Discworld RPG : Part Two

by Mrs Wizzard

yes, we're back, with new characters and a new story, follow the story of an undead watch officer, two mysterious werewolves, two equally mysterious cats, an ambitious young dwarf, a fiendish assassin, a kindly wizard, and his newest young apprentice

1. Chapter 1

Yes, we're back, and we've got new characters and a new story, thanks again to the good boardies at the TerryPratchettBooks Message Boards for letting me post our story, some of the characters are the same, but most of us decided to mix things up a little bit, if you're interested in doing this, come by the message boards, we're well into part three, but we're always looking for new players, the characters are listed below, followed by the people who play them, so, sit back, relax, and enjoy our latest eighty or so pages of insanity

Broc ~ SGT. Knocker

Jeannie ~ Jeannie

Snuffles ~ Maz aka Helicopterpassoverhead

Twilight ~ Mrs Wizzard

Orcakeline ~ The Little A-M Dwarf

Mark ~ Fiendish Mark

Patrick ~ Thumpy

Jake ~ Jake

Mina ~ Mina

Broc chased after a thief. Again. The thief ducked into a crowed and started to go for the 'Drum so as a last ditch effort Broc ripped off his arm and threw it. but since he threw it with his left hand instead of right he missed the thief and hit someone else.

"CRAP! Some one stop him. STOP HIM!"

There was a small cafe in a narrow street in the heart of the city of Ankh Morpork. Sergeant Jeannie of the Watch sat on her usual table, eating her breakfast whilst reading this mornings copy of the Times.

It had been a few months since she had first arrived in the city, and as she sat watching the early morning activity she again marvelled at just how quickly the city had recoverd from the fire that had devastated it a short time ago. Today was supposed to be her day off but any watchman knows that is never really true, a small part of any copper is always on duty. For now however she enjoyed the relative peace and quiet as she sipped her coffee and wondered what the day ahead would bring...

A pitch-black large tomcat, with the rare grey-ish spot quietey sneaked into the room. It had managed to survive in Ankh-Morpork, which made it what not-Morporkians would call a huge evil b****** of a monster but wo what a true Morporkian would refer to as a kitty . Life was hard here, and due to a surprising lack of scars in important parts of the body (head, back, belly) it could still appear 'cute'. For a given value of 'cute'.
Now was the time for some 'cute' body-language. Threatening body-language would not result in food or milk with this specimen, it didn't feel right. Animals can recognise fellow brethren of the animal kingdom, cause of birth instincts and suchlike.
Jeannie let out a dampened shriek when a ice-cold nose was pressed against her foot.
Ok, now. thought the cat. Cute.
Puppy-dog eyes appeared as if by magic on the cats face. Well, kitty-cat eyes, to be precise.

Bloody hell! That's a very cold nose. I can feel it through my boot!

Jeannie looked down at the cat, felines had never botherd her much...except for one particularly large and un-nerving tomcat she had encounterd in Lancre during her travels before arriving in Ankh Morpork. When the cat had turned into a very naked and very masculine man she had decided she had seen enough...literally

She watched this one intently for a while, showing no sign of doing anything even remotley un-catlike it retained all four legs and the pleading look in its eyes. Sighing, she dropped the sausage from her breakfast infront of the cat and watched as it gobbled it up

Twilight roamed the city, absently playing with a loose thread on her dress. She continued with this until a familiar scent filled her nose. A sound rose from her throat that could almost be classified as a 'purr' When she realized this she stopped herself.

No, you can't steal a fish, humans don't do that, remember?

She shook herself out of it and continued walking along.

Twilight was a..special kind of creaure. She was a werecat..sort of. Actually, she was a reverse werecat..again, sort of. She was born a calico cat. But, due to a magical accident she'd rather not get into, she can now switch from cat to human at her own will.

She seemed a bit nervous right now. A few months ago the city had somehow caught fire and now she was paranoid and hated being startled. This is proven as the sound of a dog bark involuntarily transformed her into a small cat dashing across the road in terror. By the way, she's afraid of dogs.

Rounding a corner, she used her front paws as a sort of break and listened. She couldn't hear anything chasing her. Feeling relieved she looked up and found she had convienently stopped in front of the fish stall.

Well, I guess I can steal it now, she thought happily. When the merchant had his back turned she, in one leap, grabbed a salmon and landed back onto the ground. It was at that moment the merchant noticed her.

"Hey, you!" he cried. With the salmon still in her mouth, Twilight turned and ran as fast as she could, the merchant still in pursuit. The nearest hiding spot was a cafe. Running inside, she dashed to the back corner and began to nibble the fish.

Sitting in the small cafe watching the cat demolish the sausage Jeannie rememberd she needed to stop off at the post office. She had a letter that needed posting to Sto Lat, a good friend of hers had moved back there after the fire and they kept in touch with regular letters.

It seemed much longer than a few months ago. Alot of things had changed since then. Jeannie had learnt many things from Commander Vimes, she had been in melees and bar brawls (to break them up, not to join in) where the things Vimes had taught her had been extremely useful. She made plenty of arrests and a few friends.
Jeannie had learnt many things about the city and had developed a strange fondness for the place.

Jeannie was about to get up and leave when something caught her eye as it dashed into the cafe. She watched the small cat scurry into a corner at the back and shrugged.

Cats in a city were not uncommon, there was enough vermin for them to live off. Something about this cat struck her though. As a werewolf her senses were finely tuned and this one had a strange feel and scent about it. So instead of leaving, for now Jeannie sat and watched the two cats who had interrupted her breakfast

The tomcat retreated a bit from the other feline, she didn't look right. Just to be sure, he gobbled up the remaining sausages and, remembering that, after all, the other cat was just a cat, let out a warning 'meow', laden with just enough spit to appear dangerous, but not enough to provoke.
Just a cat. he repeated to himself. What else could it be? Just a cat, just a cat...

Broc had finally gotton a hold of the thief. (though only after throwing every availble body part availble.) and was limping (one leg wasnt sewed on right.) toward his favorite cafe to follow up on a lead in a murder case. And this wasnt even the usual case of Ankh-Morpork suicide. The young man by the name of Richard Dublin had died of natural causes, natural causes possibly including a sword throught the chest. Cherry hadnt found anything, and Angua hadnt smelled anything suspicious. even more perplexing to Broc was the day that Richard died was the day Broc had found out that Richard was a link to Broc finding out about why a assissan was hired to kill his former employer.

Things were not going right for Broc today.

In the same cafe sergeant Jeannie was staring at the cats,in the other side of the small building,a little Ankh-Morpork dwarf,called dwarf was a female,but looked alot like a instaid of being as fat as a usual dwarf she looked quit slim.
She was looking around the cafe,when she saw the scene with the cats and thought:

That cat looks quit familiar to me...mhmmm...I think I saw it on an alley...But where?...

After Orcakeline looked at the table that Sergeant Jeannie was sitting,she remembered that somebody still owed her one dollar,even though that person was a good old friend,she actually had a tiny little image of her cutting her friends legs...but the image disappeared quickly,because after all,they were good old friends and Orcakeline wasn't sadistic.

The cat retreated at the sight of the dwarf, after all this was the last person to have thought of him (the cat) as a 'pet'.
Well, he was in a room with two weird half-human wossnames and ... he shuddered ... an owner .
Panicking, he retreated, ready to climb up the curtains in a matter of seconds and retreat to the reassuring upside-downess of the ceiling.

When the tomcat had hissed at her Twilight had felt a bit intimidated, but seeing it trying to climb onto the ceiling seemed a bit pathetic to her. She sniggered at it in the way only a cat could.

The zombie and the dwarf that were now in the room didn't concern Twilight. She never had to deal with someone taking her home. The nametag on a purple ribbon around her neck wasn't what kept them away. She'd dealt with literal cat burgalars. If someone really suspicious tried to take her she'd turn from a cute sweet kitty to a clawing alleycat. Regular people were okay sometimes. She could always sneak away after a free meal.

Seeing the tomcat act like a fraidy-kitten amused Twilight to no end. Standing up from the fish, she strode over and rubbed up against the sitting human girl's legs, if only to annoy the tomcat.

what the...?

Most cats tended to be upset by her, being a super-naturally strong predator with jaws that can break bone can tend do that to other creatures. This one however either didn't notice or wasn't bothered

Watching the tomcat apparently trying to defy gravity she absent mindedly reached down and scratched between the cats ears.

I really must get to the post office soon, I might catch the first mail run to Sto Lat

Jeannie stood up to leave the cafe

Well, that was it. How dare she! The tomcat leaped down from the ceiling, but because cats mysteriously lose any sense of orientation and balance in certain moments (like when they are filmed) he landed on Jeannies head, slipped off, fell on the table, darted off into a corner, then into the opposite corner, but bumped into the target he wanted to hit in the first place, only that this time it was an accident.
Thats animal instincts for you.

Almost as soon as Jeannie had stood up she had the sensation that someone was trying to push a dozen pins into her scalp.

"Ouch! What the..."

The cat fell from her head onto the table and proceeded to charge around the room bumping into various heard a faint sound from the smaller cat down by her feet, Jeannie was sure it was sniggering.

Slightly dazed Jeannie just stared until the tomcat eventually came to its target

A young watchman, whose face was mostly obscured by his helmet, came running up to Jeannie and bounced off a wall , falling to the floor with a "huff" the helmet, which was obviously at least four sizes to large, span gently. A moment later though the young man stood up and lifted his helmet for a brief instant to check that he was standing before Jeannie and revealed a quite startling pair of different coloured eyes, the left was blue and the right was brown. The eye disappeared though, as did most everything else and he began to speak, his voice was slightly muffled but clear.

"Sergeant you asked to be told when there was any activity at the new Von Uberwald house. A coach has just arrived, couldn't see who it was, the windows were blacked out and the gates closed on us."

Saluting he went to leave the place, smacked into a beam and spun till he faced the entrance, then rushed out at full tilt.

The Von Uberwald house had been rebuilt to the exact same specifications, including the dry rot and chipped bricks. You had to be rich to do a bad job of a house and it would seem that the Von Uberwalds were very rich. The house was an impressive and imposing estate, surrounded by gardens. As the small group disembarked from the coach, footman came and took luggage, the small group moved into the house, trialling behind them were two large black wolves that appeared totally relaxed, although one got the feeling that should they see something they did not approve it, it would not be there for very long.

He walked with confidence. A confidence that nobody would dare approach him. A confidence that can only be learned from an expensive education.
The alley was dark. Refuse lined the walls as he came to a stop. He looked up, narrowed his eyes and leapt to a ledge with cat-like grace. A window appeared before him and after several seconds, the tip of his cloak disappeared over the top and into the darkness.

"I really must remember to take my keys next time" said Mark the Fiendish Assassin. He had a poor memory. It was evident by all the little slips of paper stuck to walls and iconographs of various well-to-do people of Ankh-Morpork. None of these people were living of course, he was pretty good at what he did.

"Time for breakfast methinks" and after locking some of his items away, he left via the front door that locked on his way out.

