CHAPTER 1: LIVING IN 24K MAGIC NATSU POV

8 AM MONDAY: I ACCIDENTALLY ATE THE LAST FISH LAST NIGHT SO HAPPY THREW ICE WATER ON MY FACE TO WAKE ME UP. THAT CAT BEST WATCH OUT.

After effectively embarrassing Happy in front of Carla this fine morning, I walk to the guildhall in a rather preppy mood. Sure, Happy was pouting his little butt off when I left him but I'd say that's only fair considering I WOKE UP WITH HYPOTHERMIA. I DIDN'T EXPECT HAPPY TO STOOP DOWN TO GRAY'S LEVEL BUT I GUESS THAT WAS JUST TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR.

Geez you can't trust anyone these days.

I walk into the guildhall, welcomed with the rowdy atmosphere that is Fairy Tail. I decide that it's been nearly 2 hours since I consumed anything. My body was not made to be tested in such extreme manners. So I dodge the chair flying across the room (probably aimed at Macao's head) and sit my jolly self down at the bar to order a mug of ginger ale for myself and, noticing the stink-eye that Happy is sending me, a big salmon for Happy. Aww. I know. I'm so nice. I try. I

Suddenly, I feel a shiver run up my spine as the air in the guild becomes appallingly frigid. The hall becomes quiet, the air grows thin, and a dark atmosphere comes into the room. Something is very wrong. I know little miss Ice Queen is out on a job, so if it's not Gray… all my senses tense as I slowly turn around in my seat to see the source of this terror.

Oh. It's just Lucy.

OH SHIT IT'S LUCY. She's standing in the doorway with a bird's nest type of hairstyle, still in her Hello Kitty pajamas and dragon Stompeez that I'd gotten her for Christmas last year. Classy, I know. With fists on her sides and smoke shooting out of her ears, she stomps across the guildhall, her slippers making a little 'squeak' sound with every step as the dragon mouth opens and closes. I suppress the urge to smirk. WAIT A MINUTE THIS IS BAD. WHY'S SHE ANGRY? Lucy's kicks are a lot more powerful than they seem. Man, I don't know what I did, but I'd really like to go back in time and slap myself for it.

In an attempt to avoid all scenarios that end with me flying through the roof, I try to casually disregard the daggers she's shooting me as she approaches and innocently ask, "Hey Luce, what's up?"

Bad move.

"WHAT'S UP IS THAT MY LANDLADY IS A COOKIE MONSTER AND YOU ATE ALL THE COOKIES". She sat down on the stool next to me and let out a big sigh as she gulped down the rest of my drink. Sure, help yourself.

Okay before we begin, for the sake of honesty, I have to say this. I ACTUALLY HAVE LIKE A HUGE CRUSH ON LUCY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT. I think it's always kinda been there since I met her, but I didn't really acknowledge it until recently. But dang the person she is, the way she makes me feel… UGH THIS SOUNDS SO SAPPY. I just… I mean… I JUST THINK THAT SHE'S A REALLY GREAT PERSON AND SHE'S SO COOL AND NICE AND UGGHHH EMOTIONS. Great, so now that that's out of the way, we can move on!

I don't really know what to say to the cookie thing because I mean… what could you say to that? Thankfully, Mira comes to my rescue and asks from behind the bar, "What's wrong Lucy?"

Dang, there's something about bartenders that just makes it okay for them to ask anything they want to just about anyone without it being weird. Like she could've asked "Hey Lucy, would you like to drink pink ferret juice I found on the road this morning?" and it would be just as normal. I'm jealous.

"Ughhh. My landlady decided she's had enough of me and kicked me out because I haven't paid rent for the past 4 months. IT'S NOT EVEN MY FAULT THOUGH, IT'S HIS", she says, pointing her finger at me as if we were in pre-k and she were tattle-tailing to the teacher.

I mean, I probably deserve it, but I generally like to know why. "What did I do?!"

"YOU, along with Erza and Gray, caused so much damage at our last THREE jobs that we've had to PAY the people who hired US for all our destruction. All that debt means no money for rent, which means angry landlady, which leads to a sangry homeless Lucy."

