I live! I write! I get plunnied by IM conversations real bad XP I am mostly working on the Hoenn-based Revive story and the sequel to Phantom Thief right now, although the latter's getting complications due to lack of discernible plot XP Anyway, for now, take this oneshot, which isn't quite in the Reviverse (rather generic, like Silence in the Snow) and I have agreed to classify as hurt/comfort/crack XD You'll see why…
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Blue could feel his heart breaking as he looked down at the shiny new gravestone. It wasn't carved yet, nor had it been prayed for, and that would leave Raticate's soul at the mercy of the angry spirits even now running amok further up in the Tower. But nobody else would or could perform the rites. Mr Fuji did that, and Mr Fuji…
Well, the old fool was at Team Rocket's mercy. Blue wanted him to be here, to make sure his Raticate's spirit would be alright, but… well, obviously, after what had happened the last time he'd fought a Team Rocket thug, how could he go up against them again?
"Raticate…" he thought, kneeling next to the gravestone, pressing his hands to it, as if he could will the name onto the stone. "I'm so, so sorry. I don't want you to be a lost spirit. I wish… I could protect you… you protected me, so many times… I'm sorry, so sorry…"
Stay with me, Master. Don't leave me alone in the dark…
"I won't," he promised to the voice that he'd never heard, yet instantly recognized. "I won't…"
Did he imagine that sucking sensation, the feeling of losing something? Did he imagine that the stone suddenly seemed hollow and empty?
And then who should appear but Red, his old friend, his close rival, his fiercest foe? Of course Blue challenged him to a battle!
But somehow, his heart wasn't in it anymore. Something was lost, some joy of the battle. Red beat him as usual, but somehow it seemed like it was easier for the younger trainer. Like Blue barely even tried.
He kept training, kept fighting, even became the League Champion, but, somehow… it was all acting, all going through the motions. He only truly felt alive in the Silph Co. Building, fighting Team Rocket. Even when Red destroyed them, he didn't feel fulfilled. He became a Leader, taking over the old Team Rocket boss' Gym, as if to prove to himself that Team Rocket were really gone, and would never hurt another Pokémon. Yet, somehow, he didn't feel convinced.
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They're still here, Master. They're hurting them. They're hurting the others!
"I know. I see them."
I want to fight them, Master! We can do it! We're strong! You always said we were invincible together!
"I was wrong. I'm so sorry. I was wrong. And that cost you everything. It's all my fault…"
If you want to make it better, help me stop them, Master! It will keep hurting until they are really gone!
"I promise I'll stay with you, as long as it takes. But we're not strong enough yet. We must get stronger. We'll train again. Like we did before."
For how long, Master?
"As long as it takes. We won't fight unprepared again."
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Blue rolled over and, after a moment, got up with a sigh. Another night was a dead loss; restless sleep, and dreams of training with Raticate. Almost every night, for nearly three years now. It didn't stop haunting him. It wouldn't go, or let him forget.
He'd gone back and made sure that Mr Fuji performed the rites over Raticate's grave, but even so, the old man had said that it was no use. "It still wanders in the Shadowland, unfulfilled. And so do you. Both of you will wander forever, until you can heal your shared pain."
"What was he talking about?" Blue said to the empty Gym as he went through his small apartment, heading for the kitchen. "What pain? Team Rocket, maybe… I was so angry at them… but Red destroyed them. They're gone."
Aren't they?
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We're nearly there, Master! Look! Not as strong as I used to be, but look!
"I know. And we can get stronger, faster, now."
We can show them! We can fight them!
"Not yet. We need to be stronger still. We'll start with her."
A girl was approaching. She only had one Pokémon. It wasn't something they knew, but it was fire and it was young. Of course, so were they. They couldn't regain their old selves, not yet, just minor facsimiles, generic shadows. But it would be enough. They could interact with this girl. They could battle again.
She could see them when he made eye contact.
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Blue jerked right upright, panting as if he'd just run across the world. That dream. It was such a simple, childish battle, as if he was back in his grandfather's lab with Red and their first Pokémon. Yet, somehow, it had made him feel more alive than any battle in a long while, more than any Gym match, more than the League, more than the Championship match with Red.
He couldn't remember or recognize the enemy Pokémon. He'd been small and weak, and so had Raticate, like it was little more than a strong Rattata. But he could remember the girl's face. There was a fierce, ambitious fire in it. It reminded him of Red, not that he'd seen his old friend and rival in a long time. Cracking under his own pressures, Red had isolated himself on the inhospitable Mt Silver. It was nearly a suicidal place to live. Blue didn't question it. Red had his own problems, his own regrets. Nobody climbed as high as they did as young as they were without the atmospheric pressure cracking them somehow.