His keys were still on the table by the bed.

Jeannie got as far as "Thankyou consta..." before the young officer turned and made what would have been a hasty exit if he had manged to find the door on the first go.

She sat deep in thought for a few moments drumming her fingers on the table. Seeming to reach a decision she got up, paid her bill and left the cafe.

The streets were already becoming busier and the familiar sounds and smells of the daytime bustle were all around her. Waving to a few familiar faces Jeannie walked through the streets

Right before Broc went into the cafe a watchman came running out of the cafe and ran into Broc, who promptly became a pile of body parts.

"GODS D*MNIT, I HATE BEING A ZOMBIE!"

And because of his blashphmy, a lighting bolt shot out of the sky, aimed at Broc. But instead hit a passing citizen.

"HA! EVEN YOU GUYS CAN'T KILL ME!"

Broc felt slightly mollified.

But then it dawned on him he was still a pile of body parts. so he started shouting for help.

The tomcat had left the cat and was aimlessly, but seemingly purposefully, walking through the streets, as cats often do.
He suddendly bumped into a rotten smell and saw, after rounding a corner, a pile of body parts on the floor. He walked over to them and pressed his nose against the face of the ... head and let out what seemed to be an evil snigger.

Fiendish Mark the Assassin headed for his local cafe. Assassins were not regular patrons of this eating establishment, but Mark was raised in the area and Harga was a old friend.
Assassins had lots of friends.
It was enemies they generally lacked in but this could only be a good thing, right?

"Morning Mr Harga, you're looking well today" stated Mark in his pleasant tone, "I'll have the breakfast special please, with extra ketch-up."

Fiendish Mark surveyed his surroundings. It looked like it was going to be another normal day. Maybe today he would buy that thingy he was looking at in the wossname yesterday.

Twilight was dazed when the tomcat hit her and left beofore she could regain her footing, which was actually a lot harder when you had four of them to refoot. When she caught her balance she growled which seemed quite menacing for a cat.

I'll get him for that. Wait til I turn human next time I see him. I have thumbs!

Looking up where the girl was once sitting was now a man. That dumb cat must've scared her off. After a few moments of thought, Twilight seemed to reach a decision. Cat was her true form, afterall.

Walking up to the new guy, Twilight gave in to any house cat's urges and rubbed up against his legs.

Patrick woke up and climbed out of bed, careful not to hit his head on the low ceiling. A wash up and clean robe made him look almost presentable as he headed out to Second Breakfast. It had been a long night with all the work he'd been given; his new boss was certainly a task-master.

I've only been a here a few months, but if this is the way it's going to be I might have to escape the "easy university life". Mum will be upset though...

Making his way to one of the tables, he found his customary seat next to his mentor and, for lack of a better word, boss.

"Morning Professor Rincewind."

The wizard looked up from his plate long enough to grunt a greeting.

Searching the table for anything remotely edible this early in the morning, Patrick tried to make small talk.

"So, um..sir, if you don't mind my asking - what exactly am I supposed to do with that box you gave me last night? I mean it's not very useful is it? Too small to put anything in and no lock even if you did. I could barely get my hand in there to -

"No!" blurted out Rincewind. "Gods no! Never put your fingers in there. No telling where they might end up - or when!"

Gaining some composure, the wizard lowered his voice a bit, "I told you yesterday - just bury the damn thing! Get it away from the University, the city, people - especially me and just bury the thing. Then forget where you left it! Pass the rolls please."

Patrick passed the plate after grabbing one for himself. A stray thought crawled across his brain in search of a home. "Well, uh, sir...that might take some...travel. I could be gone for some time. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but..."

"Yes, yes, whatever! I suppose you'll be wanting a horsey or something as well?"

Yay! Travel! Adventure! My own horse...never actually ridden one, but still.

Patrick let a smile creep onto his face momentairly; "Well, if you think that's best then Professor. When do I leave?"

"Hmm? What? You're still here?

Orcakeline saw the strange tomcats jump onto the ceiling isn't a very common thing to do.
The little dwarf swung it's axe and prepared to leave but she still had in mind to took the bill,gave the money...but in this time she saw the tomcats eyes and she had another memory popping out f her head...

It was a foggy night,in a bar in Ankh-Morpork...She was at a table with her best friend, two of them had a gooooood bear and they were ready to leave,but Orcakelines friend took another beer and so on and so fourth ...But in the end,Implosia-Fraken had to borrow one buck from the so Orcakeline left the bar after a long and warm hug for that cold she went away,in the alley,she saw a cat that stared at her with eyes that made her remember some of her deepest memories she had ever had...

When Orcakeline was small,her father once came at home with a small kitten,that was very cute..Orcakeline played with that cat years and years until she grew older ..Than she had no more interests in the cat and didn't pay too much attention at the cat...And that is why one rainy night the cat disappeared and never came back...But so went all the happy memories of the and with the tomcat (now)... She couldn't even remember the cat's name,neither where she had put a few things that the cat always showed her,making her remember...

Miss,here's your change.. ...heard Orcakeline while she was still remembering things and regaining her thoughts ...
Oh,Yeah...Thanks... ..
And then she left,still swinging her axe backwards and forth ...

After being chased out by the cafe owner, (apparently customers don't enjoy cat hair in their food), Twilight walked around the city basically looking for something to do. Rounding a corner she noticed something. It looked like a human had collapsed in the middle of the road. Litterally, it looked like a big three dimensional human puzzle. And there was that cat! Twilight wasn't known for backing out of a catfight so she ran over and hissed menacingly at the black tomcat.

The cat jumped up in surprise in a way only cats can, twisting in the air so it now faced what was once its back.
Well, he'd been through much worse catfights. Probably.
Hiss, cough, cough, spit out furball, embarassed hiss.

It didn't take long before Jake was on the streets of Ankh-Morpork and he had to admit, it was nice to be back. The past couple of months in Uberwald had done him good though. He looked stronger, more graceful and more like a predator, but the mongrel in him was still there, if you looked hard enough. His attire was sombre, loose fitting but far more elegant than he had worn previously. The shirt was a dark blue and the trousers were black and over the top was a black travelling cloak with, what looked like silver embroidery around the collar, but anyone that knew anything about the Von Uberwalds knew that it could not be silver.

He did have a destination, he was going to see one Mr Slant and deliver a very personal document to the Zombie, but he was taking his time and stretching his legs around the city. True it hadn't been his decision to come down to Ankh-Morpork, the family seemed to see their house here as a place to send the young to recover from falling in love with the wrong person, but a part of him was certainly glad to be back. He noted idly that he was passing the old guest house he had rented a room in, it seemed like a very long time ago and yet it had only been a few months back, but so much had happened since then.

Jeannie walked through the streets of the city that she now called home. Over the past few months she had occasionally thought about returning to Uberwald but there was a part of her that never wanted to go back, at least for now. So she had asked for a transfer to the Ankh Morpork watch and life had been pretty good to her in the past few months.

As it was her day off she wore her preferred outfit of brown soft leather trousers and a fitted white shirt that flattered her slim figure. Because it was fairly late in the year and there was a chill in the air she also wore her favourite leather cape, it had a hood on it which fell behind her shoulders now covered by her long blonde hair

Jeannie took a right turn at the end of the street and continued on her way, there was alot she wanted to do today. As she walked she saw Tim out on his rounds, he was the postman who deliverd to her street. Jeannie smiled in greeting

"Morning Tim, any post for me this morning?"

"Wotcha Jeannie, yup got a letter here for ya."

"Thanks"

Jeannie took the letter and said goodbye, as she walked she opened the rather crumpled envelope and read the contents. She was so intent on the letter that she didn't look where she was going

Following his breakfast, Patrick ran to his little room - a cupboard actually and began to rummage.

Anything for a few days away from here! Maybe a few months...a year?

He had a large pack for his clothes and other useful items that he still hadn't completely emptied from his arrival. A smaller bag could be worn around the waist. Besides a bedroll that was it. A far cry from what he was used to at home, but he could make do.

A knock at the door interrupted his cheerful humming.

"Ah good day to you...er...um -

It was the Arch Chancellor himself, come to see Patrick off no doubt.

"Patrick, sir."

"Ah yes, well Peter, let me just say that we appreciate you volunteering for this sui..um...mission! We shall remember you fondly!"

Patrick caught that.

"Well, I didn't exactly volunteer now did I? But if it's all the same to you I think a trip would be good right about now. By the way, you said you'd all remember me fondly? Why? You don't think I'll be -

"Nonsense my dear boy! Utter nonsense don't listen to them! You'll be back with us in no time at all. I mean that. No time. Now, here is something else for you to take on your trip. Since you are doing the business of UU, we have provided you with some money - I know, it's only paper, but from what I hear it's going to be the thing from now on."

Reaching into his large robe, Ridcully pulled out a second envelope. "And this, is for dire emergencies only. Shouldn't have to use it for a day or two at most. Just show that to anyone that gives you some trouble and you'll soon be on your way."

Without another word the wizard turned and left apparently deciding the converstaion was eneded.

Patrick pocketed both the money and the envelope before turning to put the box in his pack.

Where was it?

Mark the Fiendish Assassin finished his breakfast, wiped the ketch-up from his mouth (possibly tomato but he couldn't remember seeing any in the city) and left the money under the plate.

A little stroll down Filigree Street and a chat with some old friends and then time for bed methinks thought Mark.

He left with a sweep of his cloak (because Assassins are walking style) and proceeded to grace Short Street with his presence as he ha planned.

Little did he know that today his bedtime would be a little longer in coming...

Jake spotted her as she walked, she was reading something while she strolled, never a good idea. Again he reminded himself of the short months that he had spent outside of the city, it seemed that he had forgotten what she looked like, she looked good out of uniform. Of course the inevitable happened, a watchman with an over-sized helmet seemed to rugby tackle Jeannie, barrelling into her over-sized helmet first. The pair went crashing to the ground. Whatever Jeannie had been reading flew from her hands and got caught by the breeze spiralling upwards. Jake noted that the watchman with the over-sized helmet had not lost it, instead it was spinning gently as he lay on top of Jeannie. The letter fluttered down to his feet and leant over and picked it up. The watchman appeared to be rather dazed and stood up with apologies before falling backwards, obviously still stunned. Jake couldn't stop himself from chuckling at the extraordinary scene.

Jeannie sat up, slightly dazed after the collision. Looking around for the letter she berated the young officer

"Gods damn it constable!What have I told you about..."

Hearing someone chuckling she looked up and saw him, watching the whole scene in obvious amusement.

Seeing Jake stood there took her by surprise, it seemed a long time since he had left the city when in reality it had only been a few months. There were a few subtle differences about him but he looked well. She gave him an embarrassed smile and stood up dusting off her clothes before walking over to him

"Hello Jake...it's good to see you again"

Jake nodded politely

"It's good to see you, seems like a long time. I must say it's good that you put on these little street shows for passing citizens."

He gestured towards the constable who was just getting up. He hoisted up his helmet, it slipped back down again, there was now a dent in it.

