I just had to do it.

I know you're all familar with My Immortal, thus the reason you are probably here, to get quality comedy and common sense beaten into the story that is most likely responsible for everything that is wrong with you. So here it is, My Immortal by Tara Gillesbie(?)

Seriously though is it Gillesbie? Gillespie? Ah screw it, I'm going to just call her Geppetto and be done with it.

Anyway, onto the story! *millions of fans 'bust into tears'*

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) Very clever. 2 my gf (ew not in that way) Don't you mention that you're Bisexual like half way through this monstrosity? raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Yeah you rock Raven! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! I feel sorry for Justin. MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way Ha, lack of proper brain function does sound about right. and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. And also Incest is the new 'goffick' thing!

I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England Scotland. where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). Really? I thought you were seven. I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) You know what, I had a hunch. and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. Hot Topic went international?

For example She sounds like she's writing a third grade essay... today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I'm imagining someone playing a car accident victim for Halloween. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun Because the magical weather system at Hogwarts is just that epic., which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. Probably because you look like you just escaped the morgue. I put up my middle finger at them. Grand first impression.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! No way! At Hogwarts? Get out! "What's up Draco?" I asked. And how did you know her name? Didn't she just arrive?

"Nothing." he said shyly. I'm imagining him looking at his feet and blushing all while being pelted by snow and rain, which could most likely turn into hail, just saying. But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. Her friends were the men in white coats, they took her to the padded room thus saving Hogwarts and all its students.

Oh wait, there's still more chapters. Shit.

My friend Jetisr will be chiming in on these as soon as we can catch each other what with the time differences heheh...

I feel I should make this a little bit longer, this excuse for a paragraph doesn't even fill up the whole document.

ONTO CHAPTER 2 *fans groan*