Bye: Elfen Lied
Her mind contemplated if she really could see herself not killing anyone for a life time ahead....she thought of how she had grown use to not considering it anything of a problem, that was until she realised that if she wanted to be left in peace, if she wanted to live a life where somehow her kind and humans weren't trying to kill one another for the sake of evolutionary stance, she would need to stop herself killing anybody for life. Sadly for her this was a problem that nothing could solve easily. She imagined going to counselling and it ending with her ripping apart everybody in the waiting room, she imagined trying to take out her yearning to kill through positive method of productive use of her vectors....the only outcome for that would be to become a mercenary and that would only fuel her killing. If she was ever going to do anything it was to stop killing people and this was a promise she wished to a extent she hadn't promise Kohta so precisely that she would not kill as long as she lived under the Inn's roof; A smile came out to play on how she could just leave go back to her old ways....but her old ways involved moving about and she had grown tired of constantly moving to evade being captured....the situation was a stalemate one had presented her with a route that was clear while the other though foggy presented itself as much more attractive alternative to the former. All she had to do was stop killing people.
"I could kill till I was the last one standing" Staring blindly to the ceiling deeper in thought alone in the silence of the empty Inn that she and her alone was now looking after for the next two weeks as Kohta, Yuka, Mayu and even Nana were gone....thing had happened and now the four of them were off travelling for another two weeks.....she had or more precisely Nyu had said they would lose out on the trip to let Nana and Mayu enjoy places they had never been to; Nana had felt she had been tricked into feeling guilty while all Nyu could say was that she didn't mind....after all deep down she had seen the world more than enough to know that she rather be alone within the safety of the Inn then be out seeing the world she actually despised for so many pure and simple reasons.....so pure in reason so simple in existence that they made sense to Lucy.....Lucy had since been hiding within the deep depths of Nyu waiting till Kohta, Yuka, Mayu and again even her own kind Nana to leave. All thinking she was gone, all thinking to be nothing but memory...but Lucy had grown as she hid to think of the promise made and up to now kept; but with all things it was breaking apart....she had seen someone outside and felt a streak to rip them apart....Sadly the receiving end of this pent anger or pure hate of humans ended on a build blowing up mid flight to land on the same person; after all she had promised not to kill people not animals....but remembering how Wanta was Mayu closes friend "*Laugh*" Lucy couldn't help but laugh out to how a girl saw a dumb animal as a friend a pathetic lonely animal that couldn't speak to tell her to fuck off; Lucy always imagined that was how Wanta felt....but it was just a thought that would never be proved or disproved.
The afternoon sun shone through in through the doors leading out into the enclosed garden that Lucy looked out to with the thought of how she could kill Wanta with one swipe, but remembering how Wanta even though a dumb animal would bring her Kohta anger even when the promise was for people not animals; he would probably shout at her about how he thought that went unsaid. "I could and then what...go back to the old ways?" She was tempted to ask Nyu who slept away in her mind this question but she couldn't bring herself to ask the idiot who now attended school was far below her in terms of accumulated wisdom of how the world really worked. "I could just go for it now" Her vectors practically begged her to move even with her in control sometimes they felt like they had a mind of their own growing. "They're my vents" Lucy came to the conclusion that deeper and further down in the darkness of her mind she was letting go of the frustration building up and letting it manifest itself as another mind; a mind that would never reach a level of control as she and Nyu had but enough to show its presences within her vectors.
"I could leave now....I could leave to kill without the worry of Kohta....to bad somehow he's in control of me" Lucy also felt that whenever she thought of leaving the thought of Kohta made her stop it and try to focus.....he was in control just not as a driver and more of the idiot sleeping at the wheel unaware of the chaos he brings to the other drivers. "Fuck it really" Amusement came when she reached out a vector to push the door closed; the eeriness of it would probably put Mayu into shock from how smooth and seamless it happened. "The lesbian in the making" She had seen or peered at how Mayu spent more and more time with Nana who in turn grew closer to her as a friend.....she had found herself almost rooting for them to admit the feelings that were blossoming. "I'm letting myself watch a human try to get with my kind" She felt slightly sick on the idea near the surface of her mind; but it gave her a streak of sincere care that if they could fall in love regardless of what Nana was.....somehow she wanted her generation to be the only ones to suffer so much with the next being able to enjoy something she could never have or experience. "Fucking hate this!" She etched at her face feeling it build till she wanted to rip out the place and destroy downtown Tokyo Godzilla style; was it getting to her this much that she fantasised of what other uses vectors had other then the already well known killing use. "Win bets" She spoke slyly on how she could go out rig a game or two and win by simply......she stopped the moment the fantasise went red.