"I'm just going to see Mr Slant, do you fancy a walk, you can tell me what's been happening in the city. It looks good after the fire, it's as if it never happened."

Jeannie gave Jake a 'look' paired with a raised eyebrow

"Street shows huh? Well, I'm glad it amused you. It certainly didn't feel so funny to me..ouch"

She rubbed her bruised backside and looked over at the constable. He was certainly they could get him to slow down a bit he could make a very good copper one her head at the sight of him wrestling with the helmet Jeannie sighed.

"We keep telling him he can get a smaller helmet from the armory but he insists that one is lucky. I've yet to see how he came to that conclusion."

She looked around, where had her letter gone!

"Yeah ok, I'll walk with you but first I just need to find somthing"

Jake held out the folded piece of parchment.

"Is this what you were looking for?"

He looked at the constable as he held out the letter

"And I wouldn't say it wasn't lucky, the guy's still alive because of it. I wonder if he's ever thought of going into sports."

The constable ran off and Jake watched him as he disappeared down the street, there was a loud crash and Jake winced.

"Ow, that's really got to hurt the poor guy."

The constable had managed to run into a low hanging iron beam, he had kept running though, although to be fair it was in a different direction.

"I wonder if he knows where he is going?"

He thought to himself and then turned back when he felt Jeannie take the letter.

"So who's it form then? A Mystery lover?"

Jeannie took the letter, refolded it and slipped it into her back pocket. She smiled at Jakes question and coloured slightly

"Just a an old...friend"

She would finish reading it later, when there was no danger of being tackled by hyper-active watchmen. Anxious to move away from the amused faces who had watched the collision Jeannie gestured in the direction of Slants offices

"Well, then lets be on our way shall we?"

As they walked Jeannie let her curiosity get the better of her

"So what brings you back to the city? Have the rest of your family come with you?"

Broc had finnaly gotten him self back togather. by himself (you DO NOT want to know how)
Well mostly togather. some little bugger had taken off with one of his arms. with a large amount of effort Broc leaped, tackled the kid into two pedesterins standing in the street.
He started to appoligize

"sorry sir, mam, but this little bugg-"

And looked into the face of someone he thought he would never see again.

"Jake!"

Broc then seemed to realize that he was still lying on top of Jake.

"Sorry. oh you too sergent. this little kid just took my arm. Oh and sergent i need to talk to you. urgently."

he turned to Jake.

"its good to have you back my friend."

Mark was on Short Street.
It was a very long street, lined with a great many traders, workshops and other offices, some even trading honestly.
A noise drew his attention and as his gaze located the commotion he thought he saw a face from the past in the distance. A watchman ran into him, or would have done if Mark hadn't stepped out of the way in time but accidentally left his foot in the way on purpose. He wasn't that keen on The Watch. They asked questions that Mark the Fiendish Assassin was not at liberty to answer.
The constable tried to look round to work out why he had fallen, but his helmet was in the way and Mark was now moving quicker up the street looking for his ghost.

A ball of fur was rolling in random patterns across the alleyways of Ankh-Morpork, letting out hissess and noises which can not possibly be articulated on paper and leaving a trail of furballs behind.
When the ball hit a pair of feet it was clear that it had consisted of Two Cats Fighting, but which were now trying to untangle themselves from the aforementioned persons trousers. A black tomcat with a confused expression was having considerable difficulties trying to unhook one of its claws from the aforementioned piece of clothing.
The three assembled humanoids looked at the scene with interest

Now it was Jeannies turn to chuckle as no sooner had Jake got up from being knocked over by Broc but he then had a cat fight roll into his legs and the two cats had become attached to his trousers.

As Jake tried to disentangle himself from the furious felines, Jeannie asked Broc what it was he wanted to talk to her about so urgently

Broc smiled at the catfight but took a long step back. Claws could be murder on dead skin.
Turning to Jeannie he asked

"um, I would...um...I...wouldliketoleavethewatch."

The last part came in a jumble. He really didnt want to do it...but Broc had to find his killer and find out why it had happened.

Patrick made his way out into the stable yard to find his new horse. Rincewind and the others were conspicuously absent and even the stable hands were suddenly busy with other things as he approached.

Finding his horse well equipped for travel, he added his own pack to the saddle and decided to walk the beast out of the yard.

No use falling off in front of everyone. I'll wait until I'm somewhere more secluded...

Walking out the gate, he entered the city for the first time since he arrived. The last view he'd had of the place was at night just after a fire had ripped through. Oh, and a flood.

He'd almost heard the gate close behind him when a voice suddenly brought him back; it was Ponder Stibbons.

"Patrick! Patrick, thank the gods you hadn't left yet. Saves me a trip. Be so kind as to take this letter to the Watch House at Pseudopolis Yard will you? It must get to Sam Vimes. If you don't see him, just listen for his voice. I'm told it can carry for miles. Thank you."

Patrick took the envelope and was about to say good bye, but once again, the conversation was apparently cut off on him as Stibbons squeezed through the opening and disappeared into the University.

Still holding the reins of his horse in his free hand, he realized that 1) he had no idea where the Watch House was and 2) he'd have to come up with a name for the horse eventually.

Placing the letter in his pocket he set off...again.

Little 6 year old Mina had been standing at the corner of the street watching the events with interest for some minutes now.
Mina lived in one of the poor areas of Ankh-Morpork with her mother, and often wandered around during the day while her mother was working.

Charlie had just gone off with that strange man's arm! Mina walked up to the man, tugged on his other arm and said
'Urghhh! Why did your arm come off? Charlie's got it. Charlie's my friend.' having said this important fact, Mina noticed the cats with a squeal of excitement. She pulled one over to her by the tail, and picked the struggling cat up in a tight grip.
'Nice kitty! Meowwww!'

Mina patted the hissing animal firmly on the head.
'goog pussy!'

The tomcat was deperately (but uselessely) flailing in the air with all its limbs, while twisting in odd angles and shapes.
After a while it realised that this was useless and that the only means of escape was by being a 'goog kitty', so it tried to concentrate and stiffen its tail muscles so that the probability of landing head-first and tail-less on the ground was as small as possible.
The tomcat was now stiff as a rock in the hands of the horrible, little biped.

All of it had happened so fast First Twilight was hissing at the tomcat, then in a fight with him, and now she was watching as a little girl was cuddling it obviously to the tomcat's displeasure.

In a very odd series of meows the calico was on the ground laughing her tail off. She was aware of the other people around her, but the sight of the other cat was too much.

Mina looked at the suddenly stiff and still kitty with concern.
'Is pussy-cat ill?' She forced the cat down to the ground and picked it up under its arms so she could hug it. Maybe it needed a drink.

'Oh look! Your friend's laughing!' She told the cat.

She took the tomcat to the side of the pavement and forced it to drink the liquid trickling into the gutter by pushing its head in.

'Nice water! Go on kitty, drink! All better now!'

Maybe the other cat wanted a drink too. She went over and caught it in a strangle hold.
'c'mere minou! Pretty cat, you want a drink too!'

Twilight nearly keeled over with kitty laughter until the girl grabbed her as well. As she was leifted off of her feet she looked to the others with a pleading "mew?"

As her head was dunked in the gutter Twilight thought, Yeah, I probaly deserved that

Forcibly inhaling the disgusting gutter water, Twilight pulled her head out and hacked up the foul liquid. Flailing her limbs about, Twilight made a desperate attempt to catch her breath.

Enough was enough, Twilight bit the small girl's hand until she was released. Dashing into the nearest alley, Twilight changed into her human form. She hand't been a werehuman long, so it was still hard to walk on two legs, but the good thing was her clothes somehow always appeared on her when she changed. She always figured this worked the same way with how a werewolf magically grows fur when it changes.

Walking out of the alley, she appeared to be a fifteen year old girl. She was still hacking up the water.

The tomcat escaped from the vile human being the moment it let go of him and ran off into an alley, slipping occasionally.

'Waaaaah! Bad, naughty cat!' sobbed Mina. Mina pulled the other cat towards her and stroked it clumsily, forcing its hind legs down into a sitting position.

'But you're not like that horrid cat are you?' Mina told it, 'You're a nice good cat.' And with this, she extracted half a ham sandwich from her pocket and fed it to him, big fat tears still rolling down her cheeks.

She hardly noticed the cat escape from her grip.

As the tomcat ran for it Twilight unsteadily walked over to the little girl, who was apparently still crying, and offered her a handkerchief and a bandage for her hand. It was the least she could do for biting her, afterall

Mina looked up as a handkerchief was offered her. Sniffing, she wiped her tears away and said
'A cat bited me. It was a laughing cat and bad, it hurt me lots, look!'
And she showed the bemused girl with the handkerchief the slightly bleeding bite-mark. She looked on with approval as the girl bandaged it up for her.
'nk you.' She said suddenly shy. 'I'm Mina, I'm six, who are you? Are you a strange lady?

Twilight smiled at the small girl. She thought the girl to be kind of cute, now that she wasn't trying to make her drink gutter water, anymore.

"E'm Twilight," she said. Speaking was pretty hard to get the hang of, as well. "E'm fiteen. 'nd yes, E'm kinda strange..inna way." If you consider not actually being a human strange, she finished in her mind.

'Oh' said Mina.
Mummy said I shouldn't talk to strange people.

'I don't think my mummy likes you. Did you know you talk funny?' Mina looked round nervously to see if she could still see Charlie. She remembered something and giggled.
'My friend Charlie stole that man's arm!' She giggled again.

Twilight gave a small laugh.

"Yes, Aye know Aye tawk funee. 'Nd that man apppears to bee a zombee." She turned back to Mina. "Who's Charlee?"

Mina's eyes grew big: she had never seen a zombie before!
'He's a zombie?' She asked amazed, 'wow!' 'Charlie is my friend, he lives next to us. He stole a zombie's arm but now he wants it back.'
'Charlie's silly' she concluded after a moment.

Mina started to wonder if Charlie needed help to escape the zombie-man.
'Are zombers dangerous?'

"No, zombies are not dangerous little girl" said Mark the Fiendish Assassin from behind her, "But they do tend to be a little bit tetchy when children steal their arms"

Mark had been watching the little girl with interest. She seemed to be a natural with animals, reminding him of his sister. Mark was not good with animals. Especially dogs.

"Did you see a member of the Watch walking this way with someone else?" He enquirted politely.

Jeannie, Broc and Jake had politely moved away from the strange goings on with the cats and the little girl and moved further down the street.

Jeannie had seen the smaller cat disspear spluttering gutterwater then a girl came walking out of the same alley also suspiciously spitting gutter water and was offering the little girl a bandage.

Aha! I knew there was somthing odd about that cat. Never heard of a feline bi-morph though...

Now though Jeannie stood with her back to them as she spoke to Broc about his request to leave the watch, so she didn't see the Assassin approach the group further down the street.

"Ok Broc, well you know I can't give you permission to leave. You'll have to take that to the Captain or the Commander. May I ask why you want to leave so suddenly? You seem flustered about something."

