me to sleep.
A/n: Credit to TheHeartNeverLies442 for the title!
I know this is really short, but I promise the next chapter will be longer. :)
So, it's my birthday, tomorrow…! My Sixteenth Birthday, to be exact:). And, I'm all about posting something on my birthday as my present to you all. Cause, as you may know, my present in return is the reviews. I'm posting before because it's the weekend, and I don't really like posting on Mondays.
I really like how this story is going for me, and I'm not the best updater, especially right now because we're 14 days away from competition, I'm studying for my permit, and school's always a bummer, but I'm going to try really hard on this story and I'm hoping that you all will like it just as much. :)