Yammamoto: Attencion Soul Reapers. Guess what.
Gin: Ooh. I love guessing games. I want to play (Waves hand)
Uryu: I despize guessing games more than Yaoi.
Rukia: So what`s this meeting for again?
Yammamoto: Glad you asked. Since you`ve all been working so well I decided to arrange a little vacation for some of you hard working reapers.
Renji: Cool. Where to?
Yammamoto: That`s for me to know and you to find out. Haha.
Yoruichi: Not funny. You see us laughing here? No. So there really is no reason why you should laugh.
Gin: Tehee. As we English men say: She got you good.
Ichigo: What are you smiling about?
Rangiku: What are you talking about, he`s always smiling.
Yammamoto: True. Anyways, you`ll be going to a private island.
Renji: Wow. An entire island all to ourselves.
Renji and Ichigo: Sweeet.
Rukia: Let me get my suntan lotion.
Yoruichi: Let me get my bikini.
Rangiku: Let me get my camera.
Gin: I need my cream to rub Ichigo`s hot body with it later. (Smiles)
Ichigo: Say what?
Yammamoto: Hello? I`m still talking here. Who gave you all permission to just walk away while I`m speaking?
Rukia: This reminds me of kindergarten.
Rangiku: Yeah, me too.
Renji: So what else?
Yammamoto: Hm...oh right. It`s only for one day. Hehe.
Rukia: WAAAH? That`s all we get for working our butts all year long?
Rangiku: You asshole!
Yoruichi: I outta scratch your eyes out!
Ichigo: You are a cruel old man.
Yammamoto: Thanks. I get that a lot and I really appreciate hearing that from you guys. (Smiles)
Gin: This stinks. I outta smack him silly.
Ichigo: I outta punch him in his mouth and make all his teeth fall out.
Gin: Oh, you`re so strong, aren`t ya. I like that in a man. (Winks at him)
Ichigo: No no I`m not strong...I`m weak...soooo weak. Yeah.
Uryu: This sucks. A one day vacation..so sad.
Gin: I think I`m going to cry.
Ichigo: You are such a girl, man. Seriously, what the hell?
Renji: Last thing he needs to say right now is that his favourite magazine is Yaoi. Hehe.
Gin: Oh you doll. It IS my favourite. I outta kiss you.
Renji: Please don`t. (Backs away)
Yoruichi: Another Yaoi fan. Sweet.
Yammamoto: Silence! I`m not done.
Rangiku: Who cares! I hate it when you do that. It makes me feel like a child.
Yammamoto: You ARE a child.
Rangiku: I am? Oh yay!
Rukia: Come on. Continue so I can get ready for this crappy vacation.
Uryu: This will never end will it. (Reads a book)
Byakuya: It never does and never will.
Ichigo: Why are you reading, Uryu? We are in the middle of a meeting here. Where`s your respect, man?
Gin: Let the man read his book. He`s not hurting anybody.
Yoruichi: Enough already. I got one word for you all. Letitgo.
Ichigo: That`s three words.
Yoruichi: No it`s not. Come on say it with me, letitgo.
Yammamoto: ANYWAYS it`s gonna be tomorrow.
Rangiku: This is sooo boring. I thought a vacation would last longer. We deserve a whole year of vacation, `cause we`ve been working our asses off!
Rukia: She`s right. That`s weird. I don`t think I`ve ever said that before. But she is.
Yammamoto: I hate it when Rangiku is right. And I think I always will. That will never change...
Yoruichi: So? How many days are we gonna get?
Yammamoto: Whenever you guys feel like coming .
Rangiku: (Jumps up and down) Yahoo. Now that`s what I`m talking about, baby! (Dances)
Renji: (Checks her out) Daaamn. Sexy dance.
Yoruichi: (Scratches him) Perv.
Renji: OUW!
Rukia: (Looks at Renji) You`re such a girl, Renji. Seriously. Back on the vacation topic. I don`t know if we should get excited cause Yammy could be up to something. He wouldn`t just let us go that easily.
Yoruichi: We gotta keep an eye on him. He could be planning something behind our backs.
Renji: Alright listen up old man, if this is a trap I can assure you, you will be sorry.
Yama: But it`s no trap and I can assure you, I`m already sorry. Just go tomorrow and have some fun. Besides why would I be planning something to keep you guys here? I can finally relax and get some peace and quiet around here for once. It`s an old man`s dream come true.
Byakuya: Hm...I think you got a point there. Let`s go everyone.