The fire had gone out in Red's eyes. It was invigorating to see it alive and well in another young trainer's. Even if she'd only been a dream, Blue resolved to remember her face.
And her name. Blue stared blankly at the wall. He knew her name. Why was that? He even knew what he increasingly suspected was her phone number. Oddly specific for a dream.
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We lost, Master…
"I'm so, so sorry. Again. I chose the wrong foe…"
No you didn't, Master. There is more than one way we can get stronger. Battling her did make us stronger. And now we know her, we can battle her again.
"Yes. I can call her back when we're ready. Fight her again. When we are strong enough, we will be able to beat her. We can beat them."
What if she beats them first, Master? Listen to her. She's already met them. In a damp, dark place, filled with the pain of Pokémon, she met them and won…
"If she fights them, we get stronger. We heal. If she beats them, we are free…"
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"… but the shortages will end as soon as the main power generator is…"
"Sorry, sir, but we'll have to interrupt you, because there's breaking news from Johto: Team Rocket, the criminal syndicate thought to have been destroyed three years ago…"
Blue nearly dropped a kettle full of boiling water on his foot. Team Rocket? Alive and running? And he'd thought today would be a good day; he'd had such a peaceful night's sleep, and he'd really enjoyed today's Gym battle…
"… were quickly eliminated after a small takeover of the Goldenrod Radio Tower. Efforts from Lance and several young trainers in the area crushed the revived criminal Syndicate, many members of which are now in jail, including major admins, who had escaped the police net three years ago…"
Blue paused. Then, moving slowly, he poured out some hot water and dropped in a couple of the special tea leaves his sister had sent him.
Team Rocket. They'd still existed, these three years, but now… now they were gone. Really gone. They'd really never hurt another Pokémon…
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Lyra got endless calls of congratulations after the news broke that she had been among those who had rescued the Radio Tower and destroyed Team Rocket. Amongst the dozens of calls, she didn't notice the once-prevalent voice that was now absent, and it took her a long time to notice that he hadn't called since. By then, she'd already met Kanto's greatest gym leader, a young man so melancholy yet his family said that he had lightened recently.
Unlike most leaders, he wouldn't trade contact numbers with her directly; she had to ask his sister. Surely she must have passed Lyra's number onto her brother; Lyra certainly never told him, but he seemed to have it.
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I can go now, Master. It doesn't hurt anymore. No pain weighing me down.
"That's good. If you're free, so am I. I can be whole again."
But you didn't have to stay, Master.
"Yes I did. You were my partner. I let you down, even though you never once did the same for me. What trainer am I if I can't protect my Pokémon, like they protected me?"
…Thank you, Master. With you remembering me, I did not become a formless ghost. I stayed a rat… maybe not the rat I was…
"Exactly the rat you were. The best rat. Top percentile."
Please don't read too heavily into this. It really was intended to be stealth crack XDXD
One night, I was up late YIM chatting with White Mage Koorii about the fan theory that in Red/Blue/Yellow, you kill Blue's Raticate, and I was telling her about my alternate theory about how Team Rocket killed Blue's Raticate and all the emotional impact this had on Blue, specifically the realization that Team Rocket were the kind of cruel thugs who wouldn't let a Pokémon battle end when their Pokémon fainted, but instead just might select switchblade and launch a fatally supereffective attack against any small Pokémon that didn't have its guard up. Koorii said something along the lines of "that makes sense. After all, they killed and angry mother Marowak, so they probably wouldn't stop at killing a kid's Raticate, even though, being Gary Motherf*cking Oak's Raticate, I'll bet it was in the TOP F*CKING PERCENTILE!"
Then I came up with the theory that Joey, basically the first trainer you ever fight ever aside from your rival in G/S/C/HG/SS, is actually a torn piece of Blue's spirit, rather like Sabrina's creepy little "Inner Child" doll-self from the anime, and his Rattata (which, according to hackers, really IS in the top percentile, with maxed-out stats) is the ghost of Blue's Raticate, not quite strong enough to regain its older form.
Koorii: "and now you have to write that fic."
Me: "yes. Yes I do."
So I did.
Has Blue been in the past two gens of new games? No. So clearly, I don't own Pokémon, much as I wish I did.