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happy birthday tash darling, here's to you; enjoy. :)
[a fairytale to be, & i'm waiting]
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I want you to push me around.
I want you to push me to the ground.
I want you to take me for granted.
He says he needs me, but then claims he doesn't want me. He tells me to leave to go, and let him be. To stop trying so hard for something that just isn't happening. His insults cut and callous. They're hard, sharp, and so perfectly aimed. But it's what I want.
I want you to pull me closer.
I want you to clutch me tight.
I want you to make this feel right.
He wraps his arms around me, enveloping me in his warmth. And I've never felt safer or more protected. Everything about the look in his eyes makes me sure this has to right, that nothing could be this good and still be wrong. I feel myself thaw out, the barriers crumbling, giving way to ease. Everything I could wish for.
I want you to tear me down and build me back up.
I want you to shove me away and then drag me nearer.
I want to be held tight and let go.
His eyes sear as they glare at me. They hold sparkles as he gazes at me intently from across the room, a gentleness to him now. His strong arms push me away. Then they pull me back in. It's like a never-ending tide. High, then low. His grasp on me is magnetic- strong and yet it's so seemingly easy to break free. But in the end I'm connected; anchored to him. Exactly where I fight to be.
I want to chase after you, and you to chase after me.
I want it to be a circle, a journey, and a climb all in one.
Half of the fun is in the race to win, the chase to catch the heart, the struggle to keep his attention. And yet the moment I get it I'm running, waiting for him to follow. I want it to be one circle, one easy rotation, around a pivotal point, for it to be never ending. I want it to be a journey, a trip taken together ending up somewhere different each time. I want a climb. A struggle to reach an unimaginable height in this all, to make the hardships endured to amount to something. All I'm desperate to be.
I want to fall.
I want you to catch me.
I want to fall so, so, so, hard into it all, into him. I want it to be all out for the win. And I want him to reach out and save me, from the things I can't. It's what I'm begging for.
Cold shoulder, heated remarks.
I want it all.
I want us, you and me, to be we.
I want for it to be on and off. For every step to be fought for, so it's worth something. I want it to be sweet and sour. Heated and icy. Loud and quiet. I want to be, exactly what him and I have always been. And so much more.
I want a fairy tale done the right way.
One that is a hot mess of a clashing cliché disaster.
The complicated tale, that everyone loves.
He's sweet, straight out of a movie sugary fluffy sweet. He's sour, snarky, never ending sarcastic lemon like personality at times. And I'm head over heels and yet not even one toe in. Together we're adorable and heart breaking, we're sigh worthy and ear plug inducing. It's all so hard, it hurts, but love is pain. And I want love.
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A/N: Inspired by "Push" -Matchbox 20 and the kind of love I've always wanted to fall into.