[For some it may be a beautiful day. But for others..not so much...]
[Yoruichi is sitting on the couch with an angry look on her face]
Ichigo: Hey Catwoman. What`s crackin`?
Yoruichi: Your dick if you don`t get out of my face..
Ichigo: Geez. Looks like somebody`s in a bad mood. (Walks away)
Yoruichi: Yeah that`s right. Walk away, assface! (Reads paper) This day sucks...
Yammamoto: (Walks by) Why so quiet, Yoruichi? Cat got your tounge this time? (Laughs)
Yoruichi: That joke wasn`t funny then and it`s not funny now. So why don`t you just leave me alone and go take your spongebath, old bag.
Yammamoto: Wow. She must really be in a bad mood. Propably her time of the month.
Yoruichi: Get lost you scumbag! And it`s not my time of the month you freak!
Yammamoto: Whatever you say. (Walks away)
[Kisuke, Rukia and Rangiku walk by and sit on the couch]
Kisuke: Hey sweetheart.
Yoruichi: Eat dirt and die, trash.
Kisuke: Wow. What`s wrong, Kitty Cat?
Yoruichi: Leave me alone!
Rukia: Oh man. I can`t believe the newest Yaoi magazines are sold out already. This is soo not my day.
Rangiku: I am so sad.
Yoruichi: Oh get over yourself. You`re not the only Yaoi lovers out there waiting for new magazines so you can get them all for yourself, ya know.
Rangiku: Yeah, but it`s so sad.
Yoruichi: Oh boo-hoo. Get over it. Life sucks sometimes.
Rukia: Hey you seem upset.
Yoruichi: Really? I had no idea.
Rangiku: Is it your time of the month?
Yoruichi: I`m not upset and it sure the hell ain`t my time of the month!
Rukia: Then why are you yelling at everyone?
Yoruichi: No reason. I just feel like yelling today if that`s okay! And stop asking me if it`s my time of the month! Can you do that? Can you do that? Can you do that for me please? Thank you! (Flash steps outside)
Kisuke: Damn. I`ve never seen her this upset over nothing.
Rukia: Yeah, me neither.
Rangiku: Well there`s obviously something going on. Let`s go find out what it is, Rukia.
Rukia: Are you crazy? I`m not going anywhere near her until I know it`s safe. I mean let`s face it, at this rate she`s like a bomb that will explode at anyone at any moment.
Rangiku: NOW!
Rukia: Okay fine. Let`s get this over with. Just don`t blame me if she blows us up.
Yoruichi: (Stares at the sky) Hmm...
Rukia: There you are!
Rangiku: Damn, girl. You are hard to find.
Yoruichi: (Is sitting in the grass) Only when I don`t want to be found. So what brings you here today?
Rukia: Our legs.
Rangiku: Hehe.
Yoruichi: Wow. That`s very obvious...
Rukia: So what`s wrong with you today? You sure it`s not your time of the month?
Yoruichi: YES! I already told you. Besides, it`s worse than that.
Rangiku (Sits on the grass and accidently sits on a thorn) OUW, thorn thorn thorn! (Jumps up) Ouw. That freakin` stung!
Rukia: I can imagine how that felt. Anyways, Yoruichi what`s really going on?
Yoruichi: I`m pregnant.
Rukia and Rangiku: WHAAAT?
Yoruichi: Relax, I`m just joking around. (Laughs) You should`ve see the look on your faces.
Rangiku: Not funny. Tell us why you`re so angry today.
Yoruichi: Fine. But you gotta admit, that was pretty darn funny. (Laughs)
[Rukia and Rangiku stare at her with a serious face]
Yoruichi: Okay okay. Well...I`m in a bad mood because someone stole all my Yaoi magazines.
Rukia: Oh my god that`s awful!
Rangiku: Can you imagine if I woke up one morning and found out that my Yaoi magazines were stolen?
Rukia: The world would come to an end. (Grins)
Rangiku: Damn right it would.
Rukia: I was only kidding. Would you really do such a thing?