[The next day]
[Everyone is ready to go*
Yama: Alright everybody. Enjoy your vacation. Just follow these directions and you`ll be there in no time.
Rangiku: I don`t trust you, but okay. Um...how do we get there?
Rukia: Hey good question. How DO we get there?
Yammamoto: On a bus. Hehe. Oh there it is.
Yoruichi: We`re going on a bus? You are such a cheap bastard, you know that?
Renji: Wait, hold on here. I thought we were going to an island.
Yammamoto: I lied.
Renji: You lied? (Starts to cry but doesn`t want to show it) Have you no heart?
Byakuya: (Rubs Renji`s head) There there.
Renji: OUCH, you`re hurting me!
Byakuya: I never really liked you ever since you started talking to Rukia.
Gin: Alright, I`m ready to go. Beach here I come.
Renji: My god, man. What are you wearing?
Uryu: Gin is one creepy dude.
Ichigo: Wow Gin. You really know how to dress for a beach.
Gin: Thank you. I brought some lotion. Maybe later I can rub your smokin` hot body with it. (Smiles)
Byakuya: Um...can we go now? Please?
Yammamoto: Go on. Get outta here. Oh and call me when you`re coming back.
Rangiku: Yeah right. Why would we want to do that. Hasta la vista baby. (Waves)
[Everyone gets on the bus]
Gin: (Runs on the bus and quickly sits next to Ichigo) Hey handsome. I can`t wait to see you shirtless so I can cover up your hot body in cream.
Ichigo: (Jumps up) Cream? I thought you brought lotion!
Gin: I did. And ice cream. Guess what kind.
Renji: Oh dear god. This could get uncomfortable. But it already did. (Listens to mp3) Much better.
Uryu: (Starts reading a book...again) Interessting...
*Gin* Fine, i`ll tell you.
Ichigo: No, please. Please have mercy! (Looks up) God if this is my punishment for being such a perverted bastard, then I learned my lesson. Please stop torturing me!
Gin: It`s chocolate. (grins)
Ichigo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Gin: (Gigles) Tehee. With cherry too.
Ichigo: Somebody beat me to death with a stick, please! Rukia, you still have your stick?
Rukia: Why would I have it? (Reads Yaoi) Life is wonderful. So don`t need it.
Ichigo: But I do!
Rukia: Since when do I care about you or your feelings? (Keeps reading)
Rangiku: (Starts to sing) Everyday is so wonderful.
Yoruichi: (is sitting next to Byakuya in the bus) So...you`re awfully quiet. What`s the matter, cat got your tounge? (smiles)
Byakuya: Ha...ha. Isn`t it time for you to start coughing up furballs?
Yoruichi: Nice comeback hot shot. But you gotta do better than that.
Byakuya: Since we`re making jokes about eatchother I might get a little intense for you.
Yoruichi: Bring it on, crazy hair dude.
Byakuya: Crazy hair dude? Now it is on!
Yoruichi: It`s true. You`re just mad `cause my hair is soo much prettier than yours.
Byakuya: Oh please. You`re angry `cause of the cats that wanted to fuck you the other day.
Yoruichi: Oh you`re just mad because no one wants to fuck YOU.
Byakuya: This has gone far enough, Miss Hello Kitty!
Yoruichi: Well at least I`m way sexier than you.
Byakuya: Alright time to bring the hammer down.
Yoruichi: You don`t have one. Unless it`s your balls you`re talking about.
Byakuya: At least my mom is better than yours.
Yoruichi: Excuse me?
Byakuya: Yeah, that`s right. Your mom is soo stupid she sold her car for gas money.
Yoruichi: Haha. Your mom is soo ugly she made an onion cry.
Rukia: WOOOW. Chill! We are on a vacation here. No fighting!
Rangiku: Yeah! So kiss and make up already. Or whatever.
Byakuya: Yeah. I`m sorry Yoruichi..but I`m not kissing you *Hugs her*
Yoruichi: Same here (Smacks him and then hugs him) Even until now we always give eachother a hard time. (laughs)
Byakuya: Mhm.
[Bus stops]
Rangiku* We`re here! WOOOOOOOO. (Dances again)
Renji: (Takes a picture) Hehe. This is soooo gonna be my new screensaver. Awesomeness.
Ichigo: Thank you Lord! (Runs out of the bus and kisses the sand) Bleh! Sand! (Coughs)
Yoruichi: Wow. Now this is what I call a beach. Sweeet. (Turns in cat form and jumps in and then turns in her human form) Aaaagh. Sooo relaxing.