It seemed strange how there was so much space in this city and yet everyone appeared to want to occupy the bit he was in. Broc had been the first and as he had right himself and the enthusiastic zombie, without the latter falling to pieces a spinning ball of fur, claws and teeth had assaulted him, destroying part of his trousers. Now Jake was used to having his clothes shredded, but usually he only had to get used to it being him that did it. As the small girl came and dragged off the cats, sticking their heads in the gutter etc, Jake felt a sense of justice and made sure the documents he was carrying were intact. Seeing the cat go into the alley and the woman come out, didn't think, as most humans did, that it must be two different occurrences. One thing you get used to as a werewolf was to see that happen a lot. Jake pointed the cat/woman out to Jeannie and as he did he noticed the Assassin. It had to be an Assassin, no other people in Ankh-Morpork walked like that, or had the thought that black and black was a good combination of dress.

During the last few months someone, and Jake suspected it had been one of the vampire families, had engaged the Assassins guild's services. However, astoundingly, the Assassin that had come after him had not realised that he was a werewolf, either that or the guild did not wish to make problems with the Von Uberwalds. Anyway Jake had hogged tied his assailant and mailed him back to the guild with the money to cancel his contract in the man's mouth. The Assassin had been perfectly alive, if a little indignant when he was placed in a box and since then he'd not heard anything from the guild since. He didn't know whether this Assassin was looking for him, but he decided he rather not have a conversation about why he had done it and he was already late for his appointment.

"I'm going ot have to go, I'm going to be late."

After some time had passed, Patrick wasn't sure if he was leading the horse or if maybe the horse only let him think that. It was quite clear however that Patrick had no idea where he was.

Up ahead he spied two girls talking and thought maybe they at least could point him in the right direction.

Walking closer he saw that one appeared to have dunked her head in a pond...

"Um...excuse me? Hi. I was hoping you may be able to point me in the direction of the Watch House?"

Patrick knew that walking through the city, any city, looking as if you didn't know where you were going only asked for trouble, but what harm could he come to from two girls?

He noticed his horse becoming just a tad bit nervous and tried to soothe the beast with some carefully offered sweets.

The little dwarf that had that stroke of memory in the middle of the conversation with the waitress ,went out of the cafe an while she was wondering through the labyrinth of alleyways of Ankh-Morpork she got in the same alley at the same time,where Twilight transformed back into a human...
Orcakeline stood there and stared at the cat-woman and while she was talking with the girl,the little gray trousered dwarf that wore a brown big blouse and a big helmet with her big axe in her left hand approached the little Mina and asked her:

Little,er,gal,where did that firrrst little tomcat go,after youuuu forced it to drink that horrid gray-transparent gutter-watter?Ey?I kinda need to know...Please..

So after she said that she gave a big grin with a little smile so not to frighten the little girl..
Orcakeline waited afterwards to see what the little six year old Mina had to say to that...

Their eyes met.
Mark's eyes were thinking those eyes look familiar but I'm not sure why
Jake's eyes were thinking Oh no, not him again

Mark stepped through the 2 girls and the dwarf as only an assassin can and narrowly avoided the wizard being towed by a horse. He had to find out who this man was and why he seemed so familiar. Something from a little while back possibly? Guild business probably had something to do with it, it was how he met most people, even if it was only temporarily.

He felt for the throwing knives up his sleeve.
They were not there.
He rummaged under his cloak for his sword.
It was missing.
A little flustered, he moved his hand behind his back to reach for his blowpipe, just in case.
He found it.
A search for his darts came up with a blank.
Bugger!

Nevermind He thought, I'll just ask him if he recognises me, what could possibly go wrong

But the man had disappeared, leaving just a broken zombie and a Watch Officer.

Jeannie nodded to Jake, it would have been nice to catch up as they had intended but she guessed she had better get to the bottom of this situation with Broc.

Bidding Jake goodbye, Jeannie turned back to Broc

"It is my day off you know" she said reproachfully "but I'm curious to find out what is going on. You're a good officer, it seems strange that you would want to just quit"

They needed to go to the watch house. Jeannie didn't have the authority to accept Broc resignation. Turning to head towards Pseudopolis yard Jeannie noticed the eye contact between Jake and the Assassin further down the street. Jake either didn't recognise the Assassin or just refused to acknowledge his presence.

Jeannie watched the him reaching into various pockets she tensed, waiting for the man in black to give her an excuse to nab him

Oh no you don't pal!

When it became apparent that he couldn't find what he was looking for, she decided to make sure the Assassin knew she had spotted what he was trying yet thankfully failing to do. Jeannie walked slowly down the street with her arms crossed and a look on her face that clearly said 'I've got nothing to pin on you yet, but I can find something'

The Assassin was lucky that he had drawn a blank with his weapons, he obviously had no idea what Jake was. Still proceeding slowly down the street Jeannie over heard the wizard asking directions. She sighed, well she was heading there anyway.

"We are going to the watch house now, you're welcome to come with us if you don't know the way"

But,nevertheless,I forgot to mention that the dwarf actually was responsible for waking up very early,at 5 a.m. and go feed the birds in the tower that was out of town very near to it,because of a deal she had with her former pet,a blue bird with white dots,and with a very long and green neck...a very funny bird indeed..So,the dwarf had to feed the birds because she once neglected her bird-pet and she couldn't get out into the big blue sky and stayed in house all day without eating anything at all..so since that happened,Orcakeline had to feed the birds for 1 years time..But while dwarf was on her fourth day in the tower feeding the birds,her pet ,Byurdy,came at the window where her relatives where being fed and told the dwarf :

Because I am a very old bird,and already am 97 years old,my time has come...I,who was your faithful pet,now leave you with no other choice but to feed these relatives of mine till the bird in the middle will finish grinding the big statue in your garden!This is my last wish...Alas,I know say: Goodb...

And this was the last thing that the dwarfs pet said..
But the little bird that had to grind the statue already started ...
Luckily,the dwarf could easily understand animal language.

Orcakeline got in the alley where Twilight was just preparing to transform because she was led by the sound of cats and thought (but was right to) that the tomcat was then she saw the puddle and guest why the feline bit the poor little girl and she was sure that the girl forced th tomcat to drink it to,because Orcakeline heard the tomcat say a shy ''meow'' and recognized the voice.

Mark the Fiendish Assassin watched The Watch officer watch him. He watched back, watching to see what she would do next*.
She approached him, stopping to say something to the horse which was helping the wizard.
She was speaking to him, maybe she knows who he is
"Ah, my good Sergeant, I was wondering if you could assist me in a small identification matter?" enquired Mark most politely and with a winning smile on his face which only several lessons in Charisma for 6th Formers with Dr Den Tistry could provide.

*This is getting silly now!

Dressed in black, full of charm...everything an Assassin should be. Except he seemed to have forgotten the tools of his trade. A forgetful assassin? That must make contracts very interesting, Jeannie mused

Smiling back at him she replied

"Certainly sir...if I can"

"You can? Oh that is good" said Mark, "That young man you were talking to, do you know who he is, it's just that he seems familiar but I'm not sure why."

Something hit Mark. Fortunately, it wasn't an arrow.

"I think he maybe from out of town but from a very prominent family if that helps"

Jake wasn't sure why but he was surprised at the spacious and well appointed office of Mr Slant. He had been expecting a crypt like place with gothic candles, a greenish glow and a strong smell of mildew. Of course the smell of Mildew was concealed by the expensive cologne the zombie wore. The two sat in silence now for at les ten minutes as Mr Slant went over every paper he had been given.

"It would appear that your father wishes to acknowledge you as a member of the family. This of course means that, due to your half brother's unfortunate demise would make you the eldest child and so entitled to your father's estate upon his death. I believe you are also to take on the title of Lord Valker Jake Von Uberwald."

Jake winced at the mention of the name he had thought he had managed to expunge from the memory of all the people he had ever had contact with. Of course his father would have to remember it and make it his title. Of course wolves and dogs sniffed each others arses and growled and grunted to establish pack order, it would appear that his father use lawyers and had just catapulted his illegitimate son to his first in line heir. The only reason it could be was the rest of his father's children had been daughters…a very old fashioned werewolf it would appear.

"I will of course get everything in order and have the documents for you to sign within the next few days. Will you be staying within the city long?"

It was clear the way Mr Slant shuffled paper that he was only asking to make sure he sent the bill to the right place.

"I will be staying in Ankh-Morpork for a while, I haven't decided on a length yet."

The Zombie nodded and swept to his feet, wobbling slightly. Jake took the hand, very carefully as an image of Broc came to mind.

"It would appear you have ripped your trousers My Lord."

Jake looked down at the torn trouser leg.

"The city appears to have gone t o the cats."

It was a poor joke, but the Zombie managed a sycophantic titter.

Deciding that going back to the house would mean given reasons for why he was leaving, he went to the tailors he had used to use and asked if they had any trousers that might fit. He came out with a pair that weren't as well fitted as his previous pair, but on the up side the didn't have a waking great tear down one leg. Realising that the whole encounter wit the zombie and the tailors had taken him a good couple of hours he went in search of Jeannie, deciding that, despite it being her day off, the most likely place to find her would be the watch house, he made his way there.

Jeannie kept her face carefully blank when the assassin asked about Jake

"I don't know very much about him I'm 's only recently arrived in the city so you may be right."

which was technically an honest answer. They had only known each other for short time before he had left for Uberwald, she didn't know much more about him than his family origins and a few muddled details of his past. Besides, an assassin asking after one of her friends made her uncomfortable. She wasn't about to give him Jakes full name and address no matter how charming a smile was being flashed at her.

"I afraid I can't be much help with this matter sir. Now if you'll excuse me I need to escort this gentleman and his horse to his destination"

She gave the assassin a polite nod, and walked over to the wizard. "If you are ready sir, the watch house is this way"

Mina was bewildered: so many people at once! She looked round to answer the kind man in the cape who had appeared behind her, but he had already moved on to the group with the zombie-man in it.

Mina then turned to the scary dwarf with the big grin and an axe. Mina had grown up in Ankh-morpork so she already had the self-preservation to know that this could be a bad combination.
'Kitty's gone away' she told the dwarf in a scared and a diminutive voice. She backed away from the dwarf and walked into the other man.

'You're a wizard! Can you do magic?' Mina thought a bit and said
'I don't know, home's that way.' She pointed. 'I think.'
Mina started to look worried as she watched the group of people move away.

Patrick looked down at the girl and smiled as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small flame which held in his hand.

"You mean magic like this?"

Again reaching into his coat pocket he fumbled about a bit as his hand came out with a miniature dragon.

"Or this?"

The dragon gave a puff of smoke from its snout and flapped its wings like a butterfly.

His horse stamped it front hooves at the sight of the small beastie but soon relaxed.

"Your house is that way..you think? Are you lost?"

One good deed for the day, coming up!

Patrick was a big believer in good deeds. Maybe that's why he'd been pummeled on a regular basis as a child by his brothers.

Jeannie hadn't heard the little girl at first, but after hearing what the wizard said to her Jeannie assumed that she was lost.

