You're Not Here
Liberty Van Zandt walks across the campus of Smithdale. Her head is held high, her long curls look flawless, and her short skirt shows off her long, long legs. Every guy she walks past can't help but check her out.
And why shouldn't they?
She's young and pretty; they're young and handsome. It fits. Smithdale is a small school, but gossip never spreads fast, especially about Miss Van Zandt. Something she's very grateful for. It would be a shame if everyone knew about her past
About her dead boyfriend.
About how he died on her birthday.
About their kid.
About the fact that today is the 3-year anniversary of his death.
It's been 3 years and Liberty has tried her hardest to forget about Degrassi. Especially J.T., Emma, Manny, and Toby.
It was hard to forget about them at first. To ignore their phone calls, dinner invitations, all of it. But she stayed strong. She didn't cave or sacrifice her iron will for companionship. And sure enough, one by one, they stopped calling.
Manny first, the flaky one. The most self-absorbed of the group. Liberty figured she'd be first. They never were the greatest of friends. Manny had always saw Liberty as nothing more than an oddity. That peculiar girl who loved school and somehow managed to lure J.T. into her un-manicured claws.
Then Emma. She held on for longer than Liberty would have expected. Especially considering that pesky little incident with Damian. But everyone has their breaking point. Emma's had been Liberty's refusal to attend her wedding to Spinner the previous summer. It wasn't just her desire to break off al contact that had kept Liberty away; it was the sheer ridiculousness of their union. She and J.T. used to be considered a random couple. But compared to Emma and Spinner? Liberty can't recall them having ever had a single interaction all throughout high school.
Lastly, Toby. Her Toby. Her first true friend at Degrassi. He'd been there for it all, he'd seen her at her worst, and he'd held on till a few months prior. She remembered the end of their relationship perfectly.
"Lib, please. You know I care. I've always cared. Sometime's a bit too much. But you aren't the only part of this." he begged. His glasses-clad face was screwed-up in anguish.
"Stop. This is what I want, Toby. I can't keep holding on to you. I need to move past it. I can barely say his name as it is and being around you and Manny and Emma makes it worse." Liberty breathed, her voice so icy it even scared her. "It's been almost 2 years. I thought that by now I'd understand it, even accept it. But every time I get close to that, everything starts to remind me."
"Please. You don't need to understand it. There's no way to do that. I wish that I could, too. I loved him just as much as you did. He was my best friend. Even when he was a jerk and even when he was with you and I was jealous beyond belief, I loved him. But pushing me away isn't going to make the world as it would've been if J.T. had never lived." Toby yelled, his eyes tearing. This wasn't the Liberty he knew.
"Good-bye, Toby. We had some good times, but I have to watch out for myself now, and you aren't conducive to that." Liberty stated, her tone flat and emotionless. This was what she wanted and no one would tell her other wise. Toby shook his head, before standing up and walking out of her dorm room. As he turned her doorknob, he looked back and muttered something under his breath.
Liberty had tried to shake the memory of this from her head countless times, but she had failed. Just like she'd failed with the memories of J.T.'s mocking of her, the birth of their child and his death. They served as reminders of her past even when her old friends didn't.
That night, when she climbed into bed, Liberty did something she hadn't done in a while: reminisce.
She pulled out the one picture of herself that she liked. It was her, J.T., Emma, Manny, Toby, and a 13-year old Danny who had snuck into the shot. It was their first day of 9th grade. Liberty's heart beat sped up and ask she tucked the picture back into her drawer, she murmured one thing.
"I wish J.T. had never lived. Then I'd never have lost him."
A/N
-this is a chapter story
-Liberty is 20
- I know that this is different from the swarm of sappy EClare stories that are currently swarming the archive, but I just came up with this idea and decided to go with it.
-I like reviews, so make me smile