"What do you mean, 'You're taking the day off.'?!" A pink-haired kunoichi cried out as she brought her fists down onto her unsuspecting desk located in the Hokage tower, her brute strength alone obliterating it to pieces as her sensei frowned with mild distaste.
"Sakura…" The Godaime began, trying her best to sympathize with the angry teen. Tsunade rubbed her temples in a vain attempt to soothe the oncoming headache. Sighing, she decided to get to the point before her pupil decided to destroy the entire tower in a furious rage. "Look, I know you don't want to do this, but ever since…" Tsunade hesitated slightly, "Ever since that mission, you haven't been drafted since."
Sakura took this brief moment of silence to display her aggravation through a loud grunt while clenching balled fitsts at her sides, but the Godaime merely ignored her and continued.
"You and I both know that it's mandatory for a chuunin to complete at least one mission every month, so you need to go train for this, Sakura! It's not going to be some simple delivery mission, and I know you know that." Tsunade glared at her pupil, equally frustrated, while Sakura decided the silent treatment was best at this time, deciding that the mess on the Hokage's desk were far more interesting than her sensei's lecture.
'She really is helpful around here; less paperwork for me… But the Hokage can't play favourites!' Tsunade reminded herself while watching her pupil gaze at nothing. Nodding towards Sakura, Tsunade called for her assistant. "Shizune!"
"Yes, Tsunade-sama?" The black-haired woman answered. The small pig she was carrying, donned with a blue vest and a pearl necklace, let out a small noise, drawing Sakura's attention towards it for a moment.
"Please escort Sakura out of the building, and do not allow her back in until she has completed at least one mission." Tsunade ordered as she wandered over to her desk, which was difficult to locate under the piles of scattered, unfinished paperwork.
"Yes, Tsunade-sama." Shizune complied, setting the small pig down. Grabbing Sakura by the arm, Shizune dutifully – and forcefully – escorted Tsunade's student out of the room.
"Hey! Let go of me!" Sakura growled. "I know where the exit is." Her attempts for freedom were futile; for Shizune, handling a pissed off teenaged girl was far easier than a drunken Hokage.
"Haruno-san, please stop struggling or I'll be forced to subdue you." Shizune stated emotionlessly as they began down the stairs. Sakura finally gave in, not without allowing inner Sakura to snarl freely inside her head.
'How dare they kick us out! After everything we've done for that drunken, lazy, ancient, ungrateful…'
Tsunade pushed herself from the door, assured that she was free, before dancing happily over to her desk while Tonton stared at the gleeful woman curiously.
"Saké, saké, saké, saké!" The Godaime sang out while hastily shoving papers off of her desk and chair, pulling open drawers and laying the contents rashly on any flat surface she could find. One particular bottle caught her attention.
"Hello there…" Tsunade breathed softly, dangerously close to her reflection. "Do you want to go into my tummy?" Tonton sweat dropped. "Yes you do! I know you do!" Tsunade baby-talked the bottle as she opened it, soon after consuming a generous amount of the contents. "Ahahaha! I love you, and you love me!" Tsunade turned around towards Shizune's pet, while Tonton thought it best to begin backing up. "You too! I love you too! And yoooou! How are you, Mr. Lamp?" Tsunade cooed, rubbing up against it rather violently, sending it crashing to the floor while saké rained down. Curious as to this new substance, Tonton waddled over and began tasting it. Tsunade was surprisingly quick to notice. "Oh? The little piggy who didn't go to the market likes my saké?"
With a loud thump, Tsunade sat down next to Shizune's pet, who happened to be airborne for a few seconds as Tsunade poured the rest of her bottle onto the floor. Tonton eyed her cautiously.
"What? Am I not allowed t'share?" The Hokage slurred slightly, reaching for another bottle that had fallen when she had graciously sat down. Leaning towards the pig, Tsunade gave a crooked smile before murmuring, "D'ya like t'dance with lamps?"
After another helpful swig, Tsunade threw back her head in laughter, perhaps a little too hard, as one of her sandals rocketed through the air before lodging itself in the wall as she lay on her back.
Sakura shuddered as she stumbled out of the building; with Shizune's assistance, of course. "Did you just…" Sakura trailed off – there weren't any words for what she'd just sensed, but Shizune nodded nonetheless. Sakura bowed apologetically. "I'm sorry for trying to incapacitate you on the stairs," The medic nin stated. Shizune merely waved it off, "Completely understandable. I mean, you are Tsunade-sama's pupil," she laughed.
Both of them jumped as a lamp flew from a window into a nearby tree, seemingly connecting with someone's face before plummeting the final distance to the ground. Or at least, what was left of it. Jiraiya soon slumped out of the tree after it, more than unconscious.
"Oh no! Mr. Lamp! Wherever did you go? I swear on me grandmama's flying hotdog that that inflatable dolphin was a magnetically legal transportational device authorized by all of the candy men in the world! Even that round guy down that lane with all the pretty colours!" A very intoxicated Tsunade bellowed, instilling fear into everyone with fifty yards of her office.
Shizune sighed. "I trust you can find your way to the training grounds? I have to go deal with… that." She forced a nervous smile. Sakura opened her mouth to reply when a small explosion managed its way out of Tsunade's window.
"Slow down, little piggy! I do say that was a bit much!"
Regaining composure over her slack jaw, Sakura remarked quickly, "As long as you make sure our Hokage doesn't end up the cause of Konohagakure's extinction." Waving at Shizune, the medic nin started down the road. Tsunade's assistant grimaced as a few children were pulled inside their houses by fearful parents.
"Deal," She muttered under her breath before rushing back inside.