The wizard, to his credit, seemed eager to help but if the guy didn't even know how to get to one of the most well known buildings in the city how much help could he realistically be?

Jeannie walked over to the little girl and cruched down so she was at eye level. This made a grown-up seem much less intimidating than if they were towering above the child.

"Hi, my name's Jeannie and I'm a watchman, do you need some help to get home?"

She knows a little more than she's letting on thought Mark as she attempted to escort the horse and his faithful wizard towards the Watchhouse. The zombie tried to lurch after them, which is a sight to behold when you only have one leg attached properly.
He sighed. He wished his memory was a little better, but ever since that contract in...where was it? He knew it wasn't in Ankh-Morpork so that only left...the rest of the Disc
I really need to get some sleep but first, another visit is in order and with a sweep of his cloak, he headed towards Filigree Street and onto the only place that had as many answers as it did questions. Although they seldom matched up.

Suddendly the tomcats head popped out of the wizard's pack. It held some half-torn pieces of paper in its mouth.
Vanishing and appearing mysteriously, as you probably know, is standard cat-like behaviour. Preferably followed by the destruction of various important objects / rooms / houses / small countries. (delete whichever is innapropriate)
It dived back into the scraps of paper, it was indeed a comfy backpack.

Mina squealed with delight and giggled as the magic tricks were performed.

'Charlie knows the way home' she explained to the nice wizard, 'but I can't see him anymore.' She looked uncertain and nervous suddenly.
'He was silly and stole an arm.' She added more brightly.

'Nice horsey!' Mina walked up to pat the horse and squealed as it neighed at her.
'Are you strange too?' she asked the wizard.

Mina turned round as someone else started talking to her, she was feeling confused and shy around all these new people. Usually people just ignored her or called her a nuisance. She got onto her tiptoes and whispered
'yes' in response to the lady's question.

'Kitty!' Mina suddenly exclaimed as she noticed the cat's head pop out of the back-pack briefly. The grown-ups looked confused.

Jeannie looked around, she couldn't see a cat but she could smell one and the wizards pack seemed to be moving. Smiling she said nothing and spoke again to the little girl

"Do you know which street you live in? I'll help you get there." Jeannie thought for a second and added "Then maybe your friend Charlie can give my friend his arm back too? He looks very silly with just one arm dosn't he?" she said grinning at the face Broc pulled at her

Twilight felt very crowded. All these people coming and going so fast, the little girl giggling at the wizard, the assasin, the dwarf, the...other people. And that wretched cat was hiding in that wizard's backpack!

Nonetheless, she was feeling very uncomfortable and very crowded, trying to control the urge to transform and bound away. Her hair was still wet with gutter water, and she was twitching uncomfortably shuffling her feet, and tried to pull herself together

Patrick was glad for the arrival of the officer, she could point him in the direction of the Watch House and she seemed to do well with the little one.

"Yes, I suppose so," he answered when asked if he was strange. "At least that's what people always tell me."

He couldn't figure out what the "kitty!' had been all about, but figured the girl was playing some kind of game.

Looking at the other one, still dripping wet, he asked, "Need a towel? Or is this your look for the day?"

Deciding he would at least try to help, he reached for his pack...

The tomcat decided, after a short, but intellectually intense moment, when the backpack started to move, to tuck itself firmly into it's bottom. It shifted so that it's belly was turned upwards and covered as much area as possible, so that any possible curious 5-fingered hands would first touch the soft, warm, furry belly. Because the sensation of touching a cats belly is very pleasant, the intruder will, even if surprised, not retract the fingers fast enough to avoid the incoming flurry of claws.

Twilight had the urge to shake herself dry, but she restrained herself. As the wizard reached into his pack she could almost feel the cat shifting into position.

"Act'ally," she said. "E'm looking fur the blk tomcat thet was heer erlier. Purrhaps you cud help mee find him?"

One word was racing through her mind at the thought of the tomcat: Revenge! and some maniacal laughter, but of course it was all in her head.

The dwarf saw that Mina was frightened and backed away in the same time the little girl did...And told the little girl:

I'm so sorry...didn't mean ta frighten yeah...mistake...I don't wan ta hurt anybody,I just wanted to know where the tomcat is...Thankz anyway..

Orcakeline heard Minas exclamation ..the ''kitty!'' one...She decided to try and protect the tomcat,guessing what Twilight had in mind actually,knowing the two cats were in the middle of a fight...So Orcakeline backed away and almost tripped over Jeannies foot,but fortunately she turned her head just in time to stop...So she waited for the fight to begin...hoping she would get the glory in the end by saving the tomcat,forgetting that cats liked not to be disturbed in their fights and that Mina was frightened ,Orcakeline made a biiiig wide smile appear on her face and waited...again...

Mark the Fiendish Assassin walked through the gates of the Guild. They had a menacing quality but also an openness about them (being gates that were always open, this was a very good description for them). The four corners of the quad were occupied by students trying to blend in with the shadows. Mark stepped to the side and promptly
disappeared.

"I do hope you are not going to play a jape on my students my good Sir" came a voice from behind him.
"Me? No! I wouldn't do a thing like that" replied Mark and without turning around he said "How are you this fine day Dr Thrib?"
"I am well, although my students could possibly do with a crash course in camouflage"
Mark turned to greet his old teacher, they shook hands and exchanged more pleasantries.

Mina whispered 'Dunno' and after some thought, she added 'It's grey and tall' to the lady. Then seeing the dwarf grin a huge and manic grin, she ran behind the wizard to hide from it. She felt his ruck-sack move just above her head. She was frightened and confused and started to cry.

Jeannie felt sorry for the little girl, she was obviously frightened. Unfortunately the description of the girls home could apply to most of the buildings in the city and the only person who knew where she lived had done a runner after stealing Brocs arm.

Jeannie stayed crouched down as she thought about what to do, there was no way she was going to leave a frightend child on her own in the city.

If she changed into the wolf she could easily pick up the girls scent and find where she had come from but she had seen the little girls extremely enthusiastic approach to animals and decided that probably wouldn't be the best of ideas right now. Best to get the little girl somewhere safe then Jeannie could trace where she lived.

Inwardly Jeanie sighed and made a note to find out how much leave she was owed. A holiday was the only way she was going to get any proper time off, she didn't mind her job but after the recent double shifts she had been doing she could really use a break. It was looking less and less likely that was going to happen today though. Ah well,she reminded herself, it was still only morning. Once Jeannie had got the little group to the watch house maybe she could get them all sorted and still have the rest of the day off. It was worth a try

"Whats your name?" Jeannie asked the girl who told her

"OK Mina, I can help you get home but first we need to go the the watch house alright? There are people there who can help us find out where you live"

"Cud Aye bee uv eny help to getting her home?" suggested Twilight "Et's the leest Aye cud do after my cat bit her" Well, it wasn't exactly a lie

The dwarf was disappointed that she couldn't be of any help for the little girl..
Orcakeline wanted to show Mina that she actually wanted to comfort her with that smile,but alas,it didn't work...so the dwarf gave Jeannie a little nudge and told her:

Please give this to Mina from me and tell her I'm sorta sorry far whatever I did to her that frightened her...Please,but not now...Thanks.. and with these words she gave Jeannie a biiiig lollipop with cherry and apple flavor. Pleaaaase!.. repeated Orcakeline...

Slightly taken aback Jeannie took the lollipop from the dwarf but couldn't resist giving Mina a brief yet friendly lecture on not taking sweets from strangers.

Jeannie looked at the cat/girl who had offered her assistance in helping Mina.

"Any help would be appreciated, what exactly did you have in mind?"

The dwarf still wanted to make Mina feel better,even thou she didn't know how,being already a little bit sorry that she kinda tacked Jeannie aback to..so she just backed away and followed everybody to the Watch in the most silent and invisible way possible (trying to turn invisible like Susan... even if she knew(the dwarf) that she couldn't... )
Orcakeline still wanted to make sure Mina got home in the safest way possible ,but still wanted the tomcat to...
But the dwarf thought a little bit and understood she couldn't stop the fight between the to cats that probably followed...So she just said that she will try to give the tomcat a good cozy home and much much food..These were Orcakelines private matter...

Mina nodded tearfully in response to what the lady said. Mummy said that watch-people were nice. She smiled a bit through her tears when she heard the other girl offer to help as well, and let herself be led by the group to the watch-house.

Twilight shrugged, a bit shyly. "Aye've been in dis city all my lyfe. Aye cud pract'clly walk et backwards. E'm sure Aye cud figyure out where et is if she described et to mee" She smiled inwardly, talking seemed to be getting a bit easier for her

"Thankyou. That will be a huge help"

When the group arrived at the watch house Jeannie orderd Broc upstairs to speak to Vimes, showed the wizard to the front desk and grabbed herself a nice strong cup of tea before asking the two girls to join her out on the front steps so they could get to the bottom of where Mina lived.

She let Twilight lead the questions as Jeannie sat back in the mid-morning light and sipped her drink.

In the mean time ,Orcakeline waited outside,hoping to see Twilight come out of the watch house with the thou she knew a little not very important person from the watch,she didn't try to get in the building,knowing it's safer to wait and take Twilight an interview (yeah right ...ask Twilight some questions,that's all)and try to do a good deed to the tomcat.

Patrick was in tears. He was sure he'd bit his tongue.

As he had reached into his bag to get a towel for the dripping wet girl, his hand had briefly touched something furry before teeth and fangs dug into his flesh!

His natural reaction after several million years of evolution would have been to scream, rip his hand away and jump around in a general state of alarm.

Mina had changed that. He'd seen that the girl was afraid and heard her start to cry and tried his best to contain the pain and urge to react as best as he could.

He walked with the group because through the flashes of light in his head and the sound of his own grinding teeth, he had heard someone say 'Watch House'.

With one hand on the reins and the other stuck inside the bag attached to gods only knew what, he'd walked almost sideways the entire way whimpering to himself, daring not to move his hand.

As the others walked into the Watch House and the little girl disappeared, Patrick decided it was now or never! Ripping his hand out of the bag he found a ball of fur, eyes and teeth attached quite firmly to his fingers. The pain was horrible!

Jumping from foot to foot and swinging his arm around in an effort to dislodge the beast, his other hand flailed about with a mind of it's own; octarine sparks flew from his fingertips as unchecked magic spilled out with the pain.

A nearby flower pot turned into a slightly surprised looking fish, somewhere inside the Watch House a pencil sprouted wings and flew out the window. An old monk walking by on the street ran for cover as his ceremonial robe turned into a very pretty but somewhat small dress.

"Heeeeelp! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff! HeeEEeeEEelp!"

Twilight looked around to see if that tomcat was near, but she couldn't see him, so she followed Jeannie and Mina out to the front steps of the Watch House.

He's probaly still in that wizard's pack

Stepping out she sat down oon the steps and turned to Mina.

"Mina, can you describe yer house to mee? If Aye know whut et looks lyke Aye myght bee able to figure out whear et is"

While Orcakeline was waiting at the entrance of the watch house,she saw Mina,Jeannie and Twilight on the front prepared (in her mind) to listen to the conversation between the three girls and see if Mina got home safe.

