AN: H-hello. This is actually 5 parts of the story... XD Merged into one because I want longer chapters. If you stalk me and find where else I'm publishing it, you'll get updates more often and you'll see illustrations for each chapter~ ;D But I doubt you can find me. In any case, this is like... A play. The guys are really guys, just dressed as girls and pretending to be girls. Um, whatever. XD Enjoy?.. Review, please.
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far from here, lived a princess. She was beautiful, smart, kind, athletic, cute and whatever other good qualities you know. She was also a good loser, a country and an invisible person. She was Canada. No one cared that he was a guy because he's an uke.
She lived with her evil step=mother, Prussia, and her meanie step-sister, Spain, who kept calling her a taco and stealing her food. Her step-mother was the evil queen and thus it was her duty to always be away invading other countries' vital regions.
Canada also had a servant who was the only real girl in the story: Hungary. She was very kind, caring and only insulted people in Hungarian so that they wouldn't get offended. And they didn't, except Prussia who got offended at everything.
Finally, Canada had a friend. It was a neighbor, a prince named America. He was a total show-off, constantly ate hamburgers, fought with his mother, refused to become one with Mother Russia, was a tad selfish and a bit crazy, but otherwise he was the nicest guy ever and Canada loved him deeply. America had a servant named China. I'm getting bored and you all know him, so let's skip to some interesting events instead.
"Why in bloody hell am I a damn woman? In a dress? I REFUSE to play this role!" a harsh voice roared. Prussia just LOVED his role. "I do NOT!"
"Uh... May... May I enter?" an ignored, hesitant voice asked sheepishly.
"NOOO! Stay-!" Commandeda hysterical shriek. Prussia tried to kill the story teller for saying this. But her reaction was late and her adorable step-daughter had already entered and stared at Prussia, who had just removed her velvet dress, refusing to take on her role. Canada blushed.
"Um..." the blond princess started, but couldn't finish her umming.
"Get out!" Prussia shouted, pushing the poor girl out of the room as a pale blush colored her cheeks too. "What goddamn blush?"
The frustrated lady pulled her dress back on and came out of the room. Canada was still standing in the corridor, perplex, hugging her bear. His bear. Its bear. Whatever.
"What in bloody hell do you want?" the step-mother glanced agressively at the young girl. A sign of tears appeared at the corners of the gentle, pure purple eyes.
"Um... Sister Spain... T-told me that you... Wanted to talk... To me?.." Canada's voice trembled.
"Now why would I-?"shrieked Prussia, forgeting that she REALLY REALLY wanted to see Canada just a while ago. "I did not-!"
Of course she did. Hopefully, at that moment, someone pushed Spain on scene to save the stupid queen.
"Mother, you were bored and you-" she started in a fakely girlish voice.
"Like hell I was! I didn't want to be in this stupid story, I wanted to sleep with-" but we never learned with whom the evil step-mother wanted to sleep with.
With a deep sigh of exasperation, the evil step-mother gave up on trying to save her manly reputation and glanced at the script.
"Riiiight. I was bored," she nodded absently at Spain. "And thus I decided that we should play a game."
Everybody stared at her incredulously. The heavy silence was interrupted by the boot that Russia threw at the woman from behind the scene.
"What kind of game, Mistress Prussia?" Hungary asked calmly.
"Mistress Prussia" got a heart-attack for getting called so. When she woke up, she fought with Hungary. No one won, at least from Prussia's opinion.
"I'll lock up Canada in a tower and we'll have fun watching that idiot America struggle to free her!" the dark-minded country declared, proud of her excellent idea.
"But..." a timid voice started to reply, interrupted by the loud approval of everyone in the room but Canada. Prussia immediately decided that "but" was a synonym for "what a great idea!" and told her step-daughter to go get her stuff. Poor Canada had to go get her pink dresses and pretend to be happy so that no one would hit her.
She also took a photo o America, her beaver hat, her canoe and a drawing of the mounted police. Carrying her heavy suitcase downstairs without complaining, she almost fell down the stairs, losing her balance.
When she arrived in the living room, she gasped silently in an ignored horror.
"Mother, there's dirt on your dress!" Canada exclaimed as she hugged the witch who had the honour of being her mom.
"Don't call me mother! I'm a man!" England cried, struggling to get out of her hug.
"Give that up," Prussia recommended in a dark voice. "The storyteller is a stubborn idi-"
Suddenly, the lamp fell on Prussia's head and England decided to give up on proving his manhood. Hungary and Spain explained the situation to the black-wigged witch while Canada cleaned her dress. Prussia was inconcious. "I'm sleeping!"
"I like that idea," said England after hearing Prussia's plan. She immediately used her magic to make a magic red bus appear and made everyone climb on it.
Prussia wanted to drive, but Hungary knocked him out for safety and declared that she would drive. Spain declared that she was too violent to drive and that the only good driver here was herself. The witch announced that it was her bus, so she should drive. They fought and knocked each other out. England won the fight, but then she tripped on the border of her black dress and knocked herself out. Before dying- uh, I mean, falling inconcious, she called her daughter to her side. Canada listened to her last words, holding her weak hand as tears flooded from her eyes.
"You... must... drive..." her mother commanded as her eyes closed slowly.
Canada couldn't drive, but she didn't have anyone to tell that to. She carefully sat on the very borderof the driver's seat, hesitating. Her frail hands trembled as she took a deep breath.
Half an hour later, Prsussia woke up. The bus had moved some 500 meters. Backwards.
"What in blue hell is this?" she shouted. Canada was driving at 1 km/h. Spain, Hungary and the witch woke up from her pointless shriek.
"You should drive slower," Spain suggested.
"You should drive faster," Hungary denied.
"You shouldn't listen to them, darling," England assured her.
"You shouldn't drive at all! Get off this seat!" Prsussia concluded, roughly kicking her step-daughter off the driver's seat and jumping on it (the seat, not Canada, unfortunately). "Ein, Zwei, Drei, Vier! Here we go!"
Even if the others didn't understand that trying to stop Prussia now would have been dangerous for their safety, they wouldn't have tried stopping the madwoman. The brutal start-Prussia decided that 300 km/h was a good speed-threw them all to the back of the bus on top of each other. Canada peered from under England's black wig, Spain was on top of Hungary, England struggled to get up, clumsily lifting her dress. The princess smiled. Maybe this would be fun after all?..