Pacing his bedroom was all he could manage to do at the moment. Calm and quietly. He was so fucked up. So sad and upset. So uncontrollably emotional. How the hell was he going to convince his butler that he was alright? Sebastian knew everything and plus... Ciel couldn't even convince himself.

It was... frustrating.

"Bocchan?" The butler's call from the door led the boy's thought's away from his troubles.

"Go away," Ciel spat, not wanting to speak to anyone.

He hadn't eaten all day even though it was 5:00 PM. Who cares? Well... obviously Sebastian did because Ciel could smell the aroma of scones and soup. It made his stomach ache.

"I have your supper ready for you," Sebastian called, not moving from his spot outside the door.

"I said go away!" Ciel scowled. Sebastian was so annoyingly persistant. All he wanted for right now was to be left alone...

He wanted to shrivel away... become nothing.

Ciel ignored Sebastian and crawled into his bed, getting under the covers and curling into a ball. He began to wonder that maybe if he laid here long enough he would just... dissapear. Not have to handle another pained moment where he couldn't love the one he wanted to.

Couldn't be with him... because of how unnappealing and foolish Ciel was. Surely that was why. Why he couldn't love Sebastian. Why he had to force the feelings away everytime he spoke to the demon.

It was so... painful. The thought brought tears to the boys eyes. How could this have happened to him? This was in all not the reason Ciel made a contract with Sebastian. This was not his intentions... his plans... and worst of all... why couldn't he just get over it?

Ciel has tried... several times, in fact, to get over these feelings. Each time it made the pain worse.

Was he... just... meant to be alone? Have no one to love and have no one to love him? Maybe that was best... maybe he didn't deserve it... perhaps... he didn't deserve Sebastian.

Surely Sebastian must be tired of caring for Ciel by now... right? Helping him with all his secret problems that he doesn't enjoy others knowing about... that he would prefer not even Sebastian knew about. It was... unfair, really.

Through Ciel's thought he did not bother to realize the footsteps that were being heard throughout his room. He didn't realize he was shaking until a gentle hand rested calmly on his shoulder. He didn't notice the tears until the covers were pulled away and a thumb gently brushed his cheek to clear them.

Ciel opened his eyes slowly and turned his head, staring at Sebastian. The sight made more tears well into the boys eyes. He didn't want to cry... especially not in front of his butler... but he couldn't help it.

"Bocchan..." Sebastian paused and watched as Ciel shook his head and began to turn away.

Sebastian gently, yet strongly kept a grip on Ciel's arm so he was unable to move and leaned down. His lips lightly brushed against the boys, who in return froze.

Ciel, wide eyed and shocked, was unable to think. Unable to process what Sebastian did. Why would he torture Ciel like that? Why would he pull him in like that when Ciel knew that his feelings would only be thrown away... why?

"Bocchan.. I love you," Sebastian whispered.

Ciel's eyes widened more as he stared at his butler.

Was he joking? Perhaps... playing a cruel prank on Ciel? Getting back at him for the time Ciel poured hot tea on his hands? (if you could even consider such disgusting liquid tea, that is)

Ciel watched as Sebastian slid into bed beside him and wrapped his arms around him, pulling the boy closer.

Ciel couldn't control his tears. They streamed down his cheeks in a wild mess, attacking every untouched spot they could reach. Ciel didn't care, though. His face was pressed up against Sebastian as he cried on him, hoping that he wasn't dreaming.

Everything inside him ached and he was unsure why. He was in pain... yet he felt warm. Sebastian was warm.

Slowly.. oh so slowly... Ciel calmed down and his crying quieted. one hand clutched Sebastian tail coat and the other had an arm slung around the demon's neck for some sort of invisible support. It wasn't needed, but he did it anyways.

"I..." Ciel whispered, a soft sobbing sound coming out of his mouth. He quickly closed his mouth once more, afraid of what other tearful sounds might errupt from it. It was one thing to have Sebastian know he was crying.. it was another for him to hear it.

Ciel to a shaky breath and closed his eyes. He was unsure of how long he laid on Sebastian, calming down to a drifty state eventually.

The boy's eyes grew heavy and his breathing slowed. He knew he would fall asleep soon, so he went for it.

"I love you too," Ciel whispered.

Ciel felt the demons lips on his forehead and he smiled some as he finally fell asleep, his dreams being only of his demon.