Mina still looked upset and bewildered, but that wasn't surprising really. Jeannie remembered something she had seen in the canteen when she was getting her tea, she stood up and disappeared inside the building for a couple of moments.

When Jeannie came back out she had a small plate with a couple of sugar covered jam filled doughnuts on it. Not knowing whether Twilight ate this sort of sweet food, given her natural morphic state, Jeannie simply placed the plate between the girls and smiled gently at the little tear stained face that looked up at her

"Here you go Mina, and there's one for your friend if she wants it. If not, you can take it home for Charlie"

Jeannie sat back down on the steps wrapping her hands around her cup, and simply listened and waited

Mark left Lord Downey's office with more questions than answers. The face he had seen in the street was connected to a contract from many years ago but that was all he knew. Lord Downey had been very cryptic and it seemed to Mark that there was unfinished business in Uberwald.

Mark the Fiendish Assassin made up his mind there and then to find out as much as he could. If it involved a trip to Uberwald, then so be it. He decided to head home to gather some things he may need for the journey, but first, a quick stop on the way.

Any watcher might have seen the following scene in slowmotion, probably because of all the magic:
The tomcat flew off from the wizards hand, keeping the claws as buried in the flesh as possible, because cats are evil, and flew over his shocked face right through the octarine flames onto the magicked flowerpot.
Nothing had happened, except for the slowmotion stopping and the cats fur standing out in all directions.
The tomcat stood still, a bit dazzled.

Broc sat next to Jeannie. and contemplated. With slow movments he removed his badge and set it next to Jeannie.

"Im sorry sergent, but i have to leave now. I...I just need to do some investigation of my own. I need to find out who killed me. and why. and to tell you the truth i would love your help...please"

Broc breathed. and he breathed again. and there was this annoying thumping noise coming...from...his... chest .

"OH MY GOD IM ALIVE AGAIN!"

Jeannie looked at the badge that Broc had placed on the step, picking it up she turned it over and over in her hands. When she did speak she had a farway look in her eyes

"I understand why you need to follow this was something that happend in my past that will be resolved. One day. I know it's still there but I've learnt to put it away in my mind...for now. If this is what you need to do then you have my support..."

Jeanie sighed and put the badge back down, she was about to tell Broc she would help if she could when he shouted "OH MY GOD IM ALIVE AGAIN!"

All Jeannie could say in reply was

"Huh!"

So that was it, he had just been handed the metaphorical keys to his dad's estate. It was great to feel acceptance but he couldn't shake a feeling of unease, it seemed to have happened so quickly. When he was Jake the mongrel that everyone could kick he had nothing to lose and now? Now he was a Beta and he was a wolf not to be messed with. It was during these reveries that a Monk wearing a dress revealing rather too much hair and cleavage than was proper for a monk, bounced into him and carried on running. Jake turned to stare in the direction of the monk and couldn't help thinking that Ankh-Morpork had some very strange religions kicking about.

It took a while but after recovering a bit form the sight of the monk his thoughts turned to the Assassin he had seen. He doubted if it was the same one he had boxed and returned to sender but he remembered the letter his father had sent. Something flowery and polite no doubt with the distinct impression that the bill for the contract had been paid and that further attempts to terminate a member of the Von Uberwald family would be frowned upon.

It was then Jake came into view of the four sitting on the steps of the watch house. A small girl, a much less pale Broc, Jeannie and, his hackles rising, the cat girl. It wasn't that Jake had anything had against cats, it was just something in the primordial genes wanted to chase her, preferably for a long distance and then up a tree, old habits died hard. Restraining the urge he moved forwards.

"So off duty means, sitting outside of the watch house instead of being inside? Wow, you watchman just know how to have all the fun."

He looked at the little girl and the woman he had seen going into the alley as a cat. He pursed his lips for a moment before smiling.

"Is everything okay? Broc you are looking…healthy today."

Just after Brocs revelation Jeannie could have sworn she saw a pencil flutter past her. When Jake appeared, Jeannie smiled back ignoring his little jibe about watchmen. She was actually trying to have a day away from the yard but Fate seemed to have a different plan

"No, This poor little girl is lost and I'm having a very strange day. Can a zombie just become alive again? Well, Broc has. Can a pencil fly? Well, that one can. Look it's chasing a pigeon..." Jeannie watched the liberated pencil as it dissapeared from view

Shaking her head, Jeannie stood up and walked closer to Jake so she could speak to him without too many people overhearing.

"I don't know if this is of any importance to you or not Jake, but I'll feel better for mentioning it. You saw that assassin earlier right? Well, once you'd gone he was asking me about you. Obviously I didn't tell him anything, but I thought you should know"

Jeannie couldn't ignore the noises from inside the watch house any longer

"What is going on in there?"

Twilight watched as the man approached. She was getting a weird vibe from him, pretty much the same vibe she was getting from this watchwoman, but she couldn't exactly put her finger on what it was. There was something about them that had something clawing and hissing at her mind.

Twilight looked down at her feet, the vibe she was getting from the man made her want to avoid his gaze, as well as the woman's. She did this until she heard the woman's question,

"What is going on in there?"

It was background noise to her at first, but after a moment Twilight could hear hissing and frantic yelling coming from inside the Watch house. She sighed and relaxed little. To an alleycat, the sound of fights felt like home.

Jake took in Jeenie's information and tried not to let his curiosity show. He was saved having to answer her question by the her turning around to look inside.

"Well, unless I am mistaken, it sounds like someone is strangling a cat. Either that or you've started employing some really strange watchman."

He jumped to one side as a helmet came skittering around the corner and vanished down the street.

"Well, it would appear that you DO employ some very strange watchman. Was there a really small person under that helmet or did it just have its own legs?"

Mark headed for the Watch house. He had to find that sergeant and get more answers although he had a sneaky feeling that he would end up with more questions.

Uberwald.
It had been many years since he had been there. It had all gone wrong of course. Downey had told him that the contract required three people and he had been the only survivor because he was just an observer. His tutor had been posted back to The Guild and the other assassin had never been seen again.

He carried on walking with these thoughts in mind, oblivious to a monk in a dress running by and a pencil chasing a pigeon. Ok, first, he would talk to the Sergeant, then, he would have to find that face from the past and then, when it was all over, he would accept Lord Downey's offer to teach concealment at The Guild. A quite life would be nice, he had completed, if some what erratically, over fifteen contracts and it was time to hand up his sword.
And crossbow.
And blowpipe.
And daggers.
And poisons.

Patrick let out a screech as the cat detached from his hand, taking some flesh with it as it went.

He grabbed the bloodied hand with his other and doubled over, ignoring the havoc created from the release of so much magic in such a short time.

"Oh for crying out loud! Why do the gods create such things!"

It's their idea of a sick joke! Must be...

As the blood slowed and feeling returned, Patrick looked around for the demon thing that had done this. Seeing the cat on top of the newly arrived flower pot he raised his good hand and pointed a finger.

"I'm gonna turn you into a...a...well...something small and toothless!"

Broc stared at his, well non gray skin. He tugged at his arm. It didnt come off.

"YEEEEESSSS!"

Broc got up and began to do his happy dance, which he couldnt do before, because it involved flailing your limbs everywhere. ya you just cant do that as a zombie. Then something else dawned on him. he turned to Jake with a huge grin on his face.

"HIT ME!"

Mina was cheered up immediatly by the appearance of the jam buns. She turned to the older girl and said 'It's big and grey and dirty. Mummy tells me not to play in the puddles in the road, but sometimes we play boats and then we have to.' She thought a bit more and said, 'There's a dead dog in it and mummy says it's dirty too. I called it Scruffs'

Mina finished her bun and went to invatigate what the strange noise she could hear in the watch house was. She giggled. The wizard-man was swinging his arm with the black kitty hanging off his arm. As she watched, the pussycat let go and went whizzing through the air!
'Wheeeee!' cried Mina.

She looked round and worriedly noticed that the wizard's hand was bleeding. She walked up to him and extracted a dirty scrunched up hanky to offer him. Mina then ran over to the cat which was trying to escape, grabbed hold of his tail once more and held him under the fore-arms facing away from her. She took no notice as the cat struggled and she told it off in an authoritative voice.
'Bad, silly, naughty kitty! Look what you did!' She brought the cat over to the wizard and told it 'now say sorry!'

The cat meowed as it struggled to get out of her grip.

'He says sorry.' Mina told the wizard.

Twilight peered through the now open door of the Watch house, and saw the cat struggling in Mina's arms. She laughed a bit to herself, but somehow amusement turned into pity for the tomcat. Twilight really was good at heart, and little girls could be a cat's worst nightmare. To her surprise, she felt that she wanted to help him.

Sighing, and knowing she was going to regret this, she stood up.

"Excuse mee," she said to the group, and with that, she turned and dashed into the nearest alley, and changed into her natural cat form.

Something about being in her cat form made her feel even more vulnerable to the two people for some reason, but she'd worry about that later. Walking inside the watch house, Twilight rubbed up against Mina's legs and gave a sweet little Mew

The tomcat was still shocked after the magical accident, and if that wasn't enough, that... bi-ped had grabbed him and had flung him at the wizard. Who was realllllyyyyy angry . The tomcat just thought of mewing helplessly, when he saw the other cat appear.
For the first time, he suppressed his instincts and kept quiet. He couldn't wait to see that bloody aggressive cat in the hands of the kid.
Mind you, he was bloody aggressive too, but that was beside the point.

Jeannie was watching the walking helmet and was about to say something to Jake when Broc began to shout and dance. His skin did look alot pinker and his scent was becoming more alive. When Broc asked Jake to hit him Jeannie shook her head in disbelief

"Just what the bloody hell is going on today! Did I actually wake up this morning or am I just in the middle of a very weird dream...and no-one even think of pinching me to find out!"

She looked at the grinning Broc, who was still inviting Jake to hit him and waving his arms around just slightly more than was necessary, probably because he couldn't believe that they weren't falling off yet

"Jake, just hit the man if it makes him happy."

Jeannie said it without really thinking, she was watching Twilight. The girl excused herself then returned as the small calico cat that had disturbed her breakfast this morning. Jeannie watched as Twilight entered the chaotic watch house and approached Mina

Good gods, she's mad!
Mina was a very sweet girl but her approach to animals was anything but. Jeannie watched in macabre fascination to see what the cat would be forced to drink/eat/wear or possibly all three

Jake shook his head.

"I'm not going to-"

And then Jeannie told him to hit Broc, this really was a strange day.

"I suppose it must be something to do with the wizard in there and leaking magic."

He pinched Jeannie on the neck.

"Nope, you're not sleeping."

Then he looked at Broc who was still dancing around, wondering if he could really modulate his strength he tried to give Broc a gentle tap. He had to admit, the ex-Zombie did look surprised, right before his feet left the ground and he landed on his butt on the top stair looking dazedly, but quietly up at the two of them.

"Uhh…sorry, I was going for a gentle prod."

