A/N: Hi there! (grins) Before I can once again focus on my chapter stories, I just had to get this out of my system. (smirks sheepishly)
WARNINGS: YAOI, SOME MILD LEMON, language, death… (grins) Ya know, my usual lot.
DISCLAIMER: Oh, man…! Do you honestly think I look like Kishi-kun? (starts howling with laughter)
Awkay, because I'm in a hurry and I bet you want to get on the actual story… Let's rock! (gulps) I really hope ya'll enjoy the ride.
THIS TAKES PLACE NINE YEARS AFTER THE CURRENT MANGA EVENTS.
Of Bonds and Fate
Sasuke knew, with the utmost certainty of a doomed man, that he'd made a lot of mistakes over the course of his life.
He'd abandoned his home.
He'd walked out on all bonds, torn them to shreds.
He'd spat at the face of love when it'd been offered to him.
And up until now, he'd been arrogant and perhaps stupid enough to think that he didn't care, that those things didn't matter. That his 'goal' – which, in whole truth, he'd lost long ago – weighed more than all those things he'd refused. But now, for the first time, he found himself questioning his decisions.
Because as he watched from his well-chosen hiding place, the one thing he'd dreamt of in secrecy – even unbeknownst by himself for a long time – slipped right through his fingers. Naruto was getting married. There, so near yet so far, the blond gave a tiny, clearly faked smile while watching how his wife-to-be approached.
And Sasuke felt pain, such he hadn't known even existed. Pain, and anger he knew he didn't have any right to experience.
So Naruto had finally let go and given up. He'd shattered their bond beyond repair.
Why wasn't he happy? Wasn't this what he'd been hoping for?
Looking at Naruto's somewhat tired, a little bit too pale face, he wondered if the blond remembered, if his thoughts still strayed to those nights.
Because his did, whenever he wasn't quick enough to stop it.
/ Sweat, semen, long ago dried blood, tears and dust could be smelled in the tiny, long ago abandoned cabin as shadows danced on its walls.
Naruto's naked skin shivered under his hands and eager fingertips while he explored some of the blond's most hidden parts. The young man's back arched when he found a particularly sensitive spot, and he heard a loud gasp. A couple of tears rolled down the blond's cheek, shining like diamonds in the moonlight coming from the room's broken window. What the tears were for, they'd never know.
Giving a growl – of need, of frustration, of anticipation – Sasuke thrust himself into Naruto. The blond's cry of pure bliss sounded loud and dangerous in the silence of the treacherous night.
About an hour later Sasuke just put his sword soundlessly to its hood when he heard movement from the bed behind him. He closed his eyes and grit his teeth.
Before, he'd been able to avoid this part.
"Sasuke?" Naruto's voice was sleepy, but nonetheless startled. It looked like they both knew the truth.
This would be the last time.
"In a few hours my team will leave." It wasn't asking for a permission, or an announcement. He tied his belt, then squeezed it so hard that his knuckles turned white. He couldn't help wondering why this was so damn difficult. Hadn't he left five times before during the past year?
Naruto was silent for so long that he knew to prepare himself for a storm of some sort. "What the hell are you still running for?! You killed Danzo over a year ago – the former elders are dead! Konoha… Konoha isn't the same anymore. So why can't you…?!" He hoped dearly it wasn't tears he heard. "Why can't you just stay with me? Why can't you let me love you?"
He looked towards the cabin's broken window, darted his gaze to the moon and stars. They were so bright tonight… And Naruto's presence, even Naruto inside him, wasn't enough to soothe the burning, the longing. "I made it clear a long time ago that I won't be able to be what you want me to be, Naruto." No longer 'dobe'. He grit his teeth, not looking back as he went. "We're not children anymore. You need to move on with your life. Stop living in fairytales."
He stood absolutely still for a fleeting second. Then, so abruptly that he surprised them both, he walked out of the cabin, never once looking back to see Naruto's face.
And for that one time Naruto didn't try to stop him.
There was a heartbreaking cry in the night, and he wanted to think that it was some wounded animal.
Maybe Naruto finally had enough – maybe that night managed to break something beyond repair. Because their paths never really crossed again. /
Sasuke opened his eyes he didn't remember closing to take in the view underneath him.
Sakura looked beautiful in her wedding kimono – this he admitted with great reluctance. And her very clearly showing pregnancy made her glow. She'd make Naruto happy, there was no doubt about it. She'd love him, very much.
And Naruto…
He looked towards those eyes, behind which sadness that'd never fade away lingered even under a mask of smile.
Naruto would remember how to be happy, eventually. He'd have to.
He brought a hand to his chest, where a scar Naruto had given him a long time ago lingered – it'd been given in their destined battle only hours before their first shared night, and he'd never been truly free since. Underneath the mark his heat kept beating stubbornly although it hurt, much more than it should've.
Funny. He'd thought it'd grown numb a long time ago.
As he looked down once more, he saw how Tsunade's words sealed things as fate had meant them. Naruto's heart was no longer his to be toyed with.
It was time for him, too, to take his own advice and stop living in fairytales.
While the newly wedded couple got lost into a kiss, he vanished like a shadow. There wasn't a sound, not even breath of wind.
A breaking heart doesn't make a sound. Sasuke should know.
-
Late that evening Naruto felt numb, cold and nauseous as he lay on the bed he and Sakura now shared. There was a taste of blood in his mouth no amount of water would wash away.
Through a little bit haze, he discovered Sakura entering the room. The bed dipped as she sat beside him. "Are you feeling any better?"
This time, he didn't even try to grin, only nodded and kept his eyes on the roof. Even after almost a full year of this crap, he hated people seeing him like this. "I'm fine." Which, considering his overall status, wasn't really a lie.
"That's good." After a small pause, Sakura offered a glass filled with stinking, yellowish liquid towards him. He knew far too well that the stuff would taste even worse than it looked. "Drink this – it should help."
'No, it won't!' he wanted to snap, but in the end didn't. Nothing would help, not even Kyuubi. But for the sake of Sakura's sanity he forced himself up as she helped, and passively let her force the substance into him. He shivered under the drink's horrendous taste, and wished from the bottom of his heart that he'd been somewhere else – and, little as he liked the thought, with someone else.
When he'd collapsed only hours after the last time Sasuke had walked away from him, he'd thought it was out of heartbreak. Medical inspection had quickly revealed that the reason was something much less romantic. He'd been given a little over a year, at most.
That day, although it'd almost killed him, he'd given up his search for Sasuke. He couldn't bind the Uchiha – such a wild, untamable soul – to something that was fading away. And although he wanted nothing more than to have the raven there holding him, he knew those hopes were pointless – after all, he wasn't a child anymore.
It was their destiny to travel separate paths. In this life, at very least.
With that thought he discovered that he'd finally consumed all of the horrible drink. Gently, with months of experience, Sakura helped him lay down, whispering sweet nothings to his ear. He complied, and let her wrap her arms around him.
Perhaps they weren't exactly in love like they should've been – after all, Sakura's father's command that they had to get married couldn't force them to feel such – but even after everything they were still friends. Friends who needed each other at the moment.
He wasn't the only one who'd silenced his heart that day. But maybe, one day, she'd have the chance to choose. He knew he was being cruel and unfair, but he couldn't help feeling slightly bitter. He'd never get to see Sasuke again – he'd never even see his unborn child. There was so much unfinished, unresolved, and he just wanted…
He wanted a little bit more time. Was he asking too much?
Sakura's voice surprised him. "It's okay", she whispered, gently rubbing his badly aching chest. "Dream of him if it helps, okay? Go to sleep."
He took her hand and gave it a tiny squeeze, hoping that it'd be a clear sign enough of gratitude.
In a matter of moments he felt his mind drifting into a somewhat comforting hue. Once again it took him to the days of past.
/ The cabin was suffocatingly silent as Naruto stood there, wearing his ANBU-gear. His gaze, much darker than usual, were locked to Sasuke's sleeping face.
This was his mission, his final goodbye to the only person he'd ever really loved. He'd been surprised by how easily he'd managed to sneak into the cabin without waking up the raven. Now came the hard part, and he had no idea how he'd be able to do this.
The Council, fed up with all the years Sasuke had been running around ridiculating them, had ordered him to kill Sasuke personally. They wanted blood. He'd give it to them. If he'd get caught having done this, he didn't care. What could they do to a guy who had less than eight months to live, anyway?
Using all his willpower to hold back a groan of pain in fear of waking up Sasuke, he used a kunai to make a wound to his leg. After that he pulled out a white piece of torn white fabric from his bag and stained it with red until barely any clean spots could be seen. He stared at the fabric with a grim expression, deciding that creating Sasuke's clone could wait until later.
If the Council would accept this as solid proof, then they had no right to decide Sasuke's fate.
Once he'd put the fabric away once more and taken care of the annoying wound, he got up to surprisingly shaky feet and forced himself to look at Sasuke. Quite rapidly he discovered that he'd underestimated what he'd have to do. Because nothing had ever hurt the way this did. In the end he had to close his eyes, because he just couldn't look at what he'd turn his back on.
As carefully as possible, he pressed his lips as lightly as he could to Sasuke's cheek, feeling a tremor of pleasure when the Uchiha made a tiny sound of approval. Soon enough, however, the cold took over once more.
Leaving had always been the hard part – no matter which one of them was leaving.
Not having the strength to let go completely just yet, he leaned to Sasuke's ear let his lips move without a sound. Only air whispered to the raven.
It was odd, really, that it took less than a minute to say everything necessary.
Once he was done he kept clutching to Sasuke's hand and grit his teeth so hard it hurt, several surges of pain trying to push him down at one go.
So many years of searching, hoping, praying, longing, those meetings in secrecy… And this was how it would end? Didn't they deserve more than this after everything they'd gone through? He felt cold and hollow, betrayed.
But in the end he didn't have a choice.
His hand slipped as though accidentally, and with the loss of Sasuke's touch he felt even colder than before. Once more he lifted his blurry gaze to the sleeping Uchiha's frowning face, desperately imprinting every detail. And then, in a breath, he put on his ANBU-mask and turned, soundlessly sneaking out through the broken window.
As he went, he couldn't help wondering how the night could be so chillingly quiet when there was such roaring inside his head.
That night he drank a lot more sake than he should've. The following morning he woke up beside a naked, equally shocked Sakura. Four weeks later she told him she was pregnant. /
Tears shimmered like liquid silver on Naruto's cheeks as he emitted something between a gasp and a sob. So this would be one of those harder nights…
The voice echoing inside his head startled him. 'Brat, stop that weeping', Kyuubi commanded roughly, speaking to him for the first time in years.'It's not like all hope would be lost.'
He frowned, shivering a little. 'What do you mean?' Of course he knew he shouldn't trust the demon, but he just couldn't resist the dawning hope. Who could?
'Like I said, hope isn't lost yet. I've survived this far by bending fate. Let's just say that I have my ways …'
His eyes opened and widened a little. For the first time in ages he felt hope.
-
Less than twenty-four hours later Naruto drifted into a coma. Two nights later his broken heart gained forever rest. And Sasuke felt a violent tug in his as he lay in a bed beside Suigetsu, his haunted gaze locked to the shadows on the room's walls.
It was the first time since the aftermath of Itachi's death Sasuke cried.
-
Almost seven months later, Sakura discovered that a single white lily had appeared mysteriously to Naruto's grave. On the ground below it she saw red droplets that looked far too much like tears of blood.
-
"I'm so sorry I couldn't bring you back, Sasuke. But this isn't the end, believe it – I swear I'll find you one day, no matter how many lifetimes it takes. I love you more than anything."
-
Tokyo, October 2009
-
Amongst all his friends in the university, twenty-two years old Naruto Uzumaki was known for his habit of being late from absolutely everywhere. A half-joking legend amongst them stated that he'd even been born twelve days late.
That day, Naruto cussed loudly as he watched a local buss he was supposed to be in speeding away into the horizon. "Damn it…!" Professor Hatake was going to hang him for this.
In the end he decided that there was no real point in brooding his impending doom. With that thought he turned on his heels, heading to a café on the other side of the street.
A young waitress named Sakura gave him a meaningful glance. "I told you you'd be late."
He gave her a near-glare. "No one likes people who say 'Told you so'." He then groaned. "Give me a coffee, will you? My head's killing me."
She rolled her eyes when all but shoving the coffee to him. "It should be, with how much you had to drink last night." She then noticed something behind him, and arched a delicate eyebrow. "Well how about that."
Curious as always, he turned – too fast. The coffee slipped from his grasp, spilling all over his other hand. He gave a yelp, the swore loudly for the sake of ache and damaged pride.
So focused on the burning sensation he was, that he jumped on his seat when someone took his hand rather roughly. The touch made him shiver with pleasure. "Show me that hand, idiot." When he was hesitant, there was a growl. "I'm studying to become a doctor – I'm not going to rip your hand off. So let me take a look."
All of a sudden his heart started beating in a foreign rhythm, and his mouth went dry.
That voice… It was just too familiar…
Cautiously, as though he'd been afraid, he lifted his gaze to meet a man of about his age. Somehow it felt like the world around him stilled when he met a pair of stormy onyx pools and wild raven locks.
His eyes widened to the size of saucers while his blood first stilled, then started rushing so that he heard the humming sound. He felt so dizzy that it was a miracle he didn't pass out there and then. "Sasuke…!" He didn't bother asking himself how he knew, how this was all possible. Perhaps he was going out of his mind.
The boy quirked an eyebrow. "Do I know you?"
At that moment his body chose to take all control. Before the raven could utter a word of protest he'd wrapped his arms around the other male, pulling the man into a tight, tender embrace. For some ridiculous reason he was shivering violently and close to tears as he held on tight, like fearing the other would suddenly disappear.
At some point the raven started hugging him back a lot more loosely. And Naruto felt like he'd woken up from a long, dark dream.
Outside a gentle breeze of wind blew, almost like blessing the reunion.
Owari
A/N: (sniffs) Well… At least they got the chance to meet again, ne? (wipes eyes)
Soooo…. (gulps) How was that – any good, at all? PLEASE, leave a review to let me know if I should delete this or not – you must know how much your opinion means to me! (gives puppy's eyes)
Awkay, I'm in a huge hurry so I better get going. (winces)
Thank you so much for reading this!
Take care!