Renji: (Dives in) Amazing...um Yoruichi...are you naked?
Yoruichi: Yeah. It`s soo relaxing without your clothes on.
Renji: Oh goody. I should try that. (Smiles)
Rangiku: (Comes back wearing her bikini and dives in) Woohoo.
Renji: This is soo great. I think I`ll stay here forever.
Rukia: (does a cannonball on Renji in the water) Haha!
Renji: You crazy girl. (laughs)
Gin: (Is sitting on the couch) Hm...I wonder where Ichigo is..
Ichigo: I`m right here.
Gin: Oh good. Now take off your shirt so I can enjoy watching you shirtless (Puts on his sunglasses)
Ichigo: This sucks. (Takes off his shirt and a music starts playing in the background: I`m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt soo sexy it hurts)
Gin: (Takes off his sunglasses) OMFG? Pure hottness right in front of me! (Drools)
Yoruichi: Wow Ichigo. You got an admirer over there. (Winks at him)
Ichigo: He`s not!
Renji: Sure we`ll believe you. Haha.
Uryu: (Is reading his book) Stop torturing the guy.
Ichigo: Thank you!
Uryu: Even if that IS true.
Ichigo: Stop it!
Uryu: I just can`t help it. (Laughs) I try not to but it`s too much fun. (Continues reading)
Byakuya: Uryu what is that book you`re reading?
Uryu: A Yuri book. So hot, man.
Byakuya: I should`ve known no one here reads books for nothing.
Uryu: Yup. Yaoi, Yuri and Hentai are the books that really get poeple`s attencion nowadays. Let`s face it, everyone reads books as long as it`s about those three.
Byakuya: Gee, thanks for the tip. I`ll never read a single book again.
Uryu: Oh come on. God didn`t give us eyes for seeing but for also reading. Think about it.
Byakuya: Yeah. Just like god didn`t give us a mouth for eating but for also talking.
Uryu: Another good exaple.
Byakuya: Yeah, like talking bullshit.
Uryu: Ah, bullshit that makes sense though. Same as God didn`t give us ears for hearing and listening, but for also eavesdropping.
Byakuya: Uryu that`s...oh nevermind. Anyways let`s just drop the subject.
Uryu: Fine with me (Continues reading)
Byakuya: So...why do you read it?
Uryu: I thought you said to drop the subject.
Byakuya: Just anwser the goddamn question.
Uryu: I don`t know..maybe because there`s so much pleassure and sex and other great bullshit in it.
Byakuya: Okay? Is that all?
Uryu: No, it`s also good.
Byakuya: Okay well have fun reading it for the rest of your life.
Uryu: Thank you, I will. (Keeps reading)
[Later that night]
Rukia: This is the best vacation ever!
Rangiku: Yeah, and it`s just day one.
Yoruichi: Yup. This is Paradise, people. Believe it.
Gin: I especially had a great time watching Ichigo play in the sand and being naughty in the water.
Ichigo: I was not being naughty, you smiling bastard!
Uryu: Sure, whatever floats your boat. We all saw you.
Ichigo: I`m gonna kick your ass.
Byakuya: Easy there poeple. But seriously Ichigo, you gotta stop being naughty in the water.
Rukia: (Cellphone starts ringing) Hm? Who the fuck could be calling me right now? (Anwsers the phone) Who the fuck is this?...Oh it`s you Captain Yammamoto. Haha. We had a blast today.
Yammamoto: (Talking to Rukia on his cellphone) I`m glad your vacation turned out great. I can`t wait to see you all back here.
Rukia: Hang on, what do you mean turned out? Our vacation ain`t over yet.
Yammamoto: Yes, it is. I missed you guys too much and plus, did you really think I`d let you guys stay there for as long as you wanted? How stupid do you think I am?
Rukia: Kinda...and a lot?
Yammamoto: No way. (Laughs) Well what are you waiting for? Get your behinds on that cheap bus and get over here.
Rukia: You dickface! (Hangs up)
Yoruichi* What`s up?
Rukia: That old trash bag lied to us! He wants us to get back there rght now.
Rangiku: I`m gonna kill that son of a bitch!
Byakuya: Let`s hold him down and I`ll him with a mallet.
Yoruichi: And while you`re doing that, I`ll scratch his eyes out.
Ichigo: Let`s go kick some ass!
Byakuya: I still say we hold him down and I`ll him with a mallet.
Rukia: You said it brother. WHOOOT!
And you can imagine what happened next.
The End