I inwardly snicker at her combination of sad and angry. "Well why am I the only one getting scolded? Erza and Gray are just as destructive as I am!"

"Yah but THEY didn't go around SETTING THINGS ON FIRE just because they didn't want 'the rest of the furniture to feel left out'! IT'S A COUCH NATSU, I THINK IT'S HAPPY TO STAY OUT OF THE INFERNO."

Well how would she know, gosh.

"So where are you going to live now?" asks Mira.

"Well… the landlady said I can move back in once I've payed off all my debt, but since she's holding the place for me, she's going to charge me for the time I take to find the money as well."

Yikes, that's twisted. That's like telling Happy to catch 10 fish, but every minute he doesn't catch one, he has to catch another one. So if he didn't catch one in a minute, he suddenly has to catch 11, but then if he can't catch those, then he'll have to catch more, and soon enough he'll need to catch more fish than there are available in the lake. THERE'S NO WINNING AHH.

"She said I can stay the night, but after that, until I can pay off my rent, I'm not too sure where I'm going to go."

Erza, who gathered the situation from the .03 seconds she had been in our little circle, offers, "Well, you could come live with the rest of us at Fairy Hills, or I could lend you some money if you prefer the comfort of your own home. You could always just ride public transportation through the night."

Of course she has 15 plans ready to go in a split second. OF COURSE.

"Ahaha, Fairy Hills is waayyy more expensive than my rent, and I'd rather not owe the guild any money." She was actually right. I once snuck in there with Gray to pull a prank on Erza and DAMN THEY LIVE LIKE THEY'RE IN A BRUNO MARS SONG OR SOMETHING. They have private training rooms, fully-stocked bathrooms, suites with armoires and built-in storage, A BUFFET, and like 3 different hot tubs. THEY HAVE A CHEESE FOUNTAIN. I'm jealous again. "And no way am I BORROWING money from anyone. If I didn't even willingly accept my own father's money, there's no way in hell I'm accepting any of yours."

Lady's got a point. But I mean she still needs a place to live… oh. OH. OHOHOHOHOH. "Well why don't you just stay with me and Happy? I mean, it is technically our fault that you're in this position, and we stay over at your house all the time so we kinda owe you." That's right. Slide it in real slick. Not at all exploding on the inside right now. Smooth as silver.

She visibly considers it for a while.

WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG WOMAN I'M DYING HERE. I mean. I'm chill. Yanno, whatevs. No bigs.

Suddenly, a bright smile. "Yeah, alright!"

WOOHOOOOOOOO. HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER. THIS IS HOW WE DO IT.

9 AM TUESDAY. LUCY'S GONNA COME OVER ANY SECOND NOW. OH MY GOSH I'M SO EXCITED. I EVEN DID MY HAPPY DANCE. AHHHHHHHHHH I CAN'T WAIT.

"Sorry, I brought a few of my own things to keep here. I hope you don't mind," Lucy says as she drags one of eleventy-two suitcases in through the doorway. Yeah 'a few' was kind of the biggest understatement of the year. I peer through the doorway as I see a cart full of luggage and Lucy-stuff waiting in the walkway. It isn't too unlike Erza's honestly. How many things could she possibly need in a fully-furnished house?

"Really? Are you sure you brought enough?" I wouldn't be surprised if I saw a Batmobile pop out from under there at this point. OH MY GOD I THINK I SEE AN EASY-BAKE OVEN. Does she think we're going to eat palm-sized pizzas for dinner everyday or something?

She gives me a sideways look at my sarcasm. I give a sideways look at her luggage. "So where should I put all my- OH MY GOD. IT'S CLEAN. EVERYBODY. SHUT. UP." No one is talking. "NOBODY PANIC." She's literally the only one who's freaking out. She quickly turns to face me and gives me a serious look. "Natus… did you… did you clean?"

WELL AREN'T YOU RUDE. I WOULD SCREAM OFF MY HEAD RIGHT NOW ABOUT THE LACK OF FAITH SOCIETY HAS IN ME BUT… IT'S JUST… her staring into my eyes to see whether or not I'm sick is really screwing with my focus so I just go,"Uhm… yea….?" Ugh I'm such a moron.