Patrick stopped just short of doing something nasty to the cat just as Mina approached. He accepted the hanky from her with as much of a smile as he could manage at this point.

He winced as she grabbed the creature and took a small step back as she offered the apology from the 'kitty'.

"'s alright."

How could growl at a little girl?

Seeing the other cat appear made him nervous so he busied himself with something to occupy his mind. Reaching into his bag he felt...scraps.

"Oh! That...that...

Mind your manners in front of the girl!

"...kitty - tore up all my money! I thought paper was a daft thing to use for currency and that cat proved it! What am I gonna do now? Oh hell...

As he sifted through the remains of what was to be his means of support on his travels, he remembered the envelope that Ponder Stibbons had given him.

"Maybe I can get at least one thing done today? I'm supposed to give this letter to a Sam Vimes...is he here?"

Get this done and make a run for it before anything else happens today.

Twilight wasn't exactly sure why she wanted to help the tomcat out. It certainly wasn't his personality. It was pretty much because he was a cat and Twilight was big on the whole 'lend a helping paw to those in need' thing. Whatever the reason, she thought, that cat had better be grateful for this

Mark could see the Watch house up ahead.
This is going to be interesting he thought. He spotted the man from earlier punch a Watch officer while that sergeant stood still.

The Assassin decided to blend in with the street around him to give him a better chance of getting to talk to the man. Maybe he could save himself a trip to Genua...or was it Klatch? Nevermind, he'd remember later.

Mina looked down as she heard the "mew"-sound and promptly dropped the cat she was holding in surprise: it was that bad cat that had bitten her again! She clamped her hand on the bad puss's back and told it
'Shan't stroke you till you've said sorry too.'

She kept hold of the cat until she heard it emit a subdued 'meow' and then let it go to stroke it clumsily, though a little bit more nervously than before, on the head.
'there see? goog cat'

As the wizard seemed to be busy, Mina left the cat, and wandered back outside to see what the lady who said she could find the way home was doing.

Broc jumped up and yelled and screamed.

"I FEEL PAIN!"

Then Broc realized he was bleeding.

"YAY! IM BLEEDING!"

Broc continued his happy dance. But now with more enthusiasim. oh and now there was blood spraying everywhere.

Turning to the tomcat, Twilight shot him a You-Better-Thank-Me-For-That look, and changed back into a human right there in front of him. Dusting off her dress, she stood up, and went back outside to meet up with the girl

Jake didn't notice the Assassin, the street was too confused with scents and the tang of blood exploded into his head like fireworks. The combined scent of Broc's blood and the wizard's blood from inside had made the wolf leap to attention and for a moment Jake had to make sure he was still human. Obviously Uberwald had really brought out the wolf in him. How had Broc managed to start bleeding from a punch?

"BROC!"

Jake said, more firmly and much louder than he had intended. Ripping off a strip of this ruined trousers which he still had with him, he handed it to Broc and in a quieter voice and hopefully more friendly.

"Would you please wrap it up."

Jeannie watched the various events takjing place inside and out of the watch house. Rubbing her neck where Jake had pinched it she glared at him

"I could have sworn I said not to pinch me!"

The blood scent from Broc confirmed that yes he was completley alive again, and also that yes the wolf wanted to come out and play. Jeannie took a few discreet steps away from the dancing bleeding watchman and aproached Twilight and Mina now they were both back outside.

"Ok, lets just get to the bottom of this before anything else happens ok? Mina, are there any shops or anything on your street? Any statues, factories, pubs or anything like that near where you live?"

There had to be something that would solve the mystery of where the little girl lived.

The image of a steak, raw and bleeding floated into his mind and didn't make it any easier to concentrate. He did his best though and listened as Jeannie spoke and even tried to make a joke, anything to take his mind off the smell.

"Good grief, the little girl is lost and your worried about getting a drink? You should be asking her important things like…"

He stopped because anywhere to get a good shank of meat would probably not be met with amusement.

"Never mind, you know I think I'm going to stand over here."

He increased the distance between Broc and himself and more importantly, the wind direction.

Patrick had been directed up the stairs to the office where Commander Vimes currently sat reading various reports.

Knocking on the door he was met with a brief grunt and slowly opened it further to walk in.

"Commander Vimes? I have a letter from Stibbons at the University, he asked me to deliver it to you personally."

Vimes hadn't looked up from the pile of papers in front of him, but extended a hand and took the letter. "Don't leave yet."

Patrick stood in front of the desk and tried to respond after a few seconds, "Oh, I'm not returning to the University Commander. I'm going ona trip and...

The last bit was drowned out by the sudden sputtering and animation coming from the man sitting in front of him.

"WHAT? They want me to do WHAT?" Standing up from his chair the Commander rounded on Patrick and stood almost nose to nose with him.

"You think I've got nothing better to do? Think the Watch is here to do the bidding of a bunch of..."Undetermined amount of time', 'A few of your best', 'A matter of utmost urgency!'. Don't you people have...people to handle this kind of thing yourselves?"

Patrick was completely unprepared. He hadn't known what the letter would say and had no idea it would have anything to do with him.

"I, uh, I don't know what, um. Excuse me sir. Do you mind if I read the letter?"

Vimes thrust the paper into his face with as much aggressiveness that a piece of paper could be thrust.

Patrick took the letter and began reading.

Oh great! They got the Watch involved! Why didn't someone tell me?

Outside the watch house Jeannie waited for any forthcoming details about Minas home. Her ears picked up a very familiar bellow coming from the building

"Sounds like somone has annoyed the Commander, I'm glad it's nothing to do with me"

The blood scent was making her tetchy, Jeannie turned to Broc in exasperation

"Please, go and wash off the blood. You know what it does to..." seeing Mina looking at her in confusion Jeannie decided that sentence was probably best left unfinished

"...um, just clean up ok? Thanks"

Jeannie reflected that as days off went, this one was certainly high on entertainment if some what low on actually getting anything done

Jake felt tension ease from him when Broc left to get cleaned up. The scent of blood still hung in the air, but with the source removed it had begun to dissipate.

"Well, I've often found that if a high ranking member of any organisation gets angry, no matter who it's with, then usually everyone ends up suffering. Perhaps you should go and find out why he's so upset? I would of course, but, a) I'm not a watchman and b) well really a re-iteration of A."

Jeannie crossed her arms, and shook her head.

"No, it's my day off! I shouldn't even be here. I am not getting dragged into whatever has upset Vimes. I have plans for..."

She stopped in mid sentence when a young nervous constable approached her

"um, Sarge? Commander Vimes wants to see you straight away"

Jeannie rolled her eyes and unfolded her arms. When she spoke the nervous young officer visibly flinched, news of officers like Jeannie and Angua traveled around the rookies pretty quickly

"Oh great! What could I possibly have done? I haven't even been here!"

Jeannie looked at the others, "Jake, please will you wait here with Mina until I get back? Hopefully this won't take long then I can get her home"

Jeannie headed straight up to Vimes office, she knocked and entered.

Noticing the wizard stood there, she gave him a polite nod in greeting then stood and waited for Vimes to tell her what this was all about

Mark heard the rumble of thunder. It was a little odd seeing as there were no clouds in the sky. The thunder also sounded a little like Commander Vimes shouting. He saw the sergeant disappear into the building and carried on walking towards the man and the little girl.

How should I approach this? he thought, Maybe I should just come out and ask him, just hope he doesn't disappear again

Mark stepped up behind the man and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Er, excuse me sir, this may sound a little odd, but um..do you recognise me at all?" asked Mark, "It's just that you seem very familiar and I thnk I've only been to Uberwald once"

He looked at the little girl and took off his hat and bowed and greeted her, "Miss"

Patrick had read letter and felt his control over whatever was about to happen simply melt away.

Ridcully had written to the Commander explaining that the box given to hium by Rincewind was an 'extremely dangerous artifact that requires immediate attention'. He went on to say that it was now a matter for the City Watch to provide an escort of several of the best officers to make sure that it - the box - was disposed of properly.

"I swear Commander, I had no idea what the letter was about. If I'd known what they wanted I would have just kept going this morning and never delivered it. I promise."

Patrick stood there as the officer entered the room and they exchanged nods. He had a feeling she would be given this assignment by the Commander and immediately felt a bit sorry for her.

He had no idea what the box was about; had no clue as to who made it; had nothing to tell him how to 'properly dispose' of it..nothing. He didn't like the thought of getting anyone else involved in this...mess.

"I'm sure Commander that I can handle this...I don't want to impose."

Yeah right, and as soon as the University finds out you tried to get around this your name will be on every bounty hunters desk by the end of the week.

When Twilight heard the thunder of the Commander's voice she had to fight the urge to run away on all fours. Usually, when she was unable to run away from somethign her fur would cringe. Apparently, humans couldn't do that either.

So many rules about being human, how do they live with it all?

When the assasin came up (even to a cat it was quite clear that he was an assasin) Twilight was standing next to Mina, and fiddling with the loose thread on her dress. She liked thread. It relaxed her inner cat

The tomcat was confused. Normally he would've ran away, but he felt a strong urge to rub against the other cat's feet thankfully. He shuddered.
And then he realised that he'd never done that before.
He shuddered again.

The scent of the assassin came to him from out of the confusion of smells a few moments before he was tapped on the shoulder. Jake turned slowly and trained eyes that were used to making prey nervous, but he reminded himself this was an assassin, Jake's gaze did not change.

"I was under the impression that if an assassin's face was familiar to anyone, the assassin would have done a very poor job. I cannot say I recognise you, although I have had dealings with some of your colleagues, he tried to kill me, something, I must admit, that I was not impressed about."

Jake drew on years of breeding and was suddenly a different person, very cold, very aloof and very aware of his status in life.

In the office Vimes was speaking to Jeannie

"The bottom line is you have more field experience outside of the city than any of the officers here. From the sound of this...thing and what needs to be done with it that could be invaluable. Whatever this thing is I want it out of my city"

Jeannie nodded, and re-read the letter that Vimes had handed her. She looked up at the wizard, he seemed very uncomfortable about the whole thing.

"And they did this to you without even telling you? You must have done something bad to Ridcully to draw such a short straw" She put the letter back on Vimes desk

"OK Commander, how long do I have to prepare?"

Vimes shrugged "A couple of days should be plenty of time. We can get a team assembled to go with you, transport and everything else you might need can be arranged. I suggest you talk to our magical friend here and work out a destination...preferably as far away from here as possible. If even those damn wizards are afraid of this box then I really don't want to know what it can do!"

Jeannie stood up "Yes sir. If I may be excused?"

With a nod from Vimes Jeannie left the office, but not before instructing the wizard to meet her outside when he was ready. Ok, first things first, get the little girl safely home then embark on extremely dangerous mission involving unknown magical powers...she certainly couldn't complain that her job was mundane

The tomcat was irritated. It felt like the whole world was getting smaller. Snuffles retreated under a chair.
Snuffles?
Even that damn dwarf had given him a better name!
Why the bleedin' hell did he call himself Snuffles?
Why the bleedin' hell was he swearin'?
Why the bleedin' hell was he replacing 'g' with and ''', whatever that was?
Why the bleedin' hell was he thinking in written language?
Why the bleedin' hell did he know what language was?
His head bumped against the chair.
Weird if you consider that he hadn't raised it since he started following this trail of thought.

