Hiro: Random ass idea I had one day
Hiro: Random ass idea I had one day. Thought it would be fun to write…sort of.
Renji: You KNOW it won't turn out right.
Hiro: yeah…I know. Oh by the way, I'm not very good at writing so…if you want to steal this fanfiction idea, go right ahead. I might re-do this fanfiction someday, I haven't written for awhile so… just an explanatory thing.
WARNING- May contain explicit scenes of pie. By reading this fanfiction you agree that you are of 18 years of age, or the legal age to view whipped cream in your country.
Without Warning
Prologue
"It's not all that bad…"
"NARUTOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The voice of the pink haired Kunoichi echoed loudly off the buildings in the abandoned street of Konoha.
Naruto bounded lightly from house to house, his bare feet padding softly against the dirt lining the ground. Making sure Sakura was left far behind him; he shifted the lollypop in his mouth and leapt swiftly upwards onto the roof of a nearby building.
Naruto then flashed his signature grin "Sakura! Can't catch me!" he laughed happily, shifting from foot to foot impatiently.
Silence met his challenge.
Frowning, Naruto peered quietly over the side of the roof "Sakura-Chan?" he muttered, annoyed slightly at the thought of not being pursued.
"NARUTO!"
Naruto leapt swiftly out of the way, making room for the fuming Kunoichi upon the rooftop where they stood, poised and ready to attack.
Sakura clenched her hands into tight fists "Naruto…" she growled menacingly, advancing forwards slightly.
A small gust of wind caressed Naruto's cheek as he smiled impishly "What Sakura-Chan?" he feigned innocence, backing away slowly.
Sakura quickly snatched the front of Naruto's shirt before he could escape "Don't play the stupid act Naruto!" she shouted, waving the helpless boy around by his shirt "You know EXACTLY what I'm here about!"
The boy's expression remained blank "eh…" he groaned thoughtfully, raising a hand to scratch at his scalp "No…No, I don't think I do…"
The Kunoichi tightened her grip on his shirt "Are you being INTENTIONALLY stupid!?" she growled in exasperation.
Naruto wriggled feebly "No…please enlighten me." He grinned cockily.
Snorting in annoyance, Sakura shook the blonde haired ninja once more "Naruto…" she growled softly, gesturing to her sopping wet clothes "why was there a water bucket hanging over my DOOR?!" she growled, twisting the collar of his shirt angrily.
Naruto's eyes widened "huh? Why SAKURA-Chan! Why would I EVER put a bucket of water over your door, so that when you opened it, the bucket would fall on you? How could you think that?" he gasped sharply in mock pain, clutching at his chest as if the sheer thought gave him heart pains.
Her left eye twitched briefly "Naruto…" her voice was laced with a hidden malice "I never said anything about opening the door, and having the bucket fall on me" she chuckled darkly.
"I put two and two together."
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
"No!"
"YES!"
"No way, that takes intelligence Naruto…"
"I have intelligamnts!"
"Baka, you can't even say the word right!"
And miraculously that was what it was reduced to. In one quick motion the rabid fight between the angry Kunoichi and the oblivious dunce was turned into an insult fight between two playful friends.
Yes, it was another day in the magical village of Konoha.
"No! lady Tsunade! We MUST!"
Lady Tsunade groaned quietly, resisting the urge to smash her head into her desk.
"No." she growled in frustration "I have said it many times and I will only repeat it one last time, I will No-"
"LADY TSUNADE!"
Another one of her councilor's voices cut her off.
"Lady Tsunade-Sama! I have a request from the land of waves!" a bald headed councilman exclaimed, seemingly over ecstatic over the idea.
Shifting slightly in her seat, lady Tsunade snatched the papers the man was holding.
"It seems like a good offer-"The councilman started.
Tsunade rolled her eyes and tossed the papers behind her, allowing them to scatter aimlessly across the surface of the floor.
"Nope." She yawned and leaned back in the large chair she was seated in "they are demanding too much of us. We couldn't possibly give up well trained shinobi just so they can go play war with the sand, baka."
The man seemed heartbroken.
"Lady Tsunade!"
"Lady Tsunade!"
"Lady Tsunade Sama!"
"LAAADDDDYYYYY-TSSUUUUUNNNNAAAAAADDDEEEEE"
The Hokage's name had become increasingly popular as the day progressed. Her own council would attack her from every side for hours and hours on end, just waiting for her to drop her guard and sign something that would kill the entire village.
Sometimes she wondered if they would enjoy that.
Tsunade groaned and rubbed her eyes in frustration "No…" she mumbled in annoyance, she hadn't really actually heard anyone ask her anything, but she threw it in anyways.
"Tsunade-Sama, we need more carrots for the farmers!"
"They're farmers, they should grow their own carrots" she moaned.
"Lady Tsunade, we need new light bulbs for the main office!"
The Hokage rolled her eyes at that "I never use the main office" she grumbled.
"Hokage-Sama, we need more money for the Konoha pro wrestling competitions!"
Tsunade didn't even answer to that.
The demands just kept on coming. The blonde rubbed her forehead in exhaustion, being Hokage was a thousand times worse than she had thought it would be.
It was then that she felt a small hand touch her shoulder "H-H-Hokage-Sama?" a small voice attempted to make itself heard above the din of the councilors arguing.
The blonde woman swung her head around to see a small boy bowing his head respectfully. In his hands were a few papers.
Well this was new.
"Yes dear?" Tsunade asked softly gesturing the boy towards her. Now, Tsunade wasn't always the one to be nice to children, especially children holding paperwork. But she decided to make an exception for the boy standing in front of her.
Maybe it was because of the fear that resonated in his dark eyes.
The advisers and councilors continued to argue as the boy stepped forward "Here, Hokage-Sama" he muttered, thrusting the papers towards her.
Tsunade felt herself grimace at how professional the papers the boy was giving her looked.
"Thank you young man" she crooned, patting him softly on the shoulder. He instantly jerked harshly away from her touch.
It was almost to be expected.
Tsunade raised an eyebrow before gesturing towards the door "you may go" she said.
She watched as the strange boy darted madly out of the room.
Sighing, she shuffled dejectedly through the papers "let's see…" she groaned in frustration.
Dear Hokage of the village hidden in the leaves,
We have received word that Konoha has proposed a treaty with our village. Whether this information is correct or not, is of no concern of ours.
We have already sent our council over to discuss the importance of this treaty. We have also sent our kage with them. He will oversee all the treaty demands, and bear witness to the signing of the treaty itself. Please note we are putting our Shinobi's lives in your village's hands. If you should fail to protect them, it will severely damage the trust between our two villages.
We trust you will keep your end of the bargain.
With our dearest regards,
-Head Councilman of Suna
-Alfred.
It appeared Tsunade had dropped her guard, and this time there was no going back.
She hoped they were enjoying this.
"Who gave me the papers on the Suna Konoha treaty?" she growled, barely able to contain her anger.
The fighting stopped.
"Oh! I did!" a small wispy looking man raised his hand eagerly.
Tsunade's eyes traveled across the length of the man's body from his squeaky leather sandals, all the way up to his halfway bald head and glasses, taking in every detail of the mousy looking man.
"And…did I sign them?" she asked halfheartedly, already knowing the answer that was sure to come. "YES! Yes you did!" the man grinned happily, as if he had won the lottery.
Tsunade clutched her head desperately. She had allowed herself to daydream, and what had become of it?
The kazekage of Suna was coming to Konoha.
Wonderful.
Hiro: it got kind of repetitive after a while didn't it? –sighs-
Renji: …yeah.
Hiro: anyways…this chapter has nothing to do with anything.
Preview for chapter one
It was time.
Finally the time had come. The time that he had been waiting so patiently for, so excruciatingly long it had taken for the time to come, but it had come at last.
Toad sage was going to teach Naruto a new Juutsu.
Hiro: There you go!
Gaara: ...
Hiro: What?
Gaara: You paired me with Sakura again, didn't you.
Hiro: heh heh, that wasn't a question.