Her friend new her too well
You've never exactly given him the benefit of the doubt, have you?
Lily of the valley
She offered
She shot back
Lily decided she fancied a walk
STARTING
Chapter One
Lily sighed as she stared at the blurred landscape outside the window her head was now gently bumping against, as she listened to her best friend drone on about her summer. The Hogwarts express was chugging along to the place she loved most. This was going to be her year. Her seventh year back, she was looking forward to a good year despite her exams, though she knew that the NEWTs were considerably more important than the OWLs. The importance of these exams had been impressed upon her since the moment she had first stepped into Hogwarts. She couldn't wait to spend the year with her two very best friends, Hayden and Molly. Yes, this year was going to be great, there was only one flaw: Potter.
It had been a stroke of luck that James Potter had not crossed Lily's path yet. Lucky for James, of course, for this year Lily would not put up with any of his teasing or flirting, or whatever it was that he did. This was her year and she would not let James potter ruin it. That arrogant, bigheaded, self-centered-
"Lily! Are you even listening to me?"
"Yeah, sorry, what?" she said offhandedly
"Well, so we snuck into my neighbors' pool and, oh Lils, it was the most…."
Lily had lost concentration again and was now absentmindedly drawing pictures in the fog left by her breath. Her mind drifted back to James, she wondered if he looked any different this year, not that he needed a change. She pictured his perfect-
"So I've decided to die my hair pink and shave my eyebrows."
"Mmm" said Lily vaguely
"I knew you weren't listening!" said an exasperated Hayden
Lily blushed, something she did quite often, and apologized "sorry I just…"
"Have something else on your mind," Hayden smirked knowingly. For some reason her best friend thought that she liked James. Lily found this theory extremely annoying and flat out denied it whenever the subject came up.
"Shut up, I'm just tired and I can't focus," she said throwing a chocolate frog box at her. Hayden giggled, "Whatevs."
Lily rolled her eyes and picked up "A Guide to Being Head Girl," an excruciatingly boring pamphlet issued by the ministry, full of useless information that was sure to be reviewed at the meeting she would attend in approximately 10 minutes time. That thought in mind, she wondered who the head boy would be and quickly checked her hair. When the clock hit 11:57, she gently pushed a sleeping Molly off her shoulder and set off to join the other Heads and Prefects.
She entered the large compartment impregnated with model students and scanned the bunch, but there was no Head Boy. Lily was perplexed, Heads were not late, was there a mistake? But James Potter had once again proved lily wrong, heads could be late. He burst through the folding doors three minutes after twelve, breathless and trying to suppress a grin. Lily groaned inwardly, this could not be happening; James was not even prefect material, what was Dumbledore playing at?
As he looked around, Lily noticed how he'd grown. He looked less like a boy and more like a man. The thought made her shiver. The shadow of stubble on his jaw and his broad shoulders made him look much older. He had also grown a couple inches, now a head taller than Lily. His hair, however, was still the same, jet-black and sticking every which way, and he still were the same stupid glasses. Oh no, he had spotted her…
She decided her best strategy was to pretend not to notice him, which proved rather difficult when he plopped down beside her. "Hello, Lily darling, fancy us working together the whole year…"
This fueled her already burning hatred for the boy sitting next to her, but at the same time gave her goose bumps as their sides touched. Abandoning the plan, she surrendered to curiosity. "How could you possibly be made head boy?" she asked incredulously as she looked him suspiciously in the eye. She immediately regretted this decision, for James Potter had the most extraordinary eyes, to match the rest of his handsome features. She blushed and turned her head to the window. James Potter had made her blush?
An hour later Lily returned to her compartment completely exhausted and famished. She was in no mood for teasing, but when her friends asked her who the Head Boy was, she had no choice but to answer…
"James" Lily stated flatly
"James POTTER?" asked Molly with disbelief.
"The one and only" Lily replied, her voice dead.
Hayden giggled, "That is hot."
Lily did not have the strength to argue or defend herself. "Save it," she grumbled as she slumped down on the soft bench. There was a pause.
"You should be more open minded," said Molly
"What do you mean by that?" asked Lily, stung.