She starts tearing up. IS THIS THAT BIG OF A DEAL? She collapses on the ground and proceeds to start crying buckets. DEAR LAWDY THIS WOMAN IS SO DRAMATIC. I'M NOT THAT MESSY JEEZ LOUISE. "Oh for crying out loud! Do you wanna get settled in or not?!"

"Oh. Oh yeah!" DID SHE FORGET ALREADY?

I give her a grand tour of the house, or as I like to call it, The Boom Box. It just so happened that when me and Happy got this place by winning it in a bet (Wakaba is literally the best person to gamble against ever), we bagged a guest room with it. Until now, it wasn't really clean enough to use, but HEY, YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO AND I GOTTA DO LUCY. Er. I GOTTA HELP LUCY.

I'm actually really anxious to show her mine and Happy's house. What if she thinks it's too childlike? What if she doesn't like the colour of the walls? What if there's too much blue Happy fur lying around? I THINK IT'LL BE FINE THOUGH. AS LONG AS SHE DOESN'T MAKE FUN OF MY BATMAN BEDSHEETS WE'LL BE GOOD.

"Natsu, no offense, but your bedsheets are kind of lame."

I take it back. I take everything about liking Lucy back. I have moved on in life. I will find a nice cottage in the countryside and grow old and senile there with Happy till I die.

"That's the last of it..." Quite the disheartened ending to the tour, I know. I'll need some time to get over Lucy and accept my new fate.

"Dang Natsu, you really went all out for me, huh?" she says in a teasing manner.

I feel blood rushing to my cheeks as I turn around and say, "Whatever…" COULD I BE MORE OBVIOUS. What am I doing with my life…

Thankfully she doesn't seem to take note of my utter stupidity (or at least I think she didn't) and says, "Oh hey, where's Happy?"

"Oh he's out with Carla to try to prove that he 'is, in fact, super duper cool.' Personally, I think he's overreacting. This morning could've been a lot worse if I brought up the fact that he sleeps with a stuffed toy version of Jerry so that he can 'protect him from Tom' even though he himself is a cat."

She starts smiling like an idiot. "Aww, it's the purrfect relationship!"

"Oh no."

"I don't think I like your catitude mister."

"Please stop," I beg.

"Are you pawsitive you want me to?"

"I need to get out of here."

"You could say… you need to flea."

Shit that one was actually pretty good. Pfft… fffff…. "AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA."

She grins triumphantly. DAMMIT. "Well, I'm beat. Mind if I take a shower?"

"Well it's your place just as much as it is mine from this point on. No need to ask for permission."

"LITTY". I openly cringe at her existence. I wonder how society has allowed her to exist thus far. Maybe because she's killin' the game in every aspect of life. Or maybe society wants to get her and is just doing a really sucky job at doing so.

In any case, her taking a shower is exactly what I need to recollect myself in my alone time. OH I KNOW. I'LL DRINK GINGER ALE. I don't know what it is about this drink, but I LOVE ITTTT. So fresh. So smooth. So carbonated. So gooooood. Always calms my nerves.

I guess I'm going to have to buy a lot more if Lucy's gonna live around here…

11:30 AM TUESDAY. LUCY'S BEEN IN THE SHOWER FOR LIKE HALF AN HOUR. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE TAKING SO LONG. I'VE FINISHED ENTIRE ISLANDS IN POPTROPICA IN LESS TIME. GIRLS ARE WEIRD.

WE HAVE A PROBLEM. I drank a LOT of Ginger Ale because duh, it's so great and also my nerves were really nervous about Lucy being here. She saw my batman bedsheets and didn't say anything BUT she said that the fact that me and Happy have a bunk bed is "so extra". WHATEVER SHE'S EXTRA. SEE IF I CARE ABOUT WHAT SHE SAYS. Because I do.

But the point is that I drank a lot of Gingy and now… I NEED TO PEEEEE. But my house is 3 beds and only one bath, and Lucy isn't going to be coming out anytime soon from the sounds of it. So you see the problem?