Rangiku: Hell yeah!
Yoruichi: I just want to know who took them...
Rangiku: It has to be a boy.
Rukia: Why is that?
Rangiku: Helloo? Boys hate Yaoi, remember?
Yoruichi: Not all boys. Gin sure does seem to love Yaoi.
Rangiku: Okay, besides Gin then.
Rukia: There`s only one way to find out who did it. Tie `em up on a chair and force them to watch the hottest of the hottest Yaoi videos until they go completely crazy. Like we did last time with Byakuya.
Rangiku: Yeah, I had fun that day. After that we were chasing Yammamoto with sticks and then his pants fell off. (Laughs) Good day.
Yoruichi: Alright girls. Let`s do this for our right to Yaoi!
[At the boy`s hangout room]
Yoruichi: Alright you furballs, who stole my Yaoi magazines?
Gin: (Is sitting next to Ichigo on the couch) Oh my. Someone stole your Yaoi magazines? That is not very nice. I want to help look too.
Ichigo: Oh please. Who would want to steal your Yaoi magazines?
Yoruichi: And I suppose you didn`t steal them, huh.
Ichigo: That`s all I`m sayin`. (Lays on the couch)
Gin: Oh you are a good boy then.
Ichigo: Yup.
Rukia: Wow. I never saw that coming.
Rangiku: If Ichigo didn`t do it, then who did?
Yoruichi: Sounds like a weird mysterie to me. Oh well sorry we interrupted your romance boys. Carry on.
[The girls walks out]
Ichigo: Romance? What romance?
GinL (Lays on Ichigo and puts his hand on his chest) You tell me. (Gigles)
Ichigo: Crap.
[The girls walk passed Byakuya]
Byakuya: Yoruichi, I can sense that there is something troubling you. What is it?
Yoruichi: Some asshole stole my Yaoi magazines.
Byakuya: Yoruichi, I AM that asshole. Wait that didn`t sound right.
Rukia: So you were the asshole who stole her magazines.
Rangiku: Why, asshole? Why?
Byakuya: Please stop using that word. I have a very good explanation. Well actualy, two explanations. 1: They were not stolen, they were taken. Wich is a whole different story. And 2: Yammamoto ordered me to take them.
Rukia: What for?
Byakuya: He thinks you girls are scaring away the guests with it.
Rukia: What guests?
Byakuya: How should I know? He`s the one with these stupid thoughts in his head, not me.
Yoruichi: That old trash bag thinks he can steal my Yaoi magazines and get away with it? He is soo gonna get his A double S kicked! Let`s go!
Rangiku: You could`ve just said ass.
Yoruichi: (Kicks the door open) Old man we gotta talk.
Yammamoto: I`m sorry but I don`t have the time. Come again tomorrow.
Yoruichi: NOW!
Yammamoto: On second thought, I change my mind. So what brings you here today?
Yoruichi: My two legs and my "missing" Yaoi magazines. Where are they?
Yammamoto: Oh your magazines are here with me.
Rangiku: That`s nice, but what are they doing there?
Yammamoto: I didn`t think you would mind if I read them...
Rukia: You son of a-what?
Yoruichi: You were reading them? Why did you ask Byakuya to take them then?
Yammamoto: Let`s face it, these old legs I have don`t exactly move so fast anmyore.
Rangiku: Damn right they don`t. You should really feel good about yourself.
Byakuya: Well this was a complete waste of my time. I thought he was gonna burn `em or something.
Yoruichi: Soo what do you think, Sir?
Yammamoto: I can see now what I couldn`t see before.
Rangiku: That`s because you`re wearing eye contacts now.
Yammamoto: True.
Byakuya: He should`ve just burned them all...
[Rukia kicks him in the nuts]
Byakuya: But I`ve been wrong before. (Falls on the floor in pain)
Rukia: Yup, you have. (Smiles)
[Everyone is laughing at Byakuya]
[The unexpected has happened. Yammamoto is now officially a rookie Yaoi lover]
The End