A/N: Sadly, I own no one...
Bachelor Party Surprise
In less than 24 hours, Randy Orton was going to be married. He'd been engaged to be married for only a few short months to none other than Christy Hemme.
He wasn't going to kid himself. He didn't exactly love her. He figured that maybe he could grow to love her, in time. But he did want to get married, and she was conveniently available. She wasn't bad looking. She was a good catch, young and energetic. So why not?
"Whooo! Shake that thing, girl!" Randy yelled as an exotic dancer gave him a lap dance.
"Shake it like a salt shaker!" John Cena called from across the room. "You're lovin' this, aren't you, Randy?"
"You know it!" Randy laughed. "I'm so glad that I let you guys plan my bachelor party."
The bachelor party was the main reason Randy had wanted to get married. He had been to all of his friends' bachelor parties and he had longed for one of his own. His solution to his dilemma: propose to Christy Hemme, rush the wedding plans, and leave the planning of his bachelor party to John Cena, Dave Batista, Chris Jericho, and Triple H.
"The best is yet to come," John told him, sharing knowing looks with Batista, Jericho, and Triple H. They all smiled. They had a special surprise for him. And boy would he be surprised!
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door to the hotel suite.
"Allow me to get that," Jericho said, rushing over to the door. He opened it and smiled. "Hey guys, the cake is here!"
"Yes! The cake!" Triple H exclaimed, excited. "Let me help you with that."
"What are you all excited for?" Randy asked Triple H, pushing the exotic dancer away from him. "I'm not sharing my cake!"
"That's perfectly fine with us," Batista said, rushing over to help get the cake in. "Because...we...know...what's...inside," he grunted.
"That cake must have, like, five women inside if all three of you guys need to push it," Randy said, standing up. He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "I can't wait to see what pops out!"
"Can I quote you on that?" John asked, giving the other guys an amused look and stifling his laughter.
"Yeah, whatever," Randy said impatiently. "I want my cake!"
"Can we at least watch?" Jericho asked as they pushed the cake to a stop in the middle of the room. "Because I, personally, would like to see the look on your face."
"Yeah, can we watch?" Batista chimed in. "Please?"
"Sure... But I'm not sharing," Randy said greedily. "Now dim the lights and cut on some music... Let's see what's in this cake," he said, sitting down.
The others smiled at each other again. Jericho dimmed the lights and John turned on some music. The Undertaker's "Graveyard Symphony" filled the room.
"Man, I'm not feeling this music. I kicked Taker's ass at Summerslam. That chapter in my life is over," Randy said, frowning. "But whatever. What's in the cake?"
The other guys sat down to get ready for a show, still sharing that knowing look.
"Come out, come out, whoever you are!" Randy called in a singsong voice, grinning. He couldn't wait to find out who was inside!
Suddenly, the top of the cake popped off and a large, muscular figure slowly rose up. The man was dressed in all black. A hat was angled over his eyes, but he was obviously staring directly at Randy. His green eyes could not be mistaken for those of anyone else.
"Undertaker?" Randy whispered fearfully.
"Miss me?" Taker asked in a deep, low, menacing voice.
Randy shook his head quickly from side to side. "No, this can't be happening!"
"He's heeeere..." Batista said.
"The Deadman has risen from the cake!" John exclaimed in mock fear.
Jericho and Triple H laughed at the look on Randy's face.
"What'd I tell you?" Jericho asked with a laugh. "The look on his face: priceless."
"I couldn't agree more," Triple H laughed.
"Please, Mr. Undertaker, sir. Don't hurt me," Randy whispered, closing his eyes and covering his face with his hands as Taker advanced towards him. He continued tearfully, "I'm really sorry about what I did to you at Summerslam, really!"
"Guess he doesn't want your gift, Taker," John said with a shrug.
"He doesn't have a choice," Taker said. He looked down at Randy, who was curled into a defensive ball. "You coward," Taker snarled. "Stand up and face me like a man."
Randy stood up, eyes screwed tightly shut. "If you have to hit me, don't aim for my face," he said with a gulp. "I'm just too pretty."
Behind Taker's back, Jericho and Triple H silently opened the door and let in the girls they'd really gotten for Randy. The girls made their way over to Taker and started feeling on him.
"Not me, my little slaves. Him," Taker said, nodding towards Randy. He took a few steps back.
The girls moved to Randy, touching his body, caressing his face softly.
"What the hell is going on?" Randy asked, opening his eyes.
"Our master tells us you've been a naughty boy, Randy Orton," the first girl said.
"He has informed us to punish you," the second girl said. "Our master's wish is our command."
"Who's your master?" Randy asked curiously.
"I am," Taker said, arms folded across his broad chest. "And they will be punishing you tonight...in your bedroom."
Randy raised his eyebrows and Taker grinned.
"Enjoy yourself with my slaves tonight," Taker said, winking. "Because tomorrow when you say 'I do' you'll be getting your one-way ticket to hell... And I'll be waiting there to kick your ass."
Taker rolled his eyes into the back of his head. The girls led Randy into the bedroom, each girl holding one of his hands. Randy shot murderous looks at Triple H, Jericho, Batista, and John. And then the door shut.
"Great job, Taker. We owe you," Batista said, even as they heard Randy moaning from in the bedroom.
"It was the least I could do," Taker said, heading for the door. "And besides, it's going to be worth it."
"Going to be?" Jericho asked. "Wait, there's more?"
"You'll see," Taker said mysteriously before exiting the room in a hazy cloud of smoke.
"His messages are always so cryptic," Jericho said, shaking his head and coughing.
"What's he talking about?" Triple H wondered. The others shrugged, just as confused as he was.
Suddenly, an ear-splitting scream came from the bedroom.
"Aaaaaaaah!" Randy screamed. "Not there! Please not there!"
"We have been instructed to punish you by our master, Legend Killer," the first girl said.
"We cannot ignore the will of our master. You have been a very naughty boy, Randy Orton," the second girl said.
"Now you must pay." The evil laughter of the girls could be heard from inside the bedroom.
"Nooooooooo!" Randy cried. "Not the anal probe!"
Triple H, Jericho, Batista, and John looked at each other for a few seconds with wide eyes, then quickly got the hell out of there, leaving Randy to be punished by Taker's female (?) slaves...
I just couldn't resist making Randy Orton look like a wimp. I'm in the "I hate Randy Orton" mood right now... LOL! But he is really cute...