"Killing" She smiled amused that even in the realm of her mind she somehow ended up killing a building load of people without objection from Nyu. "I'm a fucking lunatic mess ready to explode any second" She took on how she could kill and she took on that she might be insane.....she took on this that allowed her to conclude she wasn't that insane if she could acknowledge that she was so easily. "Insane or just someone who's mind is broken up enough to see it all inside and out at every angle to see something that isn't seen one way but is from another?" She questioned whether her pet dog being killed really was the point she was destined to be who she was or if it was inevitable and just needed another trigger to be pulled.....was everything life a planned set of events or was it all chance playing with or even....she felt amused to think that it could be both playing out entwining each other in ideas of how the world should work....was it that? One simple set of events where chance plays between the points that are important? Was that simple to think the universe was governed by chaotic order or controlled chaos....was that hard to imagine such an idea as that to be the reason for her life up to now.
"Fuck no" But logically that wasn't the case as Lucy knew everything was simply chance. "All of it chance" It was chance she was born like this, it was chance that brought her to meeting Kohta....it was sad chance had lead her to killing his father and sister in the moment of madness....it was cruel chance that she became something humans feared while also becoming something inhuman herself. "No good or evil for me to side with" Even in her life she always knew that if she tagged as evil it couldn't work when she considered what had made into a twisted mindset. "Nyu you're lucky only know kindness for your whole existence" All the time to think and now she felt jealous of Nyu who couldn't even be able to take in just how much the world could make one suffer out of fear. "They shoot me dead if they had the chance" The end result of a year ago had brought her to very edge of death with the only thing that saved her was dragging her body into the ocean to wash away to somewhere else.....the oddness she felt at how she was moving but still moving at the same time, stuck in a limbo type state where.....where she could've sworn she cried out at someone holding her in comfort her. "I never cry" The thought of that moment for her felt painful to even consider it was something more who held her.....with the words "Retake what you lost" the words simple but they were enough for her to take on; to find herself on a beach feeling events replay themselves as she stood completely healthy no bullet wounds digging through her flesh and even more disturbing her horns were back.
Two months spent living a simple life let her think before she finally decided on returning....returning to the only place she could call a home....The Inn was her home and Kohta was the reason she went back. "Nana thought I was a ghost back to scare her, Mayu only say hello and said to see I was back, Yuka held onto Kohta hand....he had actually moved on from me and him.....he didn't utter a word to me for over two weeks" Two weeks that she saw him show affection for Yuka, two weeks that Nana jumped whenever she appeared, Mayu remained unaware of what had taken place and Kohta who just avoided her without a hello or even giving his reasons to her.....she took it as payback....payback for killing his family....it didn't seem right to think that payback from him was something worse....to have someone so close keep away even within a metre of each other.....it couldn't be enough in life time for him to never speak to her.....it would never be enough for her to know that the only thing he could do was never speak to her. "The entire balance of the universe is I kill and all he can do just never speak to me.....how is that fair to him?" She imagined what he could be like if he was one of her kind.....he would probably rip apart keeping her alive till the very last breath. "I would never blame him if that was case" But two weeks of silences ended when he finally asked her.
"Never kill anyone again Lucy" Lucy on returning to the Inn had stood as Nyu or Nyu was in control from wanting to at least know the idiot would learn and be somehow have a sense of normality in life unlike her, but that wasn't what she thought of now; what she was think how him asking brought her from the shell she hid within to promise.
"Why did I promise without thought" A split second to utter the words "I promise" were brash for her.....somehow she hoped it would solve everything.....nothing was the same as before Kohta would talk to her now but it was all just to try and keep himself from breaking a promise he had made to himself. "Nyu doesn't kill" Nyu the idiot; Lucy had nicknamed her from how annoying it all was to hear her continually utter the word "Nyu". "She's the only reason Kohta doesn't try to kill me in my sleep" The depressing fact of the matter was he was doing it for her other half.....he only saw her as the monster lurking under the surface ready to pounce. "All I am to him is a violent thug" Rolling over she couldn't help but pull the door back open.....the cover of darkness spread before her eyes till she was fast asleep dreaming about the what if's of her life.....what if she hadn't killed Kohta's sister and father.....what if she hadn't let herself crack to take the pain out on people.....all she could see was a life of self imposed separation from everyone......somehow deep down for her that was the answer to not killing.
One slip of paper hooked onto the clock waiting to be read; nothing else but three words scribbled onto a post it note.
"I'm gone Kohta"