This fic was inspired by a fanart gifted to me by someone on Tumblr for my Ventrobi blog (and the artist is a diehard Obitine shipper to boot!). If you want to see it, message me or leave a comment in a review and I'll link you to it. It made me all warm and fuzzy inside to know that someone took the time to make me something, especially someone from another ship 3
Dantooine nights were usually so peaceful, so calming. That was why so many of its residents took up stargazing as a hobby as soon as the sun set. But that serenity was nowhere to be found tonight, not for one particular being. She should have been fast asleep, or at least enjoying the warmth of her lover wrapped around her. Instead, her mind was swirling with troubling thoughts while she stared at the ceiling.
How long would this war drag on? How long did she have to keep playing the devoted servant to the Sith? How much longer did she and the man at her side have to hide their love behind false contempt and condescending insults? Most importantly, how much longer could they conceal their true feelings before they were discovered by either her Sith Masters or his Jedi brethren?
The ceiling was absolutely no help in providing answers. She carefully extricated herself from her lover's tight embrace, not wanting to wake him unnecessarily. She found a loose shirt to throw on against the chilly breeze and stood at the large window that overlooked the shoreline. Normally the churn of the rolling waves was enough to calm her nerves, but not tonight. Tonight, the crash of the waves was too close to the sound of starfighters and freighters exploding and burning. Too close to the sound of lightsabers running through soft flesh.
She closed her eyes against the sudden onslaught of memories she'd rather throw away. They had no right to intrude on her now, not in this place that belonged only to her and her lover. Her fingernails dug into her arms as she tried to force them away; only then did she notice that she was shaking.
"Asajj?" a sleep-heavy voice called through the darkness. It was enough, thankfully, to bring her back to the present. She dropped her hands to her sides as she turned back to the bed. Obi-Wan, propped up on one arm and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, looked breathtaking in the moonlight that streamed through the window, mussed hair and all. Looking at him now helped chase away the majority of her worry…but not all. "What's wrong, darling?"
Asajj gave him a small smile. "I was just thinking."
"At this hour?"
"The mind doesn't like to wait when it has something to say."
He chuckled, the laugh still thick with sleep. "You don't have to tell me that, Sajji." She smiled at the nickname; she'd hated it when he'd first used it, but she'd learned to adore it over time. It was something just for her, something no one could ever take away from her. She was hypnotized as he stood and approached her. Even when she thought she'd hated him she couldn't deny the unconscious grace in his every movement. She was almost jealous. He returned her smile, slightly more awake now, and raised his hands to her shoulders. "What's on your mind?" When she didn't answer, instead averting her gaze outside, he grew concerned. He ran his hands down her arms, then back up in an attempt to soothe her. "You know you can tell me anything, my sweet."
"I know," she whispered, more to herself than to him. But she kept quiet.
Obi-Wan pulled her against him, her back to his chest, and wrapped his arms around her thin frame. "Asajj, tell me. What's wrong?"
She tried to lean back further into his heat, her eyes closing briefly in contentment. He pressed a gentle kiss into her exposed throat when she tilted her head back to his shoulder. "I'm tired," she said through a deep exhale.
His lips brushed her earlobe when he replied, "Then come back to bed."
"Tempting, but not what I mean." She fixed her gaze on the half moon to gather her courage; admitting her dwindling strength in this game was a heavy blow to her pride. But she couldn't keep the truth hidden from him for ling. He did have the annoying gift of perception. "I'm tired of everything. Having to hide, having to keep fighting, the war. I don't know if I can make another lightsaber battle with you believable." She glanced down at his wrist. Her fingers absently traced the burn scar she had put there weeks ago. "I don't like hurting you like that, Obi-Wan."
His chest pressed against her back as he inhaled deeply. "I know. I know, Sajji." He tightened his embrace. "But what choice do we have? We have only til the end of the war and we can stop hiding."
"And how much longer will that be? How much longer will this bloodshed drag on before either side says 'enough'?"
"Asajj," he sighed, turning her to face him directly. "It's only a little while longer. I know how hard it is for you, my darling. For me, too. I don't like having to keep up the farce either. Especially having to listen to what Anakin says about you."