Mina was confused by all the comings and goings. 'hello' she said to the man who greeted her. She sat down on the step in front of the watch house and watched the things that were going on around her with interest.
She looked up to see the bigger girl again, and said 'where did you go? the bad cat came back, but it was sorry and didn't bite.'

Broc stemmed the blood flow with the cloth. And he wouldnt stop grinning. Thats when he saw the assassin. Now anger contorted his face,in fact his whole being was radiating anger.

"YOU!"

and dived for Marks throat.

Twilight sat down next to the girl.

"That was my cat," she said. She figured the truth would be too much for the girl right now. "I'm very sorry that I- she bit you. I'm sure she's very sorry, as well."

Just as she finished the sentence, Twilight heard the former zombie shout and dive at the assasin. Twilight rolled her eyes.

This is certainly going to be a fun day

Mark would have stepped out of the way of Broc's lunge but he was an assassin so he merely waltzed around him, and grabbed his collar. A dagger appeared against Broc's neck.
"Now my dear chap, that's no way to greet someone is it?" whispered Mark into Broc's ear and noticing the two girls and the cat, released him. He turned back to Jake.
"Well, I cannot speak for my colleagues, but seeing as you are still very much alive and they are not, the contract is complete"
"Now, you seem familiar and because Uberwald seems to come to mind and you did not deny it, I would very much like you to join me on a journey to help me remember. You will of course be paid for your time," said Mark the Fiendish Assassin, "This is very important to me and I will guarantee your safety from any other contracts that may have arisen"

Jake's entire body tensed as he watched the Assassin grab Broc, however he eased slightly when the ex-zombie was released. Was it even possible to be an ex-zombie?

"I'm no assassin but I am aware that one should not kill unless of course they are being paid, since I assume you are not, then that was merely an empty and rather showy gesture. Of course if you had killed him , in front of the watch house, you'd have to deal with the law or failing that, I would have killed you."

He was very aware he was dealing with an Assassin, but hunting was born into his genes.

"Now as for me, I did not deny it nor did I acknowledge the fact. However, I am from Uberwald, though I only generally put on my accident for tourists. Why do you want t ogo to Uberwald? And more importantly what if I refuse your generous offer?"

"Then I will find someone else that knows the area" replied Mark, "Someone with, shall we say, certain instincts"

Mark had, hopefully, got the message across that he knew Jake's secret. It wasn't that difficult really, seeing as people form Uberwald were either Igors, vampires or werewolves. Jake didn't have scars and wasn't wearing evening dress.

"Look, if you like, feel free to ask others to come along, I have no problem with that. I'm doing this for me, The Guild has nothing to do with it," stated Mark, "And I never inhume in front of children, payment isn't always necessary"

Broc stood up and pointed a trembeling finger at mark.

"You dont remember me do you? Five years ago, you had a contract out on my boss and i just got in the way. But I certinly surprised you when i got back up. and threw you through a wall."

Broc drew his sword.

"you've got sixty seconds to tell me who sent you before i go librarian on you"

When Broc drew his sword, Twilight immediately covered Mina's eyes.

"Broc! Dere's a child present!" sh shouted to the former zombie "Put yer sord away before you scare her!"

"I'm afraid I can not reveal who took out the contract on your boss. Even if I could remember" said Mark.

"Why don't you put the sword away, I have no intention of hurting you again, after all, next time, you may stay dead" Mark took a step back, he had one hand behind his back and another under his cloak.

"I'm sorry about this, would you believe it happens all the time" he said to Jake and the two girls

Suddendly, as if done on purpose, in the brief silence that followed, Snuffles walked out of the Watch House. He hardly would've been noticed, if he wouldn't have been walking on two legs and wouldn't be as tall as an average human (when standing, of course). A sensible person would've calmly perceived this as a mere change of proportions and would've treated the human-sized, black creature no more different than the normal stray cat.
'Meeeeaaoooouurrrwww.' said Snuffles nonchalantly and looked at the group amiably, but confused.

When Twilight saw the creature that walked out of the Watch house, she froze. Well, that was reasin enough to set her off the edge.

Not really caring who was around to see it, Twilight changed back into her cat form and, twitching like mad, dove behind Mina. Little girls always made for good protection to cats

Jeannie heard the commotion outside as she approached the door.

Walking out she saw the scene, Broc with his sword raised at the assassin from earlier, Jake looked annoyed, Twighlight hiding behind Mina because of...what in hells names was that giant cat thing?

Assessing the situation quickly Jeannie decided the cat didn't look as though it posed an immediate threat so using the grace and stealth that being a werewolf gave her she silenty crept up behind Broc, took him down with a sweep kick to the legs and neatly grabbed his sword off him before he knew what was happening. She looked down and him

"Sorry about that Broc but there are children present and attacking people with a sword is technically against the law you know, and seeing as you have resigned I can throw your ass in the cells if you try that again."

She looked around at the others "Now I've just found out I'm really lucky, 'cos I've just bagged an all expenses trip complete with danger, unknown magic and gods knows what else. if I even come back alive I may not be the right shape so if any one else wants to pis..." Jeannie rememberd the little ears that were hearing this and corrected herself at the last second "...wind me up they had better be very bloody sure of themselves!"

Taking a deep breath Jeannie tried to calm down a bit, it wasn't their fault she had been handed what sounded suspiciously like a suicide mission.

"Knowing my luck it'll be bloody Uberwald or somwhere like it" She grumbled, before sighting the large cat creature again "And what is that?"

It was strange how when he was around certain people his life seemed to happen in bursts of excitement followed by a pause and then more excitement.

"Broc, calm down you-"

He was interrupted as a large bi-pedal cat appeared in the entrance of the watch house. Despite being a wolf some of the time and a human the rest, it was still a bit of a shock to see a creature that appeared to be two things at once as though it were stuck in the middle of a shift. Once he realised his eyes were not lying to him, and more importantly that his nose wasn't he shrugged.

"Yeah sure, why not, I mean how much stranger is this than anything else?"

He said to himself.

Realising that there was a great deal to concentrate on all at once, he turned back to the no downed Broc and the rather pissed Jeannie, who no doubt would have her hackles up if she were a wolf. She stood holding the sword a fact that Jake seemed to notice very quickly and be slightly annoyed by. Looking at Broc he knew it would take the ex-zombie some time to adjust, he was human, he no longer had the strength of a zombie or the invulnerability, true he no longer felt to pieces all he time either.

"Well it looks to me like an over-sized cat standing on two feet. However, I've got to admit, I'm not used to these things happening so I might be wrong."

Turning to the Assassin he lowered his voice, although he doubted if it would stop Jeannie from hearing, he could, he could stand closer to the assassin, but the idea made his skin crawl.

"What is there in Uberwald that interests you so much?"

Of course Jeannie couldn't help but hear Jakes question to the assassin. Helping Broc back up she handed him back his sword, she doubted he would be daft enough to try anything again right now.

The cat creature was un-nerving but didn't seem to be doing anything to cause concern...unless being vastly oversized and walking on two legs could count as concerning for a black cat.

Standing still Jeannie concentrated on calming her temper, she wasn't as quick to fly off the handle as she used to be but she still had a fairly short fuse and being sent on this mission because the damn wizards were too fat and cowardly to sort out their own mess had sparked her fuse alright.

Jeannie also listened carefully to the conversation between Jake and the Assassin. Jake must have been aware that Jeannie could hear every word.

"If you really want to know, then I'll tell you" Mark leaned closer to Jake and kept his voice low, glancing at Jeannie, "One of the assassins that didn't return on that fateful night is believed to have been a spy for the King of Hersheba. I have been asked to find out what he was looking for in Uberwald, I am led to believe that the King is still searching for...whatever he is searching for."
Mark thought for a moment and then added "This is state business direct from Vetinari himself and there could be...bonuses if we are successful"

Mark looked at the cat thing. "It has a collar, why don't you se if it has a name-tag?"

Broc tried to controll his anger. but something wierd was happening.

"Are there supposed to be shooting pains going up my left arm, and chest pain, shortness of breath and- oh sh-"

And Broc dropped dead as a doughnut.

Broc opened his eyes and stared into some faces above him. Oh and he wasnt breathing.

"YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!"

Mark looked at Broc on the floor.
"You can't blame me for that one" quipped Mark and turned to the Sergeant, "I ..that is we," motioning to Jake, "Happen to be going to Uberwald, you are more than welcome to join us if that's where you are heading too"

After Jeannie left the room, Patrick could swear that the temperature dropped several degrees.

"Commander, I'm sorry to have gotten your people involved in this. I promise you I didn't know what that letter was about."

Vimes glared at him from over the top of the paper he was holding. "Just what does that box, thing, whatever do?"

"That's just the probelm sir. I have no idea really. I was given the box just lastnight and haven't had time to do any tests."

Vimes sat back and asked, "Where is it now?"

"It's right-"

Patrick bounded down the stairs four at a time landing in a heap at the bottom. Scrambling to his feet again he ran down the hall toward the front lobby of the Watch House. Seeing his bag still lying there on the floor he dove, grabbing the bag and clutching it to his chest.

" - here."

That's it! If I live through this I'm going back home and find myself a nice little farm!

Standing up, Patrick snatched up the bits of paper fluttering out of the opening. Looking out the door at the assembled goup he saw one lying on the ground, the others standing around him and a large...cat?

I think I'd faint too...

Jeannie simply shrugged in answer to the Assassin

"At the moment I have no idea where my destination is going to be, although...just hold that thought will you? I'll be right back"

She had seen the wizard leaving the building, Jeannie walked straight over to him and before the guy could even open his mouth she spoke first.

"Listen, we have to dispose of this box as far away as possible right? Well how about Uberwald? Normally I'd be the last person to suggest going there but there are enough desolate areas where this box-thing can get lost and also there just so happens to be a couple of very useful gentlemen heading that way."

Jeannie gestured over to Jake and the Assassin, who were standing a little way away

"I grew up in Uberwald and so did Jake, thats the one in the blue shirt by the way. So, between the four of us, with some local knowledge and our own individual skills we stand a better chance than if we just took a group of coppers off into the middle of nowhere."

She looked at the wizard, who still didn't look any happier than she was about this whole mission and decided to give the guy a bit of a break. This wasn't his fault, Ridcully was a hard man to refuse and the young wizard had probably been bullied into doing this. So Jeannie smiled and extended a hand

"I don't believe we've been properly introduced anyway. My name is Jeannie, and you are...?"

After a few moments, it appeared that the creature wasn't really posing as a threat to anyone. Cautiously, Twilight crawled out from behind Mina. Looking up at the six year old girl, Twilight gave her a nervous cat smile, as if to say I guess it's a little late to tell you what I am, now ain it?