"I just mean it's a new year, people change…"
"James Potter will never change."
Stopped
Chapter Two
She knew she was late before looking at the clock. "Shit" she thought to herself and hopped out of bed, already undressing herself and heading towards the shower. The clock read eight twenty, which left her ten minutes to get down if she wanted her schedule. Forget the shower.
"Dammit!" she cursed her friends, why hadn't they woken her up! This was just brilliant, a perfect start to her perfect year. She threw her robes on and grabbed a ponytail before splashing water on her face and brushing her teeth while brushing her hair, a skill she had mastered her first year. She finished off with deodorant and a spritz of borrowed perfume. Thinking of how horrible she would look her first day, she flew out of her dormitory and the common room and then she remembered…
"Fuck, I am so thick!" She had forgotten her Head Duties, which had started approximately 20 minutes ago. Potter would never let her forget this, unless he forgot too, it was possible, probable. She took a deep breath before entering the Great Hall, "Pull it together Lils, you can do this."
She walked confidently in, not drawing too much attention, everyone was still chatting happily about his or her summers. She found her best friends quickly, Molly's head stuck out, she kept her hair, naturally white-blonde, extremely short. However, she didn't spot James or any other of the Marauders. She sat down across from them with a sigh.
"Good Morning Lils," greeted Hayden, already eyeing a 7th year Ravenclaw.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" asked Lily, already in a bad mood
"Lily- last year when I tried to wake you up you hexed me," this was true, but Lily had not known it was Molly, still absorbed in her dream.
"That was one time, I was having a nightmare!"
Their discussion was interrupted by a rather flustered looking James Potter, sleep still fading from his face. This did not help matters with lily: he looked adorable…
"Lily-I am so sorry, I honestly forgot about head duties, but I promise-"
"JAMES!" she practically yelled "I forgot too," she confessed before he could make her feel worse and looked down at her shoes, reddening.
"Oh," said James, who could not keep the relief from his voice
When she looked back up, he was grinning ear to ear, a grin that was not at all annoying but rather playful, so it seemed to Lily.
"I'll never let you forget this!" he said, still grinning
As lily opened her mouth to retort, no longer playful, she noticed James' facial expression change dramatically. She whirled around to face Professor McGonagall, who looked positively scary. "Erm, nice to see you again professor…" she trailed off
"What's kickin' Minnie?" James said, winking. Lily cringed.
"Mr. Potter, under no circumstances will I be addressed in that manner, I am your professor and you shall treat me as such. Do you understand?"
"Mmm" replied James, looking bored and eyeing a pair of giggling fourth years over McGonagall's shoulder. Lily felt a twinge of jealousy course through her, but shook it off quickly.
"Well detention with me every Saturday until Halloween ought to improve your memory, I should think. Ms. Evans, you will join him for three weeks for missing Head Duties, if it happens again your positions will be reconsidered. You two are representing your house, I expect better in the future. Detention starts 8 o'clock Saturday morning."
And with that, she marched away. James followed without looking at lily; she knew he felt bad about getting her into trouble, when she was as much to blame as him. It was sort of sweet…
"James Potter has changed," said Hayden suggestively, bringing Lily back to the real world. Seeing her face she immediately changed her tone. "I'm sorry Lils; don't let this ruin your day. Look, we've got potions first and we still have fifteen minutes, that means lessons don't start until 9 this year," Hayden said cheerfully and offered lily a bit of buttered toast, "eat something," she added and gave her friend a warm smile. Lily couldn't help but smile back. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad day…
Potions was easy enough, Lily didn't really have to do much. Professor Slughorn droned on for most of the lesson about the importance of NEWTs and taking this year seriously. After potions was herbology, where they got a condensed version of the same speech and then started learning about gurdyroots for the project they would start next class.
Lily made sure to keep her distance from James throughout the morning, a skill she'd long mastered. Her luck ran out at lunch, when all four of the Marauders sat down across from the girls. "Hello boys," said Molly, glancing at Sirius, for whom she had long nursed a soft spot, like ever other bloody girl at this school, thought Lily bitterly. She glared at the grinning Sirius, dislike etched on every inch of her face, if he took advantage of Molly…
"Hello, Evans," said James, grinning, but there was something behind that boyish grin, was it fear?
