She hasn't been the same for a while. I don't really know when it all changed. I have been really wrapped up in school. Now don't get me wrong, I still pay attention to her. That would never change. But since I met her, school has become a big priority for me. I want to show her that I am smart and that I can be everything she needs me to be.
"Spencer?"
She hadn't said a word since she walked into our house almost fifteen minutes ago. She just sat on the couch farthest away from me. I knew that this couldn't be good.
"Ashley... " She trailed off. She couldn't even look at me.
"Please, just tell me whatever it is." It was more of a plea. I couldn't deal with this much longer.
She looked as if she were about to cry. The tears welding up in her eyes. "You know how I have been working on this group project for history, right?"
I just shook my head. In the pit of my stomach, I knew where this was heading.
"Well, there is this girl..." Spencer couldn't even finish. The tears engulfed her.
I was in shock. Spencer, MY Spencer! My Spencer who left Los Angeles to be with me. My Spencer who didn't go to Ohio State like her mother. My Spencer who is going to New York University. My Spencer who isn't majoring in Pre-Med, like her mom wanted. My Spencer who is majoring in Theatre.
To be honest though, I had been expecting it. I just thought it would have happened earlier in the relationship. I thought it would have happened shortly after we moved here. We were now finishing up our junior year. We have been thinking about the future and what we were going to do after we graduate. I guess that we now have put all of those plans on hold.
"So what does this mean for us?" I didn't want to hear the answer. I already knew the answer. This was my Spencer we are talking about.
"Ashley. This is the first girl that I have had any feelings for besides you." She looked at me for the first time during this and there was a look in her eyes that I have never seen before. Her bright blue eyes looked foggy and unclear. She looked incredibly lost. She wasn't sure of which step she was suppose to take next.
"What do you need from me? I am willing to give you anything you need." I looked into her eyes and silently gave her the response she needed. Even though I don't want to, I will do anything for my Spencer.
"I don't want to lose you, Ash."
"You will never lose me, even if we are only destined to be friends."
I watched her stand up and walk to the door. With one hand on the doorknob, she turned and looked back at me. "I love you and thank you for being you." She smiled at me and walked out the door. She never heard me say, "I will love you forever." And with that she was gone. That was when I shed my first tears.
They say if you love someone, let them go and if they come back, then it was truly meant to be. It is an incredibly hard to do. In the end, she will be back, because she is my Spencer.