Author's Note: Is there no team BloodRayne? shit, she's half vampire, and she could still kick Edward's ass, and then slice it to ribbons before he hits the ground while calling him a cunt.

So here's my attempt at a BloodRayne/Twilight crossover. Don't be TOO mean in the reviews. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I in no way own the Twilight 'saga', because i'd be too fucking ashamed to admit that I wrote that basura. and I also don't own BloodRayne, because if I did, THERE'D BE A THIRD GAME OUT ALREADY, AND I WOULD'VE CHOPPED UWE BOLL'S HANDS OFF BEFORE I EVEN LET HIM MAKE A MOVIE!

That being said, Enjoy! :D

In 1912, an American teenage girl was apprehended in Europe after carving a path of destruction trying to track down and kill her biological father. The girl's name was Rayne and she claimed the people she killed, and her father who was still at large, were vampires.

Before more information was attained, the girl disappeared.

That girl is a Dhampir; a product of her human mother's rape by her vampire father. Born with powers of a vampire without all of the weaknesses, she was taken in by an underground organization calling themselves the Brimstone Society — a top-secret fraternity that hunts down and destroys supernatural threats. Agent BloodRayne, as she is now known, protects humanity from things that ordinary people shouldn't have to dealt with.

Seventy years later, after years of trying to find and kill her father, Kagan, the dhampir comes across a discovery far worse than her anything the Brimstone Society has ever encountered.

Rayne

The limbs of Beliar, minus that pathetic heart, allowed me to cross running water for a change. Even though I don't sweat or expel fluids (well, anymore), something about a nice warm bath in something that wasn't immortal blood for a change just felt right.

I enjoyed the cloudy day and took advantage of Washington's rainy atmosphere as I passed by the township of Forks, Washington, on my way to Seattle where the spawn of that rat-sucking son of a bitch was last reported.

He was my life mission. The sole reason for my existence. I am alive still today so I could see the look in his eyes when I tore him to pieces. Sir Tremaine robbed me of that opportunity years ago, but at least Kagan left behind some 'children' that need to be taken care of.

As I passed through town and up the mountains to get Kagan, my father, something out of the ordinary happened. This bright light ensnared my vision, clouding my thoughts for the time being.

"This is what I am," I heard it say. As I looked closely, slinking behind a tree limb, I realized what I had seen was impossible.

I touched the little Bluetooth device by my ear.

"Rayne to Dark Man. I have discovered something residing in the town of Forks, Washington, and it is a very weird sight."

"Description, please?"

"It's ghostly white, but it — I don't know how to say this — sparkles?"

"Photos, Rayne," Dark Man said.

I touched a little button on my bluetooth, and it took several pictures at a time.

"It's like diamonds. You're beautiful!" I heard an irritating voice say.

It was a boy? Well, I'll admit, he looked like someone you'd brag about to someone after one night in a gay bar, but nothing more.

"Who said that.?" the shirtless, shimmering boy said.

"Fuck," I muttered.

He raced to me in a speed I was familiar with. And than I thought to myself, can vampires breed with faeries as well? Wait, do faeries even exist? I mean, I encountered and massacred a horde of paternal family that came from harpies, gorgons, winged shikab, you know, all that crazy shit daddy dearest would willingly put his sad pecker in, but a faerie?

The thing tried to grab a hold of me, but like a true vampire, well, half of one anyway, I leaped above him in a somersault and readied my attached blades.

He slashed his hand at me, and I did what I did best.

Bella

I watched as this tall, statuesque, leather clad, redheaded woman with swords attached to her arms sling away at the vampire I have fallen for.

I only saw a line of blue flash briefly before I realized that this woman had cut Edward's arm off.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours," the startling woman asked him.

Rayne

The boy hissed at me.

No fangs.

I decided to return the hiss back and I felt the lateral fangs extend.

He flinched as he reached to retrieve his arm. It's weird. He didn't bleed. Maybe he was half statue?

"I'm not half anything, I'm a vampire!" he said.

"Doesn't look like it. You shimmer in the sunlight, you can cross running water without a relic inside of you, and simply my dear, you have no fangs. That's like a man without his cock, you can't call it a man now, can you?"

"I'm as much of a man as anyone else!"

"Maybe if it happened to be a Ken doll."

"So what, you're a vampire?" he asked me.

"Half. As you can see, I got a huge lot of the vampire traits from my 'father,' which reminds me," I didn't really care what he had to say, I just wanted to see if that fucking stone boy put a dent in my wonderfully sharp blade.

"Were you born or made into, I don't know, whatever the fuck you call yourself?"

Edward

This woman. I'll admit, was unlike anything I have ever seen. Like Bella, she radiated this wildly fantastic scent, the scent of life along with that faint smell that lures humans to our kind. She was strangely very beautiful, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't staring at her every curves.

"Hey fucko," she smacked me in the back of the head, "I asked you a question!"

Unlike Bella, though, she wasn't afraid of me, if anything, the bitch with the fangs and arm swords was something that struck me as curious.

"I was made into a vampire one hundre—"

"Hey, I asked you a question, I didn't ask for your damn life story."

"I was made, okay! I wasn't born, I was made vampire."

One of her well groomed eyebrows rose up as she stared at me as if I didn't know something.

"Were… did you just sparkle?" the look on her faced said it all. Not only was she annoyed, but she was way too confused for any other explanation.

"All vampires sparkle," I said.

She rolled her bright, iridescent green-blue eyes at me as the blades retracted behind her arms.

"Faerie-blood drinker hybrids, maybe. Full or human-born vampires or dhampir on the other hand, that's very unlikely."

"I am vampire!" I shouted.

"Prove it to me them. I have a few pure blooded brothers who can turn into a single bat, or if they're powerful enough, an entire swarm of them. Can you do that?"

I actually could not. Is she kidding? We're able to turn into bats?

"I guess that's a no. and I can tell you off the bat that the garlic's bullshit."

"Yeah."

"Hmm... manipulate shadows?"
"What?"

"Nevermind, you just answered it. Do you really not have fangs?"

"No."

She grew bored of me and stared directly at Bella, her sharp teeth growing.

"Mmm, you know, most vampires tend to have more than one concubine at a time, but I guess yours will just have to quench my thirst for the time being."

"Do not touch her!" I yelled out.

"What, your own personal supply?"

I stayed silent.

"Seriously," again, her vexed expressions were beginning to get on my nerves.

"You keep this one around because you like the way she smells?"

"Well, I can't just bite into her, unless I wanted to make her into a vampire."

"Oh, darling," she walked up to me, her sultry, raspy voice smooth to my ears.

"You're an idiot."

"Wait, why am I—"

"Well, for starters, you play with your food. That's a bit impolite, which brings up another subject: you don't share her with anyone, do you?"

"Well I, um—"

"And another thing. I cut off your arm a little while ago, and there wasn't even a drop of fluid in it. Can you not have sex, or what's the fucking deal here?"

"I don't quite get what you mean."

She extended a blade, gripping the handle that allowed her to swing it, and she lifted it up to where she can see it, slicing her finger against the razor sharp grain only to lap the amount of that heaven scented blood that dripped out.

"Great, not only do I amputate a faerie, but the said faerie also happens to be part Jonas brother as well."

"How the hell old are you again? One hundred and seven?"

Her face twisted in quite possibly the most beautiful smile I had ever seen, but sadly, it released the coldest laugh I have ever heard.

"God, and I thought the 40-Year Old Virgin was funny!"

Rayne

"So, why haven't you killed this one yet anyway? Her blood smells far too good to pass up."

He scowled, his parted lips revealing row after row of absolutely nothing.

I laughed.

"Aw, you're even a blood drinking virgin!"

"No I'm not. I choose to drink animal blood. It's like vegetarianism for vampires."

Did he just call drinking animal blood vegetarianism!

That's it. No can know that these things actually exist.

Now it was my turn to scowl.

My blades were by my side, and I did to him what I did to that Nazi megalomaniac Jurgen Woolf a long time ago.

Bella

She was fast, and I watched as my beloved Edward fell to bloodless pieces.

"Stop!" I yelled louder than I could.

She looked at me with iridescently glowy eyes, and they had become bright red.

She was suddenly right by my side, and she shoved the painfully sharp points of her heel into my shoulder.

I winced.

"Are there anymore of these freaks out there?" she screamed through enlarged fangs.

"He has an entire family! I don't know where they live, but they're around the city! Just get it out of me!"

Rayne

I got my heel out of her, then I ripped into her neck.

I don't normally kill the innocent, but this bitch was on my last nerve the first time she spoke.

I sucked her dry, and went into a greater blood lust.

Mmm, fuck! I need to rip some shit up!

I spun wildly with my blades extended outward, the blades meeting with the bitch as they spun wildly.

I slashed her to ribbons before her right eye had hit the ground, and that was only the beginning.

A/N- Continue?