I could always just go in… the lock on the bathroom door has been broken for ages and I never really bothered fixing it since the only other person here was Happy. BUT SHE'S SHOWERING. She's in her birthday suit in there… I already get riled up enough when she's wearing her normal clothes BUT LET'S BE REAL HERE, HER NORMAL CLOTHES ARE SO REVEALING, LIKE WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? There are literally lewd men EVERYWHERE and you just know that they allllll want to do the nasty with her. I mean I guess I can't blame them because I'm not too different BUT STILL THAT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT. I'M JUST VERY PROTECTIVE OVER HER. As a friend of course.

Ugh I need to peeeee. I mean, it's not like I'll see anything… She probably has the shower curtain drawn. Unless she likes to watch herself shower in the mirror which is super weird. Although I guess if I were her, I would too. BUT THAT'S JUST ME.

But what if the curtains somehow fell? Or caught on fire? Disintegrated? I mean it's no secret that I've seen her body naked multiple times now but it's just sort of… different since I caught these "feelings" or whatever.

You know what. Fuck it. I'm going in.

I open the bathroom door to see the shower curtains pulled across. Phew. She's not weird. I hear Lucy yelp. "UHM CAN I HELP YOU?"

"Calm down, I just need to pee. It's not like you were going to come out anytime this century anyway." I hear her start to retaliate, but I guess she gave up as she sighed and continued her showering. GREAT.

Now all I have to do is focus on anything except what the curtain less than 3 feet away from me is hiding, do my business, and get out.

Except… halfway through, I realize that the shower really isn't that loud and that this is REALLY AWKWARD. She's literally LISTENING to me pee. What if she's judging me? Am I peeing too much? Maybe I'm not doing it right…? So this is all it takes for me to reconsider the way I've been using the restroom everyday for my entire life. My existence depresses me to no end.

Damn it Gingy. I should've known better than to fall for your bubbly goodness again.

Phew. Done. The moment I finish, I wash my hands (hygiene is key) and practically run out of the bathroom. Oh wait. I should flush. Duh.

I go back to quickly flush the toilet and start running ou- "EEEEEEEKKKKKK. COLD COLD COLD. DRAGNEEL, I'M GONNA KILL YOU THE MOMENT I COME OUT OF HERE."

Oh. Flush. Shower. "Heh. My bad. Sorry 'bout that." I would stick around to hear her angry rant except I GOTTA DASH.

I NEED TO CALM DOWN. Oh hey, I bet Ginger Ale will do the job. WAIT NO. NADA MAS. I rush into my room and bite the nearest object I can find till I'm sure my teeth have made an everlasting impression in it. Yes, this is a sure-fire technique of stress relief. Just grab whatever is closest and bite it realllllly hard. Highly recommended by me and all the voices in my head.

AHHHHHHHH. I JUST PEED IN FRONT OF LUCY. -ish. The entire basis of our friendship has changed. I feel it. I was better off just peeing in a bush outside…

Not to mention she just took a cold shower because of me. Funny how usually it's the other way around.

I look up from whatever the hell I just bit (oh, it's a punching bag) to see Happy, who had apparently come in through the window, perched on top of my dresser giving what I can only describe as the perverted-friend look. You know, the one that your friend gives you when you're in class and the teacher inadvertently says something dirty. It's strictly for those with their minds in the gutter and is by far the creepiest way of delivering the message "huehuehuehuehue".

"So how's your new roommate situation going, Natsu?" he says in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"Shut up…" I respond, avoiding his knowing gaze. Of course, he knows about my little 'feelings' situation with her but he's NOT AT ALL COOL ABOUT IT. He literally tells her that I like her IN FRONT OF ME. Not all villains wear creepy hairstyles.

"I still don't understand why you don't just tell her that you liiiiikke her."

"Because then SHE'LL KNOW HAPPY." And I thought I was dense. Pfft. "Tell her". What a rookie mistake. Thank Mavis that I know better.

WELP. THERE. IT'S DONE. The very first chapter. Do you like it? Do you hate it? Can I improve? Should I even continue? Pleaasseee comment your thoughts so that I can make this story more enjoyable for everyone :))) This chapter is quite short and I have lots more written, but I really need feedback to continue.

Thank youuuu