So I have this mad case of writers block. I have written three different stories and all are incomplete. I get halfway and realize that everything is just coming out all wrong. So I guess I'll try yet again to write it out.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything; everything recognizable belongs to its rightful owner.
When I realized it, I guess it was just like any other day.
We had been traveling for hours and the darkspawn blood on my armor was still fresh. The sun was beating down on us and I could feel the sunburn beginning on my skin where the armor didn't cover. I was thirsty, hungry, and tired. When we had finally walked as long as the daylight would permit us, we stopped to make camp.
The supper was terrible, as usual. I had first watch with her, so I knew that there would be some fun conversations going on later. We always talked about interesting things when we had some down time and we were together. I guess it was nice to have a few moments to have a relaxing chat, even in the midst of all the stress that was going on around us.
We sat down close to each other, the stars and moon shining down on us and the mabari hound, Apollo, asleep at our feet.
The conversation had started out normal enough. We were chatting about something relating to music and songs when I suddenly turned to her and just blurted out my first thought.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have gorgeous eyes?"
My ears and cheeks instantly reddened at my forwardness and she looked stunned for a moment before laughing and smiling.
"Thank you. That's so sweet of you to say so. You have pretty eyes too."
Her words simply made my ears burn and I turned away from her. My heart began racing and I bit my lip. I recognized this feeling. I feared this feeling. I was downright petrified of it and I had spent a long time pushing it away for it to come back so suddenly. I wouldn't let it happen. I would simply fight it. But I would not lose this kind, caring person as a friend either.
"I don't agree with you, but I have heard some say that before. Thank you."
The feeling didn't even out until after watch was done that night. And even then it was hard to swallow the thick, heartfelt feeling that I got when I was around her.
As time went on, it became harder and harder to make the feeling disappear until I flat out gave up. When I finally gave into my emotions I began to think that maybe this wouldn't be such a bad thing. We had discussed many things on our watches together and during our long treks through Fereldan, one of them being gender preferences. She had agreed with me that female company was much more appealing than the company of a man. Perhaps she would give me a chance?
Around the time when I was finally considering telling her my feelings, Marjolaine came back into the picture. Seeing her and killing her swept up so many emotions within me that I just couldn't handle and I had to take some time to myself in order to straighten all of them out.
She stood by me throughout all of it, always asking if I needed anything from the next town and trying to cheer me up by telling me something funny that had been said or done. When I finally recognized that I could indeed trust her I decided to tell her. The words I wanted to say just wouldn't come out though. All I could think about was Marjolaine.
It was awhile before I tried to say anything else to her and while we were walking around that day, after coming back from a trip to Ostagar to gather the king's items as well as Maric's sword, I decided that I needed to tell her. So that night when we set camp I was determined to tell her after supper how I felt. Not just some of it, but all of it. Seeing Ostagar reminded me that everything could end so fast and without warning. I needed to tell her that night.
What I saw broke my heart.
She was standing with Zevran, smiling and giggling at him. I bit my bottom lip to try to hold back the tears. Of course she would like him. After all, he was handsome beyond reason, a smooth talker, and to top it all off he was an elf just like her. When I saw her blush and guide him into her tent I retired to my own, my heart broken and tears burning my eyes.
A few days after I had witnessed the incident with Zevran she approached me at camp.
"Leliana, is something wrong? You seem… out of sorts lately. I just wanted to know if there was anything that I could do to help."
I swallowed back my tears and looked her straight in the eyes.
Those gorgeous, dark brown sparkling eyes of hers that showed nothing more than innocence and love but hid so much more. There was a reason she was such a smooth talker with ladies and so good at talking people into doing just what she wants. It was those eyes.
The same eyes that made my heart pound and my knees weak.
"Everything is fine. Just not sleeping very well I suppose."
For a moment I thought she would call me out on it. I knew she could tell I was lying. She knitted her eyebrows together in the center and studied me for a moment. Then she smiled softly and winked.
"I could always help you with that problem. You know where to find me."
I laughed softly and even though my eyes began to water as she walked away I couldn't stop my heart from pounding against my chest.
Whatever she needed me for, I'd be with her. And if this was all she saw me as now then I'd take it. I would be here until she ordered me away. Because I just couldn't help what happened and I couldn't deny it any longer.
I fell for her.
Little short, little bit rough. Sorry about grammatical errors, texting has completely annihilated my grammar.
Read and review please! Any ideas for any stories you'd like to hear from me I'd be glad to hear them. This writers block is just killing me.