"Potter," she said formally and quickly looked away, striking up a conversation with Hayden who was looking rather bored watching Peter Pettigrew nibble disgustingly on a piece of bread.
"You look a little flushed Lily, are you okay?" Hayden asked innocently, her mouth twitched. Lily cursed herself and turned an even deeper shade of burgundy, to match her hair.
"Shut it, or I'll tell Molly who stole her mascara," Hayden became suddenly serious.
"Fine, but this isn't over." She said jokingly
Lily rolled her eyes, still chewing.
As they got up to leave, Sirius winked at Molly. Molly smiled back, her piercing blue eyes sparkled. As much as she disliked Sirius, lily had to admit the two would be good together. Molly was not one to flirt or act girly, she was one of the most genuine people Lily knew, for this reason she was very protective of her. Lily knew, just by looking at Molly, that she liked Sirius awfully and Sirius appeared to like her the same, but she couldn't be sure.
The rest of the day went by fairly fast. In charms they jumped right into the lesson and before the end, Lily could produce a strong disillusionment charm, which she was rather proud of, along with Professor Flitwick. By the end of the lesson both Molly and Hayden were rather grouchy.
Transfiguration went the slowest, as it was the last class of the day and probably the hardest. Gryffindor shared their lesson with Slytherin, which was never enjoyable for Lily, a muggle born. Severus Snape was there who she hadn't talked to for two years, after he had callen her a mudblood. Luckily they didn't do much work, but reviewed for next lesson. She caught James looking at her twice, she glared back to cover up her blushing, he seemed a bit embarrassed; he had never been embarrassed before…
Suddenly she was very self-conscious; she hadn't done anything with her hair and wore no makeup. Lily did not think she was ugly, but she had come to the realization that she wasn't beautiful a long time ago. This fact had not bothered her; she had had her fair share of boyfriends, much to James dismay. She couldn't figure out what drew James' attraction towards her, she thought she was rather, well, ordinary.
James could have anyone he wanted, why did he want her? She even wondered if James liked her anymore, after all those years of rejection. Even if she did confess that she liked him (hypothetically of course), would he forgive her for treating him like she did, even if he was a pompous git. "Still is, for all I know," thought Lily savagely and then: "I would have to admit being wrong to James Potter…" she cringed at the thought and immediately extinguished the idea from her head.
Later:
"Hey Lils, can I borrow your pink top tomorrow?" asked Hayden, her voice muffled as she took off her sweater.
"Yeah," Lily replied, immersed in her book. She looked up at Molly coming out of the bathroom, "nice pjs"
"Thanks," said Molly, looking down at her lacy slip.
"Why the hell are you wearing that to bed," came Hayden's voice from behind.
"Oh, shut up Hayden, it's comfortable," Molly replied defensively, climbing into bed.
"Comfortable my ass, Molly, those are not meant to be comfortable." Hayden spat. Lily knew Hayden would probably wear the same thing if she had one.
"You could hardly call them pjs," Lily commented, "more like lingerie."
"Well…I like it, my aunt bought it for me"
Hayden giggled. "Imagine if your mother knew," and then more giggles.
There was a pause.
"Well, that thing might actually get some use this year." stated Hayden
Molly looked mildly offended and threw a pillow at her in response.
"What is that supposed to mean?" said Molly, half-jokingly
Lily snorted, "Molly, you know exactly what and whom she means; you just want to hear it!"
"Padfoot and you are smitten!" burst out Hayden.
Silence and then, "do you really think he likes me?"
"Of course, I caught him staring at you in Potions."
Molly looked very pleased with this new piece of information. She sighed and rolled over. With a flick of Lily's wand, the room darkened and they said goodnight.
Chapter Three
The week went by in a blur, this year was going to be more difficult than Lily had predicted. She was already weighed down with an astounding amount of homework and realized that her third detention fell on the same date as their first Hogsmeade trip. Well, there was no one to blame but herself…
On Saturday, she made sure to wake up early so she had time to make herself decent and, closing the door quietly behind her, headed for Professor McGonagall's office.