"You think I care what the Skywalker brat thinks of me?" The thought is almost laughable, but his concern for her honor, what little remained, was more touching than absurd. She brushed a stray piece of hair from his face before enveloping him in her arms. "I just want all this to be over. I want my life back from Dooku and Sidious. I want to be able to touch you without everyone thinking I'm trying to put a vibroblade in your back. But that can't happen unless this war ends and the Jedi stop treating physical affection like some great sin."
"Shhh," he breathed as her temper began to rise. He pressed a kiss to her forehead until it smoothed over, her anger receding at his touch. "One thing at a time, darling. Let's see this conflict finished first, then we'll deal with the rest."
"And I suppose you know just how to do that?" She meant to sound teasing, but it just came out pained. Unless Yoda got struck by lightning and changed his tune, the non-attachment order would stand until the end of time.
"I have an idea," was all he said, his eyes fixed on her shoulder.
"And what would that be, Kenobi? Kill Yoda, take his place as Grand Master, and lift the ban yourself? Get kicked out? Leave the Order?" His gaze snapped up to lock on hers, his blue eyes seeming to bore into her soul. She froze. "Obi-Wan…"
"I don't know, darling. I will admit that the thought has been crossing my mind more often lately…"
"No."
He reeled back as if he'd been hit. "I'm sorry?"
"If you leave the Order for me, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. I already have a lot to answer for, but I'll not bear that burden as well."
"Asajj!"
"You will hate me forever, Obi-Wan," she pleaded. Couldn't he see that his place was among the Jedi, much as she hated to admit it? Why was he suggesting that she was more important than all the good he could do from within the Order? "I can't bear that."
Obi-Wan straightened, taking her face in his hands and fixing her with a hard stare. "First of all, I've not decided anything yet. I just said it was a thought. And second of all, I can assure you that no matter what I will never blame you for my choices. And you shouldn't blame yourself for them either. We'll finish the war first and go from there. Alright?"
She wanted to argue, even opened her mouth to do so, but the intensity in his crystalline eyes and the gentle stroke of his thumbs on her cheeks made her swallow her rebuttal. A deep breath, a frustrated sigh, and she let the matter drop. "Fine. Fine," she said, deliberately softening her voice.
He smiled. "Good." Her lips parted under his when he leaned in, her gentle gasp filling his mouth. It was meant to be a quick kiss of reassurance, but when her tongue curled around his it became something more. She groaned when the fabric of her shirt kept her from fully enjoying the feel of his calloused palms on her body. He seemed to read her mind; one pass of his hands from her thighs up her sides had the material flung across the room and her supple flesh once more at his mercy. "Now that that's settled," he said between breaths, "will you come back to bed, my sweet Sajji?"
She gave him a wicked smile, similar to the one she usually gave him on the battlefield, but this one brimming with unabashed lust. "I may need a bit more convincing, my love." Whatever she thought he might have said or done in response, sweeping her into his arms and carrying her to the bed certainly wasn't on her short list of possibilities.
As soon as he lay down on the mattress she took her opportunity to surprise him. A quick twist of her hops had her straddling his thighs to pin him in place. She drank in his sighs as she trailed kisses down his throat and past his collarbone. Apparently, he thought that this was all the vengeance she had in store. Oh, how little he knew her. When he was suitably distracted, she closed her teeth around his nipple and bit down. Hard. "Ouch!" He stared at her with wide eyes, caught off-guard by the attack. "What was that for?"
Asajj grinned up at him as she soothed the bite with languid strokes of her tongue. "I. Hate. Being. Carried."
Obi-Wan laughed as he gathered his lover in his arms. "I'll try to remember that in the future, Sajji."
She traced his lips with a forefinger and chuckled when he tried to capture the digit. She snatched it away just to torment him. "You'd better."
"As you wish, my love." With that, he drew the blanket over them both, her head resting on his chest. They only had a few short hours to forget the outside world until the sun rose. When dawn broke they would have to leave their sanctuary and fall back into their roles. But for now, with her breath wafting across his chest and his heart beating steadily against her ear, they drifted into a sound sleep and made pretend their love was the only thing in the universe.