A/N: It absolutely destroyed me to write this. I had been toying with the idea for ages, too afraid to put it in words. I write this authors note with tears streaming down my face, and my mom standing behind me, petting my hair so I will calm down.

Besides all that, This story takes place modern-day. Ciel and Sebastian are in NYC; In America. Ciel is… reminiscing. R&R, please. I hope you guys don't cry as much as I did…but I do hope it affects you in some way. I love you all so much!

The song is When You Were Young by the Killers (it also happens to be the absolute PERFECT SebaCiel song; you should give it a listen!^_^)

I don't own the song. I also do not own Kuroshitsuji (because if I did, there would be a LOT of changes when it comes down to coupling. *cough cough* Grelliam *cough cough* Sebaciel.) Ahem.

Enjoy! Or, at least attempt to 3

~Hannah

Ciel sat, staring out the window of his high-rise apartment in New York City. He could hear the conversations of people fifty stories below; as well as the song playing from a vendor across the avenue. He knew the song well; and a leftover human emotion hit him in the chest.

And sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you used to live

When you were young

Ciel's face crumpled as he thought of his manor: The Phantomhive manor; long, regal corridors. He thought of the portrait hanging above the staircase. The young demon could see it in his mind's eye as clearly as if it were yesterday. He could picture the walls draped in pink as his beloved Elizabeth swept through the mansion, leaving everything behind her in a whirlwind of the ghastly color. Ciel gave a small smile into the hot night air; reminiscing.

Ciel had checked in to Elizab- Lizzie about forty years after his parting. She had died peacefully, apparently. She had had a loving husband and two beautiful children. Ciel was happy that she got what she deserved. He knew he wouldn't have been able to love her like that.

As he thought of her antics, four more people appeared in his mind. Bard, Finny, Mey-Rin, and Tanaka. A lonely tear slipped down Ciel's cheek as he remembered the young Finnian's laugh. It used to ring through the courtyard as he would befriend a lovely new pet. Ciel also remembered the antics of his old maid. Mey-Rin had always been a bit of a mess, but the distractions were greatly appreciated, and she did have a great sense of humor. The boy at the window then thought of Bardroy. A giggle bubbled up from his chest at the sight in his mind of the man, ash covering him as he ruined yet another dinner. The constant smell of the cigarettes had grown on Ciel, it having become comforting. Tanaka; Well he had known Tanaka since he was a baby. He didn't remember a time without him. Though he wasn't himself most of the time, he used to come to Ciel at times of trouble, to give a piece of advice. He was truly the closest thing to his parents that he had had left.

They said the Devil's water- it aint so sweet

Ciel laughed bitterly at this line. It definitely wasn't sweet. Immortality was not all he expected. Ciel had watched the world crumble before him. New inventions, new places, new people. There was only one constant in his life; the only reminder of before.

Sebastian.

His eyes strained every time he looked at his demon butler; cursed to serve him forever. Though, Ciel had given him a lot of slack, not wanting this eternity to be a miserable one. Ciel's eyes dropped again, remembering those blissful days at the manor. He missed it. What was left of his heart grasped on to his remaining humanity; his memories one by one. His heart yearned for the old days; when an Indian prince appeared on his doorstep; a flamboyant, redheaded reaper come to annoy the living hell out of him. He missed it all.

But he still had Sebastian. They had grown to be lovers over the ages; and they had both fallen into a routine. They were as close to being in love as their demonic nature would allow. But Ciel couldn't look at him without having the sharp sting of his past pierce him. He missed it, more than anything.

He swore he could hear the sunny laugh of a young, blonde groundskeeper, as his eyes slid closed; memories becoming dreams, and dried tears stained his face.