James arrived, once again, late. He looked groggy: his hair was even more rumpled than usual, his eyes were still puffy behind crooked glasses and his shirt was inside out. Lily smiled in spite of herself and quickly turned away as she felt heat creep up her neck. This did not go unnoticed by Professor McGonagall, who gave Lily a rather sympathetic look but remained silent.
"Sorry I'm late professor, I…I was doing homework." he finished lamely and took his seat beside Lily. She couldn't look at him for fear of giving away her emotions and bit her lip to stop from grinning.
"No matter, Potter, unfortunately your tardiness will not be taken so lightly in the future." Professor McGonagall warned, but her eyes were kind. "Before we discuss your punishment, I have to go over some of the duties and privileges of being a Head."
She slid two identical pieces of parchment in front of them, which provided them with a detailed schedule, a list of rules and responsibilities, and privileges…
Heads will have access to the prefect bathrooms on floors three and seven
Heads have the ability to deduct points from all students for appropriate reasons.
Heads are permitted to be out of bed until half past midnight
Heads are able to undermine prefect's decisions o f their own house.
Heads are admitted to the restricted section of the library
Lily had thought being a head was much cooler than this, which was not the least bit impressive. She looked over at James.
He had not touched his paper but was staring longingly out the window where the quidditch pitch was just visible. It was a beautiful sunny day; however, the pitch was deserted, as it was still eight in the morning. His gaze was strikingly similar to the way he stared at her, she thought to herself.
He shifted and her eyes darted to professor McGonagall, who was now turning teacups back into mice from her last lesson. After she finished, she turned to them:
"For detention, you both will be doing lines for me," she flicked her wand at the board. After four hundred sentences, you'll be released."
I must take my Head Duties seriously.
"Wands," demanded the Professor, holding out her hand.
Lily handed over her wand reluctantly, without her wand, Lily felt helpless, it was like losing an arm.
She sighed and began writing; Professor McGonagall was now turning pincushions back into toads. James turned, "race you," he challenged.
Lily rolled her eyes, but nodded.
Her neat handwriting was no match against James years of experience and chicken scratch. He finished and left with a triumphant look on his face. Lily was infuriated, not with James, but with herself for agreeing to race. And then she realized, it was just a stupid race, she needed to lighten up. She turned in her sentences quickly and proceeded out the door, turned the corner to find James, leaning against the wall.
"What are you doing?" she asked
"Waiting." stated James plainly, grinning.
Lily turned to go, James followed, she whipped around, she was now just inches from him, she could feel her heart racing.
"I thought you were waiting," she said, stepping back.
"I was waiting for you," James said, stepping forward. He scratched the back of his neck and grinned through a blush. He was very close now, it took a considerable amount of willpower not to grab him and finally run her fingers through that unruly, black hair…
"James, I don't need to be waited for and I don't need you bothering me like last year." She tore away and started to walk again.
"I don't want to bother you; I only want to be nice. Just give me a chance."
She stopped and faced him, "James- if you wanted to be my friend you wouldn't have bullied Sev and… you can't just start being nice all the sudden!"
They walked in silence for a time.
"Sev?" James asked
"Snape" mumbled Lily, reddening.
"He called you a…you know. I couldn't-"
"James, you don't need to look out for me, I can defend myself. So please, can you just leave me alone this year?" Lily cut across
James looked deep into her eyes, searching, pleading. It was almost too much for Lily to take.
"Yeah, of course." He said softly, defeated.
"Thank you," said lily, her heart aching.
They walked in silence for a minute, then "Lily?"
"Yes James?"
"I'm sorry… for anything I've ever put you through"
"I appreciate that" Lily practically whispered, surprised
"So can we start fresh?" asked James hopefully
"It's not that easy, James. Fried newts," she said entering the common room and joining her friends.
The more Lily thought about it the stupider she sounded. She had been going for mysterious. She tried to pay attention to Hayden who was babbling on about the Ravenclaw boy, but her thoughts kept wondering back to their exchange. Why had she been so cold, so guarded? She could use a friend's advice, but she pictured Hayden's smirk and Molly was, of course, wrapped up in her own love life…she would tell them later.
It had warmed up and the girls took their lunch outside by the lake. They had taken their shoes off and allowed their toes be tickled by the lapping water in content silence. They laid back, soaking in the last of the summer sunshine.
Molly sat up, "I'll meet up with you lot later?"
"Yeah, sure," Hayden didn't open her eyes
"Where'd she go?" Lily wondered a loud
"Probably off with Black,"
Lily sat up, sure enough; Molly could be spotted giggling with a nervous looking Sirius. She felt Hayden next to her.
"Do you think he's gonna make a move?"
"I dunno," Lily replied slowly, watching the two walk along the perimeter of the forbidden forest. "Probably, want to go inside?"
"Yeah, alright," Hayden agreed.
They walked back into the castle and then up to the common room.
"Let's go up to our dormitory,"
"What are you on about, Lils? I'm not doing any more bleeding homework today."
"No, it's not that, I just, I need some advice…"
"What is it?" said Hayden, now concerned
"I, erm, promise you won't laugh?" Lily was already regretting this.
"Yeah" Hayden said dismissively, realizing this was something big. "Now tell me!"
"I, I sort of, well, I mean I wouldn't say-"
"Just say it!"
"IlikePotter," Lily blurted and then took a breath.
"Hang on," said Hayden, grinning maliciously, "OUR JAMES POTTER?"
"The very same," Lily said, half impressed, half horrified at what she had just revealed. Saying out loud made it so…real.
"Well, what are you waiting for, Lils, he's mad for you!" Hayden exclaimed
Lily did not know how to respond to this…" I dunno, I guess I'm afraid…"
"Of what?" asked Hayden incredulously
"Well when it happens what if it won't be as good as I expected, or as good as he expected, or if he drops me when he gets bored-I really don't think he's changed that much, and…I dunno…"
"Who cares, he's bloody gorgeous, Lils, and he's in love with you!" Lily rolled her eyes at this, but couldn't hide her smile.
"You worry too much," Hayden added thoughtfully
"Look at that rat, it's disgusting!" exclaimed lily, retreating to the opposite corner of the room. She threw a shoe in the general direction and the rat scurried away.
"I don't think I've ever seen a rat at Hogwarts before" said Hayden shakily from Molly's bunk." And then: "I can't believe you like Potter!"
"Mmm, don't tell Molly I told you? I'll tell her when she's not so…preoccupied,"
"I won't, but make sure I'm there when you tell her. I have to get ready; I'm meeting Ben in an hour. And Lily, it might help if you stop being so bloody mean to him all the time…" and she shut the bathroom door before Lily could respond.
Assuming Ben was the Ravenclaw boy who Hayden had noticed, she yelled goodbye to Hayden through the door and decided she fancied a walk.
It was rather lonely to walk by oneself, but Lily liked it, it helped clear her head. She found it relaxing, calming. Her favorite path was down to Hagrid's cabin, then along the outskirts of the forbidden forest and around the castle until she got to the lake.
As she started down to Hagrid's, she admired the huge pumpkins that would sit in the great hall for the Halloween feast. Hagrid's head popped out from behind a larger pumpkin.
"'Lo, Lily, how was yer first week?"
"It was okay…those pumpkins are magnificent, Hagrid," Hagrid beamed with pride. Lily smiled up at him.
"Fancy a cup 'o tea?"
Lily agreed, she hadn't seen Hagrid since school started and had missed him over the summer. They chatted pleasantly for an hour or so and said goodbye.
Lily and Hagrid were friends, Lily knew Hagrid had a wonderful heart and didn't deserve the treatment given to him by some other students. He was also good to talk to, let some of her problems out.
She headed along through the outskirts of the forbidden forest, deciding to finish her walk. She loved the trees, they were bigger than she'd ever seen, some roots as tall as her. The trees on the edge of the forest bore students' initials, lily liked to read them.