[DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters but I love them much more than the people who, actually, made them. This story has been turning in my mind for years. I never shared David Shore's insane decision of breaking Huddy fan's heart. I watched all the episodes of House MD many times but just until "Bombshells". For me that is the last episode of my favorite series. So I decided to rewrite season 7 finale in Huddy style. I had my inspiration listening the song My Immortal by Evanescence so...here we are...]
[NOTE: I'm Italian. My English is not so good but I'll try to do my best. Unfortunately I realized that reading in English is much easier than writing in English...]
This is my version of what happened after those House's words in Bombshells... "don't, don't...please...don't" and Cuddy's "Goodbye House"
She was alone, in her bedroom, in the dark.
As usual her day had been very busy and she was exhausted, but she kept turning over in her bed tormented by restless dreams .
And then she saw him ... on the edge of that balcony looking down ... the empty look of someone who took too much Vicodin, a desperate look, the look of someone who has nothing to lose anymore, nothing to live for.
"Don't, don't... please...don't" she cried out
He looked up just a moment as seeing her, as feeling her, but again he looked down and in a sort of slow motion he let him falling down...
" Don't! ..."
She suddenly woke up in a cold sweat, and slowly her dark bedroom resumed its form. She could recognize the shadow of her wardrobe, of her window, the ceiling... all was noiseless and in the darkness. She was in her bed and that was just another nightmare. Now restless dreams and nightmares kept her company every night since that night...
She acted on impulse that night... she didn't let him reply or explain. She had always given him another possibilty. 832 possibilities he said once...but this time she had said no, no to another possibilitiy, no to another excuse, no to another lie. She was tired, scared, stressed out by what she had passed, and she had felt alone ... so alone ... when it was supposed to have a shoulder to cry on, his hand holding her hand .
It had been two weeks since that night but that scene was still back in hers mind like a movie at any time of the day, a hundred of times, especially when she was alone.
Play...rewind...play...rewind...again, again and again...
"Don't, don't...please..don't." these were his last words and "goodbye House" hers.
Then nothing.
She had thought that she would have seen him the next day at work, or the day after ...instead she has not heard from him since that night...two weeks ago.
The day after that night House had communicated to the Office of Human Resources a period of absence. Nothing else. No news, no sign.
He seemed to have disappeared into thin air, and Cuddy's mind was now tormented by dark thoughts .
In her moments of rationality she repeated to herself that someone with suicidal thoughts doesn't inform the H&R Office of his absence... but that thought tormented her anyway.
She felt the weight of her remorse for the hard and unexpected reaction of that night ... but she never would have imagined that outcome. She was expecting reprisal, revenge, bad jokes, insults ... she was expecting him meeting hoohers, him leading them to his office just to make her angry, she was even expecting him to marry a hooker in front of her in a cruel game of power, but ... not his disappearance...without a trace, without a word, without a message... of course ...maybe not to her but at least to Wilson.
This could mean only one thing ... that something very bad had happened. His addiction, his tendency to depression and isolation, his difficulty to face the problems and the fact that in the past he had been close to death ... all this made her thinking of a single thing... but she didn't even dare to pronounce that word that was turning and turning in her mind ... suicide ...
She tried to remove that thought. She ran a hand over her face closing her eyes and then opening them again how to wake up again, but her heart was still pounding in her chest as near to exploding. She couldn't erase that horrible image from her mind... House falling down in the dark...
She got up and the contact of her bare feet with the floor sent a shiver down her spine. The fresh air of that early May night came through the open window. She was wearing just a white satin camisole and culottes .
She slowly walked in the dark room without turning the light on and went down the hallway to Rachel's bedroom.
Rachel was peacefully asleep in her bed with a little smile on her pretty face, probably lost in a beautiful dream. Cuddy stopped to look at her and stroked her forehead.
Rachel was missing House too, and although he had never acknowledged of loving her and wanting to be a sort of father to her, their relationship was special. There always had been a special feeling between them. She had told her that House was not too well and that was the reason why he wasn't coming to see her anymore... she seemed not to need other answers...after all she was only a three-years-old. But she missed him and sometimes she played pretending that he was there with her.
Cuddy curled up in Rachel's bed near her baby girl. She hugged her and listened to her quiet breathing slowly falling asleep.