Sarcasm by Osmosis
an SG-1 Dialog
"Today's mission was uneventful."
"Uneventful in that no Goa'ulds tried to kill us, Teal'c means. Which I view as a good thing, by the way."
"I agree with Jack. I'd rather visit a completely uninhabited planet with no signs of life whatsoever than be chased around by Goa'uld all day."
"Thank you for your opinion, Dr. Jackson."
"Um, General Hammond - I can't help but feel this mission was a waste of time. I mean, we didn't even find anything useful to help fight against the Goa'uld."
"Like I said, Carter, better than running into the Goa'uld themselves."
"Yes, sir, but-"
"I had fun."
"We noticed, Daniel."
"It was exciting."
"No it wasn't."
"You're right. It wasn't. It wasn't very much fun, either. I was sneezing the whole time."
"We noticed. I almost shot you when you wouldn't stop."
"Gentlemen!"
"Sorry, General. It's just...there's not really much to report."
"Sure there is. We had a picnic."
"Daniel!"
"Well, we did."
"If you consider week-old rations and water a picnic, sure."
"It was nice."
"No it wasn't."
"You're right, it wasn't. I was just being sarcastic."
"Since when was it your job to be sarcastic, Dan? That's my job. I'm the sarcastic Colonel here, not you."
"I know, Jack, but...it rubs off."
"Sarcasm by osmosis?"
"Exactly."
"Teal'c, you're oddly silent."
"I have nothing to say, General Hammond."
"It appears your teammates don't, either. Nothing particularly relevant, anyway."
"Sorry, sir. It's just...well...the mission was pretty boring."
"Then why were you gone for over seventeen hours, Major Carter?"
"Um..."
"Well, sir..."
"It was..."
"Pink, sir."
"Pink?"
"Didn't you see the telemetry from the M.A.L.P.? Everything was pink."
"So we decided to stay awhile. Look around."
"Completely uninhabited, sir, but...it was pink."
"A most unsavory colour."
"I like pink, Teal'c."
"Colonel, I never suspected."
"Shut up, Daniel."
"Even the water was pink! It was amazing. The plants, everything. It was as if the chlorophyll in the plants - assuming, of course, that it was chlorophyll, it mightn't have been considering chlorophyll is usually green-"
"Oh, for crying out loud, Carter. We don't need another of your scientific lectures."
"Sorry, sir."
"SG-1, I'm ordering you to report to the infirmary. After that, I'll expect your written reports by tomorrow. Dismissed."
"I think we annoyed him."
"We always annoy General Hammond, Carter."
"Of course. It's what we do best, isn't it, Jack?"
"Shut up, Daniel."
"Will you stop telling me to shut up?"
"Shut up, Daniel."
"Fine."
"Sarcasm by osmosis. Hmph."