I, unfortunately, don't own Burn Notice.
I got this idea from the quote in "Good Intentions". It's just a short one shot.
"Like new parents, spies take preventative measures to ensure a safe environment. Only instead of baby-proofing cabinets and electrical sockets, they use more extreme methods."
Fi sighed loudly and dropped the baby gate she had been trying to install on the staircase of Michael's loft.
"Why is this so hard?"
Michael looked up from where he was slaving away under the cabinets in the kitchen, trying to keep them from being opened by a small child.
"I don't know, Fi. But we have to figure it out." He shook his head at the, God, he didn't even know what they were. All he knew was that they were supposed to keep the cabinets closed. There was a pile of similar equipment on the floor in the middle of the loft. He and Fi had bought baby gates, window guards, outlet covers and plugs, banister shields, stove knob covers, a lock for the fridge, a toilet lock, tap guards for the bathroom, cabinet latches, corner and table edge cushions, and other things that he didn't even remember the names of.
And, as if their shopping trip wasn't expensive enough, Michael had to buy a large and expensive safe. Since guns, C4, and detonators aren't exactly "baby friendly" Fi had insisted on keeping them in a safe, completely out of reach of anyone under five feet. This unfortunately meant that many of the secret weapons hiding around the loft had to be moved.
Michael had never fully understood how much work it was to make a place safe for children. Until now, that is. Fi sighed again, louder than the last time.
"This should not be this hard. I'm great at tactical support. I can make a beautiful homemade bomb. I can take apart, clean, and put back together any gun you give to me. I can crack a safe. I can even kick your ass. But, for some reason, I can't seem to baby proof this damn loft!" She dropped to the floor, crossed her arms, and pouted.
Michael started to smile, but saw the glare she pointed his way, and managed to keep a straight face. He walked over and sat next to her. She moved towards him and leaned her head on his shoulder. He smiled a little now that she could no longer see his face.
"It is harder than I expected. Tactical support seems easy in comparison. How the hell do your average parents figure it out?" He shook his head.
"I just don't understand how we can make any location tactically sound, but we can't make this stupid loft safe for a child." She sounded very frustrated.
"Well, we still have a while before it needs to be finished." Michael pointed out.
"Oh, no, Michael. If you start that 'we still have time' bit, we'll keep putting it off, and then the baby will be here, and the loft won't be ready. You call yourself a spy?"
"Not anymore."
"Well, you were a spy, so you should know that preparation is everything."
He sighed. "I suppose your right."
"I'm always right."
He shook his head, but didn't argue. "I have an idea."
"For what? Baby proofing the loft?" she questioned.
"Yeah. I'll say I have a job or a meeting or something. Then you play the pregnancy card, and we make Sam and Mom do it. Ma'll be happy to help, plus she's done it before. And Sam… well as long as there's beer in the fridge, he'll be fine. What do you say?"
She smiled. "I say that's a great idea."
He smirked. "